462: Pace, The Final Frontier
Dodgy Synopsis
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466: Kessen! Bui Esu Rejiaisu!
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But he needs to be careful, he came out with his biggest gun against the final Frontier Brain and now it's gone, he needs to pace himself. Pace yourself Ash, this is the final Frontier Brain, don't stumble at the last hurdle, you must....
As Bulbasaur prepares to show this Dusclops who the Sheriff of all Pokémon is - Team Rocket are crawling tiredly up the side of the Battle Pyramid. Jesse is complaining, demanding to know whose bright idea this was, and James and Meowth tiredly point out the obvious - it was HER idea.
Inside, Dusclops Shadow Punches Bulbasaur who takes it directly in the face at Ash's command since they can't dodge it anyway, then hits back with Razor Leaf. Dusclops takes it, and then uses Mean Look on Bulbasaur, trapping it in the battle much like Charizard earlier. Bulbasaur tries Vine Whip but gets Shadow punched again, but comes back with Leech Seed, covering Dusclops in vines that sap at its energy. Now both Ash and Brandon are committed, Bulbasaur can't leave the battle and Dusclops is going to keep losing energy if they don't end the battle quickly.
Dusclops tries Willow Wisp and Bulbasaur comes back with Razor Leaf, creating a burst of black smoke as Dusclops continues to take damage from the Leech Seed. Bulbasaur prepares a Solar Beam but gets hit by Confuse Ray. Now, much like Charizard, Bulbasaur is trapped in the battle and confused, but will it suffer the same fate? It lets rip with a Solar Beam that blasts up into the sky and out the open roof of the Pyramid.... where Team Rocket had only just arrived!
Back in the battle, Dusclops uses Willow Wisp again and takes more damage from Leech Seed as Bulbasaur is sent smashing back. It staggers back to its feet and tries Vine Whip, hitting itself in its own Confusion. Dusclops uses Willow Wisp and smashes Bulbasaur backwards, crashing into Ash's arms and smacking at itself with Vine whip and Ash as well. He takes the bitchslapping though, crying out to Bulbasaur that he needs it to use the stubbornness and fighting spirit he remembers so well.... and Bulbasaur clears itself of Confusion and leaps up ready to fight again! Professor Oak grins and points out that, once again, Ash has achieved the impossible. Dusclops tries Willow Wisp but Bulbasaur dodges and then....
THAT WAS FOR CHARIZARD, MOTHERFUCKER!
Brandon calls his defeated Pokémon back and sends in Ninjask, a "ninja" Pokémon said to be so fast it can evade any attack. With Dusclops down though, Mean Look is no longer active on Bulbasaur, and Ash calls it back and sends in Squirtle as a fresh Pokémon. Ninjask uses Aerial Ace and Squirtle uses Rapid Spin, the two moves smacking together and negating the other. Ninjask uses Sandstorm to knock Squirtle onto its back and spins about on its Shell as Ninjask surrounds it with Double-team. But Squirtle uses Water Gun to clear the doubles and then goes for Ninjask, which dodges and fires off an Aerial Ace, but Squirtle avoids that and comes back with Hydro Pump, hitting Ninjask's Sandstorm, the two attacks again negating each other.
Ninjask uses Sand Attack to blind Squirtle, Scott noting that after the big attack failed, Brandon used a small one to great effect. Ninjask uses Aerial Ace, coming right for Squirtle who can't see it, but Ash tells it to calm down and listen for the sound of its wings. It dodges in time before sending a blast of Hydro pump wildly into the air, and Ninjask goes for Aerial Ace again.... but it seems that Hydro pump wasn't so wild after all, as it falls back down and clears Squirtle's eyes, allowing it to use Skull Bash and crash directly into Ninjask's stomach, crashing it against the wall and knocking it out!
Don't fuck with PHI BETA SQUIRTLE, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Brandon is down two Pokémon now, while Ash is only down one. Brandon doesn't seem concerned though, calling Ninjask back and sends in Solrock. It's a monstrous horrible abomination that looks like a combination rock/octopus/alien. Squirtle uses Hydro pump which hits against Psywave, and when Squirtle tries to Skull Bash it, Solrock uses Confusion to catch it in place and smash it against the wall. It fires a Shadowball but Squirtle hits the wall with Hydro pump to knock clear, then uses Rapid Spin, but Solrock dodges and uses Solarbeam, much to Ash's surprise.... he wasn't expecting a move like Solar Beam from a Pokémon with "Sol" in its name! He calls for Squirtle to dodge, but it's too late!
Meanwhile, Team Rocket is trying another tactic. If they couldn't climb over the top of the Pyramid, they'll dig underneath it! James and Meowth couldn't be happier, there's nothing quite like doing what they're actually good at! Which, unfortunately for them, isn't being villains!
Ash calls out a tired looking Bulbasaur, which dodges Psywave and uses Razor Leaf, only for the leaves to be stopped by Confusion and sent back at Bulbasaur. The Sheriff hangs in against its own attack before being hit with Confusion and sent flying. But it turns its momentum to its advantage to hit the wall with its feet and jump clear, then leaps over Shadowball and hits Solrock with Leech Seed. Solrock takes damage from Leech Seed as it uses Psywave, but Bulbasaur refuses to go down, sucking in energy for Solarbeam as Solrock gathers energy for a Solar Beam of its own, and they both blast at each other with Solar Beam and.... both go down!
So it's come down to one on one, Brandon's last Pokémon against Ash's. Max notes he used Regirock and Registeel before, which will he use now? Brock throws in his own two cents, noting that he could use them, or he.... could not!
Meanwhile, Team Rocket clamber up into the basement of the Battle Pyramid into darkness and look about, wondering what is down there.... and some the darkness emerges the horrific alien visages of Regirock and Registeel! They stare up in horror at the utterly inhuman monstrosities, then do the sensible thing and fucking cheese it! James actually grabs Jesse around the neck and hauls her bodily away as Regirock and Registeel blast through the floor after them and sending them blasting off again. But that raises the question, if Regirock and Registeel are in the bottom of the pyramid, which Pokémon is Brandon going to choose?
Back upstairs, Ash calls out Pikachu which leaps in as Brandon calls out.... Regice! May checks it out with Dexter, and learns it was formed in the Ice Age and it cannot be melted.... at all. EVER! Scott believes it must be the Pokémon that Brandon went in search of, which raises an even more disturbing fact - Brandon casually wandered off and caught himself a third Legendary in only a couple of days! And Ash has to beat him!
Ash sends in Pikachu with Thunderbolt, blasting Regice which takes a direct hit and.... no damage! It fights back with Blizzard, blasting everyone in the arena with cold air and causing May to cover her chest before Cartoon Network receives complaints from parents horrified that they can't use television as a babysitting device.
Pikachu tries Iron Tail but Regice uses Icebeam, and Pikachu only just dodges an attack that freezes half the battlefield. Pikachu tries Quick Attack and dodges an ice beam, and now the entire battlefield is made from ice. Brandon calls for Focus Punch, Jenny noting Regice can now move fast and smooth but Pikachu is on a slippery surface. Pikachu leaps high and tries Thunderbolt, seemingly giving Regice pause for the first time as it sparks with electricity, and Pikachu tries Iron Tail, smacking Regice backwards. Regice uses Ice Beam but Pikachu dodges, but then finds itself trapped between icy columns sticking up through the floor.
Brandon adds insult to injury by... subtracting injury! He has Regice uses Rest to heal up while Pikachu is unable to get at it, meaning that for Regice it'll be as if the battle has only just started. Ash calls for Iron Tail from Pikachu to break free, and as the ice columns fall, Pikachu zooms ahead to try and hit Regice before it wakes back up.... but it's too late! Pikachu is smashed hard with Ice Beam, freezing it in place!
Ash calls for it to get free, saying it isn't like it just to give up as he remembers multiple times that Pikachu has gotten him out of tough situations, and screams for a Thunderbolt and.... nothing happens.
So it seems that once again we have seen Ash come all this way only to fail at the final step. Like Indigo, like Johto, and like Hoenn before this, Ash has failed to grab that brass ring and achieve victory. Brandon's assistant notes that Pikachu is unable to battle, and therefore the winner is...
NON!
Pikachu lets rip with Thunderbolt and zaps Regice, paralysing it in place. Brandon demands a Focus Punch which smacks Pikachu off the ice columns like a pinball and off the wall. Ash notes the increased velocity of Pikachu along the ice and decides to use it to his advantage, calling for two Iron Tails. Pikachu zips about hitting hard, much to Brandon's shock as he watches Regice's environment advantage turned against him. He tries to emulate his earlier success by trapping Pikachu between ice columns and using Rest once again to remove all injury.... but Ash was expecting this, turning Brandon's own technique against him, and this time when Pikachu bursts free with Iron Tail, it fires into Volt Tackle. But Regice comes out of Rest as Pikachu approaches, and fully healed up and ready to go it lets loose with a blast of Icebeam which Pikachu... dodges!
REGICE IS DOWN! ASH WINS! ASH WINS! FUCK YOU AND YOUR SIDEBURNS BRANDON, ASH WINS!
Yes, somehow despite the LEGENDARY Pokémon being fully healed up by Rest, Pikachu has just ONE SHOT K-O'ed IT! Perhaps due to completely having it's guard down due to Rest or because it had just fired off an Ice-Beam and wasn't prepared to take a shot... who knows, but what's done is done and Ash has just beaten the Pyramid King and chief of the Frontier Brains! Brandon calls back Regice and congratulates it on taking a truly epic asswhupping, then congratulates Ash. He is proud to see that Ash finally established an original style that is truly his alone, and then hands Ash the Brave Symbol, making Ash Master of the Battle Frontier!
As the sun sets, Scott congratulates Ash for conquering all 7 of the Battle Facilities and becoming a member of the Battle Frontier Hall of Fame. He asks if Ash will become a Frontier Brain, and Ash sighs and says the thing is, there is still so much he hasn't seen and so many battles he has yet to face, and so he has to turn Scott down. Scott says he understands, but they'll always be there if he changes his mind, which must be a huge relief to Professor Oak to learn his bastard son has a cushy gig lined up if this whole "being a penniless uneducated cockfighter" thing doesn't work out.
Brandon takes off in his flying Pyramid and Professor Oak and Bulbasaur hop into Scott's car to head off back to Pallet Town, explaining that they've been gone too long leaving Tracey to handle all of the Pokémon living there. Officer Jenny is also on her way, noting she has to get Squirtle back to the Squirtle Fire Squad and all their homoerotic frathouse hazings. For its part, Charizard just hops into the air to fly its way back to the Charicific Valley and get it some sweet Charla Loving - Ash calls out after it that it was great, and it roars back in a way that suggests it is saying what we all know... that is knows that already!
So off they all go, leaving the twerps behind, Ash waving goodbye alongside Brock, May and Max. But with all their friends/colleagues and secret parents now heading off back to their own lives, it begs a question. Now that the Battle Frontier is over and Ash has finally achieved an actual victory; now that May has taken part in her first Grand Festival; now that Brock is still a virgin... what next for the twerps?
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I just want to know what idiot thought we should secretly sneak in through the skylight!"  "LOOK IN THE MIRROR!" |
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