457: Duels of the Jungle
Dodgy Synopsis
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461: Pshugeki! Hagure Manyura!
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They step out of the forest at last into a delightfully open space, and everyone takes the chance to stretch and take a deep breath. Pikachu and Aipom dance about in the grass, Aipom sniffing the flowers as Ash tells it not to run off. The twerps settle down to get some rest while Pikachu follows after Aipom. But it trips slightly and when it looks up.... Aipom is gone! Where is the big-headed, Ash-obsessed, arm-assed monkey? It has run into the long grass, and freaks out when it realises that it can't see the twerps. A cold wind blows up out of nowhere and Aipom turns to see.... a Weavile!
Oh my, they're out of the forest, but now they've found themselves smack-dab in the middle of the....
Aipom and the Weavile face off in another clearing past the long grass, the Weavile a catlike Pokémon, the evolution of Sneasel. Weavile tries Shadowball, but Aipom dodges, and then the twerps push through the grass following Pikachu. May checks out Weavile with her Pokedex while Ash asks it if it wants a battle. It answers by blasting Shadowball at them, leaping high and trying again as they dodge aside. Ash has had enough and has Pikachu use Thunderbolt, but it dodges and Shadowballs (ANOTHER Shadowball?) back, Pikachu's attempt to dodge failing to get it clear of the wake of the resulting explosion. Aipom jumps in to fight too and tries Swift, but Weavile dodges it. It uses Double-team, a row of Aipom charging squeaking at it, leaping high and using Swift. Weavile seems to have figured out which Aipom is real though, and blasts it with.... yep, another fucking Shadowball. The twerps gather around the knocked out Aipom, and look up at Weavile who is.... gone!
A man comes running up asking if they're okay and saying he saw the whole thing but apparently didn't feel like doing anything about it till the coast was clear. He checks out Aipom and scoops it up, and when they ask who he is, the grown man tells the small children he'll explain later after they all come with him to his hut deep in the middle of the woods.
Watching this terrible demonstration of a lack of stranger-danger knowledge is Team Rocket, hiding in the long grass and scoffing their faces! They've managed to get their hands on some riceballs (not donuts, not cake or pies or cookies but rice-balls!), and have been enjoying a meal AND watching Weavile take out Aipom. Meowth suggests that discretion is the better part of valour, so maybe they should just stay away from the "crazy kook". But Jesse is in love (again) and declares that not only is Weavile is a dreamboat, but it is HERS!
Well okay, Meowth can go along with that, they'll grab it and give it to Boss.... but nope, Jesse has other ideas.
When Meowth snaps at her over her eagerness for Weavile, she suggests he is jealous, and Meowth becomes enraged. James has to restrain the little angry ball of fur, which tells Jesse that he WILL beat the shit out of Weavile and catch it just to prove how much better he is. As Jesse and Meowth argue, James sighs, noting that this usually means trouble for all of them.
Deep in the forest in a lonely serial-killer shack, the man has introduced himself to the twerps as Kerrigan of the Wilderness Guard Corps, a clearly made up name by some weird-ass redneck militia member. The twerps introduce themselves as Kerrigan puts Aipom to bed (woah, dude moves fast!) to get some sleep. He explains to the twerps that Weavile is a stray, one that left a tribe of Weavile and Sneasel living together in the forest, and now it attacks any person it sees with a Pokémon. He doesn't know why it is doing what it is doing, but has apparently had enough and is getting ready now to take some proactive action and sort out what the problem is.
The twerps want to come along too, but Kerrigan warns it might be dangerous, which is like waving a red flag in front of a bull (if you ignore the fact a bull is colour-blind), and Ash insists on coming along.
Meanwhile the Weavile (which has scratches on its face) is remembering a bitter memory, of stumbling hurt and injured through the rain one night, ignoring the plaintive cries of a female Sneasel for him to come back, not to leave. Back in the present, it grimaces, then leaps down from the branches and disappears into the forest. It's unaware that it is currently being traced, as Kerrigan leads the twerps into an area where Weavile has been known to hang out, and Pikachu catches its scent and heads into the forest. Weavile meanwhile has reached a lakeside shore and is staring at its reflection when.... oh Meowth.
Yes, Meowth is in a horrible Weavile costume, stumbling up in his terrible costume declaring that it's a Weavile, he's a Weavile too! Watching from afar are Jesse and James, the latter asking Jesse what happened to Meowth's big talk of beating up Weavile? Jesse explains that Meowth's fake friendship is the perfect ruse to get her Weavile. Meowth is spinning a terrible line about his origin in a magic forest far away, but Weavile isn't falling it. It refuses to shake hands and warns Meowth that there will be a Shadowball (what else?) with his name on it if he trespasses on Weavile's territory again. Meowth runs off back into the bushes, but Jesse insists he goes back in, and then the twerps arrive on the scene. Pikachu chats to Weavile and in the bushes Jesse insists that Meowth translates. Unfortunately they're talking too fast, and Jesse leaps up to denounce him as a terrible translator, and then realises the twerps can see her! Well, what else to do but the motto!?!
"Prepare for trouble, us guys it is!" "We're here on some Weavile biz!"
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destiny!"
"Wif Meowth, dat's me!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Hey Meowth's da name!"
"Wherever there’s peace in the universe!"
"Team Rocket!"
"Will be dere!"
"To make everything worse!" they finish together.
"WOBBUH WOBBUH!"
With that all done, Jesse drops to all fours to express her love for Weavile (Oh my!), actually referring to him as a "sir" which surprises James, because apparently she won't even call Giovanni "Sir". Ash declares that she can't "have" Weavile... what gives him the right to say that, does he think he owns Weavile or something? It seems he thinks he has first rights to battle Weavile, but Jesse snaps at him that he can go and battle himself, nobody touches HER Weavile.
Then into the scene emerges yet ANOTHER actor, the female Sneasel from the earlier flashback. Jesse demands Meowth translate the ensuing Pokémon Conversation, and we learn the female isn't following Weavile, but "escaping". It seems that once the Weavile was in charge of the tribe of Weavile and Sneasels living in the forest. But then a Rogue Weavile with a scar over its eye showed up and beat the living shit out of it, kicking it out of the tribe and becoming the new chief. So Weavile became a rebel, leaving the tribe lands and heading further out into the forest where it vowed the vow of a billion nerdy kids who have been bullied.
The female Sneasel explains that the new Boss is basically a bit of an asshole... and then he shows up!
Jesse is furious when the Sneasel hides behind HER Weavile, and when James and Meowth suggest that she is being a little over the top, she shows them what over the top really is! After throwing a massive tantrum, she charges towards Weavile telling it happily to come with her. It turns in surprise and irritation, then Shadowballs them, blasting them off again!
"De only ting worse than a dame in da back is a dumb dame in da front," suggests Meowth as they fly through the air.
"I knew it!" moans James, who really doesn't care for dames in the front OR the back!
Boss Weavile tells the female Sneasel to come back, leering at her and giving us a good idea of exactly WHY the female decided she didn't want to stick around any longer. Ash speaks up, asking the Rebel Weavile if it is just going to sit back and take this? Boss Weavile orders the other Weaviles with it to surround the Rebel, but Pikachu blasts them away before Ash goes back to goading Rebel, asking if it is going to fight or run away again?
The fight is on, the two Weavile rushing along beside each other, trading Shadowballs (what else?) across the surface of the lake. Boss jumps out of the water and tries to claw at Rebel's face, but Rebel locks and knocks it into the lake, firing a Shadowball (HOLY SHIT NO WAY!) at it, but Boss escapes the attack. Rebel jumps high and Boss fires a.... Shadowball.... and Rebel remembers their original fight, where it dodged a similar move only to have its face scratched up. So this time when it dodges, it is ready, grabbing the clawing hand and throwing Boss down, leaping on top of it and holding a claw menacingly above Boss Weavile who has no choice but to relent. Rebel is the winner and NEEEEEEW Chief of the Weavile/Sneasel Tribe..... but lady Sneasel rushes to the Boss Weavile's side and helps it up!?!?! She makes them shake hands, and the two smile at each other.
Nope, not a truce, a tryst! A nice three-way for this dirty Sneasel with low self-esteem and a hankering for a three way..... what a dirty slut!
They head off back into the forest for a massive rape-orgy, and Kerrigan takes them back to his hut (not for any kind of orgy, rape or otherwise)) where Aipom seems to be feeling better, and Ash tells it that it has gained even MORE weight.
Aipom rushes off squeaking and laughing, and Ash and the twerps chase after it. Kerrigan - who has pretty much done NOTHING all episode - laughs and waves goodbye to the kids, completely unaware that within a few years that Weavile/Sneasel tribe is going to grow a lot larger and go to war with the rest of the forest in a blood orgy of destruction, beatings and sexual molestation unseen since the Japanese invaded China pre-WWII.
Well done, twerps!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "De only ting worse than a dame in da back is a dumb dame in da front!" "I KNEW IT!"
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