430: Queen of the Serpentine
Dodgy Synopsis
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434: Netto Batoru Chubu! VS Chubu Kuin, Azami!
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As May shows Eevee the ocean and then hugs the fluffy little pup and Brock is stuck feeding a pissing, shitting, crying little creature (not Max), Ash rushes to the nearby Battle Pike, which is shaped like a Seviper and impressive.... but not quite as impressive as one might have expected, looking more like a roughly made tent with a Seviper facade.
The doors to the Battle Pike open and Ash is greeted by a young man with blue hair, a midget with fur and a tail and hideously mutated man with a blue complexion, no nose or ears and no hair. But if Ash is taken aback by this odd trio, he gives no sign as he is led inside to confront Frontier Brain Lucy, also known as "Queen Lucy", and inside he meets her, as we're treated to a patented gratuitous ass shot (GAS) more usually given by Team Rocket.
Yes but poor dim Ash shows no recognition of his nemeses (nemesi?) as they hold up a familiar looking auto-erotic asphyxiation chamber and offer to "power up" Pikachu ahead of their battle. As Ash finds none of this familiar, unusual or even slightly suspicious, he happily agrees.
Meanwhile, May has been brought back from the ocean by Max and joined up with Brock. As they prepare to head to the Battle Pike to join Ash, another trio arrives, three young ladies who angrily demand to know which of them is Ash Ketchum. When they explain Ash has already left for the Battle Pike they're furious, declaring that they've come to greet him on behalf of "Queen Lucy" and now Brock and the others will pay for letting Ash miss them! Luckily for the twerps, John Candy saunters in to save the day.
Yes it's Scott, who tells the three to relax as Lucy herself shows up and.... well it's a celebrity twofer today, it's Lucy Liu! Yes, the quite obviously oriental Frontier Brain (as opposed to the usual ambiguous racial makeup of much of the Pokémon cast) tells her "sister" Barbara to stop being so brusque with her guests, and her "sister" fumes angrily. Brock is instantly taken with Lucy (no surprise there) and rushes up to her, grabbing her hand and prematurely (heh!) declaring his love.... and Lucy seems to like it!
Back at the "Battle Pike" Ash has handed Pikachu over and allowed it to be popped into the auto-erotic asphyxiation chamber. They then tell Ash that there's just one more thing he needs to know... and he gets a net dropped on him as they fire off their motto!
"Twerp-netting, what's not to like!?!"
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destiny!"
"Wif Meowth, dat's me!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"YEAH! Meowth's da name!"
"Whenever there’s peace in the universe!"
"Team Rocket!"
"Will be dere!"
"To make everything worse!" they finish together.
"WOBBBBB-BUFFET!"
"Mime Mime!"
Their "Battle Pike" opens to reveal their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon.... and the real Battle Pike behind it! Did nobody at the Battle Pike notice it sitting there in front of them!?! Pikachu can't blast free of the auto-erotic asphyxiation chamber, and Team Rocket think they're home free.... and then "Queen Lucy" arrives to deflate their balloon with her Seviper.
Ash uncertainly says hello to Scott and May introduces him to Queen Lucy, while a furious Jesse can't stand being upstaged and sends out her Seviper to fight... and Lucy's "sister" is amused to see it going up against Lucy's own. As you would expect, Jesse's Seviper is quickly outclassed, with Lucy's using Flamethrower of all things to see Team Rocket blasting off again.... already!
With Team Rocket dispatched, Ash is excited to meet Lucy and tell her he wants to battle her for a Frontier Symbol. Lucy's angry "sister" - Barbara - snaps angrily at him to call her QUEEN Lucy, but Lucy shuts Barbara up immediately. Brock tells Ash he'll have to wait, anyway, as the Battle Pike is closed today (oh... okay?) and it's a pity... but Lucy appears to still be strangely enamoured with Brock's clumsy proclamations of love and declares she SHALL battle Ash, right here and now!
Inside the Battle Pike (in which the battlefield is make up of a small pond surrounded by grassy banks Lucy's trio of supporters - including her overprotective, territorial "sister" Barbara - sit on one side, and Ash's supporters and Scott on the other. Lucy calls out Seviper to start things, and Ash considers his options carefully before finally settling on Donphan and going with the run yelling and hit shit strategy.... and Seviper puts an immediate halt to that!
Ouch!
Halting the Takedown in its tracks using Poison Tail, Donphan tries to press on but can't force back the pleased looking snake. Seviper tries to bite it but is knocked back by a Defence Curl/Rollout combo, and Ash is so pleased he tries to use Rollout again and... Seviper dodges it and smacks it rolling backwards across the Arena. Unfortunately for Lucy, she overhears Brock compliment her style and turns to look at him over in the stands, allowing Ash the time to have Donphan turn its momentum into a stronger Take Down Attack on Seviper. Lucy sees it coming but strangely doesn't do anything, and Scott points out that Lucy has a tendency to allow her Pokémon to take hits to get them in a better position for attack.
Well... that's just horrible!
However Lucy doesn't do that in this case, instead allowing Donphan to get close so it can't dodge as Seviper unleashes Flamethrower and sends it flying backwards in a burning pile of elephant steak.
Ash's strategy now is just to blast a big fucking gun at the snake, telling Donphan to use Hyperbeam. As it gathers in the energy to unleash, however, Seviper darts aside and uses Poison Tail to knock it backwards, then smack the water in the battlefield to block the Hyperbeam and turn the water into a mist that shields it from view as it tries a Flamethrower on Donphan. Donphan tries a Rollout and gets set on fire once more... but now Ash has an idea, the Flamethrower is as good as a target on Seviper despite being hidden from view. Donphan ignores the pain of ITS BURNING FLESH and keeps on rolling like something out a Limp Biscuit video, zooming straight towards the source of the fire. Lucy has Seviper jump clear, but Seviper rolls up the rock in its path and score a flying Rollout Fireball of angry elephant burning flesh and knocks Seviper out.... Ash wins the first match!
Brock declares loudly that he knows Lucy can make a comeback, causing May and Max to ask him whose side he is on. He answers that he supports them both (the "both" he wants to support is better left to the imagination, Gentle Dodgers, which is more than can be said for Lucy's outfit) and Lucy herself seems more than pleased to hear it.
She calls out Milotic next, and Ash shows typical overexuberance and sends Donphan charging in, only to get it knocked out quickly and put them both back to even stevens. Ash seems to have the advantage though as now he knows what Lucy's final Pokémon is, and he makes the surprisingly smart decision to send Pikachu in next. Brock warns them that if Milotic has defensive capabilities then it can negate Pikachu's advantage though, while Scott just watches smugly. Why? Maybe because we quickly learn that apart from the whole Oriental Sex Goddess thing, Lucy is very much like Ash. She doesn't use much in the way of defensive moves, preferring to attack, attack, attack. Instantly Brock is full of shit, declaring that this is BRILLIANT! She follows the same strategy in life as well as love... and Barbara has had enough, screaming at him to shut up from across the Battle Pike, furious at the interest that Brock is showing in her "sister".
So Pikachu and Milotic smash each other around with Iron Tails, Quick Attacks, Twisters, Hydro-pumps and Volt Tackles. But just when the latter seems to have paralyzed Milotic and left it open for a beating, Milotic uses "Facade" to double its attack power and smash Pikachu back! Ash tries to figure out a way to overcome this increased use of power and seems to strike on an idea.....
Yes, Gentle Dodgers, this is Ash's strategy, to have Pikachu beat the shit out of itself and then something something something he will win! Pikachu Thunderbolts itself, and as Milotic uses Twister, Ash has Pikachu leap inside of it where it begins twisting around.... and then use Volt Tackle again. Suddenly the rotating Pikachu is spinning about even faster and zooming down the path opened up for it by Milotic itself, and....
BOOM!
Milotic falls and doesn't get back up, and Ash is declared the winner! Ash has beaten "Queen Lucy" and the Battle Pike, and gained his next Frontier Symbol, the Luck Symbol!
With the battle over and Scott noting that Ash's strategy is improving (he's been reduced to having his Pokémon beat the shit out of themselves goddammit!), the twerps prepare to leave as they go over their route to the Battle Palace. But as they look over the route, Brock makes one last bid to the surprisingly receptive Lucy, asking her to join him on "this journey called life". As she blushes happily though, Max drags Brock away from the ear and perhaps his last chance to get that pesky virginity out of the way.
The twerps head off, and Lucy returns home to her house full of Pokémon, where she nuzzles a couple of squinty eyed ones to her breasts (well that's... odd) and mentions that their eyes remind her of a "certain someone".
But as the episode ends and the twerps sail on towards the Battle Palace, one can't help but wonder about Brock's chances with Lucy. Ash, May and Max discuss their hopes and wishes as they sail away, and Brock stares over the railing and fondly remembers Lucy.
But it was a fool's dream, Brock. Consider Barbara, who talked up the virtues and joy of Lucy, was overly protective of her and territorial around her, and the general "look" of the all female crew that hung out at the Battle Pike. Think about all those things, Gentle Dodgers, and join us in saying....
Sister? My ass!
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