370: It's Still Rocket Roll To Me
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373: Fuu to Ran! Uchuu Senta no tatakai!
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Team Magma and Team Aqua are dead and done, fading out with a hiss instead of burning out with a roar. Their endless, prattling, inconsequential and BORING plans and plots and fucking around is finally done with, and the twerps can FINALLY push on ahead with their lives and get back on course. They've arrived in Mossdeep City where Ash is keen to stop all the goddamn prevaricating and actually get his next Gym Battle.
It was a tough time getting through it all, Gentle Dodgers, but we stayed the course, because hey....
They head straight to the Mossdeep City Gym, but before they can even get through the doors, they open and a woman rushes by muttering to herself that she's late. Ash calls out to her and she pulls to a stop, obviously keen to get going but not wanting to be rude. He tells her he is here to challenge the Gym Leader, but she tells him the Gym is empty because everyone is at the Space Centre for the Shuttle Launch.
And Max is instantly in nerd heaven!
The woman rushes away while Brock looks through his guidebook, wondering how he missed the Space Centre, and Max nerds it up telling them all about the Space Centre from which weather satellites and several space probes have launched. And now a shuttle is set to take off as part of an experiment for long term exploration of space and other planets in search of Pokémon, because hundreds and hundreds of the fucking things aren't enough.
Max begins going crazy talking about all the nerdy shit they can nerd it up with at the Space Centre, and Ash has to shout him down, angrily telling him that they'll go there ONLY to find the Gym Leader and challenge them. After all the Magma/Aqua nonsense, it is clear that Ash intends to get back on pace, and Max nervously agrees while secretly and smugly thinking to himself that once Ash sees all the nerdy shit at the Space Centre he will be sure to fall in love and want to hang out there all day.
Yeah, and May will whisper lovingly,"Oh Max all this nerd stuff makes me so hot for you I can almost forget you're my brother and a child take me take me now!"
At the Space Centre, they're 90 minutes away from launch and doing their final pre-flight checks. Watching from quite some distance away, sitting in a tree but not k.i.s.s.i.n.g, is Team Rocket, checking out the shuttle with binoculars.
James thinks it would be cool to have the rocket, but Jesse doesn't see what it has that their balloon doesn't. James makes the rather accurate point that it wouldn't pop, and then Meowth eagerly cries out that he knows, and Jesse wearily guesses that he thinks they should give it to the Boss.
Cue another delightfully patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy!
Dawwwww!
Meowth explains that lil' Giovanni is waking up each morning as fresh and energetic as a little kid because he finally has a rocket all of his own. And with it he can take off into space and feel so calm and at peace with the universe that he'll begin to devise a plan, a glorious new plan to crush all enemies and rule the galaxy! And he'll reward Meowth "and friends" handsomely!
And of course, Jesse and James fall for it hook, line and sinker.
Meanwhile, the twerps have arrived at the curiously deserted Space Centre and walked straight into the area holding equipment used to train the astronauts. May asks what one particular piece is and Max explains it is a Moonwalk simulator, which would allow you to bounce around as you walked. May says she would love that and....
GETCHA MINDA OUTTA DA GUTTA!
....Ash spots something else. It's a spinning machine designed to test pilots' ability to correct and hold course when violent forces are being applied from all sides. Ash, being an idiot, thinks it is like the machines used at fairgrounds, straps himself in and hits the button and starts getting tossed about like a moron who strapped himself into an astronaut's training device and hit a button. As he is thrown about, Pikachu struggles and strains and manages to hit the off-switch, and Ash staggers clear and collapses at the feet of the other twerps. May mutters that boys can be so immature, while Ash tries to stop the room spinning and then spots an odd glowing light. He crawls forward and looks through the windows running around the floor into a sunken battle arena.... and discovers ALIENS FIGHTING!
The Solrock and Lunatone are fighting at the behest of a boy and girl, Tate (the boy) training Solrock while Liza (the girl, duh!) commands Lunatone. Solrock seems to be getting the worst of it and tries to come back with Solar Beam, which leaves it open to a tackle from Lunatone. Solar Beam and Ice Beam clash and Solrock is overcome and frozen, and Tate is forced to recall it to his Pokeball.
As he mumbles that he came so close, Liza mocks him by noting that he hasn't beaten her so far. Just then the twerps just blunder happily into the room and immediately fall.... up! Into the air!
It seems Baltoy are making the room Zero-Gravity (or reduced gravity at least, as they don't float up to hit the ceiling), and Liza and Tate step out of their grounded shoes to float up beside them. The initial discomfort quickly wears off as Max tries out some somersaults, and then introductions are made. It seems Tate is Liza's "little brother", in that they're twins but she was born before him. Max can commiserate since he is younger than May and also because he wants to bang her, and Liza explains that they are the children of the Director (and head Astronaut!) of the Space Centre.
Pikachu takes the opportunity to engage in some French physical comedy as the twerps float in place, Liza and Tate explaining that while playing with the Baltoy one day they discovered they could create a Zero-G environment. They think it is fun, but Brock is more serious, claiming that this is a VERY constructive method of training. They consider that and note that it might be a good idea to start up a training school within the Centre.
Ash reveals that he is here to challenge the Mossdeep Gym Leader, and they tell him it would be a better idea to wait till AFTER the Shuttle Launch. Ash says that is probably right but he doesn't know how the Gym Leader will feel, and they giggle that they can GUARANTEE that Gym Leader would want that... because THEY are the Gym Leader.
Both of them!
At the same time!
.....not in a sex way.....
HEY TRAINERS WHICH OF THESE POKEMON DOES NOT EVOLVE!?! LILEEP, TANGELA OR HOUNDOUR? IF YOU SAID TANGELA YOU WE.... WHAT THE FUCK IS TANGELA SUPPOSED TO BE ANYWAY?
Tate shows off on the Spinner as Ash grumbles that it was his first time. Liza explains that the rules of their Gym are slightly different, it will be BOTH of them going against him and two Pokémon at the same time.
May thinks that is a little unfair to Ash, but Brock notes that a Gym Battle is merely a stage to test a trainer's abilities and skill. For his part, Ash thinks that it sounds great, he looks forward to the challenge. Liza offers to let May use the Moonwalker and Ash goes to join them... but Pikachu jumps into his way, and mimes out that it wants him to bring out the other Pokémon to make use of the Space Centre as well.... including a fantastic impersonation of Clint Eastwood-Cool itself, Grovyle.
Soon the Pokémon themselves are playing about, including Pokémon in little space suits swimming underwater (Bulbasaur kicking wildly as it floats upside down) while Max is shown the flight simulator and a wide-eyed Corphish spots a driver transporting boxes of food and chases after it.
The shuttle is preparing for flight after the pre-launch sequence completes. But as Commander Jim prepares to board, the woman who left the Pokémon Gym at the start of the episode thinks she spotted something on the store-room camera. She guesses it is just nerves, while within the store-room on the shuttle, a delighted Corphish is raiding the astronaut supplies.
Liza takes Ash, Brock and May to see Commander Jim on his way to the shuttle (shitty fucking security at this place) but Max and Tate are nowhere to be seen. Just then the security warning comes in that intruders are approaching the shuttle... and it's Team Rocket of course, wearing bulky, non-flattering space suits and powerless to resist introducing themselves when it is demanded they introduce themselves.
"Say goodbye to the shuttle, we won't bring it back!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"And to unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off for real this time and at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare for a cosmic fight!"
"MEOWTH DAT'S RIGHT!"
"WOBBUUUHHHH!"
"CHIME CHIME!"
Jesse is pissed to see the twerps, wondering why they can't commit a crime in peace, and Liza mistakes James' mocking as asking for permission to steal the shuttle. Cacnea tries Pin Missile but Pikachu blasts right through it.... but Jesse is so used to be zapped with tons of electricity that she actually calls out Seviper in the middle of being attacked and has it use Haze to cover their escape into the shuttle.
Up in the cockpit, Max and Tate are checking out the controls while Max moons over the idea of getting to go along for the ride, while deeper inside the shuttle Jesse has located the stocks of food and allowed her empty stomach to sidetrack her.
She snaps angrily at Meowth to "keep his space pants on" and steals some food, catching the attention of Corphish who can't believe anyone would dare to steal food that didn't belong to them.
Corphish is a hypocrite as well as a jerk!
Team Rocket enter the cockpit and quickly tie up Max and Tate, and James sticks Chimecho up onto the roof like it was a hood ornament before they... blast off! Successfully!
The shuttle’s fuel tanks fall away as the shuttle soars majestically through the air (knocking Corphish into a wall as it crawls through the vents) and then.... stops! In mid-air!
The Baltoy are holding it in place, while inside Corphish pops out of the vent and warns Max to be quiet as it tries to free them. Team Rocket meanwhile are trying to get rid of the Baltoy by having Chimecho use Astonish... except before it can, Tate has Solrock use Psychic to crash them around the cockpit and then headfirst into each other, knocking them out cold!
So Team Rocket are out but the shuttle is still in midair, and we discover for the first time that the woman from the start is Tate and Liza's parents. Commander Jim tells them that they will have to pilot the shuttle to a safe landing as the Baltoy can't bring them down. Liza freaks out because she knows what a useless sack of shit her brother is, but Tate insists he has logged plenty of time on the simulator and that's just like real life in every way without exception! Max offers to help with his pathetically weak arms and with Jim's instructions they begin bringing the shuttle in.... the jerkish Corphish unable to resist reaching for a big bright shiny button and getting its claw slapped away by Max.
Against all odds and possibility, the shuttle lands safely and Team Rocket stumble out straight into two angry "big" sisters who use their Pokémon to blast and ice the fuck out of them before Pikachu Iron-Tails them into blasting off again... without a shuttle!
Luckily the shuttle had a spare set of giant fuel tanks put aside and as the sun sets he is already taking off into the sky without bothering to stick around to debrief his son or check on the condition of the shuttle. As it blasts away, Commander Jim's children seem unconcerned with the potential death of their father as they eagerly encourage Ash to prepare for his Gym Battle against them. Ash is too stupid to be worried or concerned about fighting two Gym Leaders at the same time, and as Commander Jim flies towards the vast emptiness of space and possible death in a defective shuttle, we can see that the show has finally put Team Magma/Aqua behind it and learned to focus on the really important things.
Gym Battles!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Da Boss will feel so calm and at peace wif da universe dat he'll begin tah devise a plan, a glorious new plan tah crush all enemies and tah rule da entire galaxy!" "Keep your space pants on!" |
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