367: Training Wrecks
Dodgy Synopsis
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370: Kinniku Batoru!? Daburu Batoru!
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Ash is excited, finally another Gym Battle, but it's never as easy as that, as we sadly know. With a name like Muscle Island, you can guarantee that they'll be forced into some kind of retarded training regime, and by "one night's sleep later", they'll be....
They walk along the rocks, May complaining that she's thirsty, Brock noting they haven't seen any people yet. They hear the noise of people just then in fact, a group of calls of, "ONE TWO! ONE TWO!", and they head to investigate.
Meanwhile on the beach, Team Rocket wash ashore in their Magikarp Submarine, scrambling out in a panic as James screams it is going to blow! They hide behind the rocks, waiting for the explosion, waiting and waiting and.... it never comes. Peeking out, they question why they ran out in such a panic, and Meowth complains that it was James who said it was about to go up. Just then a wave washes over the sub and drags it back into the ocean, sinking it as Team Rocket watch in shock.... their submarine!
Furious at James, Jesse demands an explanation and he insists that Meowth said they were sinking. Meowth cockily reminds them that he was the one who noticed water filling the sub, to which THEY remind him that this was due to him opening a window.
Was the Submarine made by Polish people?
Just then they hear the same, "ONE TWO! ONE TWO!" chanting that the twerps heard, and we finally get to see what was causing it.
Weirdoes, that's what!
The twerps are confused, is it a Gym? Are they Pokemon Trainers? One particularly muscular young man in a tight shirt and buttock clinging pants is shouting instructions when he spots the twerps. He asks if they came to join his Gym, but they admit they stumbled upon it by accident, and learn that the Gym is the ONLY habitation on Muscle Island. There's the port for the ferry, otherwise it's just rocks, a small forest, and the Gym Trainers working their muscles because "Pokemon can't succeed if their trainers aren't fit!". There's not even a restaurant or general store, the trainers all bring what they need to survive with them when they come to the island, and the twerps' own supplies are dwindling.
Luckily for the freeloaders, the Muscle Man - Rocky - is more than willing to share what they have, on the proviso that they share stories of their journey, especially the type of Pokemon they have met, battles they've had, strengths and weaknesses they have observed. The twerps introduce themselves, and Rocky tells them that the ferry won't arrive for awhile, so while they're waiting why not take part in some exercise! After all, they just told him they're hungry and have no food, so now is the best time to partake in strenuous physical exercise in the hot summer sun!
Max tells May that it makes sense, and maybe if she was in better shape (most people don't have a problem with her shape) she wouldn't have screwed up at her last contest. Dumb ol' Ash is more than eager to take part, and Max and Brock both agree, leaving a confused May the odd one out. She mumbles that maybe she'll just watch the boys get all limber, sweaty and oiled up before deciding to take part.
Speaking of watching oiled up muscle men, Jesse, James and Meowth all have delighted expressions on their faces as they watch from the bushes. They were eager for food, now there's a chance for Pikachu too! But Meowth has a better idea, they'll take part in the training too! And become big and muscular themselves!
Why? Because patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy, that's why!
A delighted Meowth coos as he imagines Giovanni awakening one morning convinced he is being watched, and frantically checking for bugs and hidden cameras around his bedroom. Jesse asks Meowth where he gets "these stories", but the feverish, lovestruck cat continues, explaining that The Boss realises at last that he is living a life of stress and he needs to relax.... so why not get bodyguards? Big, strong bodyguards!
Jesse, James and Meowth bodyguards!
The now musclebound Team Rocket members are there to keep him relaxed, and a joyous fantasy Giovanni declares that for this he will give them all huge promotions (from being bodyguards?)! Meowth leaps high in delight shouting out how things will work out for them, but Jesse screams him down, pointing out angrily that none of this bizarre, disturbingly sexual fantasy will ever come true. He mumbles that maybe the gold plated bathroom part might happen when suddenly James gets into the idea! Yes, they WILL get physically fit, because it's physical fitness that causes them to lose to the twerps! As he thinks about being oiled up and muscular, his eyes start flaming, and then he begins flaming himself (as if he ever stops!) as he shouts out they will finally have victory.... and it seems all the shouting coming from only a few feet from the trainers finally catches the attention of a Gym Bunny, who steps over to introduce himself, he's Randy (I bet he is!) and he bets they're anxious.
And James declares he is, he just wants to be shown the way!
Meanwhile, Max is trying to pick up his balls but they're too heavy, and a grown up squats down beside him to helGETCHAMINDSOUTTADAGUTTA! It's a 30 pound iron Pokeball, designed to be lifted because it will make it easier to handle real Pokeballs. Meanwhile a lady is explaining to May why an Exercycle that builds leg strength is so handy, since the body is constantly in motion moving about during a Contest or a battle.
We'll throw in a screenshot here, Gentle Dodgers, just as a reminder that 10 year old May has been drawn here with tits jut as big as a fully grown woman's.
Ash and Pikachu are holding onto two dangling ropes being spun by machines, as Pikachu and Ash both try to grab the other's rope at the same time, which Rocky tells them will build rapport between two Pokemon. Just then Brock hears familiar voices and turns to see the Team Rocket trio running on treadmills, surprised at how much fun they're having. The twerps move over towards them, surprised to see them, but Team Rocket ignore them to keep on running, so the twerps tell Rocky that they're "up to no good".
Rocky, thankfully, doesn't just take the word of a bunch of kids as the law, noting that they haven't done anything wrong AND they're obviously enjoying their workout. That leaves the twerps to stand and stare, not sure how to deal with a Team Rocket that isn't attacking them or causing any trouble. As they run, James thinks to himself that he'll soon be so fit that he'll be made leader of the team by Giovanni. Jesse thinks that she'll soon have a body so desirable that she'll become a movie star or fashion model immediately. Meowth thinks... he's hungry, and would like a funnel-cake!
Begrudgingly the twerps admit that Team Rocket aren't doing anything bad..... yet..... and then Rocky suggests to Ash that he combat Ash in a Gym Battle, good practise for both of them! And besides, Rocky will enjoy beating someone he hasn't beaten before!
He laughs and his teeth glint, while May comments on his "attitude", but they agree that it will be fun to watch the battle. Rocky tells them that's a no-no, however, all battles are done without watchers, so this sweaty, muscle obsessed single male will just take the ten year boy Ash alone into the woods where no one is allowed to watch or interfere no matter what noises they hear.
Make of that, what you will.
Rocky takes Ash away, and Brock says at least now they can relax, until the other trainers insist they work out some more, and take them away with them. That leaves Team Rocket on their treadmills, Meowth noting that a battle is about to take place, and all they have to do is wait for Pikachu to get tired out and then pounce! But Jesse and James don't share his natural cat instincts, they're enthralled in their workout, leaving Meowth to bemoan he's the only one with his mind on their jobs!
At a beach where two Samurai might once have battled for hours, Ash and Rocky prepare to face off. Rocky suggests that instead of a normal battle they have a double battle, two on two, and sends out a Walrein and Quagsire. Ash sends in Pikachu and Grovyle, and orders a Thunderbolt on Walrein, but Quagsire protects it, surprising Ash who can't understand it.... until he remembers that Quagsire is part Ground Type. Rocky laughs that he wouldn't send in two Water Types without having a strategy to deal with Ash's Pikachu, then arrogantly proclaims that this shouldn't last too much longer, causing Ash to frown.... he'll just see about that!
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE COMES FIRST? POLIWAG, POLIWHIRL, OR POLIWRATH? IF YOU CHOSE POLIWAG, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU FIGURED OUT THAT THINGS TEND TO GET BIGGER AS THEY GET OLDER!
Brock, May and Max are doing situps with Geodudes holding their legs in place, while Jesse and Meowth are starting to lose their enthusiasm for running place, while James continues to embrace it, declaring he can feel his youth returning!
Well yes, there are a certain, ahem, type that embrace physical fitness, you know....
Back at the battle, Rocky orders an Ice Ball, but Pikachu and Grovyle dodge with Quick Attack and use Iron Tail and Leaf Blade. Rocky has his Pokemon swap places though, causing Pikachu and Grovyle to slam into each other, and Rocky laughs that if your Pokemon aren't in perfect synch in a tag battle, they'll lose. Walrein tries an Ice Ball again, but Pikachu dodges and blasts with Thunderbolt, and Quagsire blocks it again. The Ice Ball crashes between Pikachu and Grovyle, and Rocky mumbles that he should have known Ash wouldn't be a challenge, but he was just hoping for someone to take it to him. He'd even considered leaving the island to compete on the Mainland, but it seems Mainland Trainers aren't all they're cracked up to be.
Well that's it, Ash can handle a lot of things, but someone insulting the skill of the trainers on the mainland of a region he is only visiting briefly before returning home? That dog won't hunt, monsignor!
Meanwhile, Max, May and Brock are.... doing push-ups!
Max's arms are sure, May's back is breaking, and Brock (who always thought he'd be raising up and down like this with May UNDERNEATH him, not beside him) says his spleen hurts, and he doesn't even know what that is! Meanwhile, Jesse is hating running, Meowth is resigned to just stumbling along, while James continues to excel. Jesse and Meowth want to book, but they're surrounded by the Gym Trainers, so Jesse comes up with a brilliant plan... she shouts, "UFO!" and points into the sky. The Gym Trainers all look around and Jesse and Meowth prepare to make a break for it, but James is as fooled as the others, looking around and shouting out too loudly that he can't see anything. Their chance lost, Jesse and Meowth continue to stagger against the relentless grind of the treadmill.
Back at the battle, Ash orders a Bullet Seed from Grovyle, but Walrein dodges and blasts a bigger Iceball. Pikachu and Grovyle try to blast it working together, but Ice Ball gets stronger each time it is used, and the next one is going to be even more powerful! But Ash is determined that the battle isn't over yet.
At the Gym, Max has an idea, telling their trainers that he wants to go and get something from their boat. One of the trainers offers to get it for them, but they insist it is really big and hard to describe, and they scoop up their bags and head away as the trainers sadly note that they "were just getting started". As the twerps leave, Meowth and James decide to take a leaf out of their book and claim they left the oven on and forgot to water the plants, and again James doesn't get it, insisting that their sub is on the bottom of the ocean an-
"NO THIS WORKOUT'S OVER!" scream Jesse and Meowth, who have had ENOUGH!
Meanwhile, Ash is trying to figure out how to stop Ice Ball, and when one is blasted out his Pokemon are able to dodge it. Noticing they were able to dodge, he realises that the bigger the Ice Ball, the slower it moves, and when Rocky arrogantly orders another, Ash calls for Thunderbolt. Quagsire jumps in the way, but Ash takes the chance to order a Leafblade from Grovyle, and it looks INCREDIBLY satisfied to punch Quagsire RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE, followed by Walrein getting blasted with a million volts of electricity, exploding its heart in its chest as it falls, along with Rocky's perfect record!
Ash congratulates Pikachu and a self-satisfied Grovyle on their one-hit KO's n Rocky's Pokemon, and Rocky follows up by congratulating Ash for being the first person to notice that Ice Ball is slower each time. Ash reveals that he is far from the strongest Trainer from the "mainland", and Rocky decides it is time to head out there and undertake his own training journey. The twerps arrive and ask Ash if his battle is over, and Rocky admits it was the best battle he ever lost!
As the sun sets, we find the twerps on the ferry to Mossdeep at last, looking forward to finally getting to Ash's seventh Gym Battle. But as they talk, Team Rocket approach, in the WORST disguises they've ever had.
Nothing at all suspicious about a blue haired man with a grey moustache or a red-haired "man" with a grey moustache, long flowing red hair, lipstick and a gigantic set of firm, ripe tits!
Jesse and Meowth are still aching from their training, but James insists it was worth it as he uses his new muscles to.... tell Ash that no Pokemon are allowed on the ferry on Tuesday's and Thursday's, so they'll have to hold onto it. He reaches out and tries to grab Pikachu, Ash trying to swat away his arm as they struggle and he demands to know what is going on.
"Prepare for trouble, this is no pleasure cruise!"
"Make it double, you gave me a bruise!"
"WAAAAAIT, NOT DA MOTTO!" snaps Meowth, "WOT'S DA POINT DEN OF DA SKIPPER DISGUISES!?!"
Jesse admits that she felt the moustache look wasn't working for her, and her and James tear their clothes of (hey hey!) to reveal their regular costumes underneath (awww).
"To protect the world from getting fat."
"To unite all peoples or crush 'em flat."
"To run on the treadmill of truth and love."
"To shine with sweat like stars above."
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Team Rocket works out at the speed of light."
"Surrender to our superior conditioning or prepare to fight!"
"Daaaat's right!"
"WOBBA! WOBBA!"
"Chime chime!"
"AHH! TEAM ROCKET!" shout the twerps, as if they only JUST realised.
Determined that their workout will give them the extra strength they need, Jesse tosses a net over Pikachu and hauls back on it, but Ash grabs the net and tugs back the other way. So it's Team Rocket in a tug of war with the twerps, both of them hauling on the net holding Pikachu which is stretched between them, sparking with agitation.
Finally enough is enough and Pikachu blasts them all with electricity, sending Team Rocket blasting off again..... but blasting off the twerps as well!
The Ferry continues on none the wiser, leaving behind the twerps still unseen, their landing point not clear, but the only thing around for miles is ocean! As the ferry disappears and the TO BE CONTINUED... sign comes up, could this be the end for the twerps?
Well, no... of course not, that would be stupid, but tune in next episode to find out what happens anyway!
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