358: Crazy As A Lunatone
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361: Shinpi! Uchuu kara kinada Pokemon!?
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Yes they're back! Once again with more gear than a couple of loser nerds should really have access to. They pull a multi-wheeled exploration tank out of their case and travel to the location of the asteroid crash, firing a rocket at it that breaks it open.... and from the debris emerges.... the moon!
Convinced it is a Pokemon from outer space, they try to grab it with mechanical hands, but it dodges and an angered expression crosses its alien.... well, not face, eye at least. It glows bright and the tank is lifted into the air, and they quickly fire off a capture beam that begins absorbing its energy, allowing them to be lowered to the ground. They keep pouring on the power, but the bizarre alien is having none of it, and it's eye glows a bright red that envelops the tank... and the Mystery Club freeze in place, mouths gaping, their eyes turned as red as the Lunatone's. It glares at the now frozen tank, then turns and begins floating.... towards a nearby small town!
Well, if Sci-Fi Horror movies have taught us anything, then some shit is about to go down involving hicks, horny teenagers and misunderstood alien monsters! That thing is pissed! It's as....
On a calm day, the twerps head on towards Volley Town, where May is as eager to strip naked and sink into hot water as about a million sad bastards watching this show are to see her do it. Ash - of course - doesn't get it; he just wants to give his Pokemon some rest. They continue on, while from the bushes alongside the road up pops Team Rocket, chowing down on riceballs. Jesse overheard the twerps talking, but Meowth doesn't care, he's gotten word (somehow) that a meteor crashed nearby recently, and there's money in that for them! Jesse doesn't get it though, how can there be money in a burnt out piece of space junk? But James says meteorite collectors will pay top dollar for anything that falls out of the sky, and they guess they can give it to the Boss and he'll consider it as good as being given a blank cheque!
Meanwhile, the twerps have arrived at Volley Town just as the sun is setting (which is usually when an episode ends) and found it oddly quiet, no people on the streets, tumbleweeds spilling across the main thoroughfare. Max suggests rather weakly that maybe everyone goes to bed early, and then they spot the bar-like Pokemon Centre, complete with swinging front doors. But inside the Centre is just as empty, and Brock figures they should just wait in the lobby.
But just then, a blank faced Nurse Joy steps out from a backroom to behind the reception desk, and asks with a stilted delivery what they want. They tell her they need to give their Pokemon a rest, but in that same stilted delivery she replies, "Sorry. Not. Today."
They're confused, and she haltingly tells them the equipment has all broken down. Oddly, none of them seeming to notice that her odd way of talking isn't the only concerning thing about her, what with her RED EYES OF THE DEVIL!
May asks for a room but is told that is impossible, they're booked up, and then walks out back again and slams the door behind her. They leave the Centre as it gets dark, feeling like something was wrong (HER FUCKING EYES!) but more concerned about finding a place to sleep than anything else... until Brock declares that she wasn't a Nurse Joy, she was a fake!
They're surprised, but he insists that every Nurse Joy has her own special quality, and showcases this by showing them his creepy stalker book of Joys.
May asks what their "attributes" are, and Brock doesn't give the obvious answer, instead declaring it is their romantic allure... a romantic allure that Nurse Joy was missing.... even thought she was wearing his favourite scent - Nurse Joy Number 5.
Again, Ash and May are more concerned that there are Nurse joy perfumes than the assertion Joy was a fake and also HAD THE EYES OF THE DEVIL! But Max steps in to say they should talk about it later... maybe after dinner.
They all settle down for a meal, humans and Pokemon all, but as they eat, Lombre - set off aside from the others to eat because it's a retarded Mexican and kids can be so cruel - seems to detect something and walks away. Brock looks over and sees it is gone, and they get up to look for it just in time to see a male and female figure in full body protective clothing (including helmets over their faces) leap out and grab Lombre.
Brock shouts at them that it is his Lombre but the masked figures insist it is an Extraterrestrial Pokemon, and check it out with their Pokedex to prove it... and discover it is a Lombre.
Wow, Lombre isn't the most retarded one there.
Brock recalls Lombre and they demand to know who the two masked figures are, and they reveal they are.... Ken and Mary, the Pokemon Mystery Club!
They explain that they believe Pokemon Aliens came to Earth riding on flaming comets, and they were investigating one of those space rocks recently when... something happened, they don't know what, they can't remember!
Their research has indicated that some kind of "shockwave" wiped their memories, and the memories of those in the village. They rush off to continue their investigations, while Brock tells the others that there are theories that says Pokemon like Clefairy and Starmie are aliens, but who really knows. What he is more concerned about is what they said about the villagers' memories, and they guess that this explains why Nurse Joy was acting so weird. They head back to the village, hiding in the bushes outside the Pokemon Centre trying to get a look in at Nurse Joy (usually Brock does this type of thing by himself), then sneak forward, Ash warning them to be on the lookout for "Space Pokemon"
After they leave, Team Rocket pop into frame, having apparently been roughly four feet behind the twerps the entire time... but apparently they didn't see them or hear them! Jesse thought she heard something, but Meowth is more concerned with finding the meteorite. They found the crash site but nothing was inside, so one of the villagers must have grabbed it... and Jesse figures there is only one place they would "stash" an object that valuable - the Pokemon Centre!
The twerps sneak inside somehow, while Team Rocket climb a ladder and Meowth picks the lock on the window (apparently they could have just walked through the front door) and they all try to shove through at the same time, ending up pitching forward and falling to the floor. James moans that he lost his flashlight, but given the poses they're current in, it could be in any of them!
He finds it rolled off to the side of the room and flicks it on, dazzling Jesse and Meowth's eyes as the twerps round the corner to investigate the sound and see the shadow cast by Team Rocket onto the wall at the end of the corridor. They believe it's the Space Pokemon, though by the bulk of the shadow and its movement it looks more like some kind of beast.... with two backs.
But then, with dramatic flair, Team Rocket reveal what it truly is - them!
"Prepare for trouble! Truer words were never spoken!"
"Double that, my flashlight isn't broken!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"I'm Jesse."
"And I'm James."
"VMMMMM!" shouts Jesse, rushing across the front of a brick wall that doesn't exist, followed by a spotlight before returning to the right of the frame to pose,"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"MMMM!" shouts James, doing the same and ending up posing on the left of the frame,"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
"CHIME CHIME CHIME!"
"I bet you twerps are after dat meteorite, right?" demands Meowth.
"What?" says Brock.
"What meteorite?" asks Max.
"Who said that!" gasps Meowth, realising his mistake too late,"What!?!"
Then they hear Nurse Joy's voice and Team Rocket cheese's it.... and so do the twerps! Because they're trespassing too!
Jesse slams the door behind her and breaths a sigh of relief, then gasps as she realises the twerps have followed them into the room! They admit they got a little freaked out, but then they hear a rattling and James pulls out his.... flashlight.... shining light onto.... Lunatone!
Ash checks it out with Dexter and discovers that it is a known Pokemon, but some do believe it comes from outer space. Jesse rushes up to the bizarre moon-like Pokemon to tell it that she likes its style, and its eye glows red and washes light over her. She turns, her eyes glowing red and throws an arm up, declaring they must all leave, surprising James and Meowth who try to snap her out of it.
It works, she wakes up, not sure what happened, and James tells her that she turned into a crazed robotic freak. Brock guesses that Lunatone used Hypnosis, but they can't understand why, until Meowth translates Lunatone's words - it's scared.
The door to the store-room opens and the lights come on, the red-eyed Nurse Joy robotically telling them they should be nicer to Lunatone, they must leave. But Jesse is having none of it, saying they come for the meteorite but Lunatone will do nicely. James calls out Cacnea (and gets a hug for his troubles) and Jesse sends in Seviper, but when they charge, Lunatone ignores Ash's calls for it to dodge and stops the Pokemon in mid-air with Psychic.... then collapses to the ground.
The Hypnosis fades from Nurse Joy, and as she tries to figure out what the hell happened, Brock is up in her face, grabbing her hands, that "romantic allure" back in full force. She's confused, has no memory and some strange horny boy is holding her hands.... but instead of calling Officer Jenny and reporting Rohypnol abuse, she and the others turn their attention to Lunatone. It lies on its side moaning, Meowth translating to say it is low on energy, and that it was attacked by two strange humans.
The twerps declare they know exactly who it is, but instead of blaming Jesse and James, they actually get it right and figure out it was the PMC. Lunatone tells them that if it can just get into the moonlight it will be okay, but Jesse has a better idea - it's weak, so it's ripe for the catching! She sends in Seviper and James sends in Cacnea (surely it would have made more sense to chuck a Pokeball), and Pikachu leaps in the way and Thunderbolts them back into Team Rocket, sending them blasting off again.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON IS THE BEST CHOICE TO FIGHT ILLUMISE? PARASECT, GULPIN OR LANTURN!?! IF YOU CHOSE GULPIN.... WELL NO SHIT, IT COULD SWALLOW THAT FUCKING THING WHOLE!
They get Lunatone onto a table and hooked up to equipment, and Nurse Joy checks it out, telling the twerps it will be fine once it takes its medicine, but its energy levels are too low. Ash remembers (he remembers!) that Meowth said it needed moonlight, and Nurse Joy tells them that it is a full moon tonight by a remarkable plot convenience!
May and Max think that means it will be fine, but Nurse Joy explains to them that you can't see the moon from Volley Town due to the high mountains on all sides..... and.... wait.... if they were that... then the sun, they wouldn't be able..... hang on, that makes no sense, even in a world of sentient magical cockfighting monsters including a giant half-moon alien..... that makes no fucking sense!
But there is one place you can see the moon, from Camerupt Point! The twerps just need to get Lunatone there to allow it to bask in the moonlight and restore its energy. But how can they get the massive freak there? Ash looks to Brock to make a plan, but he points out it isn't as easy as that.... if the PMC are out there looking for Lunatone, they'll try and grab it off of them
So his solution? Avert suspicion by having a bunch of kids and a Pokemon Nurse push a giant covered food cart up a mountain at 3am!
Lunatone is inside the cart, surrounded by boxes covered in sheets indicating it is a mobile food cart. Pikachu is inside with Lunatone keeping an eye on it, but as they move up the mountain path, the PMC block their path.
"I don't suppose you've seen any Pokemon from space lurking around here?" Ken asks.
They assure him they haven't, why they've never even heard of such a thing! (despite Ken and Mary telling them about it only a few hours earlier!) and then try to push on, only for the PMC to ask what they're pushing. Ash tells them they're having a moon party (seriously) and they push on between Ken and Mary and continue on their way.
But the PMC aren't convinced, that looks like too much food for a MOON PARTY (apparently they do have them and they're common enough to know how much is too much food!) and they decide to get out the Mystery Pokemon Collector, and begin assembling parts from their briefcases.
Meanwhile the twerps think they've fooled them, and come into sight of Camerupt Point, just past the valley up ahead. Max notes that the two rocky outcroppings really do look like the humps on a Camerupt, while everyone else watching the show is probably noting that there is a clear and open sky above them and there is no reason they shouldn't be able to see the moon from where they are right now.
They stop and bring out Pikachu and Lunatone, Joy saying there the moon should come out in about 5 minutes. Apparently the moon will rise between the two "humps", and there it is! A massive, golden moon? The twerps think so, smiling in delight until Lunatone collapses they realise that's no moon, it's a Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon!
Easy mistake to make.
They reach out with a mechanical claw.... but it is blocked by... another mechanical claw! The PMC has arrived in the Mystery Pokemon Collector! They declare that all Space Pokemon "belong" to them, and then get into an argument with Team Rocket as to who is the bigger weirdo. As they trade insults back and forth, Jesse confuses herself and the OMC Mechanical Arm lifts Team Rocket's balloon high, shakes it about, zaps them with electricity and sends them blasting off again, Jesse shouting, "I'm not weird! Am I?"
The Mystery Pokemon Collector charges forward at Lunatone, but Ash gets in their way, telling Pikachu to use Iron Tail, but it is slapped away by the mechanical arm. Brock calls out Mudkip to use Water gun, but it does little to the Mystery Pokemon Collector and the mechanical arm flicks Mudkip away. May calls out Beautifly and uses Silver Wind, which finally does give the PMC pause as they realise they can't see where they're going, and they're knocked further off course by a fresh blast of Water Gun from Mudkip, and then Pikachu Thunderbolts them, finally shutting down the Mystery Pokemon Collector.
Nurse Joy turns and spots the moon rising between the "humps" of Camerupt Point, and the light shies down on Lunatone and restores its energy. It raises up, red eye wide and glowing with alien intelligence... but celebrations are cut short as the PMC returns, declaring that unlike Team Rocket they don't just blast off... they've gotten the Mystery Pokemon Collector running again and are going to grab Lunatone.
Lunatone. The big scary alien that now has full power restored and has turned its terrible alien mind onto them.
One blast of Hidden Power later, The Pokemon Mystery Club are doing "what weirdoes do" and are blasting off, shouting out Bon Voyage!
Lunatone turns its alien gaze onto the twerps as Brock tells May and Max he has no idea if it is from outer space or not, but he does love a good mystery. They wave goodbye to Lunatone as it lifts up high and floats directly towards the moon - a bizarre alien monstrosity with an incomprehensible mind capable of taking control of human minds for its own purposes.... and they saved it.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Prepare for trouble! Truer words were never spoken!" "Double that, my flashlight isn't broken!" "I bet you twerps are after dat meteorite, right?" "What?" "What meteorite?"""Who said that! What?""Hey, what just happened to me?""You turned into some kind of crazed robotic freak.""Well that went to plan!""I wasn't aware there was a plan!" "It's a full moon tonight so we''re having a moon party!""If you're weird enough to be seen as weird by weirdoes like us... you're weird!"
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