451: Slaking Kong
Dodgy Synopsis
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455: Kyoi! Kyodai Kekkingu no Yama!
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Today finds the twerps on their way to the Indigo Plateau, Ash saying he will train as soon as he gets there, and continue to train until he feels ready for a rematch with Pyramid King Brandon. May is just eager to get to the Grand Festival there, but Max reminds her that the best coordinators in the world will be there, and it isn't going to be easy. May is sure she will win though, happily looking at the ribbons in her case and saying they didn't get their by themselves. They hear a voice calling and turn to see a group of Aipom tearing along the ground (they have arms coming out of their asses!) chased by an old, cleft-chinned man calling them thieves. The Aipom leap over the twerps, grabbing May's ribbon case and Ash's hat, then disappear into the forest as May drops to her knees.... she's lost her ribbons!
We next find the twerps at the old man's house, settled around his table as he introduced himself as Taylor (he doesn't introduce his cleft chin and he doesn't roar that the blew the whole thing up, didn't they? Those madmen!). He tells them that he owns an orchid and harvests berries to make into Pokeblock, and for as long as he has been here he has been happy for the local Pokémon to come down and eat berries when they are hungry. But recently the Aipom, Mankey, Slaking and Vigoroth have started taking more than they need, much more, and running away with everything he grows. The reason for this? Well he suspects it has something to do with what he was told by a recent traveller who got caught in a violent storm one night. As he made his way through the mountain roads, he came across a massive wooden fence, and then lightning struck and.... holy shit! He ran away as fast as we could and told Taylor what he saw, and what did he see?
Taylor tells the twerps that he believes that the Pokémon are stealing the berries in order to feed the giant monster. May really doesn't care about that though, she's only interested in what is REALLY important, getting her ribbons back! Ash agrees, adding another vitally important point, he needs his hat! Taylor decides to go with them, since he figures that after they deal with the important things like finding five ribbons and a hat, they might possibly deal with the such unimportant things as saving his life’s work!
Meanwhile in the forest, the Aipom are kneeling near the gates of the giant fence, staring up at two oddly dressed midgets who have their backs turned, chanting about the berries before they turn around to reveal... Meowth and Wobbuffet!
Yes the two Team Rocket Pokémon (in horrible wigs!) are chanting away about how the Aipom have brought a proper tribute. They take the berries, the gate opening behind them and the giant monster appearing shrouded in fog and shadow, roaring,"SLAKING!" The terrified Aipom scatter in fear, and the podium Meowth and Wobbuffet are on glide back as the gates shut. On the other side, Jesse and James leap out from behind a massive piles of berries, laughing that they have enough now to make a massive amount of Pokeblock to sell at the Grand Festival and make a fortune!
James notices the ribbon case and picks it up, and Jesse gasps to see five ribbons inside.... now she can go to the Grand Festival as a Coordinator after all! James and Meowth are shocked, it's not like the ribbons are hers, but she insists that possession is 9/10ths of the law, and the other 10 is simple creative licensing!
Elsewhere in the forest, Taylor and the twerps spot Mankeys running through the bushes with berries and chase after them, finding Meowth and Wobbuffet chanting again as Mankey, Vigoroth and Slaking hand over the berries. They spot the Aipom watching from the side, one of them wearing Ash's hat. The gates open and the shadowy figure of the giant monster beats its chest with a roar of "SLAKING!", causing the Pokémon outside to run in fright. May isn't scared though, she wants her ribbons back! She charges after the unrecognised Meowth and Wobbuffet as they glide back through the gate, Taylor and the twerps only just making it behind her, and instantly spot Team Rocket, and Jesse's hold on May's ribbon case!
May doesn't give a shit about the mystery of the giant Slaking, the mysterious fence, the fog, the giant pile of berries or even what scam Team Rocket is pulling - she wants her case back! Jesse happily agrees, she can have the case but Jesse will have the ribbons! Ash of all people actually gets back on track by demanding to know what kind of a scam they're running, but Meowth insists they're clean, the berries were a non-extortion offering! At that moment, the giant monster steps out of the shadows and reveals itself to be a giant Slaking! The gates open again and the outside Pokémon peek through, terrified of the monster, and Meowth roars at them that the King wants them to get rid of the twerps, so they monkeypile on and the twerps cheese it. The Aipom and Mankeys cut them off as they run, Vigoroth and Slaking stepping up behind them. Ash orders a Thunderbolt warning that blasts the Pokémon out of the way, and Taylor says Max and May should go with him and Ash and Brock can go the other way.
The Aipom chase Ash and Brock, most of them distracted when he drops some Pokechow from out of his pockets (he's the kind of guy who would invest in a lot of peanut butter if he had a dog), but the one wearing Ash's hat keeps chasing. Ash and Brock reach a sheer cliff and pull to a stop, and then the Aipom is on him, Ash roaring that he wants his hat back as they scuffle and then pitch over the side. Ash tumbles and falls, grabbing at a nearby tree branch and then catching the arm coming out of Aipom's ass as it falls by him. As he tries to drag it back up, the branch breaks and they both tumble down further, landing hard as Ash's hat falls free. Ash leaps at it despite his multiple broken bones and internal bleeding, but Aipom gets it first and giggles foolishly as Ash sighs that it had to decide NOW that it likes him.
Elsewhere, May, Max and Taylor have lost the chasing Pokémon, but May is still determined to get her ribbons back.
As Aipom grins and holds Ash's hat onto its head, he tells it that it can't believe anything that Team Rocket tells it. Then Brock and Pikachu arrive, having found a way down the cliff that didn't involve lacerations and bone fractures. Ash says goodbye to Aipom and takes off with the others, and Aipom watches him go before running up the cliff.
As Ash and Brock run through the forest, Brock wonders what to do about the giant Slaking, and Ash explains his simplistic (what else!) strategy. Team Rocket must have fooled it into helping them, therefore all they have to do is convince it not to be on their side. As Brock assimilates this arrogantly presumptuous plan, the hat-wearing Aipom meets its fellow Aipom still scrambling over Brock's Pokechow (or their own poop?) and starts jabbering to them.
Back behind the gate, the giant Slaking swallows the last of the giant pile of berries brought to it, and it then lifts Team Rocket up onto its shoulder as Jesse says it is time to go to the Indigo Plateau - apparently their plan is to sell giant piles of Slaking poop at the Grand Festival? May, Max and Taylor rush over the side of the gate and demand the berries and ribbons back, but Jesse says that she can make more use from them, and then Slaking begins approaching, making an imposing sight.
May calls out Combusken which uses Fire Spin, but Slaking blows it away with ease and stomps by them, tearing the gate apart and stomping through as the twerps follow, Ash arriving and cutting it off with a Pikachu Thunderbolt. Taylor tells them Slaking has eaten all the berries, and Ash roars that they're going no further, but Team Rocket reply (watched by Slaking and his righteous man boobs) by....OH!
"Prepare for trouble, so whose going to stop us? You and what army?"
"And make it double, you blokes are barmy!"
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destiny!"
"Wif Meowth dat's me!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Meowth's da name, yowza!"
"Whenever there’s peace in the universe!"
"Team Rocket!"
"Will be dere!"
"To make everything worse!" they finish together.
"WOBBUH-FET!"
"Mime mimemimemime!"
Meowth roars that the mighty Slaking demands Ash's Pikachu, but Ash snaps at him to forget it. So it reaches down for it anyway, and the twerps scatter.... but not fast enough! May is hauled up in the Slaking's hand, Team Rocket saying it is May or Pikachu as it climbs a nearby cliff.... oh my, it's May Wray!
Ash isn't making any kind of decision though, he calls out Swellow which swoops about Slaking like a 1930's era biplane. Slaking tries to grab at it, losing its balance and losing its grip on May, leaving her to fall to her death, except Sceptile leaps to the rescue in true Clint Eastwood fashion!
Swellow uses Aerial Ace to knock Slaking off the mountain, and it plummets and crashes on its back into the ground. May then proves that beauty really shall slay the beast, as she calls out Combusken and has it use Firespin to BURN SLAKING ALIVE!
Brock appears to note the rather immoral attempt at homicide and calls out Marshtomp which uses Water Gun on the burning pile of monkey-flesh, and.... it's "just a robot!"
"Excuse me, you got one?" demands Meowth after hearing the last line uttered by Max, then takes control of the Slaking, following Jesse's order to turn the twerps into tater tots. But then the other Pokémon show up and Ash points out that it is just a robot, not a King! Team Rocket laugh that they built the robot in order to get all of the Pokeberries, turn them into Pokeblock and make a massive killing at the Indigo Plateau, feeling safe inside their giant metal monster. But then the forest Pokémon start flinging.... faeces? No, it's rocks, a pile of which were conveniently located directly in front of where they stopped!. The Aipom scratch at the giant as the robot begins to spark and.... BOOM!
Team Rocket plunge out as the robot falls, then burps out all the berries that were stored inside. Jesse pops out of the resulting piles whining that she can't stand berries, and James snaps at her that there is work to do as the twerps demand the berries - and May's ribbons - back. Jesse snaps that May should grow a few inches before talking to her (plenty of people grow a few inches about both of you, Jesse!) and calls out Seviper, but Combusken uses quick attack to stuns it. A Sky Uppercut follows, smashing the snake back into Jesse, who loses the ribbons which fall into May's hands. Meowth demands that James stop fiddling (!) and fight, so he calls out Cacnea just in time for a needle-filled hug, before ordering it in to deal with the twerps. But Cacnea doesn't get a chance to do much, as Pikachu smashes it with Volt Tackle, knocking it back into Team Rocket and sending them blasting off again!
The forest Pokémon return with Taylor to his house, where Taylor thanks the twerps for saving his business. They still don't understand at all what he's talking about, having never had to earn a living a day in their lives, their interests only briefly intersecting because they wanted May's ribbons back. Taylor wishes May luck in the Grand Festival as they head away, the Aipom waving, the one that "likes" Ash still wearing his hat!
As they walk Ash says he feels weird without his hat.... but then they spot it on a rock in front of them! Ash grabs it and puts it back on, May asking how it got out here, and then they note that underneath it was an apple with a flower next to it!
They head off, as in the trees Aipom watches on with the manic grin of an obsessed stalker. Oh my, something tells me we haven't seen the last of Aipom.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Possession is 9/10ths of the law, and that last 10? Simple creative licensing!"
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