362: Lessons in Lilycove |
Dodgy Synopsis
Unfortunately for May, she hasn't seemed to have learnt from her own experience as her Combusken fucked up her opening as the first Coordinator to appear in the contest, with a Fire Spin spinning out of control towards her as the episode ended. Now it's time to find out if she will learn from.... The Fire Spin blasts towards May, but Combusken leaps in front of it and then May orders a Peck that breaks up the flame into tendrils of fire, and then fire Spins the raining flames back under control, turning a terrible situation to her advantage, which Nurse Joy refers to as "finding the beauty in danger" Kinky bitch. Outside, Ash is impressed by May's recovery but he still isn't making any move to go back in there and watch his friend compete in person. Inside, Combusken finishes with a dramatic flourish and May gets a 23.6 overall due to Mr. Contesta being an asshole who points out how she fucked up her beginning despite her excellent recovery. May tells Combusken not to worry, they'll make it to the next round, but Brock and Max aren't too sure. Backstage, May tells Kelly that she DID actually lose control but was inspired by Combusken jumping between them, and Kelly says that THIS inspires her, and Jesse overhears in the background and thinks to herself that SHE is inspired too because of May's shitty score. Outside, Swellow is trying Aerial Ace and fucking up again as it crashes into the low rope and glares angrily at it, wanting to pick a fight with an inanimate object, just like any other drunken Scotsman. Ash tells it that it needs to relax and not get upset or it'll keep screwing up, then admits that people are always telling him this. He overhears on the big screen that now Kelly is up, and turns to watch, which is being done by other people outside who would kill for the now vacant seat that he happily gave up. Kelly and her bizarre pig come out, the manipulative pig bouncing on its springy tail. She scatters Pokeblock across the arena and Grumpig uses Psychic to lift them up into the air and send them spinning in formation, then juggling them as Kelly calls on the crowd to clap along and chant,"Go! Go! Go!" Wow.... what a shitty act. But the audience interaction works well for Kelly, who finishes off with Bounce as Grumpig swallows up all the Pokeblock and takes a bow. Everyone applauds because they feel good, but they've been manipulated by a bizarre pig, and Kelly scores a ridiculously high 27.7 That bizarre, manipulative pig. Backstage, May congratulates Kelly on her performance who admits that it took her months to get that shitty, shitty act together. Now it is May's turn to claim inspiration, saying that she just has to get into the second round, has to has to has tohastoHASTO! Meanwhile, Swellow manages to clear under the rope to Ash's delight. But it is so busy being pleased with itself as Ash shouts out encouragement that it turns to look back at him and flies directly into a tree with a squawk. Ash checks it is okay, then tells it that he is proud of running headfirst into a tree (just like its trainer!) and that now it has the flying low part down, it's time to work on hitting that target. Inside the contest, "Jessefina" is up now, the last of the Coordinators in Round One. James is terrified for Chimecho, but luckily it remains cheerful despite Jesse's scowl and demands for a Healing Bell. Waves of healing energy roll over the crowd and the judges, while backstage Kelly tells May that a Chimecho's Healing Bell improves based on the love a trainer feels for the Pokemon. Given the way everyone is reacting, Chimecho and Jessefina must love each other alot, none of them aware it is all down to James. Everyone is rapt with the display, smiling and happy an- "Kinda boring," grunts Jesse, startling the MC, and then declares she wants to see something exciting, wild and mysterious! So she grabs it by the tail, tells it she wants Astonish and squeeze-tugs its body like she's icing a cake! It squeals in pain and red waves of pain wash across the crowd, causing them (and the Judges) distress while Jesse shouts out that this is more interesting, squeezing so hard that outside even Ash, Swellow and Pikachu are affected. Finally, mercifully, the pain ends and it is time for the Judges to make their call. And they do, giving Jesse scores of..... 10.0! And..... 10.0! And..... 10.0! May and Kelly can't believe it, but Mr. Contesta explains that the sudden shift from soothing to painful was a departure from the norm and showed the bravery of a Coordinator willing to do the unexpected, and they wanted to reward that. Well..... that's just what Jesse wanted to hear, she's perfect! Meowth suggests that Jesse might be a better combo with Chimecho than James is with the Pokemon, and a furious James snarls back at him that Chimecho loves only him! But now it is time to see who will make it into the second round, as the top eight are announced, and they include Jesse (of course), Kelly, some nobody nerds and..... May! May is delighted to make it through, and then the coordinators are randomly allocated, with neither May, Kelly or Jesse being teamed against each other. That means, of course, that the only way they can meet is by making it through to the Final, and May and Kelly both declare they'll see the other there, while Jesse is quietly confident she will be smirking at all the losers as she fights her way through the supremacy. Outside, Swellow is now clearing the rope each time but missing the target, and Roger/Vladmir arrives on the scene (he's probably been inside watching) and notes Ash's training, and suggests that he might want to think about a signal for Swellow so it will know to switch from concentrating on flying to concentrate on fighting. Timing is critical, but the use of a signal might also help the Pokemon to feel that it and the trainer are in on this together. Inside, May, Kelly and Jessefina have all made it to the Final Four, with May to face Jessefina and Kelly to face someone who looks like a long lost Brock cousin. May/Jessefina kicks things off with five minutes, Combusken against Chimecho. Combusken hits fast with a Quick Attack and Jesse orders a Wrap Attack from the floating testicle's skinflap. With Combusken wrapped up, it can't fight back and May is steadily losing points. May orders Peck to recover, and Chimecho realises that the Wrap Attack has brought it in too close to its opponent and unable to escape. In short, fucked. James squeals in horror and covers his eyes, and Combusken kicks Chimecho free before May orders Fire Spin. "She's using FIRE!?!" squeals James. Flames spin around the terrified Chimecho, trapping it within the flames, and James' reaction is a bit of a turn-off. Jesse is losing points fast and is furious at her "ridiculous Pokemon" until she remembers James telling her in no uncertain terms not to use Double Edge... so she tells it to use Double Edge! James bursts into tears and Meowth sighs to a delighted Wobbuffet that they can say goodbye to Chimecho, since a Double Edge comes back hard on the Pokemon that uses it. Chimecho misses anyway, and Combusken smacks it so hard that it bounces off of Jesse's head and knocks her out too, ending up draped over one breast (oh like you wouldn't) as the Judges shrug and signal the knock out. As May celebrates being in the Final, outside Ash is giving Swellow the signal to attack after flying under the rope, but it only jiggles the target as it strikes a glancing blow flying underneath. Ash is getting disenchanted, but Ralph tells him not to lose heart, they've ALMOST got it but they just have to get their timing right. Oh, he wanted the RIGHT timing? Well that changes everything! Ash tells Swellow to do it again and.... it does! See, you just had to say so, Ralph! Ash, Pikachu and Swellow celebrate, but Ralph says they have to keep going, they've perfected their timing but they need to make it second nature by practising again and again. Ash has Swellow fly up for Aerial Ace again, as the camera shows Team Rocket leaving the Contest, Jesse back in uniform and furious at losing "because" Chimecho's Double Edge missed. James - hugging Chimecho to his bosom - sniffs at her not to blame Chimecho, and she stomps on ahead with shoulders squared and arms swinging. Pikachu gets Ash's attention and he turns to the big screen to see that Kelly has made it through to the Final as well and will face May for the Ribbon. But as Ash pays attention to that, he isn't paying attention to Swellow which misses its target and crashes through the bushes straight into Team Rocket.... and sends them blasting off again! That'll learn 'em for.... uhh.... walking! Ash heads back inside in time for the Final, which must REALLY piss off those who didn't get tickets, and Max asks how the training went. He says he thinks he has it down, although he obviously hasn't done all the repetition training he was told to do, but maybe he figures if Team Rocket got blasted off then everything must be okay. May calls out Combusken and Kelly calls on Grumpig as the timer starts ticking down from five minutes. Grumpig tries Iron Tail but Combusken blocks it and... oh... (snicker) Kelly loses points and Combusken follows up with Fire Spin, but Grumpig uses Psychic to turn the flames into a flaming dragon that rushes straight at Combusken, a visually impressive move indeed.... but May doesn't lose her cool, since this is purely a variation of what happened to her in the first round. She orders a Sky Uppercut, and Combusken smashes through the dragon and turns it into embers. Kelly doesn't lose her cool either though, having Grumpig use Psychic directly on Combusken, lifting it squawking and kicking into the air which causes May to lose massive points and the laws of time to be shattered as suddenly there is just over a minute left in the Contest Battle. It seems May is fucked (not like that, pervert!) since any move she can use will just be reversed with Psychic, but then May figures that might be used to her advantage. Grumpig bounces and May orders Fire Spin, so Grumpig uses Psychic on it which lifts it up higher and higher.... just like May intended! So close to the ceiling, Combusken's Fire Spin blasts off and rains flames down onto Grumpig which swipes frantically at the flames, this manipulative pig not wanting to become bacon. Kelly loses points and things are roughly even, and Brock smugly tells the others that now May is two moves ahead of Kelly, and though she might not know it herself, but she's already got this won. Grumpig's Psychic releases as it is knocked out by the flames, and both Pokemon fall towards the ground.... and Combusken uses Fire Spin to blast the earth and slow their descent as it grabs Grumpig and saves it. It's a visually impressive move to finish the match as the counter runs down, and leaves the normally smug, bizarre pig looking shocked.... it just got manipulated into a loss! May wins! The twerps and the Judges are impressed, May didn't have to save Grumpig, in fact she could have just out and out beat the shit out of it while it was down. She's a credit to all big-breasted ten year old girls everywhere, and they happily award her the Lilycove Ribbon.... her third ribbon! The twerps and Kelly congratulate May, Kelly telling her that she'll learn from this defeat and be stronger the next time they meet, and May tells her she learned something to. And so did we Gentle Dodgers.... we'll never see Kelly again, because she's a loser with a bizarre pig. Enjoy getting fat like your Mum and living the rest of your life in Lilycove tending shop and thinking of a life you weren't quite good enough to live! And THAT, Gentle Dodgers, is your moral of the day. Not everybody's dream can come true, especially when the prize can be awarded to the chick with the big tits instead.
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