382: The Great Eight Fate
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384: Rune Jimu! Mizu no Athisuto Adan (Zenpen)
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The ferry crosses under a rock archway into the Sootopolis Port, and Ash can barely contain himself he's so excited for his battle. But as they dock, fireworks go off and May excitedly decides there must be a festival on and she and Max rush down the gangramp followed by Brock, leaving behind a horrified Ash who DIDN'T want to get distracted today, he wants his Gym Battle dammit!
The source of the fireworks is a nice new building built over a moat-like water feature, and the Mayor of Sootopolis proudly announces the man responsible for it - their beloved Gym Leader, Juan!
Ash is delighted to discover his name (he.... he hasn't done any research?) while a lovely fountain of four jets of arcing water rise high as the man in question steps forward with a.... decided flourish.
Oh my God, it's Doctor Orpheus....'s gay cousin!
The flamboyant Juan and his deep voice declares he is truly humbled and thanks them all for coming to join him and the Mayor's kind words, but claims that the Pokémon are the real stars, and has them leap out of the water to land on platforms, all Water Types, and central to them all and the focus of all the attention, a Milotic that May proclaims the prettiest she has ever seen. Brock is impressed with how well looked after they appear, and EVERYONE is impressed at the amazing water/bubble display that Juan has his Pokémon use to light up the skies of Sootopolis.
The Mayor steps forward to move onto the next step of the celebrations, but then an odd chiming noise resonates across the crowd, catching Juan's attention. He asks what it is and the answer comes from a rather unexpected source.... Team Rocket and their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon!
It's Chimecho, chiming away happily as Juan listens with admiration, delighting James when he notes how well and with what love it has been trained, and asking them if they are highly regarded artists which must be about the best fucking thing anyone has ever asked Team Rocket in like forever. Their reply, of course, is to recite the motto!
"And then make it double since our trouble is far from the norm!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"Hmmmm, to unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off with artsy flair at the speed of light."
"So surrender now or prepare yourselves for one flairish fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!
"Chime chime, chime!'
Ash runs down and warns Juan that Team Rocket aren't to be trusted and are probably planning to steal all the Pokémon, Brock explaining they're from an evil organisation called Team Rocket. Team Rocket admits they are intending to steal... but artfully, and Juan is disappointed in the waste. They insist that they gotta pay the bills somehow and hit a net that lowers over Juan's Pokémon, then electrocute the fuck out of them to "dry them out".
The twerps prepare to save the day, but Juan tells them that it isn't necessary and has his Pokémon pool their defences before Milotic sends Team Rocket blasting off again!
Awwww, that was way too soon!
The twerps are impressed by Juan's Pokémon, especially Ash who has had a chance to get a look at his Pokémon. Juan asks if this is their first visit to Sootopolis and Ash introduces himself, and officially challenges Juan to a battle. And Juan accepts!
Yay! No distraction!
They sail down in a boat through the canals of Sootopolis, where Juan tells the dramatic tale of his high flourish lifestyle. Once he was a Contest Coordinator and won the Grand Festival (which delights and amazes May) and that he has taken a great deal of interest in working Water Pokemon's weakness to Electric Attacks because he feels that there is more art and challenge in a battle where you are on the backfoot and in danger and have to overcome your weaknesses rather than rely on your strength.
They arrive at Juan's palatial estate which turns out to be the Sootopolis Gym itself, where they meet Juan's dignified Butler Sebastian, who will act as Judge for their Gym Battle. He leads them inside the poolroom, the giant pool acting as the battlefield. It will be a 5 on 5 Pokémon, and for the first round they will have a Double Battle using two Pokémon at the same time. Following that it is down to one on one battles, with only Ash allowed to substitute.
Damn, Pikachu realises this isn't going to be easy.... and Ash remains looking completely fucking clueless.
Juan - who is so goddamn dramatic! - sends out Sealeo and a Seaking as his first pair, and Ash has to decide which of his Pokémon will be on the platforms lying on the water. Pikachu is his first choice and then Snorunt, and his first move is.... to use an electric attack.
After already seeing that Juan's Pokémon can take electric attacks easily, and after hearing him explain at length how he has trained them to overcome their natural weakness to electricity.
And that is his first move.
Because he is an idiot.
HEY TRAINERS! WHICH OF THESE POKEMON IS THE FINAL EVOLUTION OF CATERPIE!?! IS IT VENOMOTH, BUTTERFREE OR BEAUTIFLY!?! IF YOU SAID BUTTERFREE THEN.... UHHH... OKAY..... GOOD FOR YOU I GUESS!
It should come as no surprise that Juan's Pokémon blocked the move and used it to hit Snorunt instead, and Juan tells him that this won't be much of a match if such simple moves caught him off guard. Ash has a secret plan though, and shows off a new move..... Thunder!
That's... that's the move he used before!
Seaking blocks it just the same as before but this time Pikachu leaps in the way of the returning attack so that Snorunt is protected from it.... though Pikachu doesn't look like it is in very good shape. Sealeo uses Blizzard, dropping the temperature all over the arena, which Max would be able to get an accurate reading on if he just shifted his gaze to left.... something he looks painfully aware of.
Snorunt is enjoying the cold though, bouncing from foot to foot while Pikachu freezes. Ash suddenly realises he can make use of the Blizzard and has Snorunt use Icy Wind.... and freezes the blizzard into a giant chunk of ice that falls into the water. Juan has his Pokémon shatter it, and Ash sends Pikachu and Snorunt bouncing in over the icy shards to launch an attack on Sealeo and Seaking. Juan is impressed but sees it coming, and has his Pokémon launch a counterattack that Pikachu dodges but Snorunt doesn't, and Snorunt is out for the count!
Juan's triumph face is.....
Holy shit, is it even possible to get gayer than that?
Apparently so, as the next thing we see is James.... dressed up as Juan!
Jesse and Meowth are delighted saying he looks more like "him... than you!", and they're ready to get their revenge AND steal some Pokémon.
Ash sends in Corphish to join Pikachu and use Bubblebeam, but Sealeo and Seaking get into the water and attack from below. Pikachu dodges but Seaking appears to have the drop on Corphish as it leaps out of the water.... but then Corphish throws up a claw and catches Seaking by the horn!
"Use Horn drill," says Juan smugly, sounding almost bored, and suddenly poor Corphish finds itself being spun right round baby right round.
Corphish is spun into the water and Pikachu jumps at Seaking and hits it with an Iron Tail, before disappearing behind the steam explosion of Sealio's Aurora Beam. Seaking is knocked clean out but nobody knows what happened to Pikachu and Corphish... till Corphish pops out of the water with Pikachu riding it like a cowboy!
Juan is pleased, things are finally getting exciting, and has Sealeo use Ice Ball. Corphish Hardens and takes the shot, then blocks the next with Vice Grip. Brock shouts out a warning that Ice Ball gets more powerful with each successive use, but Ash is confident because the move also TAKES longer too, giving him the time to get across and hit it. Pikachu smashes through the next Ice Ball with Iron Tail, but before the shards from that have finished falling into the water, ANOTHER Ice Ball crashes straight into them and knocks them flying.
Ash is shocked, how did it come so fast? Once again Juan reminds him that he has trained his Pokémon to be elegant AND have speed, and orders one last Ice Ball to finish things.
Ash jumps back to the old reliable standby of Thunder however, and slows the oncoming Ice Ball as Juan reminds him that the fifth Ice Ball can't be stopped, it's too powerful. Max thinks he should have blocked when he had the chance, but Ash isn't done yet and tells Pikachu to keep pouring on the power.... and it does.
And it works!
The Ice Ball cracks and shatters and falls in pieces all over Sealeo, and Corphish moves in with Crabhammer and... knocks Sealeo clean across the room and into the wall!
Ash wins Round One! Against all odds, sanity and ability!
The water lowers in the pool and a new field raises, one with a watery lake around proper land and grass. Ash and Sebastian swap sides and Ash goes straight to the big Guns by bringing out Grovyle, while Juan sends out Luvdisc. Grovyle uses Bullet Seed but Luvdisc moves surprisingly fast, dodging and using Water Pulse. Grovyle dodges, bouncing off the arena and zooming in with a spinning Leafblade.... which Luvdisc dodges and hits it direct in the face with Sweet Kiss!
Oh my God you guys, Clint Eastwood just fell in puppy love!
Our thoughts exactly Ash!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Ash pulled it out again!" |
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