357: Lights Camerupt Action
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360: Eiga wa Bakuda ni mitte!
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Max nods smugly as Brock checks his guide book and discovers that the next Gym is across the water, in a town called MossDeep. To get there they'll need to catch a ferry from LilyCove Town, and so Ash stands up and commands the other twerps that it is time to get to LilyCove! No rest on his laurels for Ash, for him it's all about....
As they make their way, though, they spot a man with a Camerupt standing in the middle of a shallow river, gear packed up heavy on its back. The man tells his Camerupt that they're being relied on to get their cargo to its destination, and the twerps ask what is wrong. He explains his Camerupt appears to be stuck in the river and he can't push it clear (it also looks surly, which may mean it doesn't WANT to be moved) so the twerps offer their assistance, helping (along with Torkoal) to push while May's Bulbasaur tugs on it from the front with Vine Whip. They move it through the shallow waters to dry land, and the man - Elijah - thanks and introduces himself while his Camerupt stands beside him, still looking surly.
The twerps introduce themselves, and Max asks what they're carrying. Apparently it is a mobile movie projector and movie reels. The towns in the area don't have access to movie theatres, so he moves from town to town showing films. The current film he is carrying is the latest Plusle and Minun film (oh Lord) - Princess Rescue. May and Max are both keen to see it too, and since they're all heading in the same direction they ask if they can travel with him, which Elijah is more than keen to do, having only a pissed off Camerupt for company.
Watching from their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, Jesse and Meowth are interested in Pikachu and the Camerupt, but James is more interested in something else, something with a bell end that soothes him.
"Put that thing away and pay attention!" Jesse scolds him, and James is shocked, surely she loves to see it as much as he does!
They're talking, of course, about Chimecho.
You dirty minded bastards.
Apparently Jesse only found its voice soothing the first 300 times, now it is just annoying, and when it wraps its tail around James' eyes he has to relent and return it to its Pokeball. Meanwhile Meowth has been keeping his eye on the prize... unfortunately, his eyes are as insane as the rest of him, as he realises that Camerupt is carrying movie gear and instantly spirals into a Patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
"Just imagine da Boss watching his favourite movie on TV one day," Meowth explains to a dubious Jesse and James, as we see Fantasy-Giovanni watching a movie of Meowth dancing,"And saying to himself,"Dis movie sure would be more impressive on da big screen."
"Yeah, then what?" grunts James.
"Den all of a sudden his life is changed by the arrival of our home theatre system!" demands Meowth,"And from den on every time he watches a movie the Boss will say,"I must reward Meowth and friends for giving me dis home theatre system and changing my whole life!".... YUP!"
But Jesse and James aren't taken in as easily as normal, asking if Giovanni is actually a movie buff (plus, you know, he's insanely rich, he probably has a giant screen in his house all ready) but Meowth is prepared for this too. They'll catch the Camerupt as well, and Giovanni can use it to move around his big rocks!
"I don't recall ever hearing anything about him having a lot of rocks!"
"Yeah I made that up," admits Meowth,"But everyone knows da Boss likes riding Camerupts in the moonlighty night."
"I've never heard that one, either," says James, as we see a ^__^ Giovanni behind them riding the Camerupt through Egypt apparently, "I thought he liked riding in sports cars."
"A CAMERUPT IS A SPORTS CAR WITH TWO HUMPS YA GOTTA ARGUE ABOUT EVERYTHING!?!" screams Meowth, his fragile, insane little world falling apart around him. But Jesse has the solution, they'll just steal everything!
Meanwhile the twerps, Elijah and the surly Camerupt have reached a rope bridge over the river, but the bridge has come down blocking their path. They head upstream to find a narrower spot in the river, but the narrowest part is still pretty wide and the current strong, but they don't have much choice so they step forward and..... fall into a pitfall!
"Prepare for trouble, you with the fee-ate-er!?!"
"Make it..... uhhh we'll do the rest later!"
Yes Team Rocket set up this all up, breaking the rope bridge and setting up the trap at the narrowest part of the river. They send down a mechanical claw that lifts Camerupt up out of the pit, but then Ash sends out Corphish and breaks the mechanical claw, then sends Team Rocket blasting off again!
The twerps get out of the hole and cross the river, May narrating their journey as she pretends to film another episode of the award winning documentary series - May's Expedition! They move up a mountain path and May asks her fake microphone what that noise she can hear is, it sounds like rocks? So she shifts her imaginary camera up above her and.... yep, definitely rocks!
Max pulls her clear, the rocks smashing down and blocking the mountain path. They won't make it to the village today, so they head back into the forest where Brock prepares a meal for them all, Pikachu and Camerupt sharing their meal while all the other Pokemon sit in their Pokeballs going hungry, taunted by the scent of the food they can't have.
May says they've had bad luck today but Elijah says he's had worse, he's fallen into canyons, being stung, swatted and chased by Tauros. But he keeps doing it despite not being paid.....
Hang on a second? He doesn't get paid? And he's carrying around these movies on Camerupt back? Does he have a license? Is that man a Movie Pirate!?! Are the twerps endorsing piracy, an incredibly cool crime that gets you hot chicks that Pokemopolis would never endorse!?!
Elijah explains that he gets rewarded in other ways, like a letter he received from a girl named Mariah telling him she couldn't wait to see him again....
Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me bu...
...an eight year old girl.
Dear Parole Board, I should have guessed this would happen to me....
Apparently her little podunk town is so shithouse that they STILL talk about the Pichu Brothers movie he showed them a year ago, and hopes to see him again soon with a brand new movie. Elijah leans back and says that most people nowadays have televisions, but there is still something to be said for seeing a movie on the big screen. Ash nods, remembering a movie that he went and saw not long before beginning his Pokemon journey. And wouldn't you know it, who did he see the movie with? His mother of course, but also Gary and Professor Oak!
Since Oak isn't sitting next to Delia, Gary's likely to discover a surprise when he reaches into the popcorn on Oak's lap.
The movie featured a little boy who looks like Ash dressed all in red (RED!!?! From Pokemon: Red?) and his talking Pikachu and Clefable.
Clefable was a monster who was always hungry, and when it sees a talking Teddiursa chowing down on a hamburger it steals and eats it, causing it to cry and bring in a roaring talking Ursaring to beat the shit out of it!
Little Ash thought the movie was hilarious, though little Gary seemed indifferent, pissed off perhaps for being taken out to a movie along with his younger Uncle.
Brock remembers taking out his brothers and sisters to see a movie on one of the nights when the girls weren't calling (every night). It was a Western, with a Snorlax Sheriff in a Remoraid fight (they use Remoraids as guns!) with an Outlaw Machoke while a pretty young Azurill in a summer dress watches in horror.
The Machoke falls with white goo all over its face (eek!) and then Max tells about a science-fiction movie he saw with May, Norman and Caroline where a giant Meowth is running amok in the city and is fought by Marshtomps and Pichu Brothers flying jet fighters (of course) only for the Marshtomp to turn out to be alien superhero who becomes giant as well and fights off the Meowth.
Max asks May if she enjoyed that movie too, but she tells about the romantic movie she saw by herself one day about a luxurious space liner and the star-crossed lovers Natu and Xatu (in a scene straight out of Titanic). But then an Ice Asteroid hits the space ship and it sinks, and the Xatu falls away into the cold indifferent embrace of space like Leonardo DiCaprio into the cold, cold sea, and that was the soooo romantic end - the explosive decompression of a confused bird.
They all talk about their memories of the movies, pretending to be characters from the movies, guessing songs from movies, stopping for ice-cream on the way back, etc, etc. Ash asks Elijah if he can tell them the plot of the new Plusle and Minun movie...
I can! I can! Plusle and Minun suck and fail to be anywhere near as entertaining or have anywhere near the mass-market appeal of Pikachu. The End.
...and he tells them he can read the narrative as he would while the movie itself was playing. It seems that the Plusle and Minun films are silent movies, which for some reason makes Max even keener to see it.
HEY TRAINERS WHICH OF THESE POKEMON EVOLES INTO SANDSLASH!?! IS IT KECLEON OR KADABRA THAT EVOLVES INTO SANDSLASH? OR IS SANDSHREW THE POKEMON THAT EVOLVES INTO SANDSLASH? WHICH DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE? COULD IT BE SANDSHREW THAT EVOLVES INTO SANDSLASH? IS THAT POSSIBLE? COULD IT BE!?!?!
HOLY FUCK IT WAS SANDSHREW!
The next day, Elijah and the twerps finally make it to the village, and local old folk working in the fields are pleased to see him. Local kids - including Mariah - come rushing up asking what movie it's going to be, and Elijah tells them it's the latest Plusle and Minun film. Ash and Brock help set up the screen, and that night Elijah provides narration for the movie, explaining how an evil Exploud kidnapped Princess Kirlia. Plusle and Minun rush into action... a little too quickly, as they run into a rock, and then find themselves facing off against an Armaldo! They prepare to fight and then... the real stars of the show arrive!
"Prepare for trouble but not on the screen!"
"Make it double if you know what I mean!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
"Chime Chime!"
Jesse sends out Seviper to use Haze, covering the audience in smoke, and lights come on to reveal the projector has been stolen. The crowd is shocked, no movie!?! But Elijah tells them this is intermission before he and twerps rush off to get the projector back, leaving behind Brock to... sing to keep them entertained!?! You know what this means - Takeshi's Paradise!
Max spots some film from the film reel and they realise they can follow it. They head up the path, where further up James and Meowth are pulling a cart with the projector on it.... as well as Jesse! She's supposed to be pushing but is just enjoying the ride until she notices that the film reel has been leaving a trail. They leave the cart to collect up the reel, but walk right into the twerps, and a fight between Grovyle and Seviper that ends with Team Rocket blasting off again!
AGAIN!
Meanwhile Brock is on yet another round of OKAY OLE! and the crowd is getting restless, screaming that the song sucks, and Brock moans it's the only one he knows!
What about Two Perfect Girls!?!
Just then the twerps and Elijah return with the projector, saving Brock's bacon as they set back up and continue the story. Plusle and Minun are facing off against Armaldo when suddenly a courageous Pikachu shows up and kicks it away, then leads them into the palace to fight Exploud.
In the forest, watching from the trees are Team Rocket. James asks Jesse if they shouldn't be doing something to steal the projector, but Jesse and Meowth are too busy actually enjoying the movie to steal it, and so the movie ends with Plusle, Minun and Pikachu (the best of the three!) saving Kirlia and destroying the castle of the Exploud, leaving the children and people of the shitty podunk village satisfied for at least another year.
And so too does the episode end, with Team Rocket walking through the fields, Jesse and Meowth in tears (Jesse wrings out her hankie onto Meowth's head) because it was such a wonderful happy ending. James mutters that he wouldn't like to see how they handled a sad ending and Wobbuffet eagerly agrees with pleased patience, and they walk off into the night.
Only two blasts offs in one episode is enough for a happy ending for them.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "The Merry The More-ier!" "Put that thing away and pay attention!" "Imagine what da Boss would call us if we gave him dat! One word!" "Blockheads?" It's a space ship and it sinks?"".... yes."
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