ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
684: A UFO for Elgyem!	689: Rigure to Mikakunin Hiko Buttai!	Close Encounters of the Dumb Kind			The twerps spot a UFO and go investigating	The best tech and the worst plans	Chilling at home with buddies is way easier than building a spaceship

Today finds the twerps chilling out asleep under the stars, Iris hugging Axew, Cilan straight-laced and peaceful, and Ash splayed out like crazy. A sudden wind wakes them up and Ash sits up, the others getting up too and..... A MOTHERFUCKING UFO JUST FLEW OVER THEIR GODDAMN HEADS! A MOTHERFUCKING UFO!



The next day find the twerps in a dusty open rocky area of the Unova Region, it looks like Utah or Nevada or some similar kind of open desert area. They stop at a diner (they have those? It's not a Pokémon Center? Can they at least call it a "PokéDiner" so it has a tenuous connection to Pokémon like everything else in Ash's world?) to try to figure out just what the fuck is going on. Cilan learns to his horror that they are in Area 28. Ash has no idea what the fuck that means, and Cilan explains it is a place so famous for its multiple UFO sightings that he had no idea that's where they were.

Ash tells the man behind the counter about the UFO they saw and asks what is in the direction they saw it heading, and he tells them there is nothing all that exciting. A fat man who looks suspiciously like a fatter version of Higgins from Magnum, p.i tells them this isn't actually true, there is a strange scientist who lives to the East. He's a UFO Researcher called Professor Icarus, and Cilan gets excited, proclaiming he recently finished reading a book called,"The Truth About UFOs And It's Excellent," as well as saw him on a television special about UFO sightings.

Okay so the book wasn't called that, but Cilan's delivery of the line sure made it sound that way!

The Counter Man "agrees" with Cilan that Icarus is weird, then tells them about his mailman friend who was delivering mail recently and got a sudden massive headache and saw visions of outer space. Concerned this might have something to do with Icarus' research they headed to his place and demanded to see his experiments, confused when he didn't immediately agree to their baseless and aggressive demands. When they pushed it further and tried to force their way in, they all suffered the same headaches as the mailman had, though not the visions. They left without learning anything, and now they seem to be suggesting sending these kids to investigate further!

The twerps continue on, Cilan trying to figure out what could have caused the visions for the mailman. He suggests that somebody or something put the visions in his head, and since psychic power exists and Pokémon possess psychic powers.... they HAVE TO investigate for themselves!

Why?

Even Iris seems a bit taken aback as to what right they have to investigate, and Cilan insists that they must discover a scientific rationalisation for the mystery, it's all about being a science connoisseur! Iris notes it sounds a bit more like being annoying, but goes along as they head to the rope bridge over the canyon leading to Icarus' research... shack. They're seen by a little big-eyed Pokémon as they cross the bridge and get a sudden flash of vision of Ash falling through the rickety bridge. Troubled by the mysterious vision, Ash kneels down and touches the next plank of wood on the bridge, which promptly breaks and falls down to the ground far below. The vision saved them, but where did it come from?

As they ponder this, the little Pokémon that sent the vision sneaks away, but is unaware that it is being observed itself from afar. Team Rocket are watching from rocks high up and far in the distance, planning to catch the Pokémon for themselves. They seem to have done their research, they know that whatever it is (it's an Elgyem, we all know this) it can use Teleport, which will make capturing it difficult. Meowth isn't concerned though, he has a plan to track its movement patterns and figure out where it will appear next.

Cilan comes to the door and asks if Icarus is home, and an unshaven, dishevelled looking overweight man in a white labcoat shows up and asks what they want. Cilan goes wide-eyed and eagerly shakes the rather surprised looking Icarus' hand, speaking far too quickly as he tells him that it's such an honour he witnessed a ufo and it flew in the direction of the lab and did he see it? Icarus catches up and asks what time they saw the UFO, then grunts it certainly wasn't a UFO and tries to step back inside. Luckily Cilan knows his weakness, which is praise! He gasps that he loved Icarus' book because it laid out scientifically how a UFO would fly and he would love to know how his research has progressed since then. Icarus grunts that, as he knows, he posited that as long as you can control dark matter you can fly a UFO at any time, an.... and Ash speaks up to ask if Dark Matter is a Pokémon.

Oh... oh Ash.

Cilan explains it is a substance related to gravity, and Iris asks what would happen if you manipulated it. Cilan tells them that you could make a flying craft that could ignore gravity, and Icarus tells them he has found a way to manipulate Dark Matter. Icarus has, shocking Cilan, but says that it could take 30-100 years to prove his theory via rigorous scientific testing. Cilan quotes the postscript from his book that revolutionary science requires questioning but you must continue to persevere even through ridicule. Icarus is flattered and invites them in to have a snack, where Cilan continues to stroke his ego by saying he enjoys how Icarus' writing is written to be understood by anyone. Ash is delighted at this concept and says he would like to read the book, and Iris scoffs telling him he wouldn't get past page one. This is a cruel thing to say, but absolutely true!

Suddenly all four of them see a vision of exploding/overloading electrodes and Icarus leaps into action, rushing out of the room and sliding down a ladder into his underground lab. The twerps follow and come out into a large underground hangar, at the center of which appears to be the UFO they saw the previous night. They spot Icarus frantically working at the control panel for the electrodes that are overcharging, and he tells them to get clear. They refuse though, saying they're there to help, and he tells them to pull the cable attached to the UFO clear. They haul at it but it is attached too firmly, and doesn't seem to be coming free... until the Elgyem raises hands with multi-coloured lights on them and uses it powers and they tear the cable free. The electrodes stop zapping and the warning lights fade, Icarus sighing with relief and saying that everything is fine. The twerps turn and see Elgyem, and Ash freaks out, declaring it is a Space Alien before Cilan and Iris correct him - it's a Pokémon.



Ash, who has meet space travelling Pokémon before, uses his Pokédex and learns that nobody had even seen an Elgyem before it suddenly appeared in the desert. It seems like a "young" Pokémon, hiding behind Icarus' leg to peer out at the twerps, Pikachu and Axew. Icarus assures it that they are good people (one of them liked his book, after all!) and there is no reason to be frightened. Cilan guesses that Elgyem is the one that sent them the vision and Icarus says that it saved his research, but seems surprised to learn about how it also sent them a vision to save them (Ash) on the bridge earlier.

Icarus gets to work repairing the UFO, telling Cilan that he has been fascinated with UFOs since he was a little boy and saw what appeared to be a UFO in the sky. He was fascinated with space and eventually became a University Professor, but gave up his work because of his obsession with flying saucers. He was able to build a small working "UFO" and a large full-scale version, but they aren't "true" UFOs because they don't manipulate Dark Matter, they're just standard propeller driven crafts in an unusual shape, and the full-scale model doesn't work. This explains a great deal of the UFO sightings in the area, though he does admit that it doesn't explain all of them, and there were many sightings long before he ever set up his Lab there.

One day while testing the small craft it went into the trees and he heard a crash. Investigating, he found his UFO on the ground next to an unconscious Elgyem, and was concerned that he had hurt it. Taking it back to his home, he tended it back to health, and while at first it was skittish around him, it became fascinated with his UFOs and quickly became attached to him. Then one day while he was studying the stars through his telescope he experienced a bizarre vision of the solar system. He guessed that Elgyem sent him the vision, and hypothesized that maybe its predecessors came from outer space and wants to return. He tried to figure out how to translate the pattern of lights on its hands when it "answered" him but had no luck, even when using all the research done by others in the past.

Elgyem used its telekinesis to help him with his work and Icarus began to ponder that maybe its telekinesis was connected to Dark Matter (what? How the fuck did he make that connection?) and then one evening while watching the sun set, Elgyem put its hand on his and they smiled at each other..... what, is it in love with him? Then it began hitting visitors with visions/headaches to clear them off in order to "protect" him.... hang on, is Elgyem an obsessed stalker?

"That does make complete sense!" says Cilan, even though it makes no sense at all. Just then the doorbell rings and Icarus answers to discover a man and woman with blue and red hair from "the Space Agency" who have built a device that can manipulate Dark Matter, and they thought they'd come around and show him!

Icarus is as stupid as Ash!

He steps out onto the dirt yard with the twerps as the man and woman explain that their device can detect and locate hidden Pokémon, capture them thanks to its magnetic field, then disable their powers. Icarus can't really understand what this has to do with Dark Matter, but they continue on, explaining that the device also freezes people motionless. Dropping her case to the ground, it opens and zaps out electricity that captures Icarus and the twerps in place. Frightening from its viewing spot under the steps, Elgyem teleports away, which allows the device to analyze its teleportation patterns (it only teleported once!) and pull it from out of thin air and drop it into a light box which it can't get out of. Icarus demands to know who they are, and that's all they needed to here to get their motto on!

"An unscientifically based question indeed," says a surprisingly small, cone-breasted Jesse.
"The answer comes, as we feel the need!" adds a windswept hair-ed James.
"You know da rest," cuts off Meowth,"We live fer speed!"

Icarus doesn't know who they are and Cilan explains they're bad guys, which amuses Team Rocket as they get out of there with Elgyem, not even bothering to grab Pikachu while they can. Cilan is able to get to his Pokéballs and call out Dwebble to cut them free, and Icarus grunts that he'll have to use his prototype full-scale UFO, and the twerps insist they must come along to help.



Also because riding in a UFO is Boss as fuck.

They take off after Team Rocket, both of them looking like they're driving something The Fantastic Four would ride around in. Jesse calls out Woobat to fight them off, and Ash uses Tranquil, the two of them blasting Gust at each other and Tranquil getting the upper hand. But James calls out Yamask to blast it with Shadow Ball, so Iris has Axew use Dragon Rage to blast the fuck out of Yamask, and Cilan has Pansage blast Elgyem free with Bullet Seed. It teleports back into Icarus' hands, and Pikachu is free to blast the fuck out of Team Rocket's ship with Electro Ball, and Team Rocket have to cheese it in their jetpacks. Jesse tells Meowth to make a note of what just happened so they can get payback, but James isn't waiting. As they jet away, he has Yamask use Nightshade to blast the Flying Saucer and send them crashing down into the canyon. Rather than dying though, Elgyem uses Telekinesis and lifts them up out of the canyon and settles them down safely to the ground.

Icarus thanks Elgyem for saving them, but Cilan is worried about the saucer. Icarus replies calmly that the saucer really isn't important, obviously his bizarre love-affair with this Pokémon is more important. Cilan asks what he will do next and Icarus says he will rebuild the UFO and try and get Elgyem back into space... he isn't sure if it actually COMES from outer space, but the best way to find out is to send it up into the infinite vacuum of space and find out! They ask Elgyem what is thinks and it beams and then floods their minds with visions of it and Icarus hanging out together. Why visions of those things? They guess that what Elgyem REALLY wants to do is continue hanging out with Icarus, and he says he'll be happy to just be housemates together. So the twerps set off, leaving the bizarre couple behind and continuing on through Area 28.... and spotting yet another strange light zooming about in a way that no aircraft would be capable of. What could it be? A UFO? Swamp Gas? Team Rocket in jetpacks fucking with their heads? We won't know, the episode is over and we doubt the mystery of the UFOs is....

BEST QUOTES

"Dark Matter? Is that some kind of Pokémon?"

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