408: Hooked On Onyx
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410: Iwaku no Oukoku!
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Shortly later, we find Ash slumped down on some rocks for support, having walked his way into exhaustion like a toddler who suddenly realises it has used up all of its energy and crashes and burns. Brock tells Max to stay behind and feed the Pokémon while Mudkip leads them to water, and rather wisely Ash (!) of all people leaves Pikachu behind to REALLY be in charge.
Moments later we watch Ash sliding miserably down a rocky wall as May grunts that they should have left him behind instead of Max. Mudkip has spotted a river though, and leads them on towards the water.
Meanwhile, Max has laid out the food for all of the Pokémon and settles down behind a rock to get a nap in the sun. Unfortunately, this leaves Munchlax free to scoff down all the food while Pikachu is trying to organise the others. Horrified, Corphish tries to blast Munchlax which promptly falls asleep, causing the blast to hit Squirtle, which had been in tears over the loss of food. While Pikachu tries desperately to wake up Max, the Pokémon get locked into a knockdown drag out battle that smashes some rocks and wakes up some disgruntled Geodude. Instantly a Roll-Out battle between them and Phanpy begins, and as Max is finally woken by the melee, Munchlax is sent blasting off through the sky, Squirtle and Phanpy disappear, while Corphish and Pikachu cheese it, chased by several rolling Geodudes.
The other twerps return with water and discover that leaving a tiny, tired little boy in charge of their magic power monsters was a bad idea, as now three of them are missing. Brock promptly volunteers to take a nap and ignore the whole situation by suggesting he remain behind in case the Pokémon return, while the others head out with Mudkip and try and find the missing Pokémon.
Still, they've gone missing relatively nearby in a mostly barren landscape, so how much trouble can they get into?
Oh.
With a quiet "Ga-roar?" the mighty Onyx quizzically asks the gathered Geodude what is up. They gabble their own names at it, eavesdropped on by Team Rocket and a helpfully translating Meowth, who explains that they ran into problems with a group of Pokémon including a Pikachu. Jesse has a plan, they can convince the Onyx that the twerps and their Pokémon are bad guys and get them to do all the work of capturing Pikachu for them. They approach and lay it on thick, praising the mightiness of the Onyx (causing it to stiffen with pleasure!) and then explaining that the Pikachu belongs to a group of evil twerps, lead by an evil twerp named Ash! Onyx takes this all in, and forms a mental picture in its head of this Ash.
Convincing Onyx that the twerps are planning to capture all of the Pokémon, it becomes furious and agrees to help Team Rocket to capture the twerps and their Pokémon, especially the most vicious underling - Pikachu!
And with a Ga-Roar, it sends its army of Golem and Geodudes after the twerps.
Meanwhile Ash, May and Max have left the mountains and come into the forest. Ash is assuring Max that there is no way they can miss the Pokémon, which of course means they promptly walk right past Pikachu and Corphish walking the other way. Meanwhile, Squirtle and Phanpy have found themselves in a thick field of flowers and spot a HUGE flower towering up like a tree. Squirtle approaches and a Beedrill emerges from it and comes at Squirtle, but Phanpy jumps in the way and protects it, then turns to see the baby-ish Squirtle has already forgotten the danger and gone back to picking the pretty flowers. Just then the Beedrill returns.... with more Beedrill in tow!
AGAIN with the Beedrill!
They rush away and barrel past a happily waving Pikachu and Corphish, who spot the Beedrill coming and quickly do away with them, Pikachu letting off a MASSIVE blast of electricity that surely must have caught everyone's attention.
Meanwhile, a bored Brock is tired of finally getting some alone time to "exorcise his demons" and is considering heading off to look (after washing your hands, please!) when a rumbling catches his attention and Geodudes come bursting out of the ground.
And then a cage falls out of the sky! Brock has been captured by Team Rocket!
Pikachu, Corphish, Squirtle and Phanpy meanwhile have located apple cores dropping out of an apple tree, and look up to spot Munchlax who waves happily to them as it continues eating.... and then a thumping, rumbling causes it to flail wildly and fall out of the tree. Graveler burst out of the ground with Golem backing them up, and give chase to the Pokémon who flee in absolute panic as the Rock Pokémon gradually close in on them.
They reach a small river with a log floating in the middle, and leap onto it and get powered down the current by a delightedly jerkish Corphish that doesn't look where it is going and crashes them into the water and sends them flying down a waterfall and into a far stronger current.
The Pokémon are washed ashore and can barely stand as they are surrounded by Rock Pokémon, and then a cage is dropped over them - they've been captured by Team Rocket!
James encourages them to fight and all of the Pokémon let rip with a massively impressive burst of power that just knocks them out instead, as James reveals that the cage was designed to absorb their powers (the fuck? its bars with open space between them!).
As the two cages are taken to King Onyx, Ash, May and Max are lead by Mudkip to a cliffside. Ash climbs up and spots the cages and King Onyx, then hears a panicked cry from Max and Max and turns to see them captured in a cage. Captured... by Team Rocket!
"Make it double with a really big wow!"
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destinies!"
"Don't fuhget meeee!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"Of course James."
"And Meowth are our names! HA!"
"Anywhere there's peace in the universe!" proclaims Jesse.
"Team Rocket!" adds James.
"Will be dere!" throws in Meowth.
"To make everything worse!" they all finish together.
"WOBBUFFET!"
"CHIIIIME!"
Team Rocket asks King Onyx to do the right thing and give over the Pokémon to them while making sure that the twerps never bother anyone again.
Are they saying.... kill them?
Ash rushes in and tells Onyx that Team Rocket are lying to them and that THEY are the bad guys, and he would never do anything to hurt or abuse Pokémon... how can they prove it? In its wisdom, King Onyx declares that the little boy fight the giant King Rock Snake!
Sounds fair!
Meowth continues to translate, King Onyx is telling Ash that if he is really a good person, he won't hesitate to fight for his friends and free them.... so if he can beat King Onyx, then it will show him that Team Rocket are the ones who should be locked up!
Ash of course is eager for any excuse to a battle, and hilariously says that he will prove he is no threat to Onyx by fighting it. But how can he fight such a massive and impressive monster?
With Clint Eastwood of course!
Ash obviously has the type advantage but Max worries over the sheer size and power of King Onyx. It opens with an Iron Tail but Grovyle which Dodges and tries a Quick Attack... and hurts itself ramming against the thick rocky body. It leaps out of the cliffside it was bounced into and fires Bullet Seed into its face, dodging an attempt to bind it and blast it straight in the face with more Bullet Seed, then slashing open the King's Face with Leafblade and knocking it THE FUCK OUT!
Yet another disappointing performance from an impressively sized Pokémon!
Team Rocket are seeing their dreams die, and instead of just cheesing it like they should, they decide to just grab Pikachu and try and escape with it. Jesse doesn't want to leave the others behind, but Meowth brightly suggests that they steal Onyx too!
Oh you stupid, stupid Team Rocket.
Meowth has a plan, by the way, a massive robot they just happened to have lying around underground that can carry massive rocks. They toss it directly at Onyx but Grovyle leaps up and slashes through the rock with Leaf Blade, and King Onyx has his Pokémon army smash open the cages and then set up lines of barricades between the twerps and the robot. The twerps open mock Team Rocket's lousy plan and robot.... and Meowth reveals they're not entirely stupid by blasting water out of the robot's cannons and knocking out the entire Rock Army!
Mechanical arms grab Pikachu and Onyx (and NOT the knocked out army!) and prepare to lift off in the vacantly pleased Chimecho Balloon, but as Meowth prematurely celebrates Jesse and James point out that they're not actually going anywhere.... the recovered Rock Army is holding King Onyx in place!
The twerps Pokémon help blast the arms and get Pikachu and their King free, and Team Rocket are promptly sent blasting off again with a few well placed lousy puns for their troubles.
And then? Well the twerps continue on their journey, but this time in a less tiring fashion as King Onyx and its rocky retinue take them out of the mountains. The boys all take the opportunity to straddle the monstrous snake and pretend they're "bigger men" than they really are, while May is careful to keep her legs together.
Her parents would be so proud!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "That's not only a mean and diabolical plan, it's also a lazy one!" |
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