395: Island Time
|
397: Sabaibaru de Ikou!
|
A short time later, the twerps are taking off in a rickety old cargo plane, the only passengers and super excited for the "luxury" of their private plane. The stewardess steps out and asks them for their attention in a very familiar voice, and tells them their flight is going to be delayed.... because they're going to Team Rocket Headquarters!
A delay to their arrival? That's what happens when you're on....
Jesse tears off her uniform (it is NEVER what you think it is going to be, twerps) and they reveal the pilots are Meowth and James and the raffle was their little plot to get their hands on the twerps. They lower bars over the twerps' chests and capture Pikachu in an electric-proof bubble, and Jesse reveals that she spared no expense to pull off this scheme... including emptying their bank accounts and selling off James' entire bottlecap collection!
Meowth can't believe she spent all the money they saved by living on only berries all year (that explains how they keep their figures!) and James is furious to hear his bottlecap collection is gone.... so furious he leaps to his feet and forgets he is supposed to be flying the plane!
The plane banks and they almost lose their footing, James grabbing the stick at Jesse's insistence (she didn't have to tell him twice!) as he struggles and brings them back under control. Jesse returns to her happy ranting.... but then the plane begins to nosedive and Meowth realises that they're out of fuel. James reminds Jesse that she was supposed to buy fuel, and she did! She points.... to the single small can of fuel that she bought for their ENTIRE plane!
As the plane dives through rough turbulence, May is sure they're going to die and bemoans not eating more candy (that slim waist doesn't feel as important when you're never going to get boned by Drew, doesn't it May!) while Ash bravely (well, stupidly) insists that they're not done for just yet.
The plane comes through the clouds and there is an island directly beneath them. Meowth and James admirably and surprisingly manage to crash-land the plane effectively into the beach, leaving Team Rocket collapsed in a daze in the cockpit. The force of the landing frees the locks on the twerps and they get Pikachu out of its bubble and step off of the plane onto the island.
As they look about for polar bears or little bug-eyed men who constantly and openly lie and deceive and cheat but never get killed for absolutely no reason, a Venonat pops its head over the bushes, exciting Max because something something. But then the Venonat talks! Only it's not a Venonat! It's a man, man! A manly one with that beard too, and he's delighted that they've come to rescue him!
Jesse pops out of the plane rather grumpily and tells him that it should be pretty obvious that THEY are the ones who need rescuing. They all settle down together for a meal (Team Rocket chowing down with gusto), while Robin (the Venonat man) tells them he used to be a travelling salesman for a Multi-National Corporation but one day his boat was caught in a violent and terrible storm and everyone but him was evacuated while he was knocked overboard and.... onto the back of a Wailmer which swam to the island left him there. He named the island Wailmer Island himself and has a Venonat hairstyle now and his best friend is Wailmer which pops up to say hello out in the water.
Dude is completely fucking insane.
As the Wailmer gushes water out of its blowhole for a laugh, Team Rocket finishes their meals, limber up and then dive into the water and swim away (well, Meowth sits on Wobbuffet's back) because they have places to go and things to do! But as they swim, Jesse leads them straight into one of the many whirlpools surrounding the island and they're sucked down inside. Wailmer swims down and rescues them, bringing them back to the island and dumping them on the shore. Robin tells them all that once he built a raft and had Wailmer try to pull him to safety, but the raft was smashed up by the turbulent waters. May realises that this means that no boats can reach them to get them off of the island and she and Jesse are the only females on an island with three males, James and Ash.
Team Rocket imagine having to grow old on the island and start freaking the fuck out, even Wobbuffet, while Ash clenches his fist as he realises that he won't make it to the Hoenn League.... and Brock declares that there is no reason for them to give up.
Yeah, if he can continue to believe that one day he'll get laid, he can believe ANY impossible dream!
Brock has an idea, they're going to use their Pokémon as "tools" to turn the wreckage of the plane into a ship, and Robin tells them they can power it with coconut fuel from the forest?
He really is insane!
All of the Pokémon set to doing something useful.... except for Skitty which just runs back and forth mewing while Wailmer farts water out of its blowhole.
Jesse is sick and tired of collecting vegetables as it is "too organic", snapping angrily at the happily hovering Chimecho. Jesse complains that she doesn't like working side by side with the twerps, and Meowth doesn't like it much either! Only James seems willing to put their differences aside in order to GET OFF THE FUCKING ISLAND! but Meowth has a plan.... they'll steal Pikachu AND the boat when it is complete and leave the twerps and Robin stranded on the island to have sex with May while Ash plays with the native Pokémon.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE POKEMON RETAINS THE SAME TYPE THROUGH ALL OF ITS EVOLUTIONS!?! RALTS, TORCHIC OR HORSEA!?! THE ANSWER SURPRISINGLY IS NOT THE BIRD THAT IS ALWAYS ON FIRE!
That night, the catamaran made of tough airplane materials is ready and the Pokémon are all ready for a meal prepared by Brock. May has kept Munchlax in its Pokeball to keep it from eating the "fuel", and when she calls it out it tries to eat all of the prepared Pokémon food and Max has to quickly get it some of May's pink surprise.
No. It's NOT what you think. It never is.
Team Rocket happily tell everyone to eat up and enjoy a good night's sleep so that they'll be bright and ready for their voyage tomorrow, leaving May and Max concerned that Team Rocket are being a little TOO happy and helpful.
That night, they all sleep in blankets, Jesse hilariously and selfishly taking up the most space of anyone as she lies spread-eagled (hey hey!) with arms thrown wide. Pikachu wakes up early, causing Ash to wake too and then the other twerps, and they notice that Robin is missing. Heading out to the catamaran, they find him standing talking with Wailmer, and he explains that he is saying his goodbyes. He explains that Wailmer saved his life in more ways than one, as before he was wrecked on the island he was living like a machine, his job was his life and he didn't realise how miserable he was until he was forced to change his entire lifestyle.
They ask him why he doesn't bring Wailmer with him but he points out that it wouldn't be happy stuck in a big, filthy city and they agree he is probably right.... and then Team Rocket snatch Pikachu with an extendable arm and haul it over to a cage they somehow have with them onboard the catamaran! Robin can't believe it, they worked together!
"Make it double cause we're bad to the bone!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Team Rocket sails the seven seas at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare for a waterlogged fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"Wobbbbbbuh!"
"Chime Chime!"
Ash tells Pikachu to Thunderbolt them but they've once again electric-proofed the cage (how!?! And where did the cage come from!?!) and set the motor and get going as the twerps and Robin yell at them to come back it's not time to leave yet! They ignore them as they head away.... until they run out of fuel and stop dead in the water!
They hadn't put the fuel in yet!
The whirlpool catches them and drags them in, shattering the boat in two and sending them flying. Ash leaps onto Wailmer's back and surfs to catch the falling Pikachu, and then Team Rocket leap out of the water to.... blame the twerps!
Furious at the twerps for building such a flimsy boat, they send in Seviper and Cacnea which end up crashing into Wailmer before getting Thunderbolted by Pikachu. Team Rocket aren't done being users yet though, and decide that they'll just go ahead and use Wailmer to make their escape!
Robin yells at them that they're too heavy for that much weight..... and then Wailmer evolves into.... Wailord!
This is both good news AND bad news, because that's one BIG fucking Pokémon!
Jesse gets over her fright as she realises they have themselves a bus+ sized Pokémon at their disposal now, and James and Meowth agree.... none of them seeming to realise that a giant pissed off whale isn't the best thing in the world to be ordering around.... as they soon discover as they're sent blasting off again by a huge water spout.
Robin asks if can carry them off of the island, and it takes them on its massive back directly into the whirlpool, struggling against the flow of the ENTIRE sea. It is a real struggle, but a massive splash of its tail and a burst of energy from its mouth allows it to slam through and they're past the ring of whirlpools.... they're free!
As the sun sets, a passing ship catches sight of Wailord, the twerps and Robin (still with the Venonat hair for some reason!) and brings them on board. Wailord stays alongside (a disturbing sight) and Robin realises it is time to say goodbye and return to the big city life he hated so much.... and then he leaps onto Wailord's back and declares that he'll be a lot happier ON the island!
They're confused, but he explains that he was NEVER happy living the life he did before, because while the city seemed to have everything it had nothing.... and while the island seemed to have nothing it had everything!
I didn't see one goddamn naked woman on that island, Robin.
So he and Wailord sail off into the sunset, leaving the twerps to wave their happy goodbyes while Robin returns to a life of being a no-good unemployed bum with no family, friends or women.... because the dude is complete and totally insane!
But you can't beat the rent, I guess.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "The stick! Grab the stick!"
 "I guess this is it, I just wish I'd eaten a whole lot more candy!"
 "I can't live in the wilderness! I've spent my life as a spoilt brat from the city!"
|
|
