425: Tactics Theatrics
Dodgy Synopsis
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429: Batoru Domu! Hono to Mizu no Fyujon!
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How's that for a start to an episode, Gentle Dodgers!
Ash has arrived at his new Battle Frontier location - The Battle Dome - only to find he is more than expected! There is a massive press presence and crowds of people everywhere, and they all want to talk to Ash! Seeing him coming down the road with the other twerps, the press surround the startled little boy and begin peppering him with questions, asking him about his plans, his tactics and how he feels about reporters who ask lots of questions. John Candy bursts through the circle of press vultures as part of his triumphant cameo series as "Scott" and tells them all questions will be answered at the Press Conference.
Press Conference!?! Oh yes, you see The Battle Dome, it's all about the....
Inside, Ash answers questions from the Reporters, enjoying all the attention and explaining what his tactics will be..... hit stuff till it falls over! The reporters hang on his every word and Ash gets off on their adulation, until he discovers they are only interested in him by proxy, as competition to their hero - Tucker! However, when Ash comments that he doesn't know who Tucker is, he really loses the crowd!
Who is Tucker? Why Tucker is this town's Battle Dome Champion, and also a real showman..... but more Siegfried than Sinatra. As Scott explains who Tucker is to Ash - the star to Ash's "supporting actor", we find the man himself in full gear, having his hair treated by his new (and very familiar looking) hair stylists while his mid-riff exposed Assistant Victor (Roy to his Siegfried?) pops in to check on him ahead of the battle with Ash. Jesse, James and Meowth, having finished their work for Tucker inside, go to work for him out amongst the crowd in a slightly different and less prestigious role.... they sell snacks!
Inside the arena, the twerps and Scott are given excellent box seating far above the rest of the larger than normal crowd, and look down as Ash is introduced with a spectacular video package that the WWE would be proud of. Ash's accomplishments are talked up (his victory in the Orange Islands) and his less admirable accomplishments glossed over (he "took part" in the Indigo, Johto and Hoenn Leagues) before they announce that he is always one of those listed as one of the top young talents of modern times!
That's all very impressive, but it isn't what the crowd has come to see. After Ash is introduced, the crowd goes wild as Tucker swoops in on wires dressed in an amazingly campy set of tights, girls screaming with lust as their inner thighs go all a-quiver and a delighted May gasps to Max that their Dad could learn a thing or two from Tucker. They consider their Gary Cole looking father dressed as Tucker for a moment, and decide maybe it would be better not to travel down that path.
With the competitors introduced, the rules of the Battle Dome are declared. The battle will be a simultaneous two-on-two match, with victory declared when both of one Trainer's Pokémon can no longer battle. Tucker shows his hand, calling out Arcanine and Swampert as his two Pokémon, while Victor offers Ash a chance to use ANY of his Pokémon, as a transfer machine lifts up behind him to give him the opportunity to call ANYONE in. Ash considers his options, while Brock and Scott warn May and Max that just because Ash is aware of what Tucker is using doesn't give him the advantage. Ash decides to go with what he's already got, and calls out Corphish and Swellow.
But Ash soon discovers that while Tucker is flashy and gaudy, he's also EXTREMELY talented and a master strategist. He uses both Arcanine and Swampert together, cancelling out their weaknesses and increasing their strengths, the two combining to put a hurting on Corphish and Swellow both. When Corphish tries to hit Arcanine, it gets smacked over by Swampert, and when Swellow tries to hone in for the attack, it gets blocked and smacked back itself. Both Pokémon are completely dominated as the adoring crowd cheers for their hero and the twerps gape in astonishment at Ash floundering like a fish out of water. Ash tries to go on the offensive as Tucker plays to the crowd by dramatically calling on Ash to show him his power. Ash tries to outmanoeuvre and outspeed Arcanine by having Swellow his Aerial Ace.... but Arcanine uses it too and outspeeds the surprised Scottish bird, then has Swampert dive over the skidding Arcanine and bash over Corphish.
Scott tells the twerps that Tucker's battling style has always been to goad his opponents into making their biggest, toughest moves and then countering them. It's possible to beat him, but it requires flexibility, and nothing is quite as flexible as a dolled up drama queen on stage performing for a crowd! Scott doesn't doubt Ash's flexibility (ewwww) but says his strategy leaves a little to be desired.... this particular Frontier Symbol isn't called the Tactics Symbol because Tucker and Victor wear tacky clothes after all!
Ash puts up a good effort and manages to avoid attacks, but he keeps making the same mistake. He is fighting a simultaneous two-on-two battle but trying to concentrate on one Pokémon at a time. Every time he attacks Arcanine, Swampert protects it, and the other way around, and the best he can manage is a stand-off as Tucker takes the advantage. he special moves he uses - like Swellow's Double Team - are nullified and thrown back at him - and though Tucker compliments Ash on his aggressive nature and offensive strategy, it isn't proving effective. May gasps that this is like watching a Contest Battle, as Tucker transitions from a Flamethrower to a Fire Blast to break down Double Team before Tucker orders Swampert to form a giant flowing Water Vortex. Ash takes the chance to attack Swampert as it prepares the attack, but Arcanine is still there to protect it and faster than Swellow. He finally figures out to try and get around Arcanine as it is busy with Swellow, but before Corphish can get to it, the Water Vortex combines with Fire Blast and leaves the two Pokémon in dire straits - much to Team Rocket's delight as they enjoy the sight of Ash getting his ass handed to him by doing what a million hentai artists do to them every day.... and put stuff into their mouths!
Tucker cries out with a dramatic flourish that Ash's (pitiful, one dimensional) attacks have driven him to hit out with his most dramatic and powerful moves, but now it is over! The Water/Fire Fusion and his constant bellowing has surely done for Corphish and Swellow, and Victor asks Ash if his Pokémon are able to continue to fight. It's a rhetorical question surely, because they've just been hit with the big guns and knocked down and out without any possibi-
Also Corphish is a jerk!
They leap up as Arcanine and Swampert surround them, blasting Water Gun and Flamethrower at them. Corphish blasts to either side with Bubble and manages to negate both, kicking up a lot of steam. Ash FINALLY shows some of that flexibility in strategy that Scott said he would need as he realises the key to victory might be to work the Pokémon together as a team... but that can also be used against them. He orders another Quick Attack on Swampert and once again Arcanine uses Extreme Speed to cut it off.... but this time Swellow uses Double Team to disappear as Arcanine and Swampert prepare to strike... and ram into each other instead!
Tucker is impressed and goes back to Fire Blast once more, and Ash has Corphish jump onto Swellow's back and use Bubble Beam to smash the Fire Blast and kick up a fog around the entire Battle Dome interior.
Tucker is momentarily alarmed as he lets his dramatic facade slip, realising that this 10 year old boy he tricked his fans into thinking was a challenge might actually be one! But his fear disappears as Ash orders another Quick Attack from Swellow with Corphish on its back, smirking over the "quaint" notion of coming from the front - he's always enjoyed it from behind more! He orders Swampert and Arcanine to Intercept the attack.... but Swellow dips underneath their move to intercept and both of Tucker's Pokémon are left exposed and......
They get knocked THE FUCK OUT!
Ash is ecstatic, Tucker's fans are horrified, and Tucker himself is absolutely gobsmacked.... Ash just knocked BOTH of his Pokémon out.... simultaneously!
Haha look at that little jerk ruining all those lives!
Tucker congratulates Ash on his tactical brilliance (and General Patton rolls over in his grave) while Team Rocket watch with astonishment and declare that they must take a leaf out of Ash's book and start using tactics as well. A fat girl asks for some refreshments and they gleefully move as one to make her an offer, declaring it a great tactical move!
Meanwhile - as Corphish and Swellow stare in astonishment at Tucker's crotch - the Frontier Brain congratulates Ash again and convinces his saddened crowd to cheer for the twerp, then walks away. Ash calls out to him that he forgot to give him the Tactics Symbol, but Tucker forgot nothing, he's an entertainer to the end. Ash finds the Symbol on the top of his cap, and cheers in delight.... he's just won another Battle Frontier Symbol!
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