396: Like A Meowth To A Flame
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398: Saiyuu Shiti Touchaku! Chouka o Haita Nyasu!?
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While we deal with this translation/cultural barrier, Team Rocket are cycling behind the ferry in their Magikarp Submarine, drawn after the twerps and towards the Hoenn League Championships themselves....
Disembarking, the twerps move past the many booths and stalls set up to bilk the tourists and trainers. May only has eyes for the noodle shop though, having gotten hold of a restaurant guide and planning on spending the entire Championship stuffing her face with noodle (HEY HEY!) because now that she has failed her life's ambition to win the Grand Festival.... why not just eat her way to a fatass to get over the misery?
They move down the dingy side-alley where the Noodle Nosh restaurant is supposed to be, finding only a deserted and crummy looking area of the City. Murkrow line the walls and seem quite keen on May's guidebook, sweeping down and grabbing it from her, then attacking the twerps in a swarm (well, flock, technically). Pikachu tries to blast them off but more and more keep coming, over-running the twerps and attacking with a malice not normally seen from their type.
And then things get weird!
A Meowth in boots, neckerchief and feathered hat comes leaping in claws out, chasing the Murkrow off at the instruction of its trainer. The twerps are left flummoxed at this bizarre state of affairs, and thank... the trainer, rather than the Meowth-In-Boots, and he spots the guidebook and notices it was open at the Needle Nosh page. They head over together, where Tyson (that's his name, that's why I call him that!) reveals he is competing in the Hoenn League as well and will be competing against Ash. He notes that his Meowth is a notoriously picky-eater so he's surprised to see it calmly, coolly (much like Grovyle!) eating Brock's Pokémon food alongside Pikachu. He compliments Brock on his extensive breeding knowledge (all theoretical, Max is forced to leap into the way of his desperate for a reason to live sister before she can give away the family honour, insisting she just means they both love food and not that she wants to slobber his knob. Tyson greedily drinks the last of his soup from his bowl, spots the time and rushes out of the restaurant with his Meowth. The twerps follow after, and he explains that the Pokémon League Torch (which comes from a Moltres) will be arriving soon and he has to be there for it... because he's a torchbearer!
Oh dear, not very reliable, is he!
Waiting at the spot along with crowds lining the street are Officer Jenny, Nurse Joy and Professor Goodshow (who really gets around for a dwarf pedophile Santa), and ALSO Team Rocket, in hiding and waiting for their chance to steal the Moltres Flame. Why? Because patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy, that's why!
Imagine da Boss, riding into da office one lovely morning. He'll park his bike, look up and... WHAM! He'll see da torch lit by Moltres' flame shimmering above headquarters!
"Ahh yes!" proclaims Fantasy Giovanni in a Meowth-like voice,"Boining bright, da fire from da legendary Pokémon Moltres lighting up my life!"
After this, we get to see Giovanni percolate some coffee and cooking a meal with the Moltres torch fire before having himself a bath in a garbage bin full of water heated by the flame!
What the hell is wrong with that little cat?
Tyson arrives and introduces himself hurriedly to Professor Goodshow as the torch is bought in with a police escort. The twerps show up as well and May and Max discover that Ash and Brock know him and that they used to be torchrunners as well! May is further surprised to discover that Goodshow knows who she is, calling her by name and talking about how spectacular she is.
DANGER! DANGER YOUNG CHILD!
It seems he saw her Grand Festival Appearance and knows her father as well, while Max remains a non-entity (I guess even freaks like Goodshow have a limit). The torch arrives and Tyson sets off with it, followed by his cool-as-ice Meowth as the twerps shout encouragement. Meowth watches from the bushes with binoculars, getting completely needlessly infuriated and jealous of the Meowth-in-Boots.
A long stretch limo of compensation +5 shows up for Goodshow and he asks the twerps if they'd like to travel in the car with him alone without parental supervision. They set off as Tyson runs along with the torch, and Goodshow points out the Ever Grande Stadium before them, a very impressive connected network of roads and battle arenas atop a lake of water with a central big arena, presumably for the final battle.
The Stadium is so big it even has its own Pokémon Centre, which doubles as the Registration Centre. Brock tells Ash to get registered as soon as he can, while May is keen to shop but FIRST to get to the bakery in her guide and chow down on some more comfort food to try and fit the empty hole in her soul from when she lost the Grand Festival.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE HUMBLE POKEMON EVENTUALLY EVOLVES INTO THE REGAL KINGDRA!?! MARILL, HORSEA OR MISDREAVU.... WAIT, WHAT? MISDREAVUS? SERIOUSLY, MISDREAVUS IS ONE OF THE OPTIONS!?! FOR FUCK'S SAKE THIS IS JUST GETTING RIDIC-
At the Pokémon Centre, Ash completes his registration and is given an official guidebook which Max takes to look through before Ash does. You know... Ash, the guy actually competing.
Meanwhile, Brock's cock is getting him into trouble.
Leaping from Jenny to Jenny to Joy to Joy, Brock ends up getting dragged away by Max, while Ash remembers for the first time in a long time that Morrison exists and asks Joy if he has registered yet. There has been no sign of Morrison registering yet though, and after seeing Tyson arriving at the Stadium he decides the time has come to phone home to the parent he loves the most.
Professor Oak!
Haha, poor Delia!
Chatting with Oak, he explains that he doesn't want any of his other Pokémon transferred through to him. When he left for Hoenn he left all of his Pokémon except for Pikachu behind because he wanted to start fresh and work up a whole new team. He's done that now, and he doesn't think it would be fair to swap them out now, so he's going to go with the Pokémon he's got.
Saying goodbye without a single goddamn word to Oak about at least saying Hi to his mother, Ash is alarmed to hear a bell ringing and an announcement come over the PA System stating that the Moltres Flame has been stolen. Various Jennies rush about in a panic, and Tyson shows up and tells them what happened. They had arrived in the storage room and put the flame into the jar where it is kept when a very odd Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy created a distraction and disappeared with a strangely waddling run.
It's been awhile since James got to show off his legs like that!
Tyson can't believe that the flames were stolen from right under his nose, and Brock can't believe an Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy were behind it. The others figure out pretty quickly it was crooks disguised as the two authority figures, and moments later we see just that as Jenny (Jesse) and Joy (James!) are being chased in a motorcycle sidecar, James commenting that he may just keep the wig!
Haha, oh James!
One of the Officer Jenny does an INCREDIBLY dangerous stunt to jump over the escapees and block them off, but Team Rocket drives directly off the side of a cliff Thelma and Louise style.... so long as Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon had a talking cat with a Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon waiting to catch them as they went over the side!
And really, didn't we ALL leave that movie wishing that had been the case?
The Jennies, Goodshow, Tyson and the twerps insist that they can't do this, and Team Rocket react with a (in a shrill Joy and pretty damn good Jenny voice!) recitation of their motto.... rather than just sailing away on the wind right then and there.
"That's right, possession's 9/10ths of the law!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket torches the competition at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare for a marathon fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBBUH!"
"CHHIIIIIME!"
"We should have known it would be Team Rocket!" snaps May angrily.
"Yes," agrees Jesse,"You should have!"
BURN!
Ash has Pikachu blast at them with Thunderbolt but Meowth reverses it.... with an umbrella!
Wait... what?
Jenny wants to use her Blastoise but Joy warns this could put out the flame. Tyson has an idea though, why not a monstrous anvil-demon!?!
That's always a fallback option!
The monstrous Metagross uses Confusion to stop the balloon in place (this works how now?) and Meowth pushes back against it by increasing the flames of the balloon. Goodshow has an idea though, telling Ash to use an Ice Attack which will freeze them but not the flame (what? It's inside a jar but.... what?).
Ash calls in Glalie and freezes them, then LEAPS THIRTY FEET IN THE AIR INTO THE BASKET and grabs the flame from them! Team Rocket burst out of the ice and scramble to get the flame-jar from Ash, and it is knocked out and falls through the sky, causing James to squeal that it dropped and Jesse to.... pitch Meowth out of the balloon after it!
Meowth grabs it and hugs it in terror as he falls, and then Meowth-in-Boots leaps through the air, grabs the flame-jar off of Meowth and then.... kicks Meowth in the gut!
What a jerk!
Meowth is furious as Meowth-in-Boots calls him "pathetic" and retorts back that at least he doesn't have a cowboy complex.... while Ash, Jesse and James are engaging in a bizarre form of foreplay.
Meowth demands the flame back, and Meowth-In-Boots dares him to come and get it. Meowth charges and gets Fury Swiped in true anime showdown fashion, and then Iron Tailed in a disturbingly phallic attack that sends Meowth blasting off again... without Team Rocket!
Tyson shouts at Ash to jump out of the basket hanging high above the air and he just goes ahead and does it without any thought of his imminent death. Tyson has Metagross use Confusion to slow his fall, and then Meowth-In-Boots uses Thunderbolt (IT CAN DO THAT!?! Team Rocket are sure as hell surprised to see it) and sends Team Rocket blasting off again.
Back in the storage room, Goodshow thanks them all for their help, and both Tyson and Ash are impressed by what they saw of each other.... and looking forward to battling each other in the Hoenn League.
This son of a bitch better not knock Ash out in the quarter-finals and then go on to lose like so many before him!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "We should have known it would be Team Rocket!" "Yes. You should have!"
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