373: Vanity Affair
|
375: Umi no Otoko! Shitennou Genji Toujou!
|
Torkoal is fighting some tubby dude's Scizor, Ash very confident of victory and.... well deserved, as Torkoal kicks Scizor's ass and tubby congratulates Ash on being so strong and says he learned alot from the battle and really appreciates Ash taking the time out of his busy schedule of being a freeloading drifter to kick his ass. Ash says all the right things back about how tubby will be stronger with training too, but off to the side an old shirtless man with an open coat, a hat and massive handlebar moustache seems less than impressed. He seems to think that Ash is guilty of a....
While the twerps show off, though, Team Rocket are working a legit gig as cooks, waiters and cleaners at a restaurant. Apparently they've lost track of the twerps and Jesse thinks they should rethink their lives... and James has a plan for a new career.
They can go hang out on a deserted beach island in the sun!
Don't you need a degree to do that?
As they imagine this wonderful future though, the creepy dismissive old bastard enters the restaurant and demands to know where "the old man is". Strangely Team Rocket don't tell him to go look in the mirror, explaining that the old man is taking the day off and they're covering for him. He tells them they better cook as well as the old man does OR ELSE, and demands a glass of hot milk with peppermint.
Meanwhile the twerps have arrived at the same restaurant eager for a meal, and Ash really IS getting a bit of a fat head, insisting how tubby wasn't really a challenge for him and he feels like he could pretty much beat anyone after his most recent 1-on-2 victory at Mossdeep.
Motherfucker cheated and hacked THUNDER ARMOUR into the fight and he thinks he is hot shit.
Their waiter arrives as Brock tries to deflate Ash's head a little, and freaks out when James realises it is the twerps, though they of course do not recognise him in his disguise of a green beret and glasses.
I mean... Chimecho is RIGHT THERE BESIDE HIM!
He tells them to scream when they're ready to order and rushes away to tell Jesse and Meowth, while Old'n'Angry sips his tea and spots the twerps sitting outside. In the kitchen Jesse and Meowth are eager to try and capture Pikachu, Meowth telling a confused James rather tetchily that this is hardly new information for him to have to process. He asks what happened to their dream of living stress-free on the beach and Jesse replies it would be better to be stressed and rich. But this leaves the problem of Mr. Old'n'Angry, as Meowth explains in a Patent-Pending Crazy Meowth Mr. Old'n'Angry Fantasy that if they just rush out and leer over the twerps, he'll be pissed at them screwing with his restaurant and TIGER UPPERCUT them into blasting off again!
Jesse and James see nothing off at all with the idea of some random old man having super-strength and wanting to fight them, so they try to come up with a plan to beat him.
Meanwhile, May is explaining to Brock that she is having trouble figuring out what Pokémon to use at her next Contest. Uninvited, Mr. Old'n'Angry steps his shirtless self up beside May, which is kind of creepy and a little unsettling - even the twerps seem to feel it.
He offers some advice to May about being careful about what Pokémon to pick, and then Max picks him out.... he's Drake.... from the Elite Four!
OOOOOOOOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Team Rocket overhear and are understandably impressed, while Drake reveals that he was actually IMPRESSED by Ash, as opposed to being pissed at his attitude. He offers to take the four children with his shirtless self onto his boat for a ride, and they see nothing wrong with accepting this. Just then Jesse rushes up beside him and says she'd like to go on a moustache rid.... boat ride too, making everyone stare at her uneasily until James pulls up beside her and says they need to talk.
And they proceed to hunker down RIGHT NEXT TO THE TWERPS to whisper their plans amongst themselves!
The twerps seem to see nothing wrong this and don't overhear their fevered planning, Ash bending over to ask what they're whispering about. They insist they weren't whispering as that would be rude, and then Drake tells them that their hot milk was.... the best hot milk he ever had! Well if it came from Jesse then surely it GET MY MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!
And then Meowth whispers to himself that you can rely on him to make great milk.
EWWWWW!
Wherever the white fluid came from, Drake liked it enough that he happily offers Team Rocket a place on his boat too, and the next thing you know they're at the dock allowing Drake's coat to flutter dramatically in the wind while everyone stands behind him remarking how cool he is. And then he points out his boat as it comes in to dock... a huge sailing ship!
First Mate Fitzwilliam waves hello as they sail in, telling them that everything is shipshape and ready to go, and they board the ship where they discover the deck is bigger than a Battlefield. Max asks if he could see Drake's Pokémon, and after a gruff initial response he says there would be no fun in JUST showing them to them, and asks Ash if he would like to have a battle!
Oh fuuuuuuck, Ash gonna die!
Ash is eager, saying he has been looking for a good challenge. Brock once again fails to deflate Ash's ego as he warns him that a member of the Elite Four isn't any ordinary challenge, but Ash brushes him off stupidly. A crewmember offers to judge the match, while Team Rocket giggle that they'll bide their time and then steal Pikachu.
A member of the Elite Four's Pokémon will be RIGHT THERE for the taking for God's sake!
First out from Drake is Shelgon, so Ash sends in Pikachu, figuring to take it out with superior speed. Pikachu opens with Thunderbolt and Drake just stands, apparently not paying any attention. Pikachu has another shot and Shelgon barely dodges, then stumbles forward slowly with Double Edge as May notes how slow it is and James comments in his phony French accent that Pikachu's speed will make it difficult to fight. May is impressed by his knowledge and James freaks out, not really wanting to bring attention to himself.
Shelgon storms forward ridiculously slow and Pikachu dodges with Quick Attack while Drake continues to just stand there watching, Fitzwilliams telling May not to dismiss Drake so soon.
Pikachu leaps in with Iron Tail and falls almost as slowly as Shelgon, and Drake reacts at JUST the right time, ordering a Dragon Breath and then a Dragon Claw double-hit that knocks Pikachu RIGHT THE FUCK OUT!
HE'S IN THE ELITE FOUR YOU MORON DID YOU THINK IT WOULD BE EASY!?!
HEY TRAINERS WHICH OF THESE POKEMON IS PIKACHU MOST EFFECTIVE AGAINST!?! TORKOAL, WINGULL OR MANECTRIC!?! IF YOU SAID WINGULL THEN NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! TORKOAL IS ROCK TURTLE AND MANECTRIC IS LIKE A LIGHTNING DOG OR SOMETHING, WINGULL IS JUST A BENT BIRD!
Ash picks up Pikachu and checks that it is okay, then takes a fresh look at Drake who is still standing apparently unresponsive. Fitzwilliams explains that Shelgon has tremendous defence, and Drake knew it could take some hard shots while he took the time to figure out when and where to hit Pikachu. Drake tells Ash that he made aggressive attacks but he should have taken the measure of his opponent first, and sends in his next Pokémon - Altaria - while Ash seems to finally be taking things seriously.
He looks up at the masts and sends out Grovyle, which takes the time to slip a twig into its mouth. May and Max are surprised, but Fitzwilliams is impressed, seeing that Grovyle can make use of the masts like trees to overcome its normal type disadvantage. He explains that Drake doesn't just invite anyone onto his boat for a battle, he must have really been impressed with Ash, and Ash is showing why.
Grovyle uses Bullet Seed, but Drake can take advantage of the masts as well, having Altaria dodge behind them so the Bullet Seed hits the mast. Grovyle tries to get in close with Leaf Blade but Altaria was expecting it, no longer behind the mast but above it. Once behind Grovyle, it is free to strike with Takedown... and it does!
Grovyle falls and grabs at the rigging with one claw to keep itself from crashing into the mat. Altaria fires a blast of Dragon Breath and scores a direct hit with it, knocking Grovyle to the deck. Ash can't understand what happened, and Drake explains that confidence is a good thing, but allowing himself to get overconfident means he misses things he would normally spot. A Trainer needs to be able to cut out all other distractions and take in the big picture.
Ash ponders this (a difficult concept) and Drake orders Altaria to use Sky Attack, causing it to blaze bright with fire as it comes towards a dazed Grovyle. Ash struggles not to be distracted by Sky Attack and has Grovyle Dodge and come at Altaria with Leafblade, but again Altaria dodges and hits a full blast of Solar Beam on Grovyle, crashing it through a barrel and into the wall, knocking it clean out and giving Drake the victory 2-0 in a best of three match.
Drake picks Grovyle up as Ash rushes towards it, and as cool as Drake might be, there is no doubting Grovyle is even cooler as we see that... even while unconscious it doesn't let the twig fall out of its mouth!
Drake tells Ash that to be on the safe side he should take Grovyle to the Pokémon Centre. Ash recalls Grovyle and tells Drake that he tried best, and Drake tells him that he did really well at the end of the match and showed what he was capable of, and he just needs to keep working on it.
As he gives Ash advice and offers to treat them to dinner tonight onboard, Jesse steps up by May with a cold drink "courtesy of Drake", presumably for Pikachu. At this point you would think that Team Rocket's plan was to drug Pikachu's drink to knock it out, but instead Team Rocket prove once again that they might be good at dramatics, but not so much at thinking through their plans as Jesse offers the drink... then just grabs Pikachu and jumps over the side of the ship followed by James and Meowth!
Haha!
IMMEDIATELY the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon rises up, apparently having been floating unmanned and unnoticed beside the ship this entire time.
"Prepare for trouble as we sail ship to shore!"
"And since we've got Pikachu, why make it double? Make it triple or more!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight and fight!"
"Meowth dat's right!"
"WOBBU-FFET!"
"CHIIIIME!"
Ash demands Pikachu back as it struggles in Jesse's rubber-gloved hands, and James tells them not to spoil their fun as they put so much thought into their plan.
Yes, truly it was Machiavellian how they.... grabbed the rat out of May's hands and jumped over the side of the ship.
Drake is furious at Team Rocket for stooping so low and brings out the big guns... Salamence!
And it doesn't mess around!
Pikachu spills out and lands on Salamence's back, and just to add horrible 1st degree burns to injury, blasts Team Rocket right in the face with Flamethrower!
And so Team Rocket are sent blasting off again, complete with puns!
The twerps are astonished by Salamence's power, and Ash is VERY impressed, finally seeming to acknowledge the power of the Elite Four.
That night the twerps sit around a table with Drake on the deck, the rest of the crew around other tables, Max sitting on a crate. They're loving the food, and Drake explains to them that he is always trying to improve himself and tells them about a losing streak he was once on. He explains to an astonished Ash that after some deep soul searching he figured out that he was being overconfident and this was causing his losses. Once he developed some humility, the victories that had begun to elude him return as he stopped making foolish mistakes brought about by overconfidence. Then, in perhaps one of the most blatant revelations ever made by an "authority figure" on the show, he tells Ash that he sees incredible potential in him and thinks he will play a big part in the future of Pokémon Training.
Ash is understandably excited, while at the same time trying to take to heart Drake's admonishment not to get a big head. He asks Pikachu if it is ready to step things up a notch, and of course it is, it doesn't know what the fuck is going on but the man-Pikachu tells it to blast things and then other men and women-Pikachu wearing things on their bodies give him little bits of metal and then squinty-Pikachu gives him something to eat and shiny-eyed little-Pikachu looks at the fat Pichus sleeping in girl-Pikachu's chest pouch and then it goes to sleep.
The sad thing being, Pikachu is the smart one of the duo.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Burnt again!" "That guy can cook!" "And now we're toast!"
|
|
