655: Enter Iris And Axew!
Dodgy Synopsis
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661: Airisu to Kibago!
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Returning to Professor Juniper's lab where - along with Professor Oak - she deduced that Pikachu had suffered an overload of electricity, they were all startled by a sudden eruption of electricity from Pikachu that served only to make Juniper look even worse since she'd earlier done tests on Pikachu and found it was perfectly fine. The storm clouds of Zekrom rolled in again, and now the lab itself is in danger of overloading as Pikachu lets rip with excess energy and Zekrom blasts down lightning from the sky above. So what does Ash do? He grabs up Pikachu and absorbs a good chunk of the electricity itself! Zekrom - as inscrutable as ever - lets loose a roar and disappears into the sky, as Pikachu lets loose with everything it has and clears out the storm clouds above. The lab equipment fires back up as if nothing had happened, and Pikachu... feels great! It lets rip a charge of electricity and seems to be fine, so Ash tests it out by having Pikachu... Thunderbolt him! And then Volt Tackle him! Right in front of his mother too!
Ash couldn't be happier though, holding happily onto Pikachu as he tumbles over barely able to breathe. Outside, Oak and Juniper are looking at the now clear sky and wondering if Zekrom was responsible - more research is needed is Oak's conclusion, who will take any excuse he can to stay close to the leggy Juniper!
Ash steps out and watches the sun setting, which is usually the cue for an episode to end, and tells Pikachu that there is a LOT that they need to find out about Unova. But the episode doesn't end here, Gentle Dodgers, because now it's time to....
That night, Ash happily declares to a surprised Delia and Oak that he's decided that he's going to stick around in Unova and make this his new journey, getting the Gym Badges and competing in the Unova League. Delia's "surprise" doesn't last long, she admits that she pretty much knew that this was inevitable, and Oak happily agrees to continue to look after his Pokémon for him (or rather, have Tracey do it!) - both proud that his bastard son is still getting out and exploring the world (and maybe picking up more jailbait along the way!) AND happy to continue to have Delia all to himself.
Juniper gives Ash a Unova Pokedex and some Pokeballs (okay the former is just an upgrade but come on, the kid doesn't deserve free Pokeballs!) and tells him where the nearest Gym is - Striaton City. She notes that Trip was probably heading that way since he left just ahead of Ash, and drops him a little wink, and Ash lets out a little gasp, vowing that next time he battles Trip he'll beat him.
The next day, Juniper joins Oak and Delia to say their goodbyes to Ash, as he's not even going to finish his vacation with them but just set straight out. A concerned Delia gets in what mothering she can before going back to being perfectly happy with him wandering homeless across the countryside getting into cockfights, telling him to make sure he has a handkerchief, a change of clothes and clean underwear! He laughs that he's not a little kid, even though he wears the same clothes every day, and Juniper tells him where the nearest Pokémon Centre is so he'll at least have a place to sleep tonight. Off he goes without a look backwards, Delia wondering how much he'll have grown by the time she gets to see him again (emotionally we assume, since the boy has been 10 for 14 years now!).
Ash continues on down the path, basically just running straight ahead with a stupid happy moon face of utter bliss as he enjoys life on the road once more. He's pondering what kind of Pokémon to capture first when Pikachu hears rustling in the bushes nearby. Looking over, he spots a bizarre, furry creature with what look to be giant purple ears or possibly clubby arms, and is excited to discover what it is. Using his new Pokedex, he learns that it is an Axew.... but it sure doesn't look anything like the Axew in the Pokedex! Shrugging, he figures he'll capture it anyway and doesn't even bother to battle it first, just tossing a Pokeball and.... discovering that the "Axew" is actually a very angry young Iris!
He stammers that he was only trying to catch a Pokémon, which doesn't exactly endear him to her. She gets up in his face, demanding to know if his Pokedex shows her cute face as a Pokémon... then promptly shifts mood entirely and happily declares that she forgives him! He has a lot to learn about being a trainer though, she smugly informs him, if he thinks that girls are Pokémon, and then offers some of the fruit she was getting from the bushes to the Axew that is currently living in her hair.
Pikachu approaches Axew to make a new friend and Iris spots it, and in another trademark burst of unpredictable emotional schizophrenia she goes gaga, scooping it up and hugging it tightly to her, pawing at its electric sacs (grosssss) and gasping that there is NOTHING sweeter or cuter and there's nothing this jiggly in Unova!
She wants to know what a Pikachu is doing in this region, and Ash explains that he's here from Pallet Town in Kanto to enter the Unova League. She mumbles with happy distraction that's nice, really only caring about getting to cuddle an increasingly irritated Pikachu, and extends a hand to shake as she introduces herself... and promptly gets electrocuted by Pikachu which has had enough of being treated like a plush toy. She gasps that it tingles and collapses, while Ash just tries to figure out what the fuck is going on with this weird-ass girl.
They settle down on the grass to chat, Iris apologising to a rather put-out Pikachu and then asking Ash if he saw the thunderstorm over in Nuvema Town. He casually explains that it was Zekrom that caused it, still utterly oblivious to the fact that meeting Legendary creatures and GODS on a regular basis isn't actually normal for most people. Iris is delighted, getting right up in his face asking to learn more... and then Ash and Pikachu spot a little pink deer-like Pokémon go prancing past and immediately both are up and charging off after it, leaving Iris for once to have to deal with the unsettling experience of trying to hold a conversation with an ADD freak.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are... still in their black uniforms! Based in their latest headquarters (an empty cave, ahaha!) and still wearing their black uniforms, they're in contact with Giovanni on a monitor that seems to be the only thing they bought with them from Kanto. Keeping their normal over-enthusiasm in check as they try their best to justify Giovanni's baffling recent support for them, they explain that their first plan is to capture Pikachu and "the Legendary Pokémon" for him. The word Pikachu goes in one ear and out the other for Giovanni, who could care less about Jesse, James and Meowth's white whale... but he heard Legendary! His interest is immediately piqued but James notes they'll need their Pokémon in order to capture the Legendary, but they're turned down. Giovanni's aide tells them that Pokémon from outside of Unova attract far too much attention so they will need to capture Unova Pokémon and train them up themselves (can you see a problem with this plan, Gentle Dodgers?). They agree, their restraint admirable since they're usually so attached to their Pokémon, especially James and Mime Jr. Meowth has other problems, he's one of the team and was specifically sent over, but he's not only a Meowth which is a big enough deal in Unova.... but he's also a goddamn talking cat!
Breaking off the message, Giovanni sips his tea with a chuckle, telling the aide that he has no idea if Jesse, James and Meowth can complete the mission, but he DOES know that their presence WILL force the secret organisation in Unova to reveal themselves.
Back in the cave, Team Rocket are checking out their Mission Starter Kit, supplied by Giovanni and including amongst other things Pokeballs. They'll have to capture their own Pokémon, which they've never been very good at.... but one thing they HAVE always been good at is being utterly, stupidly convinced of their own competence! As Jesse picks up a Pokeball though, a noise from deeper within the cave gets their attention, and they turn to see monstrous one-eyed winged balls of fluff coming straight for them like something out of a Lovecraftian nightmare!
On a more idyllic note, Ash is watching a pink deer drink water! Using his Pokedex, he's learned that it is called a Deerling - a Pokémon that changes appearance with the seasons. Ash is super-psyched, he wants to catch a Pokémon and he wants it now! Throwing a Pokeball, the Deerling dismissively smacks it away with a twist of its head, and Iris (who has caught up and was luckily there to catch a startled Pikachu when Ash suddenly darted out from underneath it in his eagerness to get at Deerling) tells him he's acting like a kid - he needs to battle it first!
"I KNEW THAT!" he gasps happily, still completely overwhelmed by all this new stimuli and going off his nut and being utterly retarded, then rushes out to battle with the Deerling. The whole herd starts and runs away, but seemingly not due to Ash but because.... a blanket of red-eyed and possibly rabid chipmunk like Pokémon come charging by, spinning Ash right round baby right round as they zoom on by. He manages to gape out a,"Who's that Pokémon?" before collapsing, and Iris sighs that he IS a kid, those were clearly Patrats! But by a remarkable segue way.... WHO IS THAT POKEMON!?! It's.... OSHAWOTT!
As the sun sets, Ash grabs an apple down from a long handing branch on a tree and ponders whether or not he can eat it or not. He's probably only just realised that Momma Brock ain't around to feed him any longer... but luckily Mama Iris is! Suddenly apples are barrelling down out of the tree and crushing Ash and Pikachu underneath them, Iris leaping out of the tree and happily crying out that it's dinner time, come and get it!
With the sun down, Iris sits up in a branch with Axew eating while Ash is down on the grass with Pikachu eating theirs. Ash has caught Iris up on what has been happening, they've all finally settled down enough to converse. She is very interested to hear about Zekrom, this apparently wild child savage seems infatuated to the point of obsession with it, crying out that she can't wait to meet it! Ash can't wait to meet ALL of Unova's Pokémon, they're all new to him... but Iris doesn't answer - like a toddler who has run till it's too pooped to pop, she's passed out asleep up in the tree. Ash and Pikachu look up at the sky and all the stars and he notes that now they'll be having adventures under THIS sky (it's the same sky, Ash), and Pikachu excitedly notes a shooting star. As they hoop and holler happily, still with a little excess energy to burn off, they're watched from the bushes by the same Oshawott that has apparently been following them ever since it saw Ash's fight with Trip back at Nuvema Town.
The next day, Ash and Pikachu continue down the path, Ash wandering what happened to Iris who seemingly left before he woke up. He shrugs it off in the manner that only children and idiots (and idiot children!) can, then excitedly forgets everything else when he spots a tiny, fat little grey pigeon like bird flapping through the air ahead of them. According to the Pokedex (which has a very dignified voice!), it's a Pidove and it is NOT attracted to shiny objects.... though strangely the Pokedex doesn't go into details about its political leanings or feelings on the LBW ruling in modern day cricket. Ash has what he wants though, it's a new Pokémon and he wants it! He and Pikachu rush ahead and find a whole flock of them flying about or chilling on the grass like fat little birds will do. Spotting a close one, he decides to battle it before attempting to capture it... and overdoes it slightly by having Pikachu pump 1,000,000 volts of electricity through its fat little body!
It crashes down unconscious and he grabs out a Pokeball to capture it (wait, he can do that? I thought they needed to be conscious?).... and the rest of the flock kindly point out that they don't take kindly to strangers rushing in and internally frying the organs of their buddy!
They attack in a wide-eyed mixture of panic and fury, while the blasted Pidove recovers enough to fly away, joined by the others. Ash and Pikachu pant it out, Ash too stupid to be depressed or fearful, just amused that it's not as easy as he thought it would be. Then he notes another Pidove still around, either so recklessly stupid that it didn't notice the rest of the flock cheesing it or such an incredible badass (for a fat little pigeon) that it don't give a fuck. Ash decides to find out and has Pikachu hit it with a Quick Attack, crashing into it at high velocity and send it crashing backwards... and getting back up, pissed off! So Pikachu smashes it in the head with Iron Tail, caving in its skull before Ash tosses a Pokeball and.... it bursts free and is angry! It IS a (fat little) badass!
It blasts a surprisingly powerful Gust at Pikachu, then a Quick Attack and an Air Cutter before moving in for the kill... and Pikachu dodges because seriously, I mean... it might be a badass but it's a little low-level fat pigeon for fuck's sake! A Thunderbolt crashes the angry little bird back down and Ash sends in his Pokeball again... and this time it sticks, Ash caught himself a Pidove!
He celebrates happily with Pikachu, dancing around in excitement, and Iris returns to the scene, amused that Ash is so excited just from capturing a little Pidove. Ash is completely un-self-conscious though, telling her of COURSE he's excited, he's made a new friend and it's his first Unova Region Pokémon to boot! She takes it in and actually stops with the wise old "tsk, these kids, eh?" attitude, telling him that maybe he and Pidove are the perfect match. Meanwhile, Axew has split an apple to share with Pikachu, and both are preparing to chow down when... they're grabbed by mechanical arms and hauled back up to a nearby hill! Who is it? Well who else, it's Team Rocket, of course!
"Again is the question? So twerpish indeed!""The answer to come is we feel the need!"
"Bringing the blinding white light of evil into the future!" cries Jesse, rather more "poetic" than normal.
"Thrusting the hammer of justice down onto the black darkness of the universe!" adds James, completely outdoing her and going so far over the top that Russell T. Davies would blanch at it.
"And carving our names in da rock of eternity!" adds Meowth, adding a touch of class.
"The fiery destroyer, Jesse!"
"And with thunderous emotion, I am James."
"Wisest of the wise, Meowth!"
"Now gather... under the name of Team Rocket!" they all finish together.
Well the new motto is certainly.... something.....
All of this of course doesn't help Iris at all, who has no idea of who Team Rocket actually are. Ash gives the basic rundown, and Jesse happily agrees that they're evil - she and the others have really taken to this whole "darkness tears my soul these wounds they will not heal!" thing since she gave up on her dreams of being a Contest Coordinator. She demands Axew back, then gasps when she realises that Meowth is a Meowth.... and then that he can FUCKING TALK!
They drop Pikachu and Axew into a glass case and think that this is it, it's over and they've won! But Ash has a new Pokémon, one that he's only had for like 3 minutes and which must be utterly knackered from getting the shit kicked out of it only 3 minutes and 4 seconds earlier! He sends out Pidove and Jesse decides to show it what a Kanto Pokémon can do by having Meowth give it what for. He leaps off of the hill with Fury Swipes.... and Pidove uses Gust to send him right back! So Jesse decides to fight Unova with Unova, and it turns out she actually captured one of the bizarre bats that swarmed them in the cave earlier - it's a Woobat and that single eye isn't an eye at all, but a nose! And that nose isn't a nose, it's a snout! The eyes are hidden away behind the fur, it has only one tooth, tiny little batwings... and Team Rocket didn't even know what it was called till Iris just told them!
Woobat uses Air Slash, but Pidove dodges it and moves in with Quick Attack. Woobat dodges though and knocks Pidove down to the ground with Gust, and it is knocked out! Ash rushes up and tries to wake it, but the badassness that kept it going against Pikachu got burned out by.... keeping going against Pikachu! That was only like 5 minutes ago, Ash! Give it some rest!
Jesse recalls Woobat, pleased as punch that it was a good capture and SHE made it! James opens one of the cases from their Mission Starter Kit and a hot air balloon emerges and quickly inflated... but it's not a Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon at all! It's a boring old purple balloon with a giant R mark on it, booooo!
Iris leaps up through the branches of a nearby tree trying to catch up to Axew as it and Pikachu are lifted up beneath the balloon in their glass case. She's going fast and leaping with amazing athletic grace, but even she is blown away when Ash follows suit by scrabbling directly up the trunk like a monkey and leaping out from the treetops and soaring 10, 15, 20 feet in the air!
".....no way..." she gasps as he comes within a fingers-breadth of the case.... and then misses and goes plummeting back towards the jutting tree branches just waiting to puncture a lung or a kidney.
He tumbles down through the braches and crashes to the grass. Iris comes back down to join him, wanting to make sure he's okay.... and then Oshawott comes out of nowhere and pitches the shell on its belly through the air and into the balloon, puncturing it and sending it crashing to the ground. The shell boomerangs back and the little clown-otter happily slaps it back onto its belly and looks around excited, celebrating having done something while Ash and Iris catch a falling Pikachu and Axew and hug them, apparently oblivious to Oshawott's heroics.
Jesse isn't done though, she calls out her Woobat again to deal with things, and it does surprisingly well by blasts Pikachu and Axew before they can get shots off. Oshawott isn't done though, blasting Woobat with Water Gun and crashing it back into Team Rocket. Now that they've been left open, it's Pikachu's time to shine and it rushes in with Volt Tackle.... and James slams a smoke-grenade down into the ground and covers their escape... they got away scott-free without blasting off at all!
Pikachu is exhausted and collapses, apparently not still fully recovered from its ordeal with Zekrom. Axew isn't feeling too hot either and so Ash and Iris grab them both and cheese it for the Pokémon Center, shouting their thanks back to Oshawott as they rush away.
As the sun sets, Nurse Joy (who looks barely related to the regular Nurse Joys AT ALL!) returns Pikachu and Pidove to Ash and Axew to Iris. She was excited to see a Pikachu and reminds Ash that just like in Kanto, anytime his Pokémon need treatment or rest they are welcome to come to any Pokémon Centre whatsoever. Pidove seems quite happy to be a part of Ash's team now, and makes a charming and hilariously proud little greeting to Ash and the others.
Iris admits that Ash may be a kid but he impressed her with some of the stuff he did today, and he saved Axew. He tells her they should both be thanking Oshawott (after all, all Ash did was slightly delay Team Rocket, Oshawott was the only effective one) and wonders just why Oshawott did help them. As he ponders this, the little clown otter is gaping with awe through the window at them all.
But a more important question beckons, Gentle Dodgers, how long will Team Rocket be able to keep up this slightly menacing and competent new act? How long till their natural clownishness, selfishness, arrogance, crazy Giovanni fantasies and self-obsession gets the best of them and they go back to the Team Rocket we know and love?
| BEST QUOTES |
 "You can't find anything this jiggly in Unova!"
"You're a Meowth, what are you doing in Unova? Forget about that, how can you talk!?!" "Simple... I'm a genius!"
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