424: On Olden Pond
Dodgy Synopsis
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428: Hakuryu no Mizumi!
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As she giggles over these, Max blanches in embarrassment and Brock cooks like a good Momma - Ash is training for his next Battle Frontier match, trying to get Pikachu to once again hit a Volt Tackle. But it can't quite seem to pull it off, and May suspects he is pushing too hard instead of taking the time to relax after May's Contest Victory and Ash's Battle Frontier win.... perhaps fishing is the answer? A chance to sit back, relax, enjoy the nice weather and maybe capture some Water Pokémon? It's time for the twerps to be....
Unfortunately the reality does not meet their expectations, as they arrive at the pond only to find it is deserted and the water is a sickly green. They head towards the local boathouse, watched from underwater by a shadowy figure. Max spots a sign that reads it is fine to take fishing rods and fish.... and being enthusiastic freeloaders they do just that!
Brock tells Ash that the most important part of fishing is relaxing, and so Ash becomes utterly determined that he WILL relax, dammit! He'll relax like nobody has ever relaxed before! He'll relax and relax and...... he relaxes so much that he doses off! Max snaps him back to waking. Suddenly Ash gets a tug on his line, and the rest of the twerps help him as he pulls at the strong catch on the other end. He shouts out that it's huge and May remembers the advice her perverted uncle gave her one drunken Christmas and tells him frantically to remain calm. May thrusts her crotch against Ash's ass, Max grinds up against the back of her thighs and Brock just tries to get involved at the back in any way he can as they drag the catch to the surface and up onto the pier and.... it's a Crawdaunt!
May checks it out with her Pokedex, which tells her that Crawdaunt tend to scare away other Pokémon in the waters that it makes its home, which may explain why the pond sucks so much. Since Crawdaunt is the evolved form of Corphish, Ash can't think of a better Pokémon to use in a battle than the small, weaker, pre-evolved version of Crawdaunt... his Corphish!
Oh Ash.
Crawdaunt is IMMEDIATELY enraged by the presence of a weaker version of itself (or anything at all, really) and attacks. Amazing, the recently Frontier Symbol winning Ash decides the best strategy is to try to emulate Crawdaunt's moves, shocked when Corphish turns out to be weaker. Corphish is smacked around, and the Crawdaunt roars with the fury of the jerk it is and mocks the twerps, waggling the fishing rods with eyes like dinner plates, not even knowing what it is doing or what it wants or even where it is, just jerkin' off like crazy.
GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!
It snaps the rods but then a girl calls out and catches its attention. It dives into the water and swims away as she approaches, tall with a slim waist and.... well, that's all Brock needs to know! She introduces herself as Tiffany and he declares that is all he needs to know... and all he'll get, as he is dragged away by Max. Ash asks what is going on and Tiffany explains that she runs the boathouse on the pond, and that the place is usually cleaner and prettier to look at, or at least it was until recently. She tells about a visit from a mysterious corporation - Saridakis - which appears to be for all intents and purposes the Mafia, and the front man (a Lex Luthor looking motherfucker) explained to her very clearly that the lake was going to be shut down and replaced with a Luxury Day Spa. They told her to get lost but she refused, telling THEM to get lost (wooooooooaahhhhh!) and not long after, the Crawdaunt appeared and scared away all the Water Pokémon.
Ash insists that he'll save her lake though, because he has a plan! A plan that cannot fail! He will fight that Crawdaunt with.... Corphish! The... Pokémon that is smaller and weaker than Crawdaunt and... has already been beaten up by it.....
Corphish agrees, of course, because it's a mad jerk that doesn't even know what day it is. An old woman has different ideas however, rising up menacingly behind the twerps and scowling at them all, as old women must. This is Tiffany's Grandmother, complaining that she couldn't sleep the day away with all this talking. She eyes up Corphish and Ash wonders if they can walk the walk.
They split up to find Crawdaunt in order to convince it (beat the shit out of it) to leave the lake and allow it to revitalise itself. Brock somehow convincing everyone that the best idea is for him to ride alone in the boat with Tiffany, while Ash, Corphish and Pikachu look along one bank and May, Max and Squirtle along another. May thinks they might have found something when Squirtle gets their attention... until it turns out that Squirtle just thinks that a flower on the shore is pretty :)
Tiffany spots Crawdaunt moving down an inlet and Brock has Marshtomp fetch the others, and they move after Crawdaunt only to discover that it is working with the head of the mysterious mafia-like organisation, and that the organisation itself is employing the services of three VERY familiar design consultants!
Mr. Saridakis - That being the name of the Lex Luthor looking motherfucker running the operation - seems happy enough to see his Crawdaunt and gives it a heaping meal of Pokémon Food. The twerps take all this in, and then May notices three others along with Saridakis and his mafia-associates.... and they look suspiciously familiar.
Saridakis wants to know what designs they've come up with after all this time spent inspecting the lake. Jesse (for so it is, Gentle Dodgers) declares that her associate cannot be rushed, for he is a true Rrr-teeeeeeest! (WE KNEW IT!) and needs to take his time. Meowth ("disguised" in a little Hitler-tache and sunglasses agrees) and James.... demands more food.
The twerps burst out of the bushes and angrily confront Saridakis who oddly seems like less Lex Luthor and more an oddly befuddled Dad. He insists that Crawdaunt isn't acting under his orders but rather has a mind of his own and he has been feeding it all this food to "calm it down". Ash demands that he bog off, and Saridakis - shifting back into true Mafia manner - makes her an offer that can't be refused. His Crawdaunt will face Ash's Corphish tomorrow at the lake, and if Ash wins then he'll leave along with Crawdaunt. But if he wins, then Tiffany will sell him the lake!
Tiffany agrees despite Ash's reservations, and Saridakis grunts that finally the filthy lake will be gone! Then shifting from Mafia mode to confused Dad mode again, he tells the story of how in his childhood he was a fisherboy who fell into the water and passed out as a large pair of bright eyes appeared in the darkest depths of the water. He woke up on the shore alive and well, and ever since, he has hated the lake and wanted it gone.
How... how does he think he got out of the lake?
Back at the lake, Granny (Miss Galea) watches Ash training with Corphish and Pikachu. They clash Crabhammer and Volt Tackle and Ash enthusiastically ells them they were both great... and Miss Galea tells them they'll never win that way. She calls out Vaporeon and challenges Ash to a match... and of course he's more than happy to do that!
He sends in Corphish with Crabhammer to begin, but Vaporeon leaps into the lake and runs along the water as Corphish tries to chase it. Using Acid Armour to slip into the water, Corphish misses it and can't see because the water is - as Mr. Saridakis said - filthy. Using Quick Attack, Vaporeon slams Corphish through the water and into some lakeweed while Ash tries to figure out what happened. Tiffany explains that this section of the lake is full of watergrass (it really is a filthy lake) and Brock is amazed by the genius of Miss Galea's tactics - that being that she is completely familiar with the landscape of the battlefield and Ash isn't. Using Hydro Pump she has Vaporeon knock out Corphish, kicking his ass. She tells Ash he can't match power against power but adapt to the situation.
So.... uhhh.... why the hell doesn't she fight Saridakis then?
The next day Saridakis arrives at the boathouse confident in an easy victory. Ash once again starts off with Crabhammer and Crawdaunt does the same.... but this time the moves seem equal. It seems that Corphish makes up for strength with guts (well that doesn't make a lick of sense) but guts don't help its Bubblebeam as Crawdaunt begins to pound through it. Ash sends Corphish into the lake and Crawdaunt follows, but Ash took his lesson from Miss Galea well and is using the environment to get the upper hand on the powerful Crawdaunt. Using Harden it resists a Vice Grip and smashes the bigger Pokémon with Crabhammer to slam it into a rock. Saridakis insists it get right up.... but the staggered Pokémon is grabbed by a metal hand and everyone twists around to see..... ED-209!
Wait no, it's not Robocop 4: Robocopper, it's Team Rocket!
"Prepare for trouble, we don't cackle, we emote!" laughs Jesse as Miss Galea demands to know who is doing that cackling."And make it double while we rock your boat!!"
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destiny!"
"Wif Meowth dat's me!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"HA! Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Meowth's da name!"
"Wherever there’s peace in the universe!"
"Team Rocket!"
"Will be dere!"
"To make everything worse!" they finish together.
"WOBBBBBB-UFFET!"
"Mime Mime!"
The other hand of the Mean Green Stealing Machine grabs Pikachu with the other hand and then... they just clear take off!
Ash is shocked, then turns to see Tiffany, Brock, May and Max already in a speedboat that they apparently sauntered over to while Team Rocket were doing their motto. Ash jumps in and they follow, joined by Saridakis in another boat as he begs them to help rescue his poor Crawdaunt, offending them at the nerve of a bad guy who apparently cares for his Pokémon.
The Water Pokémon use a variety of moves to attack the flying ship but it darts aside easily, well worth the money Team Rocket didn't have that they spent on it. At Squirtle's insistence it is thrown by Corphish and uses Rapidspin to smack into the back of the flying bot, but it quickly rights itself as Team Rocket giggle that everything is okay. So somehow the twerps get the idea to use Water Gun to catch Squirtle instead of sending it flying off into the distance and Ash comes up with another idiot savant battling concept that makes no goddamn sense.... have Squirtle Rapid Spin in place before being hit with Bubble and sent blasting into the Robot, knocking it down..... which causes a whole new problem!
The Mean Green Stealing Machine crashes into the water and sends Team rocket blasting off again.... and the twerps are washed ashore by the wave from the crash.... where is Saridakis?
Why he's sinking to his death just like in his childhood! Instead of fighting the sinking despite being fully aware of what is happening to him, Saridakis just lets himself fall towards the bottom of the lake. He thinks to himself about how this is just like his childhood when he fell into the water was going to drown... but just like his childhood he is again mysteriously rescued... but this time is fully cognizant of what is happening. The Dragonair that legend says lives deep in the centre of the lake swims to his aid, assisted by Miss Galea as well. As they two support him and lift him towards the surface, Saridakis recovers his long repressed memories of childhood and realises that this is how he was saved all those years ago.
Brought to the surface and onto the shore, Saridakis asks why Miss Galea saved him all those years ago and she seems confused - because he was drowning!
Well... duh!
He asks why she never mentioned it before and she tells him there wasn't much to say.... although you know it might have helped prevent him wasting his life on hatred and prevented him trying to destroy the business that has been in your family for generations!
She smirks that she only saved him in the first place because she loves the lake so much (what a humanitarian) and walks away, and Dragonair slips away into the water as Saridakis chuckles that this is twice the lake has saved him now. But Ash wants to focus on the important thing, the pressing matter..... what about their battle!?!
Oh Ash.
Saridakis chuckles (he's like 95% Confused Dad/5% Mafia Boss at this point) and tells him that it doesn't matter. He knows now that it was wrong to hate this filthy lake run by a barely competent young girl and her senile grandmother, and claims that "Leisure Land" is finished and done.
A call presumably from Dragonair calls all of the Water Pokémon back to the lake, and they settle into the now blue for some reason water and repopulate it. Now fisherman can return and drag them forcibly out of the water and beat them to near unconsciousness before indoctrinating them into a life of slavery once more! Hooray!
So all in all, everything worked out for the best for everyone..... as long as the fueltanks in that crashed and sunken robot don't split open and pollute the lake for decades to come!
Sweet dreams, everybody!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "It's huge!" "Don't forget to stay calm!" "He's an rrr-teeest, and an rrr-teeest just cannot be rushed!""Pikachu!"  "Hooray! You're good with names!"
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