385: Who, What, When, Where, Wynaut?
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387: Maboroshi jima no Sonano!
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Brock and May are watching from a rock behind him, the tide starting to come in and separate them from Ash and Pikachu. May is excited about her upcoming contest, sure that she will win her 5th Ribbon. Ash and Pikachu are ready to kick off their training when they notice someone approaching the edge of a higher cliff overlooking the sea. It's Drew! And his Masquerain is blasting an approaching high wave.
They go to meet him as he leaves the cliff, where he flicks his hair out of his face and arrogantly, casually mocks May as he tells her he is on his way to the Grand Festival. She tells him they'll meet there and he asks if she has won her five ribbons, and she proudly shows off the four she has. In reply he shows her HIS ribbon case, and all five ribbons inside it! May is shocked, and then appalled when he tells her that the Grand Festival is only six weeks away and there is only ONE contest left to qualify for it - the Pacifidlog Town Contest! If she doesn't win, she'll never qualify!
Thrusting her ribbon case behind her, May is in a panic but insists she'll win her fifth ribbon, an idea that Drew seems to think is laughable. She insists that she'll prove it by beating him in a practise battle right here and right now! Given his rather low opinion of her (and his denial of his desperate desire to get into her pants), he is happy to reply....
So on the beach like two samurai of ancient times with oddly familiar names, Dawn and May face off with Ash acting as judge. Beautifly uses Silver Wind and Masquerain spins through it to dodge, then uses Silver Wind itself. Beautifly dodges with a somersault, and then.... a giant Magikarp beaches itself on the sand.
Sigh, this show is SOOOO predictable!
"Prepare for trouble, your moves are lame!"
"Make it double, ours put yours to shame!"
"We'll cut it short dis time," says Meowth, as he, Jesse and James emerge from the head of their Magikarp Submarine. They lower back in and hit a button that sucks Pikachu, Beautifly and Masquerain into the Magikarp... then the twerps and Drew!
Jesse is shocked, they don't want the twerps! The extra weight means they slam against the wall of the holding pen and smash through it... directly into Jesse's face and crashing down into the "engine room".... i.e, the metal pommel horse that Team Rocket sit on and peddle.
Wobbuffet pops out to happily salute and terrifies Max who stumbles backwards and accidentally hits the Hyper Turbo Switch, which causes the submarine to turn around and rocket deep down into the ocean and explode, sending them ALL blasting off and crashing onto an island in the middle of the sea.
Oh sweet, it's going to be one of THESE episodes!
Team Rocket wake up in the middle of the woods, not knowing where they are.... but Wobbuffet is missing! James tries imitating its call while Jesse - also yelling and screaming and trying to beat it to death when it is there - becomes weepy at the loss of her "darling little sweetie pie" then getting angry that this is its fault.
Elsewhere, Ash, Brock, Max and Pikachu have landed on the island but can't find Drew or May, who turn out to be in a hot and steamy.... area of shore. All alone!
Oh ho ho, it's going to be one of THOSE episodes!
But before ridiculously hot and illegal sex can inevitably break out, a creepy old man comes motoring in on a boat declaring he's coming, he's coming!
Oh no, it's going to be one of THOSE episodes!
Tying up his boat, he learns from May and Drew how they came there, and explains they're on "Mirage Island", a place that few people find and even fewer deliberately. Surrounded by Whirlpools and thick fog, it's a place shrouded in mystery. Drew has heard of it, it is world famous and supposedly crawling with Liechi Berries, which make the best kind of Pokémon. May doesn't know what that is but gets furious and insists she DOES know all about... and pronounces it wrong which just gets her even madder.
The man - Roderick - laughs that seeing these two adolescent kids arguing furiously to cover up their deeply humiliating and hurtful lust for each other reminds him of a Pokémon and asks if they'd like to see it. They don't see the double entendre at all and say they'd like to, and he offers to lead them further into the forest, warning that it is easy to lose your sense of direction in there.
Brock has found this out for himself, as his compass spins wildly. Ash had sent Swellow up to look for May and Drew but it hasn't seen anything. Brock decides to find a river or stream and follow it down to the shore, and they call out Corphish and Mudkip to help them find a river.
Corphish goes and looks behind a tree and Mudkip sniffs the ground in case some rivers are hiding, and then both point in the direction they believe the river to be.
Meanwhile, May is doing her running narrative thing again, using her fingers to form a camera and narrating their journey. Drew scoffs that she doesn't get out much (it's ALL she does!) and she retorts that he just doesn't know how to have fun, and then Roderick stops them to ask if their friends would have any idea what to do if they got lost. May stops to think for a moment (probably imagining the destruction and devastation that a lost Ash trying to think his way out of a problem would cause) and then suggests that Brock would. Roderick suggests they find a river and follow it back to shore then, as they're more likely to find Brock and the others that way.
But.... they were on the shore just before and he brought them into the forest to see a Pokémon.... ahh forget it!
Jesse is getting increasingly frustrated walking around calling for Wobbuffet, but then she and James hear a happy little,"WYNAUT!" call and see a flash of a blue blob rushing away out of the corner of their eyes. They chase after it excitedly, while Meowth sighs that he'd tell them it is a Wynaut.... but why bother?
Roderick, May and Drew have found the river, and Roderick explains how he found the Island in the first place 40 years earlier searching for Liechi Berries. He was swept overboard and awoke on the shore being stood over by the silhouette of a Wynaut. He passed out again and woke up in a cave full of Liechi Berries, as far as the eye could see. Drew notices Liechi Berries growing out of the riverside cliff and moves over to get a closer look... and the rock breaks underfoot and he and May plummet down towards the water. Roderick calls out a Bellsprout that fires out a Vine Whip, May catching it and trying to pull a Spider-Man to save Drew from becoming Gwen Stacey.
She manages to grab his hand but this causes hers to slip out of its grip on Bellsprout's vine. They both crash into the water, rushed downstream and over a waterfall, breaking the surface with Drew unconscious and May forced to keep him afloat. This takes all her strength and prevents her from swimming against the current to the shore, and she yells at Drew to wake up because she isn't strong enough.
"WYNAUT!?! WYNAUT!?!" comes the question thrown at her from a multitude of blue blobs vaulting at speed alongside the raging river.
Well because she's a little girl you jerks! Save her!
HEY TRAINERS WHICH OF THESE POKEMON IS THE FINAL EVOLUTION OF BELLSPROUT!?! GARDEVOIR, VICTREEBELL OR SUNFLORA!?! THE ANSWER IS THE ONE YOU'D LEAST WANT TO PUT YOUR DICK IN!
The other twerps have found the base of the waterfall and are calling out for May and Drew when Roderick comes down on a rope calling out to them. He explains what happened and Ash seems to get confused about tenses and believes that they're HEADING for a waterfall... the waterfall that they're currently standing at the base of.
Inside the Wynaut's Cave, May wakes up Drew and points out their saviours to him. For the first time we're actually shown the Wynaut not in silhouette, which is confusing since it's not like it wasn't clear what they were going to be. May checks them out with Dextina (and calls it Dextette!?! Boooo! The name is Dextina!) and learns they're the pre-evolved form of Wobbuffet, live in herds and sleep in caves for warmth. One of the Wynaut's offers them both Liechi Berries and they chomp into them enthusiastically... till the aftertaste kicks in.
May sticks her hands between her legs and giggles that she feels happy, and Drew seems pleased to.
Oh like you wouldn't!
That night, an exhausted Team Rocket have crashed, moaning that they've been looking for Wobbuffet all day without food and they're miserable and hungry and wherever Wobbuffet is it is probably getting fed.
And Wobbuffet happily agrees!
It patiently and pleasantly says its own name while munching on Liechi Berries and wandering about between them as they moan they think they can hear it... and see it.... and it's "da real ting!"
They demand to know where it got the food (as it has just finished eating them all!) and it points off in a direction and they rush away to find the food, leaving behind a patiently pleased Wobbuffet.
Roderick is leading the twerps along the river explaining his origin and how he has learned over the years to navigate through the whirlpools around the island to keep an eye on the Wynauts. Max spots footprints on the shore and guesses they belong to May and Drew, and they set to following them.
Meanwhile May has been invited by the Wynaut to join in their little writhing party, and she calls out her Pokémon and rushes in with the blue blobs and their oddly phallic headbumps, wriggling around amongst them in joy while Drew insists he is happy to just watch.
Oh, so he's one of THOSE types of guys, is he?
Meanwhile, Wobbuffet has taken Team Rocket to the Liechi Berries, where they're enjoying the taste... and then hating the aftertaste. Meowth figures out what type of berries they are.... and how valuable they are!
Not long after, May's Wynaut Writhing Party is broken up by the arrival of Team Rocket in their Patiently Pleased Wobbuffet Balloon complete with giant suction nozzle hanging underneath it.
Why did they spend all day walking through the forest when they could have flown by balloon?
Team Rocket suck up all the Liechi Berries AND May, though oddly the Wynaut are not grabbed up. Team Rocket aren't so sure that people would pay through the nose for a twerpette (depends what kind of customer you're looking for really) but Jesse laughs that they can sift her out and throw her away with the pips later on. Drew chases after the balloon, but once it passes over the cliff and above the tree tops he is pretty much fucked.... till the Wynaut form a rescue chain and allow him to slide down it, bumping his balls the entire way.
Team Rocket have tied up May as they continue sucking up berries from the trees in the forest, and she can't even reach her Pokeballs. Drew whispers to get her attention but she stupidly replies out loud and gets Team Rocket's attention.
Meanwhile, Roderick and the boy twerps have found the Wynaut's cave, but it is empty with no sign of Drew or May. They figure that Team Rocket has something to do with this (how do they kno.... ahh fuck it) and set off to find them.
Meanwhile Team Rocket are fighting Drew's Roselia, Wynaut using Counter to prevent attacks from getting through, forcing Jesse to demand Wobbuffet go in there and prove it is better.
But they'd just stand there staring at each other waiting for the other to do a move!
But before it can do anything, Roselia fires in a completely different direction, making Team Rocket laugh till they realise it is using its moves to cut May free. She drops down to safely, and then the twerps arrive, Pikachu blasting the fuck out of Seviper. James sends in Cacnea to use Pin Missile, and Meowth says fuck it all and just whips out a gun and shoots at the twerps!
But before they can be incinerated, the Wynaut form a wall before the twerps and use Safeguard to protect them, allowing Pikachu to blast the fuck out of them with Thunderbolt (knocking the collected berries free) before a combination Silver Wind from May and Drew's Pokémon sends Team Rocket blasting off again.... and admiring the wonderful sunrise!
The next day, everyone is being sailed away from the island by Roderick, who shows them a photograph of him as a sneering, cruel-faced younger man amongst all the Wynaut. He explains he used to be known as Roderick the Wrong-doer, until he met the Wynaut and became known as Roderick the Kindly Gentleman.
Or so he says, the only man who knows how to get to the island full of rare and valuable berries!
He remembers to give May a basket of berries and she tells Drew they'll help her at the Grand Festival. He points out that she stills needs to win her fifth ribbon, but she is convinced she will do so, and then the Grand Festival is only six weeks away!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "People will pay through da nose for 'em!" "Well I could care less where their money comes from!" "Through their nose into my pocket!"
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