400: A Judgment Brawl
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402: Soshite... Make Rarenai Tatakai wa Tsuduku!
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But Ash, Morrison and Tyson aren't amongst those losers, and Ash is the first of them to get his chance to throw down in a proper tournament match against the ice-cold Katie from Lilycove. Unfortunately for Ash, she is kicking his ass all over the rock-type arena and things are looking bad. Don't make us hate you, Ash, we'll pass judgment on you for your failure, you have to come back fighting! It's....
So the battle has been going for 14 minutes (yes Gentle Dodgers, I finally figured out that the timer on the screen is supposed to represent how long the battle has been going for, because I'm a retard!) and Ash is three Pokémon down so far while Katie has only lost two.
After a five minute intermission, the battlefield has changed to a water one. Ash uses Corphish and Katie goes with Golduck, and things kick off immediately with Fury Swipes against Crabhammer, and the two just batter the shit out of each other in midair with Corphish seemingly getting the upper hand. Golduck goes for a Hydro Pump and Corphish leaps into the air to dodge it and get in close.... and Golduck uses Confusion to catch it in midair and smash it down into one of the floating platforms. The splash clears to reveal Corphish is staggering about in place on the platform, confused, not hearing or understanding Ash's commands to use Harden. It staggers into the water and.... BURSTS OUT THE OTHER SIDE WITH AN ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED LOOK OF JERKISH GLEE ON IT'S FACE AND DECKS GOLDUCK WITH AN UPPERCUT K.O CRABHAMMER!
I love Corphish so much!
Katie is shocked.... ASH IS SHOCKED.... but Golduck isn't down yet, and rushes in to attack... and Corphish grabs it by the hand and shakes it in jerkish delight, spins Golduck over its head and tosses it through the air, following up with Bubblebeam to crash it against the wall and knock it out!
AHAHAHAHA! Ash wins through the power of a total jerk!
Venomoth is called out next and it becomes clear that Corphish is actually still Confused and isn't listening to Ash or understanding him, it's just being a jerk. Katie doesn't know how to react to complete chaos, and has Venomoth use Super Sonic which just makes Corphish happier!
Ash recalls Corphish (awwww) and sends out his drunken Scottish bird - Swellow - since hey why not, drunken Scotsman are always good for a fight! It dodges Stun Spore and uses Peck to drill into Venomoth's belly, so it uses Disable to block Swellow using Peck.... but Ash has more moves in stock and uses Aerial Ace to slam it down towards the water. Dodging Supersonic easily, it hits a Quick Attack and knocks Venomoth into the water, knocking it out and leaving Katie miserable and upset, her ice-cold demeanour wrecked by Ash's reckless stupidity and chaotic use of luck.
Katie makes a surprising choice next by calling out Scizor. It's a Bug Type so less effective against a Flying Type, but it is also a kickass martial artist with giant claws for hands, which is always a bonus, as well as being a Steel Type too. It charges right for Swellow, which isn't one to back down from a fight and goes at it as well, the two battering the fuck out of each other
The two Quick Attacks collide again and again before backing off for a moment, enthralling the crowd including Meowth selling snacks up in the stands. Jesse snaps at him and Meowth to get back to work, making them moan that she sounds more and more like their (new) Boss all the time. She turns to a young man, tells him he looks emaciated, then lifts the snack tray up to reveal her chest and tells him that everything he desires can be found right there.
The man snaps at her to get out of the way and, being Jesse, she takes the time to argue with him and James and Meowth try to defuse the situation and they end up selling snacks big time! Because they're actually good at it!
Scizor uses Double Team and then Metal Claw, so Swellow uses Double Team right back and then Aerial Ace! The world is full of Scizors and Swellows! Scizor reunites into one and uses Hidden Power to blast out the Swellows, and Swellow uses Quick Attack to speed up the Aerial Ace and score a direct shot... and Scizor is out!
Katie, rapidly losing control of the match she had such a grip on earlier, calls out her sixth Pokémon - Walrein. The massive tusked walrus-like Pokémon lets out a roar but Ash is understandably confident now that he is back on the front foot.... until Swellow's Quick Attack fails to make quite the impact he was hoping for.
Swellow bounces off and gets clipped by an Ice-Beam attack on one wing, and when it comes down with Peck Attack Walrein dives into the water to escape and comes out to blast Swellow in the back with Ice Beam, knocking it out of the battlefield and out unconscious on the ground!
Ash is down to only two Pokémon!
He calls out Corphish, which is over its Confusion but looks exhausted. Walrein leaps up for Bodyslam, smashing through Bubblebeam and landing on top of Corphish and knocking it clean out.
Ash is down to his last Pokémon and has lost control of the match.... suddenly things aren't looking so good anymore!
HEY TRAINERS!! WHICH OF THESE POKEMON IS NOT A GROUND TYPE!?! GROUDON, NOSEPASS OR PHANPY!?! THE ANSWER IS NOSEPASS, WHICH DEFIES CLASSIFICATION AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT THE FUCK!
So who does Ash turn to in his moment of greatest desperation? When all hope has failed and his Level 6 Billion Pikachu somehow shorted out? Why to Clint Eastwood Cool, of course! Grovyle!
Katie has the Type Advantage, but not the cool advantage. Grovyle dodges Ice Beam and comes after Walrein with Leafblade, but Walrein dodges underwater and scores a direct Ice Beam attack from out of the water, then dives in and out of the water to mock Grovyle. Ash hears Pikachu calling out and thinks to himself he won't let them down, then spots some of the ice that has formed against one of the water platforms and has an idea.
Ash has an idea.
He has Grovyle use Leafblade on the water, and as it kicks up, Walrein is knocked up into the air and blasts Ice Beam at Grovyle which leaps out of the way.... and the Ice Beam freezes the splashed up surface water and creates a solid platform on which to fight!
Grovyle moves in and connects with a Quick Attack, smashing Walrein back into the wall.... but Walrein doesn't go down, coming back with Mimic and hitting a Quick Attack of its own! Ash sends in Grovyle with Leaf Blade and Walrein tries a Body Slam, but Grovyle only came in close to bring in Walrein, and it leaps back and lays down Bullet Seed all over Walrein, and then proceeds to smack the fuck out of Walrein in what looks like a Hit and Run Attack to the twerps but which Tyson things is just Ash's natural fighting style.
Katie - growing increasingly frustrated - sends in Walrein and Ash surprises everyone by sending Grovyle in right after the much larger Pokémon! Just before the moment of impact though, Ash has Grovyle dodge aside and score a direct blow of Leafblade, and Walrein goes up.... and comes back down hard and.... knocked out!
It's over! Ash wins!
Ash congratulates Grovyle for being awesome, it folds its arms over its chest because it already knew that, and Katie admits that Ash beat her fair and square and shakes his hand on a victory well won.
Morrison is determined that he too will have a victory like Ash's, and next thing we see is Metang smacking around Machamp and Morrison winning his match, followed by Tyson doing the same when Meowth-In-Boots uses Iron Tail to knock out Rhydon. The first round is up and Ash, Morrison and Tyson are amongst the 16 winners to proceed to the next round.
Also celebrating success are Team Rocket, being fed an even BETTER meal by their strangely friendly Boss who tells them that if they keep up their selling he will take them to an All-You-Can-Eat Restaurant, and Team Rocket are shocked and delighted - they did good and they're being.... rewarded!?!
The twerps, Morrison and Tyson settle down to a meal of pizza as May continues to celebrate her pre-adult metabolism. Morrison insists that he has never been nervous in his life and that the only difference he feels is his heart is beating fast and his throat is dry. Max laughs that this IS being nervous (or being a huge fatass) and then his PokeNav reveals the pairings for the next round are up. They go to see who will be facing who and, of course, Ash will be facing Morrison!
Ash tries to talk up Morrison's shell-shocked appearance by offering to race him to the showers (HEY HEY!) but Morrison mutters a negative and slouches away, not being competitive for the first time in perhaps his entire life. Ash goes looking for him and finds Morrison trying to talk up his Metang into attacking a tree like it was one of Ash's Pokémon. As it charges though, Morrison sees Ash's face and calls Metang off, because he simply can't do it.
Misty's cameo be damned, Morrison really IS Fat Misty with Balls!
Ash doesn't understand of course, how could he, and Brock explains that Morrison is a fat loser with no friends who has found himself suddenly WITH a friend AND winning at the prestigious Hoenn League Championships. Now in order to keep up that winning way, he has to fight and beat the only real friend he has ever had in his life.
Or, if you subscribe to the Fat Misty with Balls theory, it's Misty and she doesn't want to fight the boy she loves who don't know what the fuck is up and has forgotten that she ever existed!
The next day kicks off with fireworks, and the Second Round begins. The first match is on the Ice Battlefield, and is - of course - Ash versus Morrison. They start off with Corphish vs Girafarig, and Morrison struggles miserably to bring himself to fight Ash's Pokémon. Girafarig's Light Screen is shattered by Corphish which then dodges an attack, and Girafarig is really struggling to keep its footing on the ice while Corphish is delighting in its environment and smacks the crap out of Girafarig, knocking it out without it landing a single shot on Corphish.
Morrison is freaking out and hesitates to call out his second Pokémon, receiving a warning from the Judge as the announcer proclaims that if he doesn't chose soon, he forfeits the match!
Make your choice, Fat Misty With Balls. Your friend or your dreams - the choice must be made by you.... because Ash is too stupid to!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Excuse me sir, you look emaciated!" |
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