423: Weekend Warrior
Dodgy Synopsis
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427: Raibaru wa Sarariman!?
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Yeah, give it a certificate of participation as well and explain that there CAN be no Dodgeball without someone to go out of the contest first...... poor loser Squirtle. But no, May is looking to use Combusken for the battle portion of her contest today, a contest that will see her in battle with a.....
Inside the Contest Hall, a middle-aged woman and her young son wander the halls past the other trainers, looking for somebody. May runs up asking if they've seen her Squirtle, but they can't help even when she shows them how big it is using her hands (women always underestimate size that way, anyway!). The other twerps arrive as the mother and son leave, and May tells them she is worried because she can't find Squirtle. Brock smirks, not because he's a callous fuck, but because he has prepared a little surprise for her....
Oh God.
May mutters long-sufferingly that Squirtle really took her earlier comments to heart and promises it that it will always be her number one cutie, and then they head off for the Contest start.
Elsewhere in town Team Rocket spots the contest flier, but to James and Meowth's shock, Jesse isn't interested. She mutters that they're going to be making money from a Pokeblock Stand and demands that they come with her to find berries..... besides, what kind of crowd are they going to get in a rinky-dink town like this anyway?
Woman has her priorities right!
Lillian kicks things off in her ridiculously slutty outfit, introducing all of the Pokémon Judges including as always the useless Nurse Joy making up the numbers. Next is the Coordinators, and they all come out to wave to the rinky-dink crowd.... except for one, who hasn't arrived on stage yet! She looks about and gives a call as the audience laughs, but there is still no sign of "Jeremy", so Lillian says he'll have to forfe..... but wait! Here comes Jeremy now, striding defiantly..... well stumbling defiant..... well, stumbling.....
Here comes a fat middle-aged man in a suit with a briefcase who can't shut up and moans about his client keeping him later than expected and OH GOD this middle age malaise!
He at least has the decency to laugh along with the crowd when he realises what an idiot he is being. Catching his breath, he rushes to join the others and trips over, leaving the other Coordinators laughing.... including one who apparently takes his fashion sense from Dodgemaster Tim!
A series of Coordinators have their goes as they make up the numbers before May and whatever named character of the day just automatically beat them all. Having gotten that technicality out of the way, they can all go back to not existing, because now it's May turn!
Having already been successfully guilted into using it, May begins with Squirtle for the performance aspect of the show. It leaps out and spins about while using Ice-Beam, then fires up Bubble to create multiple small bubbles and one large one. Squirtle jumps onto the giant bubble, blasts the smaller ones with Ice-Beam, then bounces off of the big bubble and uses Ice-Beam to freeze it as it shatters, creating a delightful ice-sculpture that it poses on, blushing furiously as the crowd cheers and the Judges compliment May heavily.
The Judges aren't the only ones impressed, the crowd is too and - of course - the twerps. Next up is Jeremy, and the crowd laughs again as they wait to see what ridiculous display the suited middle-management man can pull out and.......
ROCK!
Yes Jeremy is fat. Jeremy is middle-aged. But Jeremy is also rocking the fuck out on his guitar as he sends out Butterfree to create a magnificent psychedelic display to wow the crowd. Everyone is shocked, but not as much as his wife and son (the two from earlier) who rush down and demand he get off of the stage and stop making a fool of himself and, by proxy, them! Jeremy is horrified, the old lady and the rugrat come to kill his buzz? Heavy, man!
Jeremy gives an impassioned plea to his wife that this is NOT kid's stuff as she insists, and that he needs the release of performing to break the monotony of working day in, day out to make money to cover the cost of his horrible family. Jeremy's son is horrified about how ridiculous he looks and the wife just seems desperate to get him off stage before he somehow gets embarrassed by something happening like a hysterical wife running on stage and airing their dirty linen in public or something. Jeremy gives an impassioned speech about how being on stage makes him feel and how he deserves this after working so hard for so long to support them, and May tries to reason with the woman who quite correctly snaps at May that this has nothing to do with her. Jeremy's son whispers,"Daddy....?" in stunned surprise, the crowd gives a Jeremy a standing ovation and he agrees to stick around and finish what he started.
Team Rocket, meanwhile, are in the forest, hunting - without success - for berries.
The contest continues, with a shocking and stunning turn of events as May and Jeremy both somehow, someway manage to beat their nameless opponents to progress through to the Final Four! May and Combusken make short work of their opponent and their Exeggutor, while Jeremy uses a massive Venusaur to utterly destroy a Vileplume. His son is very impressed, and runs outside to find his Mother, begging her to stay and watch her husband get it on with a 10 year old girl.
Yeah, what is it with wives who don't want to go along with that?
He can't believe that his Dad used to rock out, or that he even played in a band. She remembers fondly back to the days when Jeremy WAS a musician - a Giovanni looking motherfucker too! - and she a young groupie willing to debase herself in all sorts of ways just for a chance to get backstage.
She tells him about how her and young Jeremyvanni would walk together and he'd tell her about his dramatic and sexy life while considering all the various ways he could violate her young, willing body.
Remembering their youthful wild excess fondly, she finally realises that she has been unfair to deny the stage to Jeremy, and agrees to return to the Contest Hall to watch the final between Jeremy and May!
The Contest Battle kicks off with Combusken versus Venusaur. The massive Pokémon using Razor Leaf to smash away Combusken's Fire Spin, much to everyone's shock.... this is one powerful Venusaur! May finds herself on the backfoot, losing points quickly as Jeremy wails on his guitar and orders more attacks on Combusken, which is knocked back again and again.
But like a good cock, it keeps on rising...... so Jeremy uses the one thing he knows no 10 year Japanese Jailbait can defeat.....
TENTACLES!
Brock - who has read plenty of books that tell him what is going to happen next - roars at May to get the hell out of there! But she stands her ground as Combusken discovers a cock can't stand up to tentacles. As Brock explains that Frenzy Plant (the tentacles) is a hell of a powerful move, Ash sits watching all this with interest - his idiot savant talent for battling looking past the obvious phallic symbolism and picking out the opening. He shouts out to May (surely that is cheating!?!) that Frenzy Plant has tired Venusaur out. May realises the idiot is right and tells Combusken to peck at the knackered Venusaur, and Jeremy wails on his guitar as he tries to get Venusaur to muster the energy for one more Frenzy Plant. May orders a Fire Spin which Venusaur blocks, and Frenzy Plant hits and knocks Combusken down to the barest sliver of points and only seconds left to go. Combusken pushes through the pain and leaves over the next wave of tentacles, smashing Venusaur in the face with a Sky Uppercut which knocks Venusaur over and..... out!
Brock realises that Venusaur's Frenzy Plant left its guard down and open for a hard attack.... a fact that the idiot Ash grasped automatically thank you very much. Presented with the ribbon, May celebrates and then heads outside to have a final word with Jeremy. But he's encountered his family first, who are selfishly taking up his time instead of the people he never met before today.
Jeremy's son is impressed, but perhaps more importantly than that is that he has reminded his wife that he is still somewhat like the Giovanni-looking rocking motherfucker he used to be.... and maybe he's gonna be a motherfucker tonight too? She does promise something "special" for the night, then qualifies that by saying she meant something special for Butterfree and Venusaur.
Well geez, lady, whatever floats your boat.
And what of Team Rocket? Seen so little in this episode, we find them at the end still searching for berries as James and Meowth comment on how delightfully quiet it is now that the contest has ended.... the very contest they were going to sell Pokeblocks at!
But Jesse is still determined, and when she spots a yellow spike sticking out of a bush she grabs it and tugs on it. The spike turns out to be attached to something living though, and whereas many people might enjoy having Jesse tug at a certain protuberance of their bodies, Beedrill is not one of them!
Team Rocket turn and run from the angry Beedrills, and give us an appropriate closing line for the episode,"We're blasting off again!"
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