ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
667: A Night in the Nacrene City Museum!	673: Shippo Shiti! Hakubutsukan de Daiboken!	I Do Believe In Spooks!			The twerps try to solve the mystery of a haunted museum	Nobody cares, be interesting again goddammit!	Things you find on the ground don't belong to you.

Today finds the twerps in Nacrene City, the multi-coloured city we saw Team Rocket in last week. Cilan explains that Nacrene is known both as the City of Art as well as the City of Admiration, and points out that the garishly coloured buildings all about them are actually unused warehouses provided to artists to create a colourful and vibrant appearance to the city. Ash could give a shit about city beautification and economic recovery in a post-labour workforce though; he just wants his goddamn Gym Battle! Cilan explains that the Gym in Nacrene City is actually inside of the Museum, and they head off immediately... only to find the place locked up. A sign full of gibberish seems indicate the place is closed, though apparently bumming around the countryside as 10 years old has remarkably affected the education of Ash and Iris who can't seem to actually read the exact wording of the sign. Ash figures fuck it and heads up to the door, banging furiously on it and trying to turn the knobs, wanting his goddamn battle.

Cilan steps up to a poster beside the doors and Iris is able to read this one at least, it's the Secret Artifacts Exhibit. According to the dates on the poster, it opens TODAY, but the museum is closed? Cilan is confused, but then from behind the doors comes a gut-wrenching scream. What is going on inside? What bizarre things happen during....



A nerdy, slim little man in glasses inside the museum rushes straight into the doors chased by a fossil. Crashing back, he leaps up and opens the door, bursting out into the open air and startling the twerps. They ask if he is okay and he explains he was being chased by the Dome Fossil, but when they look through the open doors, they find that there is nothing to be seen. Pikachu leads them inside and takes them to the fossil, which is sitting in place on its pedestal. The scared man creeps in and can't understand what is going on, so Cilan asks him to fill them in on what happened and not leave out any details.

He takes them to a little cafe and they sit outside at a table. It seems that the museum was running behind in preparation for the exhibit, and he and the museum's workers pulled a late one getting everything set up. After everyone else had left, the lights started to act up, and pulling a penlight out of his pocket he looked around for the source of the problem. He heard what sounded like footsteps approaching down a corridor, but what appeared was a strange purple glowing light. Terrified, he dropped his penlight and cheesed it, summoning the big strong workers back to help him scour the museum for any sign of the ghost or a more mundane explanation. They found nothing, though, and fearing for the patrons he decided to close the museum until he could figure out what the hell was going on. After the workers left he explored a bit more himself, at which point the dome fossil "attacked" him and he burst through the doors into the twerps.

Iris is convinced it has to be a curse, ominously telling them an angry spirit is to blame, and a trembling Axew hides in her hair. Cilan laughs it off though, claiming there is a reasonable explanation and it's all a misunderstanding.... science will bring them the answer! Iris seems enraged by this and insists there must be a supernatural explanation, while Cilan claims that the scientific method will bring them the answers they seek. Ash stares between the two of them confused and finally speaks up, shouting out about what REALLY concerns him.... what about his goddamn Gym Battle!?!

Iris snaps that there is no time for that, confusing Ash who can't understand why anybody would ever have time for anything else. The man tells Ash he can't challenge without Lenora around anyway, and then realises he hasn't introduced himself. His name is Hawes, and Lenora is the Gym Leader and his wife. The twerps introduce themselves and Cilan asks if they can look around the museum, and he's happy to give them a quick tour. He shows them a fossil of Kabuto, and then the skeletal model of a Dragonite, the largest in the world - not knowing that Ash saw one far, far, far larger many years ago (or a few months ago in the show's continuity). Next is a small piece of meteorite in a glass case, which Hawes believes SHOULD hold some kind of cosmic energy.

He takes them to see the Secret Artifacts Exhibit, Ash delighted by the suits of armour on display. A collection of other artifacts on a rocky stage catches their eyes next, including what appears to be an Egyptian Sarcophagus. It's actually a replica of a Pokémon of all things, Hawes explains that it is meant to be a Cofagrigus - a Ghost Pokémon that is found around in certain types of ruins. What he DOESN'T mention is that they take on this shape to entice Grave Robbers so it can EAT THEM!

Iris thinks that all this has something to do with the curse, claiming it's her sixth sense which causes Cilan to smirk that it's just a hunch and she has no evidence to back it up. Ash spots something disturbing behind another glass case and approaches it, asking Hawes what it is. The oddly "unfinished" looking face of the mask is a replica of a Yamask mask, he explains, once again not pointing out that a Yamask is actually the ghost of a dead human that has become a Pokémon, and that the mask is the death mask of the person in question which clutches desperately onto it as the last connection it has with its memories of being a living, breathing person and not something to be beaten up, caught and set to cock-fighting by small homeless children. Iris looks at it and says that she has a bad feeling about this.

Next Hawes takes them to a large library filled with information on the artifacts, and explains that visitors are welcome to read anything they life. Iris and Cilan aren't any closer to a solution, while Ash is bored from not getting to battle and so is concentrating on being hungry now, much to Iris' chagrin. Cilan asks if they can sleep there tonight, and Iris eagerly agrees, saying that spirits are more active at night. Hawes figures why not, even if they are kids it might do something to save his museum, and Iris explains that Ash is the only "kid" here, enraging him and making Hawes laugh.

That night they settle down in sleeping bags in the Secret Artifacts Exhibit Room, Hawes joining them with a blanket of his own. They assure him they'll be fine, they sleep like this all the time, but he's more concerned about what happens if any spooky stuff DOES happen. Iris says that is their cue to spring into action, and Cilan says they'll solve the mystery.

Speaking of mysteries, Team Rocket are in an alleyway elsewhere in town waiting to make contact. From nowhere, Pierce appears, surprising even them despite their growing talent for appearing and disappearing at will. He explains that Headquarters wants them to switch out the real meteorite for the decoy they received recently, then mysteriously explains that the meteorite both is and is NOT their real objective. They demand an explanation, and the camera pulls away as he presumably gives it to them.

In the Museum, Iris wakes up Ash claiming she feels a weird chill. Cilan wakes up too and scoffs at her unscientific feelings, and then a strange haze enters the room. Iris knows it's the spirit, but Cilan smugly proclaims that the air-conditioning has just broken down. Then a strange clanking noise gets their attention, and they look at the haze-filled doorway and....



Okay that's creepy!



WHO'S THAT POKEMON!?! IT's.... THE GHOST OF A DEAD HUMAN FORCED INTO A MISERABLE HALF-LIFE AND POTENTIAL COCKFIGHTING SLAVERY FOR CHILDREN! IT'S YAMASK!



The Knight approaches and Hawes screams in panic, while Iris demands an explanation from Cilan. Still smug, he insists it is a poltergeist phenomenon caused by ultra low frequency soundwaves. The knight then unsheathes its sword, which seems unlikely for soundwaves, and Cilan notes that it is entirely possible that its limbs are being manipulated by strings.

"Wow, that's... kind of a stretch," notes Ash, the idea too stupid even for him to believe in. He sends in Pikachu with a Quick Attack, knowing the armour down in pieces.... but it immediately reassembles and goes on the attack again. So Pikachu tries Volt Tackle, smashing it up again, and the purple glowing flame that Hawes saw earlier emerges from it. Cilan insists that it is just an electrical discharge, but it zips around Ash and then chases Hawes, Ash noting that it is hot. He calls out Oshawott and has it use Water Gun, and then the helmet of the suit of armour rises up and begins chasing a horrified Hawes about as Cilan explains to a seething Iris that this is purely due to a change in the magnetic field causing the helmet to float. Pikachu uses Iron Tail to knock down the helm, and Iris notes that the angry spirit appears to be after Hawes, confusing him since he's such a speccy little nerd and can't imagine what he did to offend or enrage anyone, let alone a spirit. Rain appears inside of the room and Cilan insists it is the sprinklers, and then a low moaning sobbing from down the corridor is fobbed off as low frequency soundwaves causing something to squeak.

"WHATEVER!" snaps Ash who doesn't give a shit, recalling Oshawott and taking them down the corridor to actually SEE what is causing this to happen. They find the Yamask mask behind the glass screen weeping, and Cilan tells them it is just condensation. When the mask then lifts up and begins bashing against the glass screen, he explains that it's merely being attracted to something like the positive and negative poles of a magnet.

Unable to break through from inside, the mask appears to summon help from outside. The Dragonite skeleton storms forward, Cilan finally admitting that even he doesn't believe his lame attempts at explanations. It moves past them and begins hammering at the screen with its skeletal fists, but the glass seems to be made out of transparent concrete, nothing will shatter it. Cilan calls out Pansage and has it use Bullet Seed, and the Dragonite skeleton shudders for a moment and then a ghostly image appears behind it, crashing to the ground in pain before disappearing. The Skeleton crashes down, no longer artificially given life, and Hawes rushes to check on the mask. Swiping his security card, the screen opens and... the mask lifts up out of the air and zooms straight forward and... directly onto Cilan's face!



Okay, that's Cilan possessed by the dead spirit of another human being, wearing a death mask - a mask literally made by putting it onto the dead person's face! Kid's show? My ass!

Cilan speaks, but not with his own voice. He declares that now he shall punish, and blasts purple flames of energy. Iris guesses that it possessed him because he denied the spirit existed at all (or maybe because he's clearly the tallest, fittest and strongest of those present). Cilanmask tells them they must be punished for locking "it" away, the mask is precious to it. A new voice speaks up then, a woman declaring that the mask is authentic, and everyone turns to see a huge black woman with an absolutely GIGANTIC ass standing in the doorway. It's Lenora - Hawes' wife - and my God their sex life must be strange.

She asks Hawes where he got the mask, and he reveals he found it on the loading bay floor while the other artifacts were being unloaded. He figured that the replica was sent as a bonus by the people who made the Cofagrigus replica for him, and Lenora tuts him, saying he should know better. She authoritatively tells Cilanmask that this is enough punishment, but it declares that she must get out. Since that is the way it wants it, she has no choice, and calls out Watchog which is.... absolutely fucking ridiculous! It looks like a beaver-dog in an Edwardian swimsuit! The straps/stripes on its body glow bright though and alarm Cilanmask, and Lenora asks Yamask to show itself. The mask falls off of Cilan's confused face and lifts into the air, appearing caught in the drooping tail/penis of the Yamask floating in the air.

Lenora guesses that it was hiding in the artifacts and ended up here, and we have a flashback to it sleeping peacefully amongst the artifacts being unloaded from the trailer and its mask falling free. When it woke up it went into a panic because the only thing linking it to its once human life was gone, and when it saw it behind a display case it tried to pull it free.... but the mask itself is corporeal, and while Yamask could easily pass through the glass, it couldn't remove the mask itself.

At last the twerps understand, all the unexplained things they saw were simply Yamask's moves - Psychic to move things, Haze for the fog, the ghostly light was Will-O-Wisp and the rain was Rain Dance. Iris is vindicated, she said it was an angry spirit doing all these things, but Cilan smugly notes that this isn't "quite" true, causing Iris to pout that her guesses were closer than his.

And by closer and "not quite" they mean,"On the fucking nose," because she was EXACTLY right. It WAS an angry spirit doing it, just because the spirit was a Pokémon doesn't make it not a spirit! It's still a Ghost Pokémon!

Hawes rushes up beside his massive wife and begs forgiveness from Yamask, and Lenora apologises as well. It nods, and Iris says that it might just be a hunch, but she thinks it forgave him. Ash declares that it turned out to be a cool Pokémon (well yeah, it's been pretty fucking understanding about that whole,"Sorry we stole the last living remnant of your life," thing) and they head outside to wave goodbye as it disappears into the morning light.



Iris yawns, tired from a night without sleep, but Ash has forgotten all about that because NOW that they've gotten all this rubbish out of the way, it's time for what is REALLY important.

His goddamn Gym Battle!

BEST QUOTES

"Are you the angry spirit? Tell us!" "Stop! It's simply a change in the magnetic field.... ahhh I don't even believe me anymore!"

Previous Episode Next Episode Episode List