374: Where's Armaldo?
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376: Moroboshi no Shima! Kaseki Pokémon Arawareru
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On the beach, Ash is training Pikachu's aim and combinations while May works with Bulbasaur for her next contest, finally teaching Bulbasaur to use Petal Dance. She shows off to the boys (nothing new there) by having Bulbasaur blast Petal Dance through an upcoming wave.
While Ash and May improve their lives and Brock continues to tread water in life - Max is out collecting firewood. As he moves deeper into the forest he hears some rustling and calls out, and from the bushes emerges..... oh God..... an abomination against God and nature, a horror torn screaming from the deepest pits of the mind of Lovecraft. The.... thing.... screeches in surprise at seeing Max and slithers away, leaving the normally know-it-all Max utterly shattered, shocked, and with shit in his pants.
Oh like you wouldn't.
The twerps rush in to find out what is going on, and he explains that he saw it... a big Cradily.
Oh, it's a Pokémon, not an Eldritch Horror.
May checks it out with her Pokedex but Brock insists Max can't have seen it since they're extinct, and May thinks Max must have mistaken some other Pokémon for the hideous tentacled abomination. As this is highly unlikely, Max is delighted to hear rustling again indicating the monstrosity is slouching back towards them. But when it emerges from the bushes... it is a Breloom, which sort of kind of looks a little bit like a Cradily not at all.
Max is horrified and May smug, but Max insists that he did see one and intends to prove it no matter what, rushing off into the bushes all alone after a monster from the dawn of time.
And finds a mansion.
He can't understand what such a huge place is doing in the middle of nowhere and thinks nothing of trespassing on private property to look through the window. Inside the old mansion is surprisingly advanced technology.... and a pen containing three Lileep, the pre-evolved form of Cradily! As Max stares in shock, a shadow falls over him and he turns to find a scientist looming over him, demanding to know what he is doing on restricted property.
Meanwhile, the twerps are just kind of meandering their way through the forest apparently not concerned that Max has disappeared. If anything they seem bemusedly resigned to Max's flight of fancy, Brock insisting that he can't have seen a Cradily... till they see a Cradily!
Brock can't believe it.... nor can he believe the hot scientist chick who rushes up beside it to hug it. He moons (not like that ya dirty bastards!) over her and she introduces herself as Annie, and asks them what they are doing in the open, public forest that anyone can just walk into. They tell her they're looking for Max and she suggests they try the laboratory since surely a small boy in a huge open forest would inevitably walk straight into it.
And he did!
Inside the lab, Cradily (which appears to be very friendly for an utter monstrosity that God hates) returns with them as Max checks out the Lileep, and Annie introduces the male scientist as Professor Proctor.... her husband.
Haha, poor Brock.
May admits to Max she was wrong, saying he was right, the three words he's most wanted to hear her say next to "Take me, Max!"
He shows them the Lileep, astonishing the twerps further despite the fact that Cradily should have prepared them for this. May doesn't understand how these Pokémon can exist considering God hates them and destroyed them. Annie and Proctor explains that they cloned them from fossils; part of Proctor's surprisingly sinister sounding plans for the future. As he offers to show the twerps pictures explaining the timeline of extinct Pokémon.
While this fascinated stealth school lesson takes place, Team Rocket are watching from a tree branch looking through the window, Jesse being careful about placing her leg to prevent any cameras that might happen to be pointing directly at her crotch.
Inside, Proctor is showing how long, long ago the island was part of the greater landmass, but eventually broke away and formed Whales Island where the Pokémon such as Lileep, Cradily, Anorith and Armaldo eventually became extinct. And Proctor's dream is to recreate those Pokémon from fossils, create an environment where it is safe for them to live and then.... CREATE A POKEMON AMUSEMENT PARK!
Seriously, his ultimate goal is to make a big commercial theme park.
He stresses to the twerps that they need to keep the existence of the extinct Pokémon secret though, as the mansion is sitting in the middle of an open public forest not more than a brief walk away from a large city on the shore of the island and thus only the twerps could possibly reveal their secret. They agree to do so as they don't want the Pokémon to be bothered while Proctor works on his long term plan to make people pay him to bother Pokémon, while outside that nefarious Team Rocket dares to be thinking of a way to profit from the formerly-extinct Pokémon... those cads!
Meowth's plan, of course, involves giving the Pokémon to the Boss!
"Why would we want to do that," sighs James, and Meowth explains in the form - of course - of a patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni fantasy.... once that involves Giovanni.... tearing off his clothes and jumping into a pool of water to get all glistening and shiny after talking about how the Pokémon have "awakened his wild, primitive instincts deep inside".
Oh Meowth, we love you so much.
Inside the lab, an alarm warns Annie that Anorith is about to evolve. It comes out of a tube in the ground and crawls towards the moat around the pen. Proctor is eager to see an Armaldo and... there it is, it evolves right before their very eyes and BOOOOOOY is it ugly!
And captured! Team Rocket have somehow surpassed the incredible security of the top secret lab in the middle of the public forest by... stepping through the window and throwing a net over Armaldo!
Proctor and Annie have no idea who the hell these people are so Ash explains they're criminals, while Jesse insists they're entrepreneurs. They drag Armaldo towards them and it... slashes open the net and Water Guns them blasting out of the lab and down the forest path into a twinkle of light. But when Ash tries to congratulate Armaldo, it blasts water at him and Pikachu, hurls some broken equipment at Brock, blasts at Proctor and Annie and then hauls ass out of the lab and into the forest to run amok and cause any number of misunderstandings.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE WERE ASH'S ORIGINAL CHOICE FOR A STARTER POKEMON!?! WAS IT CHARMANDER, SQUIRTLE OR BULBASAUR!?! IF YOU ANSWERED "THE SHOW IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS FOR TRAINERS CHOICE SEGMENTS" THEN YOU'RE CORRECT!
Proctor, Annie and the twerps rush out into the forest after Armaldo, Annie saying even as an Anorith it was a little wild. Proctor thinks it would never have reacted like this though, and the twerps are more than happy to blame Team Rocket. They find Armaldo and try to calm it as it eats apples angrily, so it blasts at them again. Pikachu jumps out to try and talk to Armaldo, and Beautifly and Forretress go in as well in an effort to show type-affinity.... but it doesn't work!
Well duhhh... when Armaldo existed, Pikachus, Beautiflies and Forretresses probably didn't even exist! It slaps them out of the way and takes another angry bite of apple and spits it away, so Ash has another idea.
BEAT IT UP!
He sends in Corphish to fight and it gets its jerkish little ass beat for its troubles, and Armaldo promptly digs down into the ground and rushes away. Proctor checks out the rejected apples and comes up with a solution - it is looking for food, a type of berry that used to grow in great numbers on the island but now can only be found at one point - the very tip of the island!
Apparently Armaldo knows this as well as it goes to the same place, and Proctor suggests they wait for it to eat and fill its stomach and THEN try approaching it. Before this can happen though, Team Rocket return.... in an underground sand digger robot that they apparently designed, built, tested and operated within a 20 minute timeframe!
The mechanical grabbers grab Armaldo and drop it into a hatch in the roof, as Team Rocket take the time to properly introduce themselves to Proctor and Annie.
"Prepare for trouble, with evil unmatched!"
"And make it double, your Armaldo's been snatched!"
"To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "Jesse!" "James!" "Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!" "Surrender now or prepare for a prehistoric fight!" "DAAAAT'S RIGHT!" "WOBBBBBBUFFET!" "CHIIIIME!"
Ash demands they let Armaldo go but Jesse points out there is no property of the twerps tag on it. May insists that doesn't mean it belongs to them, and Team Rocket reply that in this case they'll just hold on to it until ownership can be worked out.... and then try to run them down as they prepare to return to the lab and steal Lileep and Cradily as well!
Proctor shows that he may have earned his Professorship at Action University, Des Moines as he chases after the digger and leaps onto the back, banging on it to get Armaldo's attention as it tries futilely to smash through the Dura-Fossil Steel.
He insists that he'll get it out of there and that he won't let them take "his friend" (and future meal ticket) away. Team Rocket aren't prepared to put up with this bollocks though, and swing about to try and knock him clear, then actually grab him with a metal hand and.... toss him at speed into the ground and kill him!
Okay... so they didn't kill him at all.
Luckily the twerps can run at dozens of miles an hour and are right behind them. Ash has Pikachu use Thunderbolt but it does nothing, so May has Bulbasaur try Petal Dance but the petals just bounce off.... and into an overhanging rockface that shatters and crashes in front of the digger. Meowth wildly swerves and the digger goes over on its back, exposing a fragile belly that Armaldo is able to smash through as Team Rocket are left on their backs or on all fours.... and not in a good way!
Wobbuffet is delighted though, for no apparent reason.
Team Rocket burst out of the hole in the floor determined not to give up THEIR Pokémon, and Meowth leaps in to attack with Fury Swipes.... and horribly damages his claws on Armaldo's Rock Blast. Petal Dance knocks Meowth back to Jesse and James, and Thunderbolt from Pikachu blasting off again as Jesse moans that she just wants to win and James sulks that he just wanted something ancient. But as Meowth points out, them blasting off again really is getting old!
As the sun sets, Armaldo finally gets his berries. As Proctor and Annie make goo-goo eyes at each other, Brock says that Armaldo realises now that they love it, and especially the money it is going to bring them in when they open their Amusement Park and put their "friend" up as an exhibit.
So enjoy that sun and solitude while you can, Armaldo, because soon enough you're going to be a star.... whether you like it or not!
Ain't it great when the good guys win!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "If he's your husband then I assume you're his wife and that kind of wrecks my plans for the future!" |
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