452: May, We Harley Drew'd Ya!
Dodgy Synopsis
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456: Kaimaku! Pokémon Kontesuto, Gurando Fesutibaru!
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Today finds the twerps arriving at the Indigo Plateau, standing on a hill and looking over the scene of Ash's first heartbreak - his defeat at the hands of his crappy clone, Richie. But that was then and this is now, and May is ready to take part in the Grand Festival as she charges forwards downhill towards what she hopes is victory. But what if she fails? After all she has Harley and Drew to contend with. Is it possible that she'll suffer the same fate that befell Ash on these hallowed grounds? Will the Grand Festival be saying...
A bubbly girl with giant glasses and a ridiculous ribboned dress that shows a lot of leg appears on a television screen, introducing herself as Jezadia and telling those watching that she will be proudly presenting the Winners Cup to the Grand Festival Winner. But who is she? Who is this Jezadia? It's Jesse! She found a way to be in the Grand Festival after all AND get guaranteed attention! James is her cameraman, with Meowth the producer in a silly little costume that doesn't even attempt to hide his tail, ears and whiskers. Wobbuffet is helping too, happily holding up cue cards telling Jesse to "SMILE!"
Inside, May registers herself and her Pokémon and presents her ribbons to prove her qualifications. Outside, trainers are preparing for the preliminary round tomorrow. Lillian approaches Jezadia and congratulates her on her good work and keeping the viewers on the edge of their seats (possibly in the hopes of her bending over just a little more in that ridiculous skirt of hers). Jesse thanks Lillian, then mutters that she needs a drink and demands James gets her a..... water.
James snaps he isn't a roadie, and she roars at him GET HER A DRINK and he remembers that he may not be a roadie, but she IS he and Meowth's Crazy Bitch Goddess Queen! He grabs her the water and she gulps it down, then snaps at them that she isn't doing this for the money, but because she wants the spotlight on herself!
Meanwhile May is chatting by video phone to her mother, who proves it wasn't an isolated incidence of bad parenthood when she let her well-developed daughter go away with two puberty level males on an "adventure". She claims she can't make it to what is to be the biggest, most important event of May's life because she couldn't "rearrange her schedule", but she is "sending" good vibrations by putting her hands against the screen and kind of shaking a little. Watching from an open window is...Aipom! Yes the little ass-armed monkey has spotted Ash, and in an effort to get his attention it jumps down and starts stealing everyone’s' hats!
Ash realises it is the Aipom that stole his hat, and the Coordinators who have had their hats stolen mistakenly believe that Ash's recognition means that the Aipom is "his", and demand their hats back from him. Aipom drops the hats, then grabs Ash's from atop his head and cheeses it, jumping over Nurse Joy and grabbing her cap which sends Brock into a rage and sees him giving chase. Pikachu takes a leap at Aipom, but misses and smashes headfirst into a pot plant while Aipom happily drops Nurse Joy's cap onto Brock's head. Before it can get up to any more mischief though, it finds itself caught up in a Petal Dance from Drew's Roselia, followed by a Psychic from a Slowbro that lifts it up and floats it back to Ash to return his hat.
Aipom cheeses it, while Drew complains that May and the others need to calm down and stop being so over the top (huh? What?) and when May teases that he is just as nervous as her he replies that he "doesn't do that". To his embarrassment, however, the lady Coordinator with the Slowbro that used Psychic laughs that he used to, in his younger days!
Brock is delighted to say the least at the presence of someone with ovaries, and seems to already know her, saying her name is Soledad. She in turn recognises him! She knows him as the Gym Leader of Pewter City, and he excitedly replies that it is his dream to be a Breeder!
She brushes off Brock to speak to Drew (oh Brock....), chatting to the green haired coordinator about his Roselia, and he compliments her Slowbro in turn. Heading off, he warns May that Soledad is a tough cookie (with a ridiculous name) before Soledad introduces herself to them.
Sitting at a table, May - who seemed a bit taken aback by Drew and Soledad's seemingly intimate knowledge of each other - plays the oldest game in the book, telling her that it is strange that Drew never mentioned her AT ALL. Soledad doesn't rise to the bait though, replying that he probably had more on his mind, explaining that she met Drew at his first Contest where he made it all the way to the final only to get beaten in a timeout, and he cried after his first loss!
Meanwhile, Max (who had just dragged Brock away from horning all over Soledad) bumps into....
Oh my!
With an obviously put on deep voice, the mysterious "stranger" asks Max to give the odd flower to May. The girl in question is getting ALL the cripplingly embarrassing goss from Soledad meanwhile, being told that she and Drew constantly bump into each other at Contests when Drew will ONLY talk about her. It seems he refuses to take other people's advice so they spend all their time discussing other Coordinators, but the only Coordinator he mentions at all anymore is her, and Soledad takes great delight in cutting through all of Drew's bullshit and telling May that she thinks he has "feelings" for her.
This is a mind-blowing revelation, and as usual Ash completely misses the subtext by declaring that he understands just what she means, his mind more on Gary than Misty. Soledad tells May to be more confident, because she expects more from one of her potential rivals. Max arrives and terrified May by shoving the rose under her nose and telling her it came from some "weird guy in a cape". The rose petals suddenly explode up with little springs, and Max turns to Brock and suggests it might have been Harley, and Brock thinks it could have been... but they simply don't know, after all Team Rocket can put on glasses and become effectively invisible to them!
But getting five ribbons only gets you in the door, and the elimination process is almost needlessly cruel. Of the 270 Coordinators who have qualified, only 64 will make it through to the first round, with 206 finishing even before they start.
But for the winner, the glory of being the "Best" Coordinator for the region, as well as the beautiful Winner's Cup!
Mr. Contesta welcomes them all and calls for applause for those who just managed to qualify. Mr. Sukizo thinks it is all remarkable, and Nurse Joy might as well be a Nurse Joy shaped rock for all the use she is. To compound her uselessness, a Special Guest Judge is on hand, and much to Brock's delight, it's Lillian's sister from Hoenn, Vivian!
Joy's uselessness (and Brock's horniness) is further increased by the presence of three more Nurse Joys, who will be offering scoring combinations based on their look at the Coordinator's Pokémon in the preliminary round, and after conferring with the other Judges they will cut the wheat from the chaff to get the final 64 Coordinators. Lillian then introduces her co-host for the Grand Festival, and it is.... JEZIDIA!
She basks in the cheers of the crowd, only to note that James has started filming the crowd, and she snaps at him to film her, not them! Meowth replies she needs to get over herself, and then Jezidia and Lillian kick off the preliminary eliminations! As each coordinator shows off a Pokémon of their choice in an effort to impress, Jesse keeps trying to get into the shot, pulled aside by Meowth who tells her to stop being her, and James agrees, reminding her that this persona is meant to be "sane"!
The Joys give scores (further mocking Brock, who never will score with any of them).... to give an indication of the progress of each of the Coordinators, and then May is introduced along with Combusken. She instantly tosses out a Frisbee and Combusken leaps high, smashing it with a Sky Uppercut as Soledad, Drew and the mysterious stranger watch from backstage. The crowd loves Combusken's moves, Lillian paying special attention to the fact that May did NOT go with an expected fire attack. Jezidia then introduces Soledad, who calls out a Lapras, while backstage Drew tells May that Lapras is super high powered, it's been with Soledad for a long time now. Lapras makes a splash into the pool set into the stage, and the wave threatens to spill over the crowd until Lapras freezes the water in place, and Jezidia gasps about the mesmerising mounds.
May asks Drew if he thinks Soledad is better than him, and he replies by affecting his normal indifferent air. So May does what all women do so well, and cuts him down at the knees by mentioning that she knows he cried the first time he lost. Surprisingly he seems impressed by her statement, asking her if she is trying to play mind games with him, admitting that he was a bundle of nerves back then. He heads out next and impresses, of course, but Soledad tells May that she thinks his moves are a little bland, he always wants to win based on moves as opposed to flashiness.
Jezidia prepares to introduce the next contestant, and sees on Wobbuffet's cue card that it is Harley, much to her dismay. Harley steps in, and in a gigantic shock it turns out that he was indeed the mysterious stranger! What a shocker! He steps in still cloaked and hooded, then pulls aside the cloak to reveal.... OH SWEET JESUS FUCK!
Ash falls out of his seat in horror as Harley cries to the crowd that it is him, their favourite "naughty coordinator"! Bizarrely, Max chooses this moment to declare that he thinks Harley has a "crush" on May.
Soledad tells May that Harley is an old friend of hers, which surprises May. She tells her that he's one of a kind and she really likes him, and Drew returns and notes that he always "keeps it fresh". Onstage, Harley calls out Banette to put on a show and....
With that done, the Judges make their decision on the Top 64 and they include Soledad, Drew, Harley and.... and.... MAY! She's in!
As the sun sets, the twerps and Soledad are up on a balcony in the building where the Coordinators are presumably staying... well except for 206 of them who are probably either already packing or curled up in the shower crying their eyes out in utter desolation and despair. May feeds Combusken and thanks it for getting them past the first round, and Soledad tells her that tomorrow will be a great day. Just then Harley comes charging along the balcony, calling out that May is his cute little gingerbread cookie and begging her to call him Mayley! May is, of course, absolutely horrified. Harley laughs that he is going to win, then points over at Drew who has just arrived, telling him that he'll lose too before blowing him a kiss, causing May to mutter,"Oh Drew."
Soledad watches on, seemingly amused by the bizarre machinations/relationships/hatred/lust/love/rivalry of her three most dangerous opponents.... and then Aipom steals Ash's hat, running away waving its ass in his face!
The next day dawns, and it is time for the next round. Drew steps up first and calls out his Pokémon.... an Absol! That is totally awesome! May is shocked to see it, but who is going to be Drew's opponent? And who is going to win the Grand Festival? The girl we've followed since the start of Hoenn, May? Or maybe her green-haired rival and love interest, Drew? Maybe the campy and bizarre Harley? Or perhaps the complete and total stranger who apparently never even existed until this very episode but evidently is best friends with Drew and Harley and knows them all and is making friends with May right at the start of the biggest and most important show of her life so far just like Richie did with Ash all those years ago in the same place!?!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I'd say Harley's got a huge crush on my sister."  "........ uhhh...."
 "Not right now, I have a headache!"
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