453: Thinning The Hoard
Dodgy Synopsis
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457: Haruka Bui Esu Hari! Daburu Batoru de Suteji On!
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Yesterday, May managed to make it through to the first round of the Pokémon Grand Festival after over 200 other eligible Coordinators were knocked out of the preliminaries. But Drew also made it through, as did the delightfully, campily villainous Harley, as well as Pewter City veteran Soledad who apparently everybody knows and respects and who is reminding us all strongly of Richie, Harrison and Tyson! But let's not get ahead of ourselves, there are 60 other nameless Coordinators whose dreams need to be destroyed, with the preliminaries out of the way, now the first round is set up for....
As seen at the end of yesterday's episode, Drew calls out.... FUCK YES! A motherfucking ABSOL!
This first round is apparently another Performance Round and not a Contest Battle, and Absol uses Flash to impress the audience as it absorbs ambient light, making its coat sparkle. Soledad and May are watching backstage, Harley doing his nails and apparently unimpressed. Absol uses Water Pulse to create a swirling water funnel, and then Razor Wing to break it up and let sparkling water fall around it in rain as the crowd cheers and Drew and Absol bow.
Backstage the other Coordinators are impressed, while Jezidia soon joins them to interview the first Coordinator she can, and the first she sees is Drew. She attempts to interview them, watched on TV by people all around Kanto, including some of those who have encountered May during her journey to The Grand Festival. But Drew refuses an interview, and Jesse snaps at Wobbuffet for shining a light up her ass (oh like you wouldn't) as onstage Harley steps out with Octillery. It uses Fireblast to create a man shaped flame before it leaps inside of it and kind of sings weirdly while dancing, which is impressive for a water type I guess.
He is getting pissed off (you would too if a mutant monkey was making a.... monkey.... out of you), knowing May is due out for her performance soon. But Aipom just continues to mock him and play keep-away, so he decides enough is enough. He sends in Pikachu with Quick Attack, knocking Aipom aside as Ash grabs his hat back and calls for Thunderbolt, blasting the little monkey and throwing out a Pokeball to capture it..... but it slaps it away and the ball smacks Ash in the face as it laughs and runs away.
Back inside, Soledad's Slowbro is using Psychic to spin about on its ass, before using a spinning Water Gun to create a Water Dance as May watches backstage, muttering that Soledad is so good, almost perfect. Harley chuckles that she is good enough to grab the brass ring, and Round 2 is going to be interesting. May is introduced next, and Ash shouts at her from the audience not to be worried, he's there!
Ash's fixation on himself as the most important thing in the world notwithstanding, May calls out Munchlax which uses Solarbeam to send up a massive bolt of light, before Focus Punching it to create a golden shower of.... GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!
The Judges are impressed and Soledad says she never would have thought of a move like that, and even Harley admits reluctantly that "Shorty" was good. But only 16 will get through to the next round, and May is understandably worried. She's joined backstage by the twerps, and seems to relax a little after they and Soledad assure her that she deserves to be there. But then Harley rushes up gasping that there is something is wrong with Drew, and it seems he isn't making things up this time. Drew is standing outside yelling at Absol to attack him with Razor Wing! May and the others run up and ask him what is wrong, and he comments there is nothing wrong, other than that Absol wasn't doing Razor Wing right, he wants it to use the attack with power, not as a flashy presentation. Soledad says that she knows that he is upset with Absol's performance and he replies that he just didn't have any passion, recalls Absol and starts to walk off. May snaps at him that Absol deserves more and he owes it more, and he responds by FINALLY showing some actual emotion! He whines that his other Pokémon always give more and Absol just isn't trying hard enough, then swings around and actually yells at her that he isn't a wimp like her! He storms away, leaving behind May to wonder what is wrong while Harley enjoys seeing a rival crack under the pressure AND another have her heart broken, and giggles happily because he's a bitch!
Soledad settles down with May and Max on a bench as the sun sets, telling them that bullying isn't any way to deal with a Pokémon, she thinks that Drew was shook up by May's performance. Drew meanwhile is sitting by the river as Brock and Ash show up and tell him that it might be a good thing to go and have a little chat with May. Ash mentions all of the rivals he has faced over the years and how he never brought up how they trained because they dealt with that in the ring (except of course for when he did, such as with Gary, ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!). Drew smiles, agreeing that yes, him and May ARE rivals.
The next day, the sixty four competitors are waiting to see who the top 16 are.
Yes May made it! So did Drew, as well as Soledad and.... yes, Harley "sashayed" his way in, as Max puts it to eloquently. Of course, 48 of them are gone, their dreams as destroyed as the 206 who had their souls crushed a couple of days earlier. The performances are over now, though, it's time to shuffle the deck to see how the top 16 will compete and..... it's May versus Harley!
He tells her it is Kismet, but is upset when he notices she doesn't seem upset anymore despite being yelled at by Drew the day before. Well, if Drew can't make her weep, he'll do the honours!
The Contest Battles today are double battles, with five minutes to knock your opponents' points down lower than yours. Lillian points out the cup again, then introduces May and Harley as the clock starts while Munchlax and Eevee are called out against Harley's Wigglytuff and Cacturne. Wigglytuff looks....tough!
Up in the stands, Aipom shows up on Ash's shoulder and he snaps at it that this is no time for goofing off, and it seems surprised into silence.
Harley tells May she'll soon be crying but she retorts it'll be him (oh my, the "takes one to know one!" defence!) and sends in her Pokémon. But Wigglytuff inflates itself up large and bounces them off, knocking off May's points. Drew and Soledad watch from backstage, Soledad saying Harley should be careful about underestimating May. Wigglytuff runs in to attack, then jumps aside as Cacturne uses Poison Sting to knock Eevee and Munchlax back, before swinging in with Needle Arm. Eevee fires up a Shadowball though, and Munchlax Focus Punches it into Cacturne, creating an explosion and knocking it down to the ground and.... knocking it out! Cacturne is out and Harley loses almost 40% of his points!
But the battle ain't over yet, and Brock roars at May to stay focused on Wigglytuff, which is falling down from the sky where it puffed up earlier. Her Pokémon only just dodge Bodyslam before being grabbed by Wigglytuff's ears and headbutted together before being thrown into the air and.... bitchslapped!
May loses a lot of points as her Pokémon are knocked to the ground and Wigglytuff gently lowers itself down. Harley tells May she can cry now, but she refuses and uses Shadowball and Hyperbeam over and over as Wigglytuff dodge and dodges, causing May to lose more and more points. May is really at the disadvantage now, but as she watches the balloon-like Wigglytuff she suddenly remembers all those Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloons she has blown up! She has her Pokémon combine their attacks behind Wigglytuff, the Hyperbeam and Shadowball exploding behind Wigglytuff and catching it in a draft that sends it spiralling out of control towards the ground and.... MUNCHLAX PUNCHES IT RIGHT IN THE FUCKING BELLY! Wigglytuff hits the ground hard and...... it's out!
HARLEY LOSES! MAY WINS! HARLEY LOSES!
He grits his teeth and growls that he hates "Shorty" as a fascinated Aipom dances in celebration of May's victory, surprising the other twerps.
More battles continue, with gigantic surprises coming when somehow, against all precedent and expectations, the completely nameless and almost entirely unseen other Coordinators are actually BEATEN by Drew and Soledad in mostly unseen battles where we don't get to see the losers get in any offense! The Hoard is soon thinned right down, and the first battle to decide the Final Four will be between.... May and Drew!
Oooh, you could cut that sexual tension with a sexual knife.... sexually!
May sends in Squirtle and Combusken against Drew's Flygon and Absol. Squirtle Rapid Spins towards them and Flygon counters with Sandstorm. But May was expecting that and has Combusken leap onto Squirtle, bounces off of it and going for Megakick. But Absol leaps into the Sandstorm and uses Flash to trap Combusken, and then Absol Iron Tails it RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE!
But May says she isn't down yet and orders a combination Sky Upper Cut and Bubble, and they charge in towards Drew's Pokémon and......
NO!!!!!!
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