439: What I Did For Love!
Dodgy Synopsis
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443: Oichiban! Haruka Bui Esu Takeshi!
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Today's episode begins with the twerps preparing for yet another contest, this one in Gardenia Town where May will be going for her Fourth Ribbon. She calls out Eevee in preparation, the boys complimenting May and her retarded little Pokémon as it runs around her legs in circles. They are all sure she is going to win, but little does May know that soon one of those boys will soon not be wishing her so well. He'll talk about it always, far into the future, when he regales anyone who will listen to him about....
Brock REALLY should have been the one to read out that title.
Elsewhere a young girl and her Raticate are looking for the sign up desk, and they bump into the twerps who are themselves searching for Eevee, which has stupidly run off. The girl is knocked off her feet when Eevee pops out of the ground beneath her, and after getting back up Brock tells her where she can find the registration desk..... it's in the giant goddamn building to her immediate left.
May asks what Eevee was doing in the ground and it replies by digging back down, then popping back up and knocking over Ash, and Max uses his brilliant two years of homeschooling to figure out that Eevee has learnt Dig. As May congratulates Eevee on successfully learning a move without any guidance from her, a woman rushes up to Brock and declares to his great delight and surprise that he is SOOOOO cute! He is ecstatic, finally after all these years it has happened, an actual girl has..... and then she grabs his Bonsly out of his arms and hugs it, and he collapses in despair.
It turns out that the girl - Yuma - is herself a breeder (snicker), which excites Brock who is glad to meet another breeder (he's been doing all his breeding alone so far). She talks up the difference between Breeders and Coordinators' approaches to Pokémon, and he shows off his other Pokémon and the food he makes them, which she tries and says is perfect. Brock is impressed with her knowledge and she reciprocates by telling him he has talent, and then suggests he enter the Pokémon Contest!
Yes it turns out she isn't just a Breeder but a former Coordinator, and not just any Coordinator, she once won the Grand Festival!
Woah.
Apparently her breeding techniques allowed her to win.....
Hehe.
....but she tells May she can't teach her, she only trains newcomers just starting out. It seems she took one look at May and her skin tight pants and realises this girl was no "amateur". Ash completely misses the point and declares that now May has a new rival, after Brock shocks them all by zooming into the hall to register, then zooms back and "beams" with virginal anticipation.
Meanwhile Jesse is ready to get her first ribbon as well, and has pulled out a box of cheap trinkets for James and Meowth to sell so she can afford more Jessebella costumes. It seems all of the old ones were sold to pay for their latest mechanical robot mishap, and James is shocked to see she has plundered his bottlecap collection (for like the 27th time) to make the fake ribbons and trinkets. She dismisses his shock with a cheap promise to buy a whole heap of bottlecaps "when" she wins.
The contest itself begins with Lillian showing off her crotch (as is her wont) and then introducing the judges, the same three as always.... and as always the third is the local Nurse Joy since they couldn't find anyone any better. Brock says he hasn't felt this nervous for a long time, since it has been awhile since his last official battle (Pewter City Showdown?).
The young girl from earlier calls out Raticate which is ugly, and it uses Hyperfang to tear apart a branch into sawdust, which is impressive but does little to prevent it being so ugly. Brock is impressed, but May points out he is trying to beat the girl, not praise her. Next is May, who calls out Squirtle which impresses with a Rapid Spin headstand, then rolls onto its back and creates whirling circles of sand. Then it finishes with Bubble for a stacked bubble pyramid effect which is then turned into an ice pyramid, and the crowd is very impressed.
More contestants show off, and then in comes a very nervous looking Brock. The crowd cheers when they hear it is his debut, Brock calling out Bonsly which instantly creates a spinning fountain of Fake Tears. The Judges are impressed and Joy wants to give it a big hug, only for Brock to rush up to her and desperately try to hit on her before being dragged away by Lillian. Brock coughs and apologises, and then light glints from his eye and becomes... HOLY SHIT!
Oh my God no wonder he never opens his eyes.... they are the pit of doom!
Brock tosses out a baseball pitch and Bonsly catches it, the ball spinning as the crowd cheers. Ash asks what kind of move it was but Max says it wasn't actually a move, Yuma explaining that a Contest is about showing appeal, not necessarily performing moves. Brock throws up more baseballs and Bonsly uses Flail to juggle them, and the crowd cheers with delight at the cute sight, which they think is alright, on the night! Watching from backstage, May realises that this is going to be tougher than she thought.
Meanwhile... HIPPIES!
Yes its Team Rocket done up like hippies and selling genuine unauthorised souvenirs, including bootleg photographs of Drew; some brooches of Seviper, Mime Jr, Dustox and Chimecho, and a picture of Jesse in a low cut dress.... wait, how much for that last item?
Jesse hears the crowd cheering and grimaces, muttering they should save their voices for her. Inside, the first round has finished and Brock, May and the young girl have all made it through to the next round. The cards are shuffled and brackets shown, and inside May wishes Brock well. The twerps and Yuma walk backstage and Brock rushes up to grab Yuma's hand and tell her he has only made it so far because of her belief in him. She chuckles and then compliments May, who thanks her and then congratulates Brock on doing so well. He tells her he was incredibly nervous, but the longer he went the more confident he felt, and like Bonsly he really got into it when he realised the people watching were enjoying the show.
Yuma then basically shocks the world by asking Brock if he will come and "study" with her when the contest is over, much to the shock of the twerps and Brock himself.
The next round starts, and Brock will be facing the young girl with the ugly Raticate. Only this time instead of using her incredibly, incredibly ugly Pokémon, she'll be using.... ABSOL!
Brock calls out Marshtomp, which dodges Absol's Razor Wing before tripping the awesome looking Pokémon with a Mud Shot as it tries to use Quick Attack. In the crowd, Ash asks Yuma if she wants Brock to train whether he wins or loses, and she says yes! In fact, she says she can't think of anybody better to spend her time with than a great Breeder.
Absol meanwhile has failed to do anything but look cool (which is more than can be said for Raticate), and has been knocked out by Marshtomp's Watergun. Brock wins, and once the other battles are quickly gotten out of the way, the final match is.... Brock versus May! Max says this is weird and asks who he should root for.
So it's Brock vs May, Eevee vs Marshtomp, with the former using Shadowball which Marshtomp survives by using Protect. Marshtomp uses Mudshot but Eevee digs beneath the ground to escape, but it isn't safe! Marshtomp uses its fins like a kind of sonar, impressing the Judges as it senses Eevee's underground movement and smacks it with Water Gun, knocking it down. Marshtomp uses Mud Shot again, splashing mud in Eevee’s face as it tries to dodge, blinding it and leaving it open to Tackle. Eevee tries Shadowball again but it is knocked back by Water Gun and another Tackle. Eevee digs into the ground, but as it emerges it is hit by a prepared Marshtomp with Tackle, and every time Eevee tries to hit Marshtomp by using Dig, the bigger Pokémon is able to dodge aside and tackle it back.
The ground is now dug up in multiple places, and Marshtomp plugs the holes with Mud Shot, creating a muddy quagmire. Eevee tries tackle, dodging Water Gun, landing in the mud and slipping, leaving itself open to another Water Gun. May is worried, as she has been completely ineffectual so far and is lucky to only be on about 50% lost points despite being utterly outclassed and her Pokémon suffering multiple, multiple, multiple attacks from every angle used by a trainer who has completely destroyed her strategy. She looks around at the quagmire and settles on a strategy, and has Eevee jump up onto one of the mud mounds. Marshtomp blasts at Eevee with Water Gun again, but Eevee leaps up off of the mud hill and then runs up the water (because that is how physics works now) and hits Marshtomp with a tackle.... and apparently the Judges were so impressed by Eevee defying all the laws of physics that they knock 50% off of Brock's points!
Marshtomp blasts at the mounds with Water Gun while Eevee uses Shadowball and blasts Marshtomp, then tries Tackle as Brock orders another Mudshot. Eevee manages to hit Marshtomp, then uses Shadowball which blasts into Water Gun and creates a smokey effect as time finally runs out and.... May just barely wins!
Brock congratulates Marshtomp on a good effort for their debut (MAY DEFIED PHYSICS!) and a short time later May is handed the Gardenia ribbon, her fourth contest ribbon. She twirls about and poses with glee, she's finally (maybe) caught up with Harley!
Outside, the reason for Brock's calm acceptance of defeat is clear. He's ready to go "study" with Yuma The Breeder in all kinds of different breeder techniques, styles and positions. But as is his fate, Brock is soundly rejected by a woman who has decided she likes girls better than boys. Yes despite Yuma's earlier claim that she would take Brock "win or lose" it now seems that Molly - the young girl with the ugly Raticate and the awesome Absol - has more to gain from being trained, since Brock obviously knows so much all ready. He is too good, has nothing to learn, so she is going to "train" Molly instead, because it makes sense.
"IT DOES NOT! COME ON!" screams Brock in an absolutely brilliant delivery by his voice actor.
As the two girls head off to all kinds of illegal activities in the privacy of Yuma's home, Ash tries to console Brock with the idea of more contests, but Brock dosn't want contests, he wants romance!
So it seems his contest days are over all ready, though Jesse's are just beginning as in the deep dark of the forest Team Rocket look over the money they have earned from their souvenir sales and Jesse declares she'll soon be awash in Jessebella costumes!
But that isn't the most important thing, no, what's important is that Brock had his hopes and dreams shattered by fickle lust. And the reaction of his friends?
Haha.... oh Brock, you virgin.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Have we got booty for you!" "Training? I want romance, not contests!" |
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