383: Eight Ain't Enough
|
385: Rune Jimu! Mizu no Ateisuto, Adan! (Kohen)
|
Grovyle stands confused and unsure till Ash shouts at him to get moving.... and Grovyle runs in and begins bashing its head against a pillar.
That's love for ya!
Brock yells at Ash to recall Grovyle, but before he can Juan has Luvdisc use Water Gun and knock Grovyle out!
Already!?!
As they prepare for their next fight, out at the new Fountain Installation, Team Rocket are preparing for their revenge.... on Juan's reputation! Jesse and Meowth have dressed up and are shouting out that Juan is about to put on an impromptu performance. Three ladies steps up to ask if Juan isn't supposed to be facing a Challenger at the Sootopolis Gym, but Jesse laughs that Juan has already wiped the floor with him, and then in comes "Juan" himself, putting on the charm for the very appreciative ladies while an incredulous Meowth and Jesse watch on.
As "Juan" prepares to show off a Water Illusion, the one on one battle continues now between Luvdisc and Corphish. Ash is careful to avoid Sweet Kiss and has Corphish use Crabhammer on the water to knock Luvdisc into the air. But this also causes the water to "rain down" over the arena, which lets Luvdisc use Swift Swim to dodge constantly. Ash reacts admirably though, having Corphish use Bubblebeam on the mist to stop Swift Swim from working, then connecting a hard shot of Crabhammer right to Luvdisc's face (that's all it has!) and knocking it out!
Juan sends out Whiscash next, and Ash sends Corphish in with Bubblebeam. Whiscash surfs a wave that blocks the Bubblebeam, then crashes down with Rock Smash on top of Corphish before it can skitter away, crushing it into the ground and knocking it right the hell out.
And now both Trainers are down to 2 Pokémon each.
Meanwhile, "Juan" is presenting a Water Illusion where he holds up fans with little tiny jets of water up thanks to the little hoses tucked up his sleeves and the back of his coat... which has the unfortunate side effect of making it look like he's receiving an enema from Meowth who is furiously pumping water up the hose disappearing into James' nether-regions.
The crowd is embarrassed for "Juan", unable to believe he is wasting his (and their!) time with such a pathetic display. One weakly suggests he might be entering his surrealist period, and then the rest of the crowd begins to shout their disapproval.... until Jesse saves the day by telling them Juan will now sign autographs.... and let them take pictures with him!
The middle-aged, hot and flustered women instantly forget their dismissal of Juan, because now they get to stand next to him and pretend they're not slowly decaying away in loveless marriages!
Back at the battle, Ash has called out Swellow, a decision that May and Max both approve of but which Brock finds unsettling, since Whiscash can now go underwater to avoid attacks.
But Juan doesn't do that, instead he has Whiscash.... grab Swellow around the wings with its whiskers and begin tickling it!
What.... the.... fuck?
Max explains that Tickle weakens Swellow's defence, but Brock can't figure out why Juan is using a move like that right from the get go. Holding Swellow in place, Whiscash blasts it direct in the face with Hyperbeam and smashes it hard into a pillar with enough force to send it crashing to the earth. Juan is smugly pleased, because there is no way anything could survive the initial shot let alone the impact of the crash an-
It flies up back into the air apparently unhurt, and moves in with Aerial Ace. Juan has Whiscash dive into the water to avoid it, since as a Flying Type Swellow can't possibly get at it an-
It knocks Whiscash out of the water and into the air, but it slaps a whisker around the pillar and spins around to blast Hyperbeam into the water. Swellow dodges with Quick Attack, then moves in with Aerial Ace as Whiscash dives for the water. Both plummet towards their target at the same time, and it remains to see who will hit first - Whiscash into the water or Swellow into Whiscash.
The answer is... both! Swellow seems to crash into Whiscash just before it hits the water.... but it has hit just before the water meaning that Whiscash's bulk and momentum has crushed Swellow itself into the water, which surely means Swellow is down and out and it's all over for the tough little bird at las-
AYE FUCK YE LADDIE IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN SOME FAT BASTARD FALLING ON ME TAH PUT ME DOWN GET ME ANOTHER WHISKEY!
Whiscash is out, Swellow is victorious!
Juan recalls Whiscash, thanks it for getting its ass kicked, and congratulates Ash on some excellent strategy and use of moves. He only has one Pokémon left now, while Ash still has two. But Brock warns May and Max that both Pikachu and Swellow have been through a lot, while Juan's last Pokémon is still fresh and strong.... and can only possibly be one Pokémon - Milotic!
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE POKEMON IS NOT A WATER TYPE!?! CASTFORM, GOLDUCK OR MILOTIC!?! THE ANSWER IS... ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ASKED WHICH OF THESE POKEMON IS NAMED CASTFORM!
Ash sends in Swellow, but Milotic blasts Hydro Pump straight at it.... and Swellow spins around it scores a direct shot of Aerial Ace!
And Milotic looks pissed!
It swings an Iron Tail at Swellow which manages to dodge, but Juan smugly, sounding almost bored, requests a Twister which Swellow CAN'T dodge, and smashes it straight up into the roof with enough force to put a crater in it, then leaves Swellow to thump down onto a pillar, knocked the fuck out.
....ay.... aye laddie.... think I'll just have a wee sleep now.....
And now only Pikachu is left.... bit of luck it's level 45 Billion then!
Ash seems to have finally learned that Milotic is able to block electric attacks, so he comes up with a strategy.
Electric Attacks!
Oh my God.... you fucking moron.
Pikachu blasts the ever-loving fuck out of Milotic with Thunder, and the other twerps are impressed at the power of it while Milotic floats there taking it and taking it. Finally Pikachu turns off the juice, and Juan smugly tells Milotic to use Recover.... and it heals back up to full strength!
Arrrghhhhh I hate it when they do that in the games!
Meanwhile at the autograph session, the desperate housewives have discovered that Jesse intends them to PAY for autographed photos of "Juan", and they charge by the word! To sweeten the deal though, Jesse offers a free commemorative Juan Bottlecap... ahem, BADGE! with the purchase of three photos, each with a different pose.... and they come in mystery "R" bags so you won't know what pose you're getting till you open it!
Suddenly they're all eager, everyone loves collecting shit, this is the Pokémon world after all! They all line up and begin paying for their badges, Jesse telling them to retain their badges as proof of purchase so they can pick up their signed autographs at the Sootopolis Gym later! She then grabs "Juan" around the neck and begins hauling him away as he moans that he needs to sign "his" autographs. The desperate housewives open their bags and discover to their horror they only have bottlecaps in them, which also horrifies "Juan" as he realises Jesse has once again dipped into his prized bottlecap collection.
One of the Housewives is so pissed off she calls out her Blastoise and has it use Hydro Pump to smash Team Rocket with enough force to knock them out of their clothes (HEY HEY!) revealing their Team Rocket uniforms as they're sent blasting off again, their collected moneybox falling into Blastoise's hands and leaving the middle-class housewives smugly self-satisfied for figuring out the blatantly obvious con after only several hours.
Back at the battle, Pikachu and Milotic clash Iron Tails, with Milotic seemingly getting the best of the deal and going back to the Twister Well. It uses Water as well as opposed to just a wind, and Pikachu is caught up in the water and seemingly trapped. Juan smugly tells Ash that the battle is over as nobody has EVER escaped this combo.... and then Ash has Pikachu easily and simply break out of it by using Thunder and crashing directly into Milotic with Quick Attack!
Haha, how does it feel, Juan!
He is impressed by Ash's strategy and Pikachu's power, and decides to step things up a level by ordering a Hydro-Pump. Pikachu dodges and zaps Milotic with Thunderbolt, but it shakes it off and uses Recover once again.
GODDAMN YOUR STUPID RECOVER!
Max points out that Recover won't be FULLY healing it as the battle goes on though, but Ash is wondering how he can put it down for good with Pikachu looking tired. Juan wants the battle over as he can see that things are getting a little closer than he expected, and has Milotic dive under the water where Pikachu can't see it. Ash ponders how to deal with this, and then has one of those,"DING! HERE'S AN IDEA, MORON!" things that the dim recesses of his brain sometimes send his way. As Milotic comes out of the water with Iron Tail, Pikachu dodges and races up its body, avoiding a close-range Hydro-Pump and grabbing it by the red hair tassels on its head and.... doing a judo-flip to toss it back into the water!
That's hilarious AND bad-ass both at the same time! Pikachu is still holding on as they both submerge, leaving Juan incredibly confused, and then Pikachu unleashes Thunder at FULL POWER within the pool of water itself, creating an explosive jet of crackling water to smash into the roof as Juan is left staring miserably at the defeat of his greatest Pokémon by a small yellow rat it was specifically trained to defend against it.
Brock explains to May and (surprisingly) Max that Ash realised that water conducts electricity better than air. Milotic had been taking electric attacks well enough, but once entirely submerged in the water the power was magnified incredibly, and it had nowhere to go and no way to use Recover. Pikachu essentially just shoved a power cable directly up its asshole and said,"Recover from this, motherfucker!"
Ash just won his goddamn Christing eighth motherfucking holy fucking Gym Badge!
That's eight from eight! He's eligible for the goddamn Hoenn League at last!
Juan and Sebastian congratulate Ash for his victory, and his eligibility for the Hoenn League, telling him it begins in 3 months.... ahhhhh man, really?
Ash is excited to get into his training, but they also tell May that the next Pokémon Contest is scheduled soon for Pacifidlog Town, which according to Max's PokeNav isn't too far away. So with the badges behind them, their course is now clear. It's time for May to get her Fifth Ribbon, and then the Grand Festival and Hoenn League await!
|
