429: Time Warp Heals All Wounds
Dodgy Synopsis
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433: Toki o Koeru Haruka!
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Nurse Joy arrives, having apparently just smoked a fattie and seriously gotten fucked up on that good shit. She drones with stoned delight over the twerps and their Pokémon, ignoring Brock's clumsy come-ons until Bonsly gets upset at the lack of attention and butts him away, giving us all an entirely unwanted close-up look at its asshole. It's a horrible, mindwarping experience of all of us, but you know what they say.....
Bonsly watches Munchlax drinking from a bottle and bursts into tears at the sight of the fatass, so Nurse Joy suggests they go get some munchies oh God she is seriously jonesing for some chips man that window is shiny hehe her family are all horribly inbred.
Ash says he is going to go do some more training with Pikachu and heads off, Squirtle rushing eagerly after them and causing May to abandon her egg with Max and Brock as she gives chase. As the little conga line leaves the Pokémon Centre, they're watched from the trees by Team Rocket, and Jesse has a brand new plan.
James listens to the orders of their Bitch-Goddess-Queen as she suggests (well, orders) that they'll split into three to increase their chances of at least ONE of them succeeding in stealing a Pokémon. James doesn't like the idea of thinking (why should he think? He's pretty!) but Meowth agrees to give it a go.
Meanwhile, May has followed Squirtle into an old rundown section of town, a place that looks like it is peopled by nothing but bums and drug dealers and underage prostitutes. Moving up into a dusty, abandoned old train station and onto the platform, she discovers Squirtle with an old lady who introduces herself as Edna, and tells May she is waiting for the last Steam Train of the day. May is confused; the place doesn't exactly look like it is still active, while the old woman mumbles on about how "he" is on his way on the train. Just then a young girl called Katrina shows up and tells Grandma Edna that it is going to rain and she'll have to get back home. Edna agrees, taking Katrina's umbrella and muttering that it is too late for the train today, and it would have been so much better if it had snowed that day instead of raining. After she leaves, May notices that she has left a framed photograph on the bench. Katrina explains it is a photo of Edna and Katrina's Grandfather Jonathan, back when Edna wasn't a tired old lady with early onset Alzheimer’s but a hot young swinging nurse who probably got up to all manner of illicit, illegal and filthy activities with Jonathan.
Meanwhile, Jesse is watching Ash in the forest, looking forward to the opportunity to grab Pikachu as it practices Volt Tackle. It charges a large rock and smashes through it, much to Ash's delight and Jesse's chagrin. Why? Because Pikachu smashing through the rock also caused debris to smash her in the face, leaving her lying on her back and moaning.... and not in a good way!
James isn't faring much better, as he hangs out by the Pokémon Centre, standing in the rain and peering through the window as Brock and Max chow them on food with the other Pokémon. He lets loose a sneeze, and sad to say that is pretty much all we'll see of Jesse and James till the end of the episode!
What about Meowth? Well Meowth is at the old train station watching May and Katrina as the latter tells the story of her Grandparents. It seems that Jonathan used to care for Pokémon Eggs in the little town, but he wanted to move to the big city and become a proper Doctor. He wanted Edna (his wife, one assumes) to come with him, but she didn't want to leave the town and he couldn't convince her otherwise. So on one rainy day he went to the train station, while at home Edna wondered if she should have told him she was pregnant...
Woah! Pregnant? That means sex! SEEEXXXXX! THEY HAD SEX! Pokémon is sending bad messages about loving relationships between consenting adults to children!
Finally Edna decided she couldn't let him go without knowing, and rushed to find him. But she left too late, and as Jonathan sadly stepped onto the train and it pulled out of the station, Edna slammed into a well dressed gent in spectacles and lost the amulet that held a picture of Jonathan in it. The well dressed gent helped her up, and seemed kind enough.... but don't be fooled, Gentle Dodgers.... it was DEATH! DEATH COME TO CLAIM A SOUL!
Yes, for a year later Edna received word that Jonathan had died in an accident, and she never recovered from the news. May is dismayed to hear such a sad story in an abandoned train station in the bad part of town (next comes the bit where Katrina says if they could just have a LITTLE bit of money.....) and surprisingly... so is the tough as nails Meowth! If it had snowed that night the train might have been delayed, but it rained instead and so he was gone forever. Katrina points out a nearby fir tree where once Volbeat and Illumise would come to fuck (well, okay, courtship dance is the term they use) and all the townspeople would come to watch the depravity. But now the tree has withered, and they no longer come (or cum!) and Edna has become even sadder.
Back at the Pokémon Centre later that night, May's egg begins to glow and Nurse Joy says it is ready to hatch. May is excited, but Nurse Joy is still so stoned that she has forgotten much of her training, and laments the fact there are no Pokémon Paediatricians in town. Max is started to discover that Squirtle is gone and May rushes off to find it. She ends up back at the train station and is surprised to find Meowth! He grunts at her that he has been hanging out staring at the moon (a big shiny bright bright!) thinking about poor old Edna, and May is upset to hear he was eavesdropping.
Well fuck you, little girl, there's no law saying he can't hear a story being freely told!
She asks if he has seen Squirtle, and then hears it let out a happy cry... it has found Edna's missing amulet! Yes, apparently no one EVER found it lying uncovered on the ground between the tracks only a few feet from the platform! May picks it up and..... oh my!
Yes apparently May, Squirtle and Meowth have all travelled back in time!
The steam train that nearly ran them over is the same one that will soon carry Jonathan to his death, and somewhere on that platform is the well dressed gent who is death in disguise, probably licking his chops at the missed chance to get a girl, a Squirtle and a talking Meowth all in one go under the weight of a locomotive. A platform guard roars angrily at May that the railroad tracks are no place to play and they flee from the train station, staring in surprise at the no longer run down area of town, the no longer stripped down old fir tree and.... oh yeah, it's daytime now, not night!
She gasps that they're travelled back in time, taking a "Quantum Leap" in logic that Meowth refuses to believe, claiming she's been watching too many "cartoonys."
But she insists - everything looks so different. She gapes as she sees Jonathan walk by, talking to a ticketeer who is sad to see him going and leaving Edna behind. May decides they have to take the chance to save him from Death, worrying Meowth who just wants to know how they get back to the present. May shouts at him now to think about himself, but when they return to the station they're asked for tickets, and then spotted by the platform guard who angrily hauls them out and tells them to play somewhere else.
As the rain comes down, May remembers Edna muttering that it would have been better if it had snowed instead of rain. They look about, people running from the rain, some of them ridiculously terrified by the falling water.... and May spots a hot air balloon and realises that they might just have a chance. As a young Edna finds Jonathan’s note and rushes for station, they jump onboard the balloon, Meowth complaining that it isn't as cute as the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon but it'll do. They climb high into the rain and then Squirtle uses Ice Beam, blasting the rainclouds as Meowth shouts that mother nature won't mind just let it.... let it.....
LET IT SNOW!
The train is bought to a halt before it can leave the station, as Edna rushes onto the stadium and zooms by a startled and frustrated looking well dressed gent..... Death has been denied this day! And what is the source of frustration and anger? It is the visual confirmation of Edna and Jonathan standing together as Edna tells Jonathan she is pregnant... and this is Death's last chance, will Jonathan be horrified that she is trying to tie him to the podunk town with a baby? Will he throw her onto the tracks and back the train over her?
Yes Death is denied, standing impotent but somehow familiar.... this Death looks the same as the distinguished Gentleman who traded with Ash way back on the St. Anne.... shortly before the ship was sunk and many lives were surely lost! It IS Death! But May has denied him, not just the death of Jonathan but apparently the death of the train station and commerce in that section of the town as well! The rebirth is marked by the Volbeat and Illumise returning for their annual Pokémon Orgy, showcasing new life. Death's last chance comes as Edna's old, batter amulet sparkles and she guesses that Edna's emotions caused the time travelling (a concept Meowth shrugs and says makes sense to him).... and Death will have his day! The amulet shines with energy and they pull another Quantum Leap complete with an Oh Boy moment as she, Squirtle and Meowth have to once again dodge an incoming train.
But they manage to avoid Death's cruel designs yet again (but not a bizarre choice of song) as they scramble onto the platform. It seems they've returned to the present.... but wait.... the trains are running? The station is in use and the town is no longer run down? Does that mean they're still in the past? Apparently not, as the rest of the twerps show up and tell May they've been looking for her, her egg is about to hatch!
Yes the egg is about to hatch back in the present, where some things have changed but Nurse Joy is still stoned off her gourd and unable to give adequate medical service. Luckily, there IS someone in town who can.... two someones in fact! To May's surprise, Katrina shows up with Edna..... and Jonathan! Yes the young man who was dead yesterday is an old man who is alive today! They introduce themselves to May, who can't understand why Edna and Katrina don't recognise her, and then everyone crowds around the egg as Meowth watches happily from the window, giggling to himself that they "messed with the time-space continuum and stuff!" as the egg hatches and.... it's an Eevee!
You know, Jonathan and Edna really didn't do anything but stand there and watch it "hatch"... Nurse joy really is useless!
Jesse and James arrive (at last!) and ask Meowth what he is doing, and when they try to kick up some enthusiasm for kidnapping Pikachu... Meowth chuckles and walks away. James asks if his breath stinks, but Meowth replies that he's feeling all warm and fuzzy and they're not going to blow it.
That night the Pokémon Orgy is apparently still an ongoing thing in this "corrected" timeline, and the twerps stand and watch the depravity along with Jonathan, Edna, Katrina and Eevee. But what about Meowth?
....the leap home.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "No fair... I didn't know I was going to have to think!" "HEY! DON'T WALK AWAY WHEN I'M GETTIN' SENSITIVE!"
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