413: Caterpie's Big Dilemma
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415: Shinka! Sono Shinpi to Kiseki!
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The String Shot ties them all up as Ash shouts out their innocence, but the boy is convinced they're the ones who broke into the lab and has Caterpie use MORE String Shot. The twerps are caught and no mistake, the only one who could get them out of this is Batman!
Or.... his cheap Mexican, non-union equivalent!
Yes, some gaunt, wild-haired freakshot in a labcoat and a Gliger flying pack swoops in and declares that the truth will set them free. With an Alakazam TV sitting on top of his head, he proclaims he can use Future Sight and..... turns the television on and shows them the image of a limousine driver before declaring they've come to wish him luck before leaving on their jet to go to their private island.
Oh.... so he's completely fucking insane then. Good to know.
Furious that his device didn't work after they goggle at the stupidity of his prediction, Doctor Gordon demands to know who they are and discovers to his dismay that they're "just a bunch of kids who got lost."
Untying them and taking them to the lab (or the other way around, maybe), the boy apologises to the twerps and we learn that the whole forest is apparently part of the Lab.
Wait... the WHOLE forest? And yet again we learn the Pokemon World doesn't give a fuck about putting up fences or warning signs but gets pissed off over trespassing.
Introductions are made all around, the boy's name is Xander, Caterpie is his Pokemon and best friend (haha what a lame-o!) and Doctor Gordon is his teacher. May is a little dubious about Gordon's credentials, but he comes rushing in to declare that he's made plenty of amazing things to help make the world easier for humans and Pokemon both. Hitting a button, a big dome rises up out of the middle of the swimming pool and opens to reveal his inventions.
Why.... why does he keep them in a dome inside a swimming pool?
They're ridiculous and pointless inventions - A Magnemite Massage Chair and a Jigglypuff Microphone and.... the others appear to be masks that even Gordon doesn't know the purpose for. He tries to show off the Jigglypuff microphone and puts himself to sleep, crashing out on the floor as Xander desperately tries to wake him out of his humiliation.
Speaking of humiliation... Team Rocket! Watching through binoculars up on a hill overlooking the lab, James wants to get hold of the blueprints for the plans and Meowth wants to give them to the Boss in yet another ridiculous, crazy fever-dream of being accepted into the warm embrace of Giovanni's lap. Jesse is concerned though, recalling that last night they tried to break into the lab and were humiliated by Caterpie... and Jesse doesn't want to suffer the indignity of another night's humiliation ending with white stringy stuff getting all over her clothes.
Hey, some people make a living out of that type of thing!
James and Meowth are sure this won't happen again though, because while the twerps are distracting them they can sneak in.
Outside the lab, Gordon and Xander are setting the twerps on the road to Saffron City when Caterpie suddenly panics and rushes back into the lab. Xander figures that it has detected the thieves come back and rushes after it, followed by Gordon and (of course) the twerps.
Finding Team Rocket in Gordon's study stealing blueprints, he demands to know who they are and.... they don't even do their motto! Oh come on, you have to do the motto! That's what it's for!
Caterpie attacks and Jesse sends in Seviper while Meowth leaps to the window and James grabs an orange briefcase that Gordon shouts out is the most important invention he has ever completed in his life.
Nice work, genius! They'll be sure to put it back now!
James takes off with it, but Caterpie snags it with String Shot. Seviper grabs the briefcase in its jaws but Pikachu tackles it and the briefcase drops to the floor, opening and knocking several blue balls....
Well I guess Jesse HAS been rushing about in that mini-skirt for years now!
....which roll across the floor. Caterpie spots one and beams happily, believing it to be candy, and gobbles on up - and immediately begins to glow and grow!
Looming over a terrified Team Rocket, James tries tremblingly to engage it in dialogue and instead it headbutts them and sends them blasting off again, dropping the stolen blueprints. But this leaves a problem, xander has a giant Caterpie now, and Brock correctly guesses that the blue balls were Mystery Candy - or rather, Gordon's new improved Mystery Candy "Complete", which includes everything that could possibly improve the health of a Pokemon. Unfortunately he has no idea how long it will remain that size or if the effects are permanent.
Suddenly it glows again and begins growing even larger, and May shouts out to Xander to recall Caterpie to its Pokeball. But it turns out that when he mentioned they were best buddies earlier he actually meant it - he's never caught it, it's just his buddy he plays with! Growing larger and larger, it smashes through the roof and then out of the entire lab, slithering out past the horrified twerps and down the road towards the nearby town and - in particular it seems - the Radio Tower, the only object more of a phallic symbol than itself.
In town the "Holy Fuck a Giant Caterpillar!" Alarm goes off (and the media said it was a waste of money!) and people start cheesing it as Caterpie wriggles its way down the city streets, slightly panicked but seemingly following the stringent evacuation plan put in by the City Council after one night of really good weed and a marathon of Godzilla movies.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE POKEMON DOES NOT EVOLVE!?! SKITTY, SABLEYE OR NINCADA!?! THE ANSWER IS SABLEYE BECAUSE ONCE YOU GOT DIAMONDS IN YOUR EYES THE ONLY WAY IS DOWN!
Meanwhile.... things are getting homoerotic!
Wearing a goddamn Machoke Costume, Dr. Gordon hauls a cart full of twerps behind him as he runs into the city, explaining he built the suit based on his research of Machokes and disgusting fetishistic sub-societies - and it has increased his strength 10 times!
Brock is worried about poor Caterpie, saying it doesn't want to hurt anyone.... which is.... why it.... rushed directly.... into a city full of people.....
Caterpie arrives at the foot of the phallic Radio Tower and Gordon collapses, moaning that the downside of increasing his strength 10 fold is that it makes you 10 times as tired. Xander tries to convince Caterpie to return with him to the lab, but the homoerotic tendencies of a phallic Pokemon whose best friend is a small boy has been magnified by its new size apparently as it clambers up the Radio Tower. But it seems the tower doesn't swing that way, as half of it collapses, and in its misery the giant Caterpie.... evolves into a giant Metapod!
Officer Jenny has arrived belatedly on the scene as Caterpie evolves atop the half of the Radio Tower still standing, and Gordon admits miserably that this is one of his inventions gone wrong. Brock once again tries to give noble meaning to Caterpie's bizarre intentions, claiming that it left the remote forest location and entered a city full of thousands of people and ripped a giant radio tower in two purely so it could safely evolve into a Metapod without putting anyone at risk and then later evolve into a Butterfree and fly away safely.
Watching from a distance in another part of the city, Jesse is furious that they had the means to make giant Pokemon and lost it. Meowth is whispering in quiet awe over what the Boss would make of this (he might actually be happy!) when a happy Wobbuffet reveals that it patiently picked up three of the Mystery Candy Completes earlier. Delighted, Team Rocket openly confront Jenny, Gordon, Xander and the twerps, their plan now to grab Gordon himself and give HIM to the Boss.
That's... that's actually not a bad idea!
May snaps that she thought they'd gotten rid of them, and now we FINALLY get the motto!
"So make it double and then run along!"
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destinies!"
"MEOWTH DAT'S ME!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Meowth again!"
"Anywhere there's peace in the universe!" proclaims Jesse.
"Team Rocket!" adds James.
"Will be dere!" throws in Meowth.
"To make everything worse!" they all finish together.
"WOBBBBBB-BUH!"
"CHIIIIME!"
Meowth grabs Gordon with a mechanical claw, and Cacnea holds off Pikachu with Pin Missile long enough for Jesse to call out Dustox and throw it the Mystery Candy Completes.... and one of them falls into Cacnea's mouth too!
Uh oh, that ain't good!
But when James calls out in delight to his "Big Cacnea" it turns and stares at him with love in its eyes, then dives on him!
Uh oh, that ain't good!
"Thanks... I love you too," mutters James, hugged into the concrete itself by the delighted, loving Pokemon.
Jesse hauls Gordon onto Dustox, joined by Meowth and (eventually) James, and the giant Pokemon takes off into the sky with the twerps seemingly helpless to do anything (Thunderbolt the giant ass Dustox you morons!).... till the giant Metapod evolves into a giant Butterfree!
Oh God no, a regular Butterfree is bad enough!
Xander and Ash climb onto Butterfree's back and take off after Team Rocket, who are enjoying their flight on Dustox's back.... but not as much as Gordon who won't shut up about how pleasant this all is.
Also.... uhh.... where has Giant Cacnea gone? Did James return it to its Pokeball? Does that even work? Because it's just disappeared.
A giant mid-air battle ensues, Dustox firing giant Poison Stings which crash into the ground below as Butterfree dodges, almost hitting Officer Jenny's jeep as she drives Brock, May and Max after the flying giants.
Pikachu finally tries Thunderbolt but Dustox is able to avoid it since apparently a much larger than normal target is far more difficult to hit.... wait.... what? Instead, it fires at the power lines running across the ground just ahead of them, and Dustox has to wildly duck under the power lines to avoid being electrocuted, forcing it to slow down.
Why didn't it just fly above them?
This enables Butterfree to hit Dustox with Supersonic, Confusing it (and Wobbuffet and Jesse and James too) and.... then it returns to its normal size!
Team Rocket plummet through the air, Jesse quite rightly complaining that Butterfree's Mystery Candy Complete hasn't worn off yet, and Gordon explains that the difference could be a metabolic one and he'll look into it further... ignoring that his big brilliant lunatic mind is about to be smashed open on the ground below.
Luckily for him, Butterfree swoops in and saves him, but allows Team Rocket to fall to their death - though luckily there happens to be a lake beneath them.
There's always a lake!
Officer Jenny and the others show up in her jeep and she tries to arrest them, and when Jesse tries to resist by using Dustox to attack, Pikachu Thunderbolts them from the back of the giant Butterfree which then uses Whirlwind to to send Team Rocket blasting off again.
....so technically they just helped Team Rocket to escape....?
As the sun sets, the giant Butterfree finally returns to a normal size and makes that horrible fucking,"BREEEEEE BREEEEE!" noise we all hate so much without exception every single one of us. Xander and Butterfree are reunited (well not quite, there were never un-united so technically.... ahhh forget it) and Officer Jenny warns Gordon not to make any more of the Mystery Candy Complete (who is going to pay for all the damage to the town?). He explains that the first batch's creation was a mistake anyway so he doesn't think he could do it again, then troublingly begins ranting about how he'll never give up and keep trying to create these bizarre things while everyone laughs like he hasn't all but vowed to half-destroy the town again!
Butterfree returns to its normal size and Xander hugs the horrible BREEEEEEing thing and asks it if it wants to train with him and day go on a journey with him when he is older.... is that a euphemism for sex?
Not understanding any of this, Ash responds on the most basic level and offers to beat the shit out of them at some point in the future, and then the twerps finally head off towards Saffron City once more, as the narrator points out that size doesn't matter.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I cannot suffer through another humiliation like last night!" |
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