355: Who's Flying Now?
Dodgy Synopsis
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358: Hiwadaki Shiti no Fweza Kanibaru!
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Max thinks living in a tree would be awesome, but Ash says they'll check them out AFTER his Gym Battle. He heads on up the steep stone stairs again, Max telling him not to rush while Brock notes that he's as raring to go as ever (not counting GODDAMN JOHTO!) and May wishes there was an elevator. Well sorry May, but if wishes were fishes, none of us would be hungry, and if frogs had wings they wouldn't bump their asses when they hop. In fact, they'd fly! And they'd swoop past the birds that have mocked them so long and declare....
With that incredibly labored segueway into the episode title out of the way, we rejoin the twerps at the entrance to the Gym, flanked by a statue of a Charizard and a Skarmory. Ash calls out for the Gym Leader and a man with a curly white-boy afro steps out, introducing himself as Zachary and apologising, saying that the Gym Leader is currently down in town, taking part in the Feather Carnival. He explains to Max it's an annual festival to celebrate the sky, and May thinks that sounds fun.... and Ash starts running down the stairs, telling them he's going to go find that goddamn Gym Leader!
Fuck you Johto!
"We just got up here and now we have to go all the way back down?" sighs May.
"And not only that," smirks Brock, because he has mighty quads of the partly developed male, not the tiny calves of the child, "Once we find the Gym Leader, we'll have to climb back up here again!"
Down in the Village square, the twerps walk through stalls selling lots of food, jewelery and games... and Brock moans there are cute girls too, leering lecherously right at May and lunging for her!
Ash grabs him roughly by the ear, telling him not now, he can rape underage girls later, right now they have to find the Gym Leader!
Now there's a boy with his priorities straight!
Max chuckles, then points up, spotting a Skarmory flying towards them, a slim young lady riding on its back with a small boy. Brock is delighted by how cute the girl is, and they fly overhead and land right in the square, and the twerps rush to check it out.
Meanwhile.... Team Rocket are eating!
Jesse and Meowth stride through the Carnival eating food and drinking and delighted, not caring about the twerps, just enjoying the food and games.... well, all except for James that is. He moans that a carnival is where it all went wrong, and Jesse rolls her eyes, knowing that another continuity-defying past memory is about to be revealed. James tells them about when he was a young lad, returning home in a chauffer-driven stretch-rolls from a violin lesson. Poor little rich kid James stares out the window at the carnival, and one thing in particular, moaning,"I suppose it was fate that brought us together-"
"Oh spare us," sighs Jesse, intruding into his memory, "Is this some first crush thing? I'd rather jump off a cliff then listen to someone moaning about their pathetic love life."
"That goes double here!" adds Meowth, but James ignores and continues on, telling them about his first love... Chimecho!
Yes the odd Pokemon, a ball with a long wavy tail, no nose and a bell on its head (or a disembodied testicle, as others less enamoured with it have called it). When James saw it, he knew he had to have it, but upon returning home his parents would not consider it. So that night he snuck out of the house with an Igglybuff money-bank to buy the Chimecho for himself, but when he got back to the carnival, the workers had left and the townspeople were cleaning up their mess for them.... goddamn Carnies!
And Little James was heartbroken.
Now big James lets out his tears, moaning that he is a broken shell of a man, bursting into tears as people surrounding him turn to stare. He looks around, realising that Jesse and Meowth have abandoned him, and rushes off to find them.
Meanwhile, the local kids have all crowded around Skarmory, the monstrosity screeching at them with its horrible steel voice. The girl piloting the Skarmory - Winona - picks the next "co-pilot", a little girl, and pops her up onto Skarmory's back before a little boy tells her he wants a go next, but he wants to pilot it himself. She sees he is very brave, and then Brock rushes up to her, grabbing the surprised woman's hands to introduce himself as a breeder.....
Max drags him away by the ear and the kids tell an embarrassed Ash and May that Winona is a great pilot, works well with all Flying Pokemon.... and she's the Fortree Gym Leader!
Ash immediately asks her for a battle, and she accepts, but notes that they'll have to have their battle after the festival. She hops onto the Skarmory and they fly into the air, Brock staring after her lustfully while Max declares he'd like to ride her... Skarmory, and May agrees!
Neither of them mean it the way Brock would mean it though, and Ash says since they have to wait for her anyway they might as well have a go flying on the Skarmory's back as well, and enjoy the carnival. They call out all their Pokemon to enjoy the carnival as well.
Meanwhile, Jesse and Meowth are still eating!
Jesse chomps on chocolate and ice-cream, saying that James' moaning and whining is bugging her, while Meowth suggests she look on the bright side, more food for them! Jesse asks Meowth is Chimecho is as rare as James was making out and he notes it isn't a Legendary Pokemon or anything, but it is pretty rare to see one, and Jesse guesses that means they won't see one anytime soon.
And of course they don't.... because their eyes are shut in feeding delight!
Meanwhile, Max is getting a ride with Winona and moaning in delight that it's bigger than he thought and feels so soft on his face!
GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!
He's talking about the size of the sky and the feel of the wind, of course, while the Pokemon all ride on Pokemon-Themed rides having a good time. Next, Winona takes May for a ride, and it's all so new and different to her, but good, better than she thought it could be, a wonderful result of experimentation!
GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!
Brock and Ash watch Winona and May reaching new heights of enjoyment together and both seem to be enjoying what they see (oh like you wouldn't!), and Brock explains to Ash that Fortree City puts a lot of stock in history and flying, and for Winona to be considered such a great flyer in a City like this means that she really IS great.
HEY TRAINERS! WHICH OF THESE POKEMON IS THE BEST TO FIGHT MAGBY!?!? SOLROCK, LOMBRE OR PONYTA!?! THE ANSWER IS LOMBRE, BECAUSE THEY BOTH LOOK RETARDED!
Meanwhile, Pikachu, Swellow and Skitty are being horrified by the haunted Pokemon ride... well, not so much Skitty, which is having too much fun being ^__^ to worry about that.
Meanwhile meanwhile, James stomps sulkily through the carnival, pissed that Jesse and Meowth abandoned him.... and then spots Chimecho! There's a bunch of them hanging off of a railing, a familiar looking man whose face is hidden beneath a straw hat offering them for sale. James immediately asks for one, then stops, confused, looking closer at the Chimecho, noting it's larger than he remembers and... well.... kind of bulgy.
The salesman - face still obscured - insists that this is because he looks after them and treats them well, and hands one of the large bulgy Chimecho to James who forgets his reservations in his delight and looks happily up at the salesman... and finally gets a proper look at his face.
MEXICAN MAGIKARP SALESMAN!
James recognises immediately, the one who sold him the fake Magikarp and fake Feebas! But the Mexican Magikarp Salesman insists he has straightened up his act and bursts into tears, insisting he wants to make good on his past by selling Chimecho! James doesn't believe a word of it though, until Mexican Magikarp Salesman points out that the truth is in James' hands! A Chimecho! He looks at it, not seeming to notice the painted over tape holding the tail to the body, and Mexican Magikarp Salesman weaves his verbal magic, insisting that the tail can keep you cool on a hot day, wrap around your neck as a scarf on a cool day, and.... and this isn't widely known.... pick winning lottery tickets!
James - who Lord bless him has an incredible ass and looks fantastic but isn't the brightest bulb - is starting to fall for it, especially when Mexican Magikarp Salesman tells him he could even become President of whatever Company he works for, and James is delighted! Why he could wear a suit and have a little moustache! And drink strawberry milk!
James declares it’s a deal with Mexican Magikarp Salesman, and rejoins Jesse and Meowth, apparently having worked out a deal. He shows it to Jesse and Meowth, but Jesse - still chowing down - seems less than impressed, and Meowth says something looks "Corphishy". They ask to hear it sing, and James nuzzles happily against it and asks it to sing, and its mouth drops open and a bell ring, and he squeals that it sang!
Jesse isn't convinced though, asking Meowth if it sounded like a song, and Meowth says it just sounded like a bell, it's just a dumb-bell.... and then the parts fall of Chimecho and James squeals in horror, rubbing the paint of it to reveal... he's been fucked again!
The Hoppip sails away on the wind happily, and James tears up as Jesse and Meowth angrily demand he tell them how much of their money he spent..... all of it! They're furious but then.... Chimecho shows up!
It sings happily at them and they gwaaaaah happily from its soothing song, so sooothing..... sooooo soooooooooothing.
James steps up and asks Chimecho if it would like to come along with him, and it.... agrees! It happily sings its own name and wraps its tail around his eyes, and a flummoxed Jesse mutters,"....that was an easy catch."
"Sometimes, all you have tah do is ask," grins Meowth.
Oh Meowth, you're still waiting for James to ask, aren't you.
Jesse is delighted, with a new healing Pokemon on their side, they can finally get back to their wicked ways!
Meanwhile, the twerps have been taken to the top of the stairwell leading to the Fortree Gym, and it really is the top!
At the top of this huge Aztec pyramid-like structure is a simple Battlefield that also happens to be REALLY high up in the air. Winona tells Ash they can battle to their hearts content here and not cause any problems.... but then problems come to them on the wind, as a giant explosion rocks the carnival site far down on the ground below. Winona leaps onto Skarmory's back and they descend back down, the twerps forced to follow the more laborious route, by stair.
At the carnival, Team Rocket is - of course - the source of the problem. Inside a giant robot that apparently came form nowhere purchased with the money they don't have, they're blasting various Pokemon with electric attacks from their "Double Trouble Sparky Shocker", the Pokemon falling into a storage container.
Their happiness is quickly cut short though when Skarmory tackles into the Double Trouble Sparky Shocker Bot, staggering it back. Jesse demands to know who did it, and Winona introduces herself, which is the perfect setup for the motto!
"Prepare for trouble we're Team Rocket!"
"Make it double if it flies we shock it!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare for a shocking fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBUFFET!"
"CHIME CHIME!"
The twerps arrive on the scene spotting Chimecho, and Ash checks it out with Dextina, discovering that when Chimecho becomes angry the "chimes" it makes can blow an opponent away. Ash demands that Team Rocket hand the Pokemon back over and they laugh at him to make them.... so he has Pikachu fry them with thousands of volts of electricity, much like serial rapists and murderers were put to death until the US Supreme Court ruled that it was a cruel and unusual punishment.
So there you go, Gentle Dodgers, Ash is attacking failed thieves with the equivalent of the Death Penalty!
Team Rocket stand frazzled and zapped, moaning that they hurt, but it's okay.... and James asks Chimecho to use Healing Bell. It chimes out a noise and.... Team Rocket are all healed up... even their clothes are clean!
James hugs Chimecho and tells it that its the best, and it wraps its tail happily around his eyes. Meanwhile, Meowth begins zapping at Swellow - which has Pikachu on its back - with the Double Trouble Sparky Shocker, scoring a hit and laughing that they should get their own Chimecho. At this point Winona thinks she has been sitting uselessly on her Steel Bird of Death for long enough and prepares to ride in to save the day... until she hears Ash yell at Swellow to hold on. Winona is surprised, as a Flying Type, Swellow has a distinct disadvantage an-
DON'T FUCK WITH THE DRUNKEN SCOTSMAN!
Winona can't believe that Swellow just shook off the attack, but Ash takes it as a matter of course, telling Swellow to use Wing Attack to smash the Double Trouble Sparky Shocker. It is staggered but comes back with a full force blast, dazing Pikachu and Swellow enough to grab them and dump them in the storage container.... but then Skarmory swoops in with Drill Peck and splits the container away, then comes back to finish Team Rocket off.
Jesse insists that Chimecho help them, but James says it can't heal until they're hurt. Meowth shouts that it can use Double Edge, but he says they can't do that..... and then Skarmory Drill Pecks through the Double Trouble Sparky Shocker and sends Team Rocket blasting off again. Jesse demands to know WHY James wouldn't use Chimecho to fight and he moans he can't let his poor little Chimecho risk being hurt! Meowth moans that there is never any concern about the safety of Pokemon when HE is about to be hurt, and then Chimecho chimes in with a chime, making them feel soooo soooooooothed by the soooooothing song... but stoned or not, they're STILL blasting off!
Winona lands as the Pokemon are reunited with their trainers (oddly enough no one else seemed to give a shit and come over when their Pokemon were stolen by the giant fucking robot) and Ash thanks her for her help. She notes that it is getting dark now and they'll have to put their Battle off for the night (JOHHHHTOOOOOO!) as she has to lead the Grand Finale for the Carnival.
That night, they watch with the crowds as Winona and Skarmory lead a formation of Flying Pokemon in a flyby over Fortree City, and May points out to Ash that Winona really is a genius when it comes to Flying Pokemon. Ash isn't worried though? Why not? Well maybe it's because he trusts his Pokemon, or that he believes in himself, or maybe because he's confident in his own abilities? Or maybe it's because, quite frankly....
He's too dumb to be worried.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "We just got up here and now we have to go all the way back down?" "And not only that, once we find the Gym Leader, we'll have to climb back up here again!" "I suppose it was fate that brought us together-" "Oh spare us, is this some first crush thing? I'd rather jump off a cliff then listen to someone moaning about their pathetic love life.""I'm Brock, perhaps you've heard of me? A very promising Pokemon Breeder!""I could use some happiness and success!""I can see it now, a life of luxury, a little moustache, all the strawberry milk I can drink!""....that was an easy catch."
 "Sometimes, all you have tah do is ask."
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