411: Sitting Psyduck
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413: Kodakku no Yuutsu!
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Today finds.... PSYDUCK!
A terrified little Psyduck with a red neckerchief is running for its life through tall grass chased by shadowy, red-eyed Pokémon! Oh my!?! What's going on, sit down and tell us your tale of woe, lil' Psyduck - Please tell us.....
Meanwhile the twerps have settled down on a rock by a small stream, preparing a meal, collecting water and letting Pikachu blast the fuck out of Donphan. As they work away, Psyduck comes bursting out of the grass on the small cliff just above them and lands ass first into the campfire. Screeching in pain, it leaps into the water to put out its flaming ass (there's a cream for that), while the twerps stare on in surprise. Just then a Machop, Machoke and Machamp come bursting out of the grass and chase the terrified Psyduck to a dead-end as the twerps rush after to see what is going on. Finding it menacing Psyduck, they demand the Pokémon leave Psyduck alone but they respond by applying some kind of bizarre pinch on the fat little stylish duck. Phanpy rushes in to attack and Machop Karate Chops it away, but Ash thinks his recently hatched baby elephant should still fight these three highly training Fighting Pokémon and sends it back in to smack them around, helped in part by the increasing effectiveness of Roll-out.
But the humiliation of taking a beating from a baby elephant rankles the three Pokémon which try to attack Phanpy together, only for Pikachu to Thunderbolt them all and send them cheesing it. Collecting up Psyduck, they ask it to come back with them to their camp, where it appears to have become quite friendly with Phanpy, hugging the little elephant and tossing it up in the air with surprising strength for someone with a neck bandanna.
Brock offers it some food and it gets the most amazing look of,"WHAT THE LIVING CHRIST IS THAT!?!?" on its face, staring at it as up in the trees, similarly staring is..... Team Rocket!
And Meowth has decided that The Boss desperately needs that Psyduck!
Happily he tells them to imagine the Boss in his undershirt ("Do I have to?" moans James) as he hammers away on some DIY project when he hammers his thumb and shouts out in pain. Just then the blank stare of Psyduck and its empty mind washes away the pain and he..... that doesn't make any goddamn sense! And for once the others aren't going along with it (or James at least!) and Meowth has to scrabble for a different take on things. Okay... imagine the Boss pacing barefoot in his office (It's Casual Friday, according to Meowth when a sceptical James asks why) when he stubs his foot. He shouts in pain, but then Psyduck waddles in and he stares into its uncomprehending eyes and empty mind and the pain melts away as h..... no that still doesn't make sense! James is really resistant to the patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasies today, so Meowth tries a different tack. The Boss is eating ice cream too fast and gets an ice-cream headache (Jesse finally chimes in, noting she hates these too) and as Giovanni moans in pain, Psyduck waddles in and staring into its empty head he feels the pain disappear and declares that it is all thanks to Meowth and Friends who will get a big promotion and a payrise!
And THAT, Jesse and James can both believe in!
Phanpy, Psyduck and Pikachu run happily along in front of the twerps as they continue on towards Saffron, the twerps wondering where Psyduck's trainer is. Just then they hear a call and turn to see a blue haired young man and a red haired young woman offering the latest attraction - Grass Sledding!
The twerps have never heard of it and the man and woman look momentarily taken aback before insisting that this is because it is brand new and look there's a wonderful steep hill right behind them they can try - and "Jamal" will show them how it is done!
Jamal doesn't look best pleased about this!
Hopping onto the sled he is pushed down by the woman and lets out a squeal of fright that turns into a half-hearted "Wa....hoooo?" as tears stream down his face and he moans that it is "too much fun!"
Brock is unconvinced, it sounded more like panic to him, but Max and Ash both agree that they've done far more dangerous things than this in the past and Psyduck is excited to take the chance. They all hop on and go sledding down the hill, laughing with delight as they whip down across the grass..... and Jamal staggers back up and notes to the woman who by a remarkable coincidence is called Jesse that their plan is working. She hits a button and bumpers pop out of the hill, causing the twerps to ricochet off of them like pinballs (in fact the bumpers even have points written on the top!) as Psyduck and Phanpy zip through and into a net held by a talking Meowth.
Wow, Jamal and this other woman named Jesse have a talking Meowth as well! What a coincidence!
The twerps have crashed into a "goal" net where they lie groaning in pain, while Jamal and Jesse grassboard athletically down the hill towards them.
"Prepare for trouble on the slope!!" says Jesse.
"And make it double, there is no hope!" adds Jamal.
Wow! They even have a motto just like Team Rocket!
"An evil as old as the galaxy!""Sent here to fulfil our destiny!"
"MEOWTH! DAT'S ME!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"And James."
"And.... Meowth!"
"Anywhere there's peace in the universe!" proclaims Jesse.
"Team Rocket!" adds Jamal.
"Will be dere!" throws in Meowth.
"To make everything worse!" they all finish together.
"WOBBUFFET!"
"CHIIIIME!"
Departing in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon as the twerps work free of the goal and try to chase them, Team Rocket look free and clear until the Machop, Machoke and Machamp trio return and leap up to grab the bottom of the basket and bring it back down. Team Rocket leap out to fight and while James is getting his face pinned by Cacnea, Machop sneaks up and frees Phanpy and Psyduck, and then the other two send Team Rocket blasting off.... again!
Psyduck is freed and Phanpy tries to protect it from the three Fighting Types, and the twerps demand that they leave it alone.... but then a carriage arrives (an honest to God carriage!) and a dignified young lady steps out and gasps with delight to see a less than impressed Psyduck, hugging it as it sighs in resignation.
Soon the twerps are inside the Ponyta-drawn carriage as the young lady introduces herself as Emily, Psyduck's Trainer. Apparently this is the third time it has run away and she has to send her super-powered Pokémon after it. May asks why it runs away and she sadly admits that she doesn't know, and they arrive at her palatial estate which she calls her humble abode, telling them that her Psyduck has wanted for nothing in life. Noting that Psyduck is dirty, she tells it in a cutesy voice that she bets it can't wait to have a bath, and the twerps watch as it is carried kicking and screaming to the bath as Emily giggles that it just loooooves being pampered.
Thrown into the bathtub, we see Emily in there too (!!!) as she giggles that they take baths together (no wonder it ran away, that's illegal, woman!) with the twerps RIGHT THERE and that it loves being sprayed in the eyes with perfume and sitting at the table beside her having to eat rich food. It won't eat though and she thinks it just isn't hungry, but the twerps tell her how it was chowing down on food just a few hours earlier. Brock keeps his eye on it, his breeder (snicker) instincts kicking in.
Soon Psyduck is standing inside against the window staring miserably out as Ash and May take their Pokémon through the training process. Emily can't understand what they're doing or what the appeal is, telling Max that she would never let her poor little Psyduck suffer the indignity of such rough treatment.
This woman sent three Pokémon thugs to beat up her Psyduck and break its legs so it couldn't run away again!
Brock tries to explain that training with a Pokémon helps build a unity between Pokémon and Trainer, dismissing her insistence that they DO have a union. He tells her that it feels like its life is empty and lonely despite the fact she gives it every luxury it could possibly (but doesn't!) desire.
Outside, Squirtle panics when it sees Phanpy rolling towards it through the air, but Psyduck comes out of nowhere to knock it to the side, landing on it and running to balance as Phanpy rolls into Ash and knocks him into the pond. Delighted, Psyduck splashes him in the face and he returns the favour, and an excited Squirtle blasts him in the face with water as they all laugh and Emily watches in surprise, saying she hasn't seen it so happy in a long time. Brock tells her most Pokémon prefer a life of running around outside having fun (well duh!) to being trapped inside and miserable (double duh!).
Just then though a cloud of smoke falls over Ash and the others, Team Rocket have returned with a Chimecho Face Balloon and a very shortened motto. Grabbing Psyduck with a mechanical arm, they try to pull it up to them as Ash calls out Grovyle and sends it up to cut the arm with Leafblade and then bring down the Balloon with Bullet Seed. Emily catches Psyduck and crashes into the ground as the balloon does the same, James and Meowth getting onto Jesse's hair much to her chagrin.
A dirty and dusty Emily asks Psyduck if it is okay and it bursts out laughing at seeing the prim and proper lady all filthied up. Meanwhile, Phanpy has insisted on taking the place of Grovyle to fight Team Rocket, hitting Seviper with a Roll-Out. Cacnea, meanwhile, has performed a flanking manoeuvre and is shaking its first grumpily at Psyduck, which wants to fight.... but Emily declares that she won't have it and Psyduck rather surprisingly GROWLS at her!
Cacnea uses Sandstorm and Max tells Emily to think about moves that Psyduck can use, and she mentions vaguely remembering EVERY ATTACK IT CAN DO! Max suggests attacks and Emily follows through, using first a Focus Punch and then a Fury Swipes move. Meowth is enraged to see Fury Swipes used when he is around and rushes in for a hilarious angry slapfight between the two while Emily desperately asks Max what to do next and he tells her to come up with something herself! Her strategy is to call out names of attacks and Psyduck follows through, smacking the Pokémon around and sending Team Rocket blasting off again.... again!
A delighted Emily and Psyduck hug happily and the twerps point out rather smugly that their freeloading nomadic drifting unfocused lifestyle is far superior than a life free from want or desire where every luxury and wish is fulfilled instantly. Emily seems to agree, and is delighted that Psyduck has its appetite "back", with the suggestion that she and Psyduck will now take part in more battles in order to keep it happy and increase the bond between them. So they say their goodbyes to the twerps and wave happily as they head on their way, leaving just one question unanswered.
Are they still going to take baths together?
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Why isn't he wearing shoes in his office?" "IT'S CASUAL FRIDAY!"
"I could be badly hurt" "I'm aware of that, but it's a chance I'm willing to take!"
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