361: Pokeblock, Stock and Berry
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364: Minamo Shiti touchaku! Porokku to tsubame gaeshi!
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They continue on along the seaside road towards a restaurant famous for omelet’s, but are distracted by Pikachu running off excited by the sweet smell of berries. The twerps follow, discovering a farmers market of berries, which Lilycove is apparently famous for. They overhear a young lady with purple hair, a pink ribbon and a bizarre purple pig with black balls on its head arguing with a vendor over the price of the berries and yelling as loud as they can to everyone not to buy from him, grinning stupidly as they do it as they enjoy wrecking a young poor man's business.
The twerps are distracted from this by a man offering free samples of berry, giving one to Pikachu which enjoys it. Ash figures if Pikachu likes it, so will he, and before Brock can protest he gulps it down.
"SOUUUUURRRR!" he shouts, twitching in horror and collapsing to his knees and the sampler man tells him that they're delicious for Pokemon, not humans. He gives Ash a bit of berry to nullify the effect, and then the purple haired girl comes storming through shouting out to people to watch where she is going because she sure isn't, only to become unbalanced and stumble backwards, tripping and dropping all the berries through the air..... but then the bizarre pig uses bizarre-pig powers to freeze the fruit and replace it in the bag.
Max identifies Bizarre-Pig as a Grumpig, and the move it used to freeze the berries as Psychic. As the crowd applauds, the girl - who fell flat on her face - staggers up and thanks them all, posing and beaming through her humiliation and tells them they'll be in the contest, please cheer for them!
May overhears and notes they'll be in the contest together, and the girl introduces herself as Kelly. Ash checks out Grumpig and they learn that it is a "manipulation" Pokemon, capable of using the black pearls on its head (pearls before swine indeed) to "manipulate" opponents. As they all chat, Team Rocket watch from the bushes.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking about Grumpig?" asks Jesse.
"If it's reminding you of my ex-fiancee, then yes," replies James.
Ahhh, Jessebelle, the insane dominatrix who wants to fuck James' ass till he went straight.
Meowth suggests that they give it to The Boss and they readily agree, all without the benefit of a patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy, while the camera cuts back to the twerps as Kelly explains that keeping Grumpig's black balls shiny is hard work.
Wow, that pig really is manipulative!
Upon learning that Kelly is skilled at making Pokeblock for her Pokemon, Brock and Max tell May that she has got quite a challenge ahead of her..... well, Brock does, Max just mocks her and tells her to kiss that third ribbon goodbye. But when Kelly hears about May's two, she becomes very excited, and her and Grumpig lunge for her breasts.
May pulls them out for Kelly and Grumpig to see, and they're enthralled.
"Well, here they are," smiled May, holding them before her.
"Wow, they're beautiful, May, both of them," whispers Kelly, reaching out timidly to touch them.
Yes, Kelly really likes May's ribbons. May explains that she's really not that good; it's more that her Pokemon try so hard for her, and she did terribly at the last contest she was in. Kelly then shows the one ribbon she has won, and their competitive streak comes out as they both declare they intend to win the Lilycove Ribbon.
Brock asks Kelly if she can tell them anything about the omelet recipe, and Kelly panics and slaps the guidebook shut, telling them to avoid the place. When they ask why, she gets out uneasily that it used to be good but has gone downhill, and May smugly (for some reason) says they probably got too big for their britches, and Max quips that this is just like May (too big for her bra, Max, not her britches). May grabs his ear angrily and Brock screams in pain clutching at his ears in a pavlovian response, causing everyone to stare dumbly at him as he realises that no one is tearing his earlobe off.... yet.
Kelly suggests that the twerps come home with her and try her Mum's home-made cooking, which is better than any old restaurant. Since the Mother surely won't mind suddenly having to cook up a meal for four kids and their Pokemon, they head over to Kelly's Mum's workplace.... a large Pokeblock Shop that makes and sells the best Pokeblock in town. They head in and Kelly's Mum gives a terrifying demonstration of the future awaiting hidden in Kelly's genes, a large boisterous lady storming through into her shop to see her daughter.
Ash's stomach grumbles as Kelly and her mother chat, and she takes them out back and prepares them a stew, which Ash and Pikachu gobble down hungrily while the others show a little more restraint and class. May watches Kelly's Mum head back into the store (or is fascinated by the size of her ass) and Kelly offers to give her a tour, then everyone turns in surprise to see Ash and Pikachu have finished their stew already and are up and ready to get some more training. Ash isn't in the Contest, but he still intends to prepare for his upcoming Gym Battle, wanting to teach Swellow Aerial Ace.
In the store, Kelly's Mum shows May, Max and Brock an odd quartet of berry blending machines and explain that they don't just make standard recipes, but specialty orders too. She suggests that May put together a Pokeblock and she'll sell it in the store for her!
So THAT is how she runs her business!
Brock wants to learn a few things too, but Max is more interested in watching Ash train. Outside, Ash has hung a stick from a tree and has Swellow fly and roll about to try Aerial Ace, but it doesn't quite pull it off as hoped.
Max shows up in time to see Ash's humiliation, and they run over to check on Swellow, whose face is completely battered and smashed. As they check it out, a hard looking old man steps up chuckling and tells them that they'll get Aerial Ace eventually, but at this rate it will take 100 years. They ask who he is, Max being a bit of a jerk and wanting to know if he is some kind of expert, but the old man lifts his head and reveals that once he was known as..... VLADMIR THE ATTACKER!
They're shocked, oh my God, HE was Vladmir the Attacker!?!?
Who the hell is Vladmir the Attacker?
"Yeah, well... I go by Ralph now," Vladmir grunts, then tells them he can still teach any Pokemon any attack, and the twerps (Pikachu and Swellow included) bow them to the legend (that apparently they've heard of) that is (was) Vladmir the Attacker!
Ash begs for his help in learning Aerial Ace, and he agrees, taking them to a training course specifically designed for Aerial Ace training. He has his Pidgeotto use Aerial Ace, explaining the mechanics of the move, Ash telling Swellow to watch closely as Pidgeotto executes the move to perfection, shattering the target.
Ralph asks if Ash and Swellow understand now, and Max speaks up out of place to reveal that he memorised the lesson. Ash just gapes the entire time, so Ralph has him get in some practical experience, setting up a pole to register a height for Swellow to fly at. Swellow flies under the bar easily, and then tries again this time barely scraping under, and then they lower it to almost floor level and Swellow clips a wing trying to fly under and crashes into the ground. They run to check on it, but Swellow refuses to give up, using drunken Scottish stubbornness to try again.
Back at the store, May has prepared the ingredients for the Pokeblock and set the blender to on, and she copies a simple chant that Kelly always uses "Be delicious!" before the little white blocks pop out. Kelly takes a bite and says that it is... a little weak. May tries a little and grunts that saying it is weak might be a little kind, and then Brock has an amazing, brilliant idea.
Try different ingredients!
Bra-fucking-vo, Brock.
Kelly says that because she often uses a different combination of berries, she keeps a record of the changes she makes to her recipe. May chooses that moment to panic as she admits that she doesn't have a recipe, just threw a bunch of crap in there and can't remember what it was.
So they move on to a taste test, Bulbasaur, Skitty, Beautifly and Combusken all trying some of the berries. Bulbasaur blanches, Skitty bravely chows through, Beautifly seems to like it and Combusken actually collapses onto its face, tears streaming down its face as it hammers at the ground with a fist as it struggles manfully to eat through the horrid mess.
Brock quips that at least now she doesn't have to be worried about having lost the recipe, and Kelly keeps offering encouragement to May, telling her she'll get it eventually. May asks how long it took Kelly to get her recipe right, and Kelly reveals that her mother never gave her any help, leaving her to experiment (hey hey!) until she figured out the correct way to make Pokeblock specifically suited to Grumpig.
Kelly tells May all about her small-town dream, to run the Pokeblock Shop for her mother and maybe teach people how to make Pokeblock. Since May is only ten (her breasts got a five year head start) and already had two ribbons, she must be committed to getting to the Grand Festival and becoming a Top Coordinator or maybe even an instructor or..... and May panics again, admitting that she (quite rightly) hasn't been thinking that far ahead.
For God's sake, when she started she just wanted to travel!
She tells Kelly for now they'll just keep traveling, there is a whole world out there that she and her Pokemon haven't seen yet, and small-town Kelly admits that maybe there is something to be said for not planning out your whole life in advance before you hit your teens. Grumpig snorts in agreement and a mechanical arm wraps around it, which is a bizarre thing to happen even to such a bizarre pig.
"Prepare for trouble and stick to Pokeblock making!"
"Make it double we're bringing home the bacon!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight for every last bite!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBA WOOBBBBA!"
Kelly demands her bizarre pig back but they're sure that giving the monstrosity to Giovanni will finally give them the success they've always wanted. But while May might now know what she wants to do with her life, she does know how to deal with Team Rocket. She has Combusken use Sky Uppercut to puncture the balloon, then Bulbasaur grabs up Grumpig with Vine Whip as it falls, and Beautifly uses Silver Wind to "stop Team Rocket getting away" (falling to their deaths) and instead sends them blasting off again!
Already!?!
Kelly thanks May for saving Grumpig, and tells her that Combusken's Sky Uppercut is very impressive, so May happily gives away her entire strategy for the Contest!
As the sun sets, Team Rocket aren't quite gone yet though. As Wobbuffet happily salutes beside them, Jesse, James and Meowth are trapped upside down in a trashcan arguing amongst themselves over who had what stuck where (Getcha minds outta da gutta!).
Jesse notices a flyer in the trash they're piled into, and picks it up to read, learning about the Lilycove Contest. She grunts that "that little twerp of a girl" will be in the contest and decides that she wants to be in it too to knock that smirk off of her face.
"Another contest?" sighs James.
Jesse insists, claiming that she intends to use Chimecho, forcing the issue on James after she reminds him that she let him borrow Dustox for the Pokeringer Contest. He's forced to admit she has a point, and instructs Chimecho to do whatever Jesse tells it, and it happily slaps its tail around his eyes in agreement.
The next day, the crowds are coming up to the Stadium as inside, Vivian welcomes those smart enough to have bought tickets before the day. She introduces the Judges, including the Token Nurse Joy, and the twerps sit up in their comped seats wondering how May will do.... until Ash up and declares he has training to do with Ralph and gets up and leaves.
Wow, what a jerk!
Meanwhile Wobbuffet is bravely and patiently saluting nothing as it sits beside Meowth and James, the latter praying that his Chimecho will come out of this okay.
Vivian shows off the Lilycove Ribbon, seen backstage by all the collected Coordinators including May and Kelly. Grumpig and Combusken share smiles at each other, it's all the picture of cooperation and good-natured rivalry.
Meanwhile, Jesse has cornered Chimecho in the deeper recesses in the Locker Room and looks set to rape the fuck out of the bobbing testicle.
"Now listen and listen good, you little floating handtowel," she hisses at the horrified Pokemon,"I better win or its curtains for you!"
May is out first as Coordinator Number One, and true to form she calls out Combusken as outside Ash watches on the big screen instead of from his comped seat that someone would have happily paid plenty of money for.
Combusken's entrance is (allegedly) excellent and follows up with a Fire Spin, but it's too much too soon, and it grows too large, May collapsing as the fires rush towards her. Is the Lilycove Contest about to be called off early due to the immolation of the first Coordinator?
We'll find out.... next episode!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "SOUUUUURRRR!" "Are you thinking what I'm thinking about Grumpig?" "If it's reminding you of my ex-fiancee, then yes." "Well, here they are,"Kelly - "Wow, they're beautiful, May, both of them!" "I was known as..... VLADMIR THE ATTACKER! .....I go by Ralph, now." |
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