658: Triple Leaders, Team Threats
Dodgy Synopsis
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664: San'yo Jimu! Bui Esu Baoppu, Hiyappu, Yanappu!
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Striaton City is a wildly colourful place, the buildings coloured bright lime greens and yellows and pinks. Ash finds himself in an open market, staring around with delight, more excited than he can stand for his first Gym Battle... and Iris slides up beside him and smugly asks,"So tell me.... where's the Gym?"
He gapes and scratches his head, searching the dim collection of stored information living in the shadows of the massive,"BE POKEMON MASTER FIGHT POKEMON I'M ASH FROM PALLET TOWN BROCK IS MY MOTHER PIKACHU IS MY FRIEND XD!" stumbling dinosaur thoughts that lumber their way through his consciousness usually, desperately trying to find information that isn't there. Iris chides him with a smirk, it's just like a kid to get overexcited and not actually know where he's going. Axew pops out of her hair to snicker and agree, and she feeds it some food. It's spotted by a young man with bright green hair, a waiter's uniform and a HUGE green bowtie. He approaches carrying a small bag of food and offers a small, poetic like description of Axew and how it reflects Iris' nature as one who is close to, well... nature! Then he turns and spots Pikachu, and like everybody else in Unova his eyes goggle with wonder, A MOTHERFUCKING PIKACHU!?!
His name is Cilan, he's a Pokémon Connoisseur. Ash has no idea what that is, and Iris chides him again, but Cilan happily admits that the profession really isn't all that well known outside of Unova. He uses his knowledge and experience to judge the compatibility and relationship between Pokémon and Trainer and help them to work on that bond.
Ash enthusiastically declares that he's sure he and Pikachu's relationship is perfect, but Iris growls at him to forget all that crap, they're supposed to be finding the Gym! He belatedly remembers, the thought pushed momentarily out of his mind by the processing of new information (This Cilan! Cilan GOOD! Cilan not Team Rocket. Team Rocket BAD!) and asks if Cilan knows where the Gym is. Indeed he does, and he offers to take them there, leading them to a large stone building with pillars out the front in the courtyard. Ash is delighted, rushing forward and shoving open the doors with a happy roar of,"LET'S BATTLE!".... and finds himself standing in a dining room of confused people having a good meal.
More confused than ever, Ash asks what is going on and Iris asks if this is actually the Gym. Not actually giving an answer, Cilan and two other similarly dressed young men push them forward and settle them down into a table, offering them a menu and asking them for their order. Ash is absolutely bewildered, turning down the offer of a drink and exclaiming he's not hungry as the waiters offer him a lunch menu and try to suggest the specials of the day. As he fumes angrily and tries to understand this bizarre turn of circumstances, three girls at a table just over from them giggle over how uncool he is.
Slamming his fist on the table, he leaps to his feet and roars that he just wants a Striaton City Gym Battle! Suddenly all the girls at the table leap up and stare in delight RIGHT at Ash (now he doesn't know how Brock feels!), he wants A GYM BATTLE!?!
Still utterly confused, Ash grumps that he guesses it is time to leave and starts heading away, but Cilan calls him back, telling him he'll have his wish, THEY will have a Gym Battle! The lights go down and Cilan and his fellow "waiters" mince to the nearby wall and tell him he'll receive a challenge - hot as the noon day sun or maybe as cool as a glass of water - chilled of course. As they pose and put on their performance, the girls all gasp and moan in adolescent exultation, delighted at getting to see the three "dreamboats" have ANOTHER Gym Battle. Yes, it seems that this IS the Striaton Gym, and that these three are the Triplet Brother Gym Leaders!
So is this one of those things where the girls just want to see the brothers make out?
Cilan declares it is showtime, and as him and his brothers do a Charlie's Angels pose, the wall behind them opens, a rocky battlefield emerges, and the young girls rush around to the viewing balcony wearing cheerleader outfits, figuring they'll go all out with the fetishes today. Iris follows them (NOT in a cheerleader outfit) to watch the battle as well, intrigued by the oddness of this Gym. Down on the battlefield, Cilan tells Ash that he may challenge any one of them, he or his brothers Chilli or Cress. They show off their Pokémon, Chilli's Pokémon is a Pansear, Cress's is a Panpour and Cilan's is a Pansage. Like the brothers, they represent one of the different starter elements - Fire, Water and Grass respectively - and they look like monkeys with odd growths coming out of their heads!
Ash checks them all out with his Pokedex and claims any of them would be great to fight against... but which will it be? He turns around and makes his offer - he doesn't want to battle one of them, he wants to battle ALLLLLLLLLL of them!
He explains this is his first Gym Battle since coming to Unova, and he wants to battle as many Pokémon as possible. The brothers are rather surprised, but decide to play along with the idea. For some reason, they then suggest that Ash beating two of the three will be good enough for a badge.... even though every other single trainer who shows up only has to beat one of them once to get the badge! Can't the other two battles just be for fun!?! Ash agrees readily enough, however, and soon he is facing off with Chilli and Pansear - only one Pokémon each. The cheerleaders squeal happily for Chilli, while Iris just seems oddly bemused watching from up on the balcony, then surprised when Ash sends out Tepig instead of the better choice of Oshawott. Ash explains that he promised Tepig that he would use it for his first Gym Battle, and he seems confident (he's too stupid to be otherwise), while Chilli is impressed with the brass balls it takes to take on a Fire Type Gym Leader with another Fire Type.
Tepig rushes straight in with a Tackle and knocks Pansear back, but it lands safely on its feet and moves in with Fire Punch, scoring a direct hit on the plump little Sneezey Pig. It follows up with Flamethrower and Tepig tries to counter with Ember... and Flamethrower blasts right through it and into Tepig! Luckily it's a Fire Type too and not overly hurt, but Pansear digs into the ground and comes up beneath Tepig, knocking it sideways. Ash warns it to be careful, and has it run its fat little trotters around to avoid the next Dig, but Pansear comes up directly in its path and for some reason the chubby little piglet makes a bead straight for it... and gets punched right in the pudgy stomach!
Pansear digs into the ground again, and Ash tells Tepig not to let it get away, grab it and hold on! Tepig turns its fall into a plummet, zooming down into the hole and getting a good bite on Pansear's tail. Alarmed, it zips out of the hole and tries to shake Tepig clear, crashing it into the ground... but Tepig doesn't let go! Jumping up, it hauls on the tail and begins spinning a horrified Pansear around in circles before releasing it and letting momentum send it crashing into the ground near Chilli, humiliated. Tepig uses Ember to rain flames down over it, then crashes into IT'S stomach with Tackle and smashes it into the wall.. and knocks it out!
Oh wait, no.... he WOULD have if they hadn't changed the rules because he offered to do three times the work of any other challenger.
Tepig trots its fat little legs back to Ash as quickly as possible, delighted with its victory and snorting out some flame at Chilli as it proudly celebrates. The cheerleaders are morose that Chilli lost, but now it's Cress' turn, Ash will have to face Panpour.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are heading through the market stalls in their dark trench coats, hats and sunglasses to hide their uniforms. They were ordered to come to Striaton City and receive orders from a specified location at a specified time, and that time is now. They head into an alley and stop above a manhole cover, apparently the location is either straight out of the sewers or they're about to go in.
Back at the Gym, the cheerleaders cheer for Cress, and Ash sends in Pikachu against Panpour, saying he's sure it's a tough Pokémon but he has faith in his Level 12,000,000,000 Pokémon that has stared into the face of God and battled the personifications of nightmares, good, evil and death itself. Watched through half-lidded eyes with the same air of bemusement, Iris notes that Ash actually appears to have thought this one through by sending in an Electric Type against a Water Type.
Pikachu opens with Quick Attack, but Panpour avoids with Double Team, then zooms in to Scratch Pikachu. Cress smugly notes that while Pikachu has the Type Advantage, it's no match for his Panpour which has NOT stared into the face of God and battled the personifications of nightmares, good, evil and death itself. It blasts Water Gun at Pikachu which avoids it, and tries for another Quick Attack only for a second Water Gun aimed at its feet to cause it to stumble backwards in alarm.
Cress rather coolly explains his superiority as he has Panpour alternate attack and defence, putting Pikachu completely off-balance, using Water Gun and Scratch on Pikachu which has no answer for these weak-ass attacks from a low level Pokémon in a region-first Gym Battle because it's more dramatic if Ash is equalled up 1-1 so they completely ignore his skill as a trainer and his wildly overpowered Pikachu and just pretend that he's a complete fucking novice and that Pikachu is completely incapable of adapting to an odd battle situation.
Ash tries to send Pikachu in with Volt Tackle, and Cress has Panpour use Mudsport to send a huge bulging flood of mud Pikachu's way, causing it to skid out of control and fail to dish out any damage from Volt Tackle... other than the damage that it naturally does to itself by doing the move. To add insult to injury, Pikachu then gets finished off with Water Gun.... and that's all just a load of bullshit, episode dramatics be damned - Pikachu should have wiped the floor with Panpour with ONE attack! But that's the way thing goes, Iris even vocalises when - acting as the stand-in for the viewer - she declares,"So Ash's badge comes down to the next battle... interesting, right?"
Inside the sewers, Team Rocket have made contact with Giovanni on their laptop and learned of their next mission. There is a place, the "Dream Site", near Striaton City - all that remains of a Research Lab that was experimenting on "future energy". Giovanni claims that Future Energy has the power to make dreams come true, and asks them once again to note what Team Rocket's goal is - to make the world's most powerful Pokémon Army and use it to conquer the world. So if they can get their hands on that Future Energy.... their dreams will come true! He transmits them plans for new robotic weaponry, and with that Team Rocket rush off into the sewers, their (rather boring) part in this episode done.
Back at the Gym, a rather embarrassed Pikachu isn't feeling so hot after getting its ass kicked by a monkey with a water spout growing out of its head. Cilan tells them he's impressed by the bond of friendship he's demonstrated with his Pokémon, and asks his Pansage to allow them a "refined" battle with plenty of depth and taste to finish things up.
He sends out Oshawott, which proudly stands with arms crossed ready to battle. Iris and Cress are surprised, noting that Oshawott is at a distinct type disadvantage, and Iris can't understand why he didn't use Pidove instead. Even Oshawott seems to know that, as it gets a good look at its opponent and.... freaks the fuck out!
But then it becomes brave and angry and ready to fight.... from its position behind Ash's leg! Sighing, he and Pikachu shove it back out onto the battlefield and Ash offers it a morale boosting speech. He reminds it that it was the one who saved Pikachu and Axew from Team Rocket, and its little ego gets puffed all up as he insists that it is the ONLY one who can win this.
Fired back up, it steps up to fight, and Cilan offers them the first attack. Ash orders a Tackle, and Pansage... steps aside with a huge grin and watches Oshawott stumble by, then blasts it with Bullet Seed.... right in the ass! Oh fuck, that is utterly humiliating!
Iris notes that it's bark might be worse than its bite, and Cilan smirks to Ash that he and Oshawott could really use growing up - mature a little. Ash is horrified at this rather plain and obvious use of psychology to help him grow as a person and a trainer... but because he's so dim he's horrified because he actually think Cilan has suddenly become a horrible asshole and isn't just doing his job as a Connoisseur.
Cilan has Pansage leap onto Oshawott's head and bite it, causing the startled otter to rush about in a panic and straight into a rock. Ash has it use Water Gun, which Pansage easily dodgers, and Oshawott gets tuckered out, panting roughly. Ash calls out that it has to aim better, but its next efforts aren't any better, so Ash tells it to try one more time, and this time (suspiciously) the Water Gun manages to hit Pansage square in the chest as it drops down from high up in the air directly into the flow of an attack.
Ash is too dumb and Oshawott too smugly proud to realise that Cilan is working on their bond. Oshawott puffs steam out of its nose in delight and poses bravely, while Cilan is delighted by the "new flavours".... but then gets back to business, Ash won't be able to beat him with simple "tastes" like that, and calls for Pansage to draw in the sun and... use Solar Beam!
Oh snap, it all comes down to this, Ash's first Unova Gym Badge all depends on whether his proud little otter can get over its terror of the oncoming death beam of solar energy to jump clear and then beat down this monkey! But we won't find out today, Gentle Dodgers, because this episode is....
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