434: Spontaneous Combuskin
Dodgy Synopsis
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438: Pokémon Kontesuto! Yuzuriha Taikai!
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But Sceptile can't pull the moves off anymore, and Ash yells at him to get over it all and do the goddamn moves! Sceptile just stands there forlornly, though, May saying it is still suffering from a broken heart. Poor, dim Ash - who happily waved goodbye to Misty then started crying when Brock went as well - wants Sceptile to just get over "that stuff", and is told off for his unsympathetic behaviour. Told off by who? Why Drew! Yes the young rose carrying Gary-alike is here, much to May's surprise and delight, as a particular part of her body undergoes....
No Gentle Dodgers, I don't know why they spelt it like that either.
Drew tells Ash that he is just giving Sceptile more stress by trying to force it to get over its lost love. Ash grits his teeth and fights the urge to punch the smug little bastard right in his pretty-boy face, while May approaches to ask the REALLY important question, is he the one who sent her that card.... and gets shot down!
With a smug grin and a flick of his fringe, he tells her that this isn't his style, and he is here by pure coincidence, his Pokémon are burned out on Contests and he is taking the opportunity to relax. May is surprised (and seemingly let down as well), but if Drew didn't send the card and rose, then who did?
Elsewhere on the beach, standing out amongst the skimpily dressed girls and guys is Team Rocket, Jesse dressed up in... an evening gown!?! Well why not! She pulls Mime Jr. off of James and tells it that it is going to be in the Contest with her. James, trying to hide his horror at his Bitch Goddess Queen taking his child from him, points out that a Contest is supposed to be a showcase of Coordinator and Pokémon working together, and not an excuse to show off your body in an evening gown.
"If you're going to be a fool, must it involve the children?" sighs James, as Meowth dusts his paws off the whole business.
Back with the twerps, Drew is gone and May is backing to training with Combusken and Munchlax. Munchlax tries a Focus Punch that Combusken dodges, and the fat Pokémon almost takes out a small girl holding a rose before plunging face down deep in the sand. As Ash, Brock and Max try to pull the chubby Pokémon clear, the girl approaches May and introduces herself... she's the one who sent the card and the rose!
The girl - Brianna - explains that she watched May at the Wisteria Contest and sent her the card and rose to cheer her up after losing. Munchlax leaps up and eats the rose, and after a brief scolding, May points out to Briana that she forgot to sign the card and she thought it was Drew who sent it to her. Brianna instantly gets even more embarrassed, apparently she has quite a lot of.... ahem.... respect.... for the young green haired rich kid. May seems amused by this, and offers to take Brianna to meet Drew, who is hanging out poolside hiding his nipples under a towel, much to the delighted embarrassment of Brianna.
"Mr. Drew" is very polite indeed to a starstruck Brianna, who apologises for the confusion she caused over the rose. Drew laughs that this is just May making yet ANOTHER mistake, and she gets her own back by pointing out that it wasn't unreasonable to think of him since he is "Mr. Rose". Drew actually blushes (DREW!) as Roselia laughs and nods at this astute observation, while May stirs shit more by suggesting that Brianna shake "Mr. Drew's" hand. In an aside to Drew she grins that he's done this before, and he grunts back that she talks too much. He heads away, leaving behind at least one quivering-thighed young girl, watched from a nearby balcony by a familiar trio, Team Roc.... oh my, it's Ash, Brock and Max!
"Drew is such a weenie," sighs Max, who hasn't got a clue. Ash doesn't have a clue in a different respect, whereas Brock simply doesn't have a chance.
With Drew gone, Brianna turns to May and suddenly her entire demeanour changes as she growls that she is going to beat May in the Contest! May is understandably taken aback, Brianna accusing her of vying for Drew's....... respect, yeah that's it.... respect.
"Wow, someone's after May again," sighs Max, used to such things by now.
"No wonder," agrees Brock, then quickly explains that he means in regards to a contest scalp, in case any Officer Jenny's might be listening in on their conversation. Ash, meanwhile, has absolutely no clue and takes it all at face value.
The Contest begins, and Lillian introduces the first Coordinator..... Jesse! She runs out (not in slow motion, despite the beach setting) with Mime Jr. and together they hula dance, the obviously NOT heterosexual judges declaring that Mime Jr. is very cute (James getting hearts in his eyes and squealing out at how cute his "baby" is), while the male members of the audience simply smile and sit very still, in case they scare Jesse away.
Next out is May, who uses Munchlax for the first time in the opening round. It lets out Solar Beam instantly, firing the blasts of power around the open air arena. The twerps are surprised, how did it manage to blast off an instant Solar Beam like that without taking time to gather the sunlight? Brock surmises the open roof and bright sun must have allowed Munchlax to steadily absorb the sun over time. Munchlax then follows up with a Metronome, much to Max's disgust, but Drew says that it is a chance that is worth taking if it works. Munchlax finishes Metronome and..... goes to sleep! It used Rest!
Luckily for May, the Judges think this is cute as a button, and May was apparently prepared for this eventuality as she pulls out a pink Pokeblock and throws it high into the air. Munchlax instantly snaps awake and leaps mouth first into the camera, swallowing the Pokeblock and then falling towards the ground, using Focus Punch to slow its descent and land safely, much to the crowd's delight.
Brianna comes out next and uses Surskit, a weird spidery-type fish thing which uses Ice Beam to coat the field in ice, then skate about before leaping high and spinning about, impressing the crowd and the Judges a great deal.
Backstage, May compliments Brianna and says she is a shoe-in for the second round, and Brianna seems to have forgotten her competitive edge in the heat of the moment. She insists that she wasn't that great, certainly not up to May's standard, but as the second round finalists are shown on the screen, they're both in there.... and so is Jesse!
Sitting in the crowd, Max asks Drew what he thinks of May's performance so far, and Drew asks if she means to use Munchlax again. Brock says he thinks that May plans to use Combusken for the second round, and Drew contemptuously dismisses her strategy as being a waste of Munchlax's ability to take advantage of the sunny field, and confidently declares that she has messed up AGAIN.
Back backstage, May is talking about Drew just a little too much for Brianna's liking, who recovers her competitive edge (or at least her paranoia) as she declares what we all know.... that May wants to get it on with Drew! She asks if May really thinks she can take away HER man, while Jesse listens gleefully in the background with great glee as May stammers that she never thought about Drew like that before, blushing furiously. Jesse slides up and giggles that she should wait to win the Contest first, and this is all very cute, she remembers her first love like it was yesterday. Before she can flashback to another continuity defying memory from the land of Jesse's made-up history, May notes that they'll be facing off against each other in the Second Round.
Out on the field, May calls out Combusken and Jesse calls on Mime Jr., much to James horror as he fears his baby getting a beating. Combusken kicks things off with Fire Spin, but Mime Jr. dodges and uses Mimic, blasting a surprised Combusken with its own attack while James calls out to Mime Jr. to be careful and not burn its nose. Combusken tries to recover with a Quick Attack, but Mime Jr. dodges again and starts tickling the startled penis-bird.
Mime Jr. smashes Combusken with another Flamethrower, and May panics for a second before she realises that it is a Fire Attack being used on a Fire Pokémon, and all it is actually doing is charging Combusken up. Inside the flames, Combusken snaps to attention, then leaps through the air and uses Sky Uppercut and HOLY SHIT FIRE PENIS BIRD STRAIGHT UP JUST PUNCHED A BABY IN THE FACE!
James is horrified, May is victorious and Jesse.... well Jesse doesn't seem to think she has lost, as she smiles and tells May that it isn't over yet as she takes Mime Jr. and walks away.... graciously!?!?
Brianna steps up and beats her opponent and then the next as May does the same, leaving the two of them facing off in the final, as we knew they inevitably must. May uses Combusken again, while Brianna uses Vibrava, a kind of Dragonfly-esque Pokémon that uses Screech immediately and disorientates Combusken.
The penis-bird comes back with Firespin, while in the stands Drew reminds the others that a Contest Battle isn't just about using powerful moves, but by using moves that appeal to the Judges and the audience. Vibrava uses Sandtomb, and Combusken finds itself wrapped up in tightly compacted sand, unable to move, unable to use Sky Uppercut to bust free as it loses points and Vibrava is given time to prepare a move. May calls out to Combusken not to give in, and it grits its teeth and then.... it begins to glow brightly as it shatters out of its Sandtomb using a brand new move, Megakick! Vibrava tries Sandtomb again, but Combusken megakicks out and smashes into Vibrava, smashing it into the ground and leaping dramatically clear as May takes out Brianna, takes out the contest and wins her third Contest Ribbon!
Brianna is gracious in defeat, and congratulates May on her deserved victory. May thanks her and wishes her well, and Brianna says she won't tell Drew how she feels until she finally manages to win a Contest. Drew arrives with the other twerps, and when May asks what he thought of her growth as a Coordinator since he saw her last, he flicks the fringe of his hair aside and tells her she got lucky with Combusken learning Mega-Kick. He compliments Brianna who faints with delight into Mat's arms, and reminds May that she has three ribbons now. He laughs when she asks him how many HE has, telling her that he doesn't keep count, he just thought he should remind her what her tally was.
As Brock sulks over a little boy being a smoother player than he'll ever be and Ash just moronically psyches himself up for his next Frontier Battle, May watches Drew('s ass) as he walks away, considering to herself.... how DOES she feel about him?
The sun sets and the twerps have already moved on towards the Battle Palace and Ash's next Frontier Brain match, but Team Rocket remain behind. James and Meowth stare with superstitious fear from out of the bushes at their Bitch Goddess Queen, sure that she must be a fake because she actually seems happy despite losing. Sitting on the beach, Jesse (alongside Mime Jr.) sighs happily as she remembers her own (probably fictional) first love. Has Jesse finally settled down and learned to control her incontrollable rages and insane ranting?
Good Lord no, there's as much a chance of that as there is of Brianna appearing as anything more than a brief cameo in a single episode before disappearing forever, never to be seen again.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Bravo! Feisty AND fruit filled!""Sceptile's shooting blanks!" |
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