363: Judgment Day! |
Dodgy Synopsis
Oh dear, who's to blame? Who will be judged guilty for this detour? It's.... They disembark at the island, Max and Brock saying that with no direct route to Mossdeep Island, they'll have to go to another island and THEN to Mossdeep (they could just catch the boat back and get the right one), but May - who has gotten what she wanted in her ribbon - is more than happy to do some island hopping. She spots an Ivysaur going by laden down with goods and comments she has never seen such a small Venusaur, and Max sighs and corrects her. A Charmeleon goes by and she comments on the size of the Charmander, and again gets corrected by Max. Finally a Wartortle goes by and May thinks something has gone wrong with that Squirtle's tail. Max smugly informs her it's a Blastoise, then grunts as he realises that HE fucked up, and Brock identifies it correctly as a Wartortle. A young man runs after the three yelling at them to wait up, then trips and drops the boxes he was carrying. He gets back up and tells the twerps he is fine, then tells them that his name is Jimmy and the three Pokemon belong to him. He asks if they are going to try and join the school too and the four children freak out at the idea of someone finally noticing they haven't attended a class or done an exam in years, till Jimmy tells them he means the Pokemon Battle Judge Training Institute. You have to go to school for that? Man, Brock's just been freelancing the whole time. He, the twerps and the Pokemon all march on up to the school where instructors have trainees lined up in formation like Han's troops in Enter the Dragon, short only a crazy old dude with a claw for a hand and a big bearded bastard who tried to rape Brock's sister only she committed honourable suicide instead. Jimmy says it is the only institute in the world where you can become a Judge (the rest of the world just lets anybody do the difficult task of holding up flags and pointing out that a Pokemon has been beaten into unconsciousness) and introduces Professor Serena.... much to Brock's delight, even more so when she declares she is a needy teacher! She was of course talking about Ash being a Pokemon Trainer and giving trainee judges a chance to learn the practical applications of lifting up a flag and saying,"This guy done gone and won!", and Max drags away Brock "to the principal's office". But as Brock demands that he wants to help teacher, out in the water inside their Magikarp Submarine, Meowth is schooling Jesse and James with another patented Meowth Crazy Giovanni Fantasy, as he tells them of his fantasy of satisfying the Boss with a Charmeleon, Wartortle and Ivysaur. Why, imagine all the paperwork Giovanni has to deal with, Meowth suggests, as we see fantasy Giovanni stamping paper after paper out of giant stacks of reports, requisitions and requests. But then he turns and sees the three Pokemon just.... well.... standing there not doing anything, and that reignites a fire in his belly as he remembers his early days training in Kanto and he looks more like Vince McMahon than ever before! With renewed vigour, Giovanni returns to stamping those papers faster, while declaring that Meowth and friends will be made successful beyond their wildest dreams! Well Jesse and James are all for this, of course, even though this fantasy makes even less sense than usual! Back at the institute, Ash and Brock are preparing to have a Double Battle with the acting Judge to be Jimmy (Serena's pet, apparently). Ash calls out Corphish and Swellow, and Brock calls on Lombre and Mudkip. Jimmy tells them to begin, and Ash sends his Pokemon in, their attacks pushing a guarding Lombre back until Mudkip gets in on support. Swellow comes in with Aerial Ace and knocks both opponents down and May and Max are delighted, but Serena is busy snapping at Jimmy to pay attention to Lombre and Mudkip to see if they're out or not. They both get back up, only for Lombre to be knocked back down by Corphish. Brock yells at it to stay down and Jimmy is confused, it wasn't hit THAT hard was it? Swellow comes in with Wing Attack but Brock makes the call for it to get back up and use Razor Wing for a direct hit on Lombre, forcing it to land. Jimmy is sweating, not sure if he should have called Lombre out or not, and then Corphish is knocked silly by a double attack by Brock's Pokemon and Jimmy freaks out and calls out that Corphish is unable to battle.... and Ash yells at him he's gone too soon. Jimmy is unsure, Corphish looks down but.... wait, it's back up! Oh man, Jimmy sucks! Serena tells him he went too early (it's a problem for younger guys!) and notes that Corphish is a Water-Type so a Water Move wouldn't hurt it too badly, and while it is okay to fuck up now while in training, he has to get those fuck-ups out of the way before he becomes official. Later that night, the twerps sit up in their room talking about how prestigious and rare it is to become an official League Judge - only the best of the best get picked for their ability to hold up flags when small animals get knocked the fuck out. Pikachu spots something outside, and they look out and see Jimmy sitting on a rock surrounded by Ivysaur, Wartortle and Charmeleon. They head outside and ask him what he's doing, and when he tries to say he's fine, Ash apologises for all his "complaining" earlier in the fight. He says it is his fault, and says he was talking through it with his Pokemon before telling them he was once a Pokemon Trainer like Ash, traveling from town to town, and those were the best times of his life. So why the fuck did he try to become a judge? A mysterious shadowy mechanical monstrosity emerges silently from the water down at the beach, but back in the forest Jimmy is telling about how he first started with Squirtle and after it evolved into a Wartortle, they "bumped into" Ivysaur and Charmeleon. Brock says you don't just "bump" into evolved Pokemon like that, but it's true. Jimmy tells them how he got lost and he and Wartortle were arguing over trying to give the other their last sandwich (maybe Wartortle just didn't like the taste?) when they dropped it and it fumbled straight into Ivysaur's happily yawning mouth. It was so grateful for their unintended generosity that it guided them out of the forest and they were never parted. Next he tells them how he met Charmeleon, as one day he fell into a river and had to be dragged out by his Pokemon (so essentially he's a retard?) with what looked like a swollen belly but turned out to be a Magikarp stuck up his shirt.... a golden Magikarp! A passing Magikarp fanatic (no, not the Mexican Magikarp Salesman) happened by, saw it, and immediately begged to trade it for his Charmeleon, which sure must have made Charmeleon feel good about itself. But that's where Jimmy's luck ran out, he never managed to win even won badge.... and then shows them a badge! Not just any badge either, but the Cerulean Gym's Cascade Badge - the badge from Misty's Gym! He must have won it surely, but no, he explains how he bumped into Daisy who used her natural charisma (tits) to get him and his Pokemon to clean out her pool and in exchange gave him the Badge because "Misty wasn't around to battle at the time". May says he must be the luckiest guy they've ever met, but Jimmy points out that he still hasn't won a single Pokemon Battle. In fact, when he arrived in Lilycove on a boat, he and his Pokemon fell asleep and the boat drifted off and ended up at the island and he kind of just stumbled into being a Trainee Judge. He says that even that isn't going well - all they have to do is lift a flag! - and maybe he won't ever be a good trainer OR judge, and then Professor Serena steps up and says that might just be true! Wow, what a bitch! But she says that he DOES have an organ as big and as giving as she's ever seen, one that involves pumped blood and that she seems to find enticing..... GETCHA MINDA OUTTA DA GUTTA! She's talking about his heart, and the twerps agree that is important too (yes, for losers having heart is very important, you'll notice that really successful people who get everything on a silver platter normally don't have character depth, because why would they need to? They're hot!), and then mechanical arms come crashing down and grab up Jimmy's Pokemon! THAT managed to sneak up on them? "Prepare for trouble it's a triple play!" "And make it double it's a three for one day!" "To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "Jesse." "And James." "Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light." "Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight and fight!" "Daaaaat's right!" It's Team Rocket.... about time! The three Pokemon are put into the "Pokeballs" of the Tri-Fi Pokeballer Mark I and laugh off Jimmy's claims that they're stealing (like that's a bad thing? asks Jesse) and then they take off. Jimmy chases after, leaping onto the back of the massive tank and leaving behind the twerps eating dust. Team Rocket are enjoying having a plan that actually worked for once, but their celebrations are broken up when they hear Jimmy hammering on one of the "Pokeballs", and Meowth sets the Mech shaking until he is shaken loose and sent crashing back into the chasing twerps. He moans that he couldn't save them, but Serena tells him that he has to remember his kind heart, it wasn't "luck" that brought his Pokemon to him, but his kind heart - he makes his own destiny! He spots his Pokemon all fighting to get loose and goes charging back in, only for Meowth to casually flick him away with a mechanical arm. Unfortunately, that just serves to enrage his Pokemon, and their reaction isn't good news for Team Rocket. Oh man, Team Rocket are so fucked and they KNOW they're fucked! Blastoise leaps down with a crashing thud and Serena tells Jimmy to give it instructions. It blasts at the Mech with Hydro pump and frees Ivysaur and Charmeleon, and then all three Pokemon let loose at Jimmy's command, sending Team Rocket blasting off again, and showing that the animators saved their best efforts today on animating Jesse's skirt trying to flip up. Oh like you wouldn't. Serena tells Jimmy that Blastoise evolved because it saw how hard he was fighting for it, but he's not sure. The twerps insist though, but as May checks out Blastoise with her Pokedex, Serena tells Jimmy that he has to leave the Institute. The twerps can't believe it, but she insists that he has a ton of potential, she just thinks it would be best if he returned to being a Pokemon Trainer for now and it's not you it's me and we need to see other people to strengthen our relationship and.... seriously Jimmy, you're a nice guy with a lot of heart, but you FUCKING SUCK! So they return to the ferry, with Jimmy to return to Lilycove and the twerps to head on to Mossdeep. As they part ways, we reach the end of Advanced Challenge as well. It wasn't exactly the best way to end this season - May's ribbon win would have made more sense - but it has shown us something fairly clearly. Heart counts for a lot, but it doesn't win you matches, and you need underlying talent too. For all that Ash seems to choke and lose the big events; no one could ever argue that he doesn't have talent. So while Jimmy goes on being a nice guy with heart who keeps losing at everything, Ash's story is.... See you in Advanced Battle!
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