432: Harley Rides Again
Dodgy Synopsis
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436: Gonbe no Debyusen! Hari to Shinken Shobu!
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As Munchlax continues to pose, Brock has discovered what many lousy sitcoms and poor quality movies have discovered before him.... chicks love a single Dad! As he holds Bonsly, he is surrounded by pretty girls and gasps in delight at his tiny, lying, asshole-displaying Pokémon infant being a babe magnet. But then another voice calls out, asking to be allowed to take a look as well, and with love in his eyes he sees.....
Yes it's Harley, the delightfully campy, audaciously mincing, completely over the top, stereotypical Queen! Harley saunters up as the local ladies rush off in a panic, working dem hips giiiiirl. He gasps in shrill, bitchy delight to hear May's voice and works it over to her and declares that if she is taking part in the Contest then THIS TIME he will beat her. But she hits him with an amazing comeback, declaring that actually SHE will beat him! Furious that she isn't quivering in her gauche little outfit, he bites his....
....pillow?
NO! Not his pillow, he lifts his....
....shirt?
No no! He lifts a handkerchief and.... bites angrily on it, completely camping it up. Then he shows off that he already has three ribbons as opposed to May's two, and they growl at each other as their faces are superimposed over their Pokémon, creating a new bizarre image that probably had a fetish years before it existed.
Ash is too stupid to be anything but excited at seeing two competitors wanting to beat each other, while Harley giggles that he has to powder his nose and minces away, while May declares again that she will beat him. Brock tells her not to let Harley get under her skin, that's what he wants after all, and Ash and Max tell her to stay cool and she'll wipe the floor with him.
Harley heads through the local marketplace and has his attention attracted by a familiar looking trio. He isn't interested in buying Pokeblock, though, but they tell him they're not offering Pokeblock, they're offering.... information! Who is this mysterious trio? Well why not let a motto tell you!
"Prepare for trouble, is what we'll help you do!"
"And make it lots of fun, too!"
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destiny!"
"Wif Meowth, dat's me!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" says Jesse, sliding up beside Harley who lets out a little squeaking OOH! at being out-performed in the campy stakes.
"To extend our reach to the stars above!" adds James, sliding up on the other side and making Harley OOH! again (not like that!).
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Meowth's da name!"
"Whenever there’s peace in the universe!"
"Team Rocket!"
"Will be dere!"
"To make everything worse!" they finish together.
Oh! That's rather.... oh my!
Anyway....
Oh my.
So they....
Goodness gracious me.
Anyway, they finish introducing themselves and Harley gasps in recognition, they're the ones who are always losing to May's boytoys!
Wobbuffet pops out to happily agree, while Team Rocket desperately try to convince Harley that they can help him to get the better of May in exchange for him helping them to capture Pikachu. In reply, Harley breaks down into hysterics, declaring that they are, to put it bluntly, losers! He laughs and laughs.... and laughs and laughs..... and laughs and laughs and laughs some more! Finally he thanks them for the laughs and struts away, leaving behind a disgruntled Meowth and James.... and an utterly furious Jesse who declares she will have her revenge on the "little prince(ss)".... and she looks serious!
Shortly after the contest itself begins, Vivian and her ridiculous tight short shorts welcoming the crowd back to another Contest. Up in the stands, the twerps are cheering for May, Eevee sitting on Brock's lap and watching its first Contest. Vivian introduces the Judges, as always Mr. Contesta, Sukizo and the useless third wheel Nurse Joy purely there as a sop to the local crowd.
May heads in to put on a show, using Squirtle for this first round. She starts with Rapid-Spin and Bubble, creating a rising spiral of spinning bubbles that the crowd oooh and aaaaah over. Backstage Harley bitches that it isn't bad for a shrimp... but just wait till HE gets out there. May isn't done though, having Squirtle use Ice Beam to finish, turning the bubble whirlwind into a frozen fountain ice sculpture display, greatly impresses the Judges.
The other contestants then get their go, with varying degrees of success, until finally it is Harley's time to shine. Out he comes, bringing out Ariados to show off its skills. But Harley seems to have misjudged today, as he has Ariados create a lair-like web in the hall, then scuttle about on the roof before bungying down and spinning itself into a giant "Scary Face" that leaves everyone unsettled and disturbed.
From a technical standpoint, it is impressive... but it ain't exactly a crowd pleaser. It would take something completely unexpected to break the depressed atmosphere of the crowd now, and....
....and Wobbuffet comes crashing through the ceiling!
Yes, for a moment the entire crowd just sits there stunned at this bizarre turn of events.... and then Wobbuffet hauls itself out of a big hole in the ground and salutes happily to the confused crowd, then gasps in horror as it sees Ariados' "Scary Face" and turns and runs out the door.
Everyone remains as confused as Ash, while Pikachu seems to be the only one who figures that where Wobbuffet is, Team Rocket may not be far behind. The fat little rat chases off after Wobbuffet so fast that it leaves its cheerleader costume behind (yeah, a real "accident" that, I'm sure), and Ash gives chase.
With no other explanation for this bizarre turn of events, the Contest continues on as if a giant blue blob hadn't just crashed through the ceiling and crashed into the stage. Round 1 is over, and the top eight are announced - May, Harley and six dorks just there to make up the numbers, they're not even real people or anything!
Harley insists to May backstage that he is going to squash her, and she squeaks a little laugh that catches him off guard, then happily tells him that she can't wait to see the look on his face when she beats him. She hits him with his own,"Gotta go powder my nose!" line and walks away, and Harley freaks the fuck out right in front of anyone, actually sweating with rage (RAGE SWEAT!) as he dreams of defeating her.
The next round begins, with May against NotGoingtowintthiscontest NumberOne and his Politoed. It's so blatantly obvious that the match up doesn't even last a few seconds, the Politoed tries to Water Gun Munchlax which replies with a Solar Beam that knocks Politoed off of its feet and into the wall in a matter of moments.
Meanwhile outside of the hall, local trainers stare about in confusion as their Pokémon disappear, none of them linking said disappearances to the presence of a giant Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon perched atop the contest hall.
Yes Team Rocket are grabbing Pokémon from the roof with extendable giant red hands (you would if you could, you know it). They heard Wobbuffet's voice suddenly, loudly and happily shouting its own name as it rushes lovingly towards Jesse with arms outstretched because it wuvs her so much. They're surprised to see it, and note that falling out of a hot air balloon from a great height is one of the occupational hazards of popping out of your Pokeball unannounced...
Well that explains that then, but it's surprisingly cold-blooded of Team Rocket (or Jesse at least) to have apparently not been concerned at all for her missing Pokémon. Pikachu shows up followed by Ash, and Team Rocket hurriedly assure him they're only here to help May beat Harley.... and the idiot almost falls for it until even dim old Ash spots the flaw in their story.... they've got a cage full of Pokémon!
Team Rocket insist this is merely their fee, as he can't expect them to be philanthropists, but Ash is having none of it and has Pikachu zap them, and zap them hard.
As Team Rocket are blasted off, Jesse is furious and, as usual, looking for someone else to blame. She hisses that this is all Harley's fault, and then in a complete shift in focus demands of James,"Tell me who's prettier, Harley or me!"
James stares in horror....
....then moans,"Do I have to!?!?!"
Back at the contest, May and Harley have (surprise surprise) reached the Final and are facing off in a Five Minute Contest Battle. May uses Munchlax but Harley uses Octillery, having seen May at work earlier and established a strategy to deal with her. Munchlax tries to use Focus Punch, but Octillery....
Oh wait, no it's Constrict. Munchlax stumbles about swinging punches wildly but Octillery holds on, then blasts Munchlax right in the face with an "Octazooka" and sends Munchlax reeling. He smashes Munchlax further with Sludge Bomb, and then mocks May for being predictable in her focus on offensive moves, but then May hits back with a surprisingly unpredictable move... Metronome!
Munchlax waves its arms back and forth, and Brock notes May is rolling the dice on this one. But at least it isn't a move that can be predictably countered, as Munchlax finishes waving its arms and.... nothing happens! Harley laughs uproariously, May has...
HOLY SHIT!
Yes Octillery just got hit with Thunder! Harley is shocked, gasping out to his "darling" not to "poop out" on him (make your own damn jokes here, Gentle Dodgers), but recovers quickly when he notices that Octillery does look tired and could use a.... heh heh heh, *smirk*.... Rest!
Max thinks this leaves the tentacled Pokémon open to attack, but Brock points out that a Pokémon using Rest will recover its health fully even as it is attacked. This means May has only a small window to pound Octillery's competition points down, so she sends Munchlax in to the attack. It smashes Octillery's resting body about, knocking down Harley's points.... down, down, down, down until it seems she just might have it..... and then Octillery wakes up and BANG!
Yes, Harley has won and gained his fourth badge, while May still remains a two ribbon winner. Cackling and squirming his hips about like crazy, Harley giggles that he loves the sweet smell of victory and taste of success, yummy yummy yummy! May meanwhile appears to accepts the loss with surprising good grace, standing around with the other losers as Harley is awarded his 4th Ribbon and blows kisses dramatically at the audience.
As the day wanes, we find May feeding a happily recovered Munchlax, telling it that it deserves a big meal after a very good debut. The twerps all eagerly encourage her positive attitude, while Harley listens from behind a tree and dismisses May's maturity with a catty,"Nice girls finish last," before strutting away.
As Munchlax passes out, gorged on food, Lillian steps up to congratulate May on a well fought contest, and asks her to attend the next contest, which is on the nearby Chrysanthemum Island and also coming up soon. May is more than happy for another shot at her third ribbon, and Lillian has something else for her.... a letter with a rose! Max giggles that it must be from Drew, and though there is no name on the letter, it seems likely to be from the smug little boy as the letter reads that the writer is looking forward to seeing her at the next contest.
And thus we end, Gentle Dodgers, with a campy full grown man beating a little girl for a pretty ribbon, and the little girl getting an anonymous letter with a rose attached begging her for a rendezvous on an island paradise.
Well, that sounds like either an invitation to an entrapment reality crime show, or that the show is....
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Tell me who's prettier, Harley or me!?!" "Do I have to!?!"
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