353: A Shroomish Skirmish
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356: Mori no kakatou-ou!? Wakashamo Vs. Kinogassa!
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Haha, cockblocked!
But Corphish is a jerk and isn't going to put up with that, could a fight be brewing? Could it be....
Torchic pecks away, but then Corphish scoops up big clawfuls of food and begins scoffing it down, causing Torchic to burst into tears, Ash and May running up to find out what is going on. Corphish refuses to apologise, pissing off Torchic, and the two prepare to face off, the other Pokemon trying to calm them down, the humans crowding around, and Grovyle.... just chilling against a tree trunk, Clint Eastwood cool all the way, baby!
Torchic blasts at Corphish and a panicking Pikachu zaps everyone with Thunderbolt, pissing of Corphish who lunges at Pikachu, who turns and shows his ass!
I love this show.
Ash demands that Corphish calm down, after all it is the one that started all of this, but it blasts Bubblebeam at Torchic, who fires back with Ember, and all and sundry charge about in a panic as the two Pokemon blast at each other, the humans calling their other Pokemon back, and Grovyle ignoring it all as it relaxes against the tree.
Meanwhile.... Team Rocket crotch!
Yep, Team Rocket are on their backs and spread-eagled (HOORAY!), exhausted from a lack of good (booo!). Jesse moans she always thought her last words would be more profound than a stomach rumble. As Meowth reveals the number of hours that they've been without food, Jesse sits with boobs pointing up at the sky grumbling that at the moment she'd settle for peanut butter and jelly. James agrees that nothing ever rolls their way, and Wobbuffet appears by them lying on its back, saluting and agreeing. An apple rolls up to James' hand and he stares at it, muttering that he's hallucinating apples now... then gasps it is real and leaps onto it... followed seconds later by Jesse, happily declaring that ladies go first.
Meowth leaps in to try and grab it too, and then Wobbuffet piles on just because it looks like fun.... and then they all stare up as a pack of Todd's disembodied hair show up with apples atop their heads... oh wait, it's Shroomish, and the fruit belongs to them.
And that means Team Rocket wants it!
As they give chase, back at the campsite Torchic and Corphish are still fighting, smacking Mudkip and Pikachu aside when they try to intervene.... and this finally wakes Grovyle up. It looks at the two smacking each other around, and instantly takes action.... BADASS ACTION!
Corphish is all wide-eyed jerkish horror, and then Torchic bursts into tears and runs into May's arms. Ash thanks Grovyle while Mudkip and Pikachu stare in exasperation and Corphish gets even grumpier, because it is an incredible jerk!
Meanwhile, the Shroomish sit a safe distance from Team Rocket muttering their own names at the group as all their apples are eaten. James and Jesse are irritated by the noise, asking Meowth for a translation and learning that this is their forest, those are THEIR apples, and Team Rocket are stealing them.... causing James to laugh that it's not like they can be charged with Grand Theft Apple.
Suddenly Shroomish launch out of the trees, not exactly bothering Team Rocket who keep chowing down.... till the Shroomish start glowing and turn into... Breloom!
Now Team Rocket look concerned... well, except for Wobbuffet which sits happily chowing down as one Breloom leaps high and smashes into Team Rocket, knocking them aside and then chasing after them, Wobbuffet ahead of them still gulping down apples until it is returned to its Pokeball... taking the apples with it.
Back at the campsite, Brock is telling May he'll make some more food just for Torchic when Team Rocket burst out of the bushes, spot the twerps and forget the death coming hot on their heels to prepare their motto.
"Prepare for trouble, we're hungry to fight!"
"Make it double, we're-"
"HEY!" interrupts Meowth, staring with delight at Brock's stew (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!), "Forget dat, dere's food here!"
Team Rocket leap down and begin chowing down straight out of the bowl, Jesse's mouth getting slathered with white stuff (THE GUTTA I TELLS YA!) before they are satisfied, leaping back up to return to their motto.... until James can't remember where he was and Meowth has to prompt him.
"MAKE IT DOUBLE!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Team Rocket ate your lunch at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Daaaaaaat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
"Anyway," sighs Max, "So who are you guys trying to run away from?"
And Team Rocket remember, the Breloom!
May checks out Breloom with Dextina, Brock warning they look angry and blaming Team Rocket who claim their innocence... until Meowth remembers that the did kind of steal their apples. But Jesse is having none of it, so they stole some apples, the Shroomish had plenty, Team Rocket were practically starving, and they have no right to be pissed! James and Meowth try desperately to placate their great and terrible Bitch Goddess Queen, but she's got her temper up now, and she's angry!
How angry?
THIS ANGRY!
That's pretty angry.
She roars at the Breloom that the fruit wasn't even that good, and then the Breloom zoom in with multiple Punch attacks, sending Team Rocket, twerps and Pokemon all blasting off, together!
HEY TRAINERS! WHICH OF THESE IS THE BEST CHOICE TO BATTLE SUNFLORA? VENOMOTH, WAILMER OR GASTLY!?! THE ANSWER IS... ANY OF THEM, THEY'RE ALL UNHOLY MONSTERS SHOWING THE CRUEL INDIFFERENCE OF NATURE!
The sun sits high over the forest, and in a canyon resting on a jutting tree limb we find May and Mudkip stranded over the chasm. Meanwhile, Corphish and Torchic walk into each other elsewhere in the forest, Torchic bursts into tears and Corphish.... just ups and walks away.
Haha, what a jerk!
Meanwhile, Ash, Brock, Swellow and Pikachu are looking for the others. Pikachu jumps onto Swellow's back and it takes to the air to look about, leaving Ash and Brock behind only to encounter the Breloom, and with Ash completely outnumbered he... wants to fight!
Luckily for his continued ability to be alive, Brock takes charge.
Max and Meowth lift their heads out of the bushes and gasp in shock to find themselves teamed together. Max blames Meowth for all this trouble, until they hear a noise and instantly hug each other in a panic... till it proves to be Corphish and Torchic. Max tells them they'll go find the others, and Meowth stands behind, proudly proclaiming that he is in charge and HE says that they'll stay right there.... until he realises they're gone and takes off after them in a panic.
May follows Mudkip through the forest, spotting its fin shaking and remembering it acts as a type of radar. she asks if it can find the others, and then they hear a noise and May looks up to spot Jesse and James come charging downhill screaming that they're running too fast too stop, and promptly fly over the side of the cliff.
They slam into the limb, gasping in pain then spotting the chasm beneath them and leaping back up onto the limb, hugging each other in their panic. They hear the Breloom calling and look up, realising they're stuck between a chasm of doom and a bunch of pissed off kung-fu mushrooms.
God I love Pokemon.
Jesse bursts into tears after James appears to stare derisively at her breasts, while high in the sky above Swellow looks around for anyone else. Meanwhile, Torchic has stopped for a blubber, causing Corphish to look even more pissed off (such a great jerk), and they move on once more, Meowth insisting once more that they're not going anywhere, then rushing after them.
Meanwhile meanwhile, Ash is running behind Brock insisting they MUST fight the Breloom, but Brock insists that they have no quarrel. But Ash is determined to fight, and turns to face the Breloom who promptly... jump him and start beating the shit out of him! He tears loose with a roar, surprising the Breloom as he flails his arms about wildly screaming, then they leap onto him once more and go back to hammering the fuck out of him until Brock leaps in and hauls him out, Ash screaming to let him back at them.
Haha, oh Ash, you idiot.
He struggles to get free of Brock, only for them to tumble downhill over and over each other, the closest Brock has come yet to losing his virginity.
Max, Meowth, Torchic and Corphish have reached a dead end, but spot a huge store of fruit.... and then find themselves surrounded by Breloom and Shroomish, scores of them, all convinced that they've come to steal from them. They growl and roar at them, Corphish leaping in front of Torchic and telling everyone to bring it on.... and then Swellow drops Pikachu down in front of them, sparking up to try and warn the Breloom off... which just brings out a frontrunner to fight.
Meanwhile, Jesse and James hear a scream and look up to see Ash and Brock plummeting towards them, crashing into the limb and almost giving Jesse a face full of Ash ass.
The limb breaks and they fall towards the bottom of the chasm, Brock sending out Forretress to use Rapid Spin and.... completely defy the laws of physics and allow them to land safely. As Ash and Brock begin arguing with Jesse and James over who is to blame for their current predicament, Swellow arrives warning off the action going on elsewhere.
And what action!
Pikachu and the Alpha Breloom clash their Iron Tails together, Pikachu getting thrown aside and smashing into the rock, creating a crater Dragonball Z would be proud off. Meowth gasps in horror and grabs the sides of the frames showing Pikachu and Breloom's reaction, shoving them aside to shatter the fourth wall, warning that Breloom's Iron Tail is tougher than Pikachu's!
More Breloom charge Corphish, which blasts Bubblebeam but misses, the Breloom darting aside to attack Torchic. Corphish leaps in the way of the attack, then slams several Breloom aside, only to have the back of its head kicked, smashing its face hard into the ground.
These Breloom aren't fucking around!
Corphish gets back up to fight the one that kicked it, only for a second to smash it in the face, and then the two Breloom team up and begin smacking Corphish about the face one shot after the other, bang bang bang bang! Another Breloom leaps at Corphish, only to be blasted aside by Water Gun as May and Mudkip arrive on the scene, but Corphish collapses at much the same time. It tries to struggle back up as the Breloom regather to fight, and Torchic leaps into the way to stop it before suddenly, it starts to glow and..... and...
KUNG FU CHICKEN!
Holy crap it looks like a cock and balls!
May checks it out - Combusken, the evolved form of Torchic, a combination of Fire and Fighting... and fired up to fight!
Jesse, James, Ash and Brock show up, Meowth laughing and demanding to know where they've been, while Brock notes that Torchic evolved. The Alpha Breloom arrives and demands a one on one fight with Combusken, and....
May orders an Ember but Max says Firespin would be better, so she orders it... but Breloom smashes a Mock Punch through the attack and comes charging in. Brock tells her to keep her cool and use Fighting Moves, so it tries Sky Uppercut and.... PUNCHES BRELOOM RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE!
Breloom smashes into the ground and takes a knee, then holds the others back and demands (according to Meowth) that it wants no more tricky attacks, just a pure fucking fight... and the two Pokemon start beating the shit out of each other in a motherfucking Kung-fu fight!
Holy fuck do I love Pokemon!
Both Pokemon hit each other with one last blast, punching each other in the face before smiling at each other and gasping at each other that it wasn't a bad punch before both collapse. They stagger back up to their feet as Jesse and James congratulate them on a great fight, only for Meowth to translate that now the two Pokemon are saying they're gonna make Team Rocket pay... and send them blasting off again!
The "bad guys" dispatched, the two fighting types friends after beating the shit out of each other, peace is restored, and everyone decides it is time to eat!
They go back to chowing down at their campsite, Combusken still eating carefully, but this time when Corphish finishes gobbling its own food and reaches for Combusken's, a steely eye from Combusken warns it off. Hey, it's a jerk, but it isn't stupid!
Everyone laughs, enjoying their food and good company, enjoying that Combusken has turned into a kickass kung-fu machine as well, everyone eyeing it up with new respect (and a little fear).
All but one Pokemon, that is, because as badass Combusken might be, Grovyle remains Clint Eastwood cool leaning against the tree, relaxing and waiting, knowing that if it came down to it.... it could take Combusken down.
Who are any of us to disagree?
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I always thought my last words would be more profound than a stomach rumble.""Prepare for trouble, we're hungry to fight!" "Make it double, we'r-" "Hey! Forget dat, dere's food here!" |
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