352: Take This House and Shuppet
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355: Kagebouzu no yakata!
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Well, not quite, it's the milky way galaxy, and the narrator commenting on the broad expanse of the Universe, it's infinite reach, it's eternal depths... which has nothing to do with Team Rocket! We return to Earth, only to see Jesse, James and Meowth launched up out of the atmosphere screaming that they're blasting off again, their hair puffed up from static electricity, before plummeting back towards the earth!
They crash in front of a mansion and leap up, blaming each other while their hair continues to look ridiculous, and then kick into a fistfight!
As they fight, they're watched by a shadowy figure that causes them to glow red and suddenly their bad attitude fades, and they looked almost stoned.... oh my, where's the fun in that? Whatever this Pokemon at this nice house is, it can....
The twerps trudge along through the forest, their own hair screwed up by the actions of Team Rocket pre-episode start. May hates her curly hair, Max looks pissed, Ash is grumpy, Pikachu sad and.... Brock is digging it.
They reach a fork in the road and Max says it doesn't show up on his PokeNav, and since it doesn't seem to matter which way they go, they decide to head left.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are standing refreshed outside the mansion, chuckling that only moments ago they hated each other, but now they're cool... ahh well, that must mean they're really great friends! They break into the mansion using Meowth's claw, acting oddly complimentary towards each other before stepping inside, the doors shutting and locking behind them. Meowth tries to claw his way through but fails completely, and Jesse demands that James do something to let them out, and he snaps at her how? Magic!?! They begin arguing afresh, Meowth threatening to cut them up... and then the red glow surrounds them and suddenly they're all buddy-buddy again.
They head on deeper into the mansion, while outside it begins to rain, forcing the twerps to rush down the road. The rain has fixed their hair, and they spot the mansion ahead and rush to the doors, calling out to anyone inside, asking if they can come in. They figure no one is home but then the combination of rain and coldness makes them justify the idea of breaking in, suggesting the place is abandoned.... maybe even haunted. The doors suddenly creak open, freaking them out as they try to figure out if they should go in, and then lightning strikes behind them and May rushes in, followed shortly after by the rest. The doors shut behind them and they try to force their way out to no avail, and then spot the scratches left by Meowth's claws. May tells Max to find their way out and he snaps he can't, and she growls that it is his fault, he has a PokeNav and he can't even use it. He snaps that she couldn't even figure out how to turn one on, which she takes great exception too since she has never had any trouble turning things on in the past. As they argue, the shadowy Pokemon watches on, perhaps preparing to cover them with the red glow again... but then Ash and Brock start making peace, and Max asks May if she really means she doesn't need him around, and she grunts she doesn't, causing him to run off, an interior door opening before him and closing behind him, locking him away from the rest of the twerps. He moves on down the corridor as Ash and Brock admonish May, Max complaining that he doesn't need her either, and the Pokemon moves out of the shadows behind him, revealing itself as a Shuppet, surrounding him with that same red glow from earlier.
He turns as it disappears, wondering what that was about, confused as to why he isn't mad anymore, and then spots the reflection of the Shuppet in the window. He turns and sees it, and when he tries to get closer it disappears, and he laughs that it wants to play and starts chasing it around, almost falling down the stairs and getting saved by Psychic. It takes Max into the library and uses Psychic again to open the shelves, revealing a hidden away kid's playground.
What the hell kind of pedo paradise is this!?!
It begins playing on the slide with Max, both of them laughing, as elsewhere in the mansion the twerps wonder about trying to find Max. Outside, the rain clears and a woman appears at the doorstep, taking a key out of her pocket and moving to open the door, only for it to open before her. She steps inside and notices the scratches on the door.
Inside the pedo playground, Max is being turned on the merry-go-round by Shuppet, only to hear May calling for him and asking him to come out. He gets off of the Merry-Go-Round and rushes to small glass panels set into the wall, showing the interior corridors of the mansion....
Okay, some creepy old perv lived there.
....and overhears May telling a worried Ash and Brock that he'll come running back when he gets hungry, pissing off Max who can't believe she really doesn't care.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE IS THE BEST CHOICE TO BATTLE TYROGUE? NUZLEAF, EXPLOUD OR DUSTOX!?! WELL CLEARLY IT'S THE ANGRY ONE THAT SHOWS OFF ITS ASSHOLE ON A "KID'S" CARTOON!
The twerps keep calling for Max as they enter a dining rood, the door shutting behind them, and they insist it must be the wind... until they notice the curtains shifting in front of a closed window. Sitting underneath the dining table, Max giggles, Shuppet using Psychic to shift the curtains. He tells it to do another trick, and it begins shaking the tables and chairs, levitating the crockery and leaning the cabinet forward, causing the twerps to cheese it out of there, Max loving it.
May charges ahead of Ash and Brock, running head first into the tits of the lady with the key we saw earlier, knocking them both over. she apologises, but then the lady demands to know why they broke into her house and scratched up her door. Brock steps forward, the poltergeist forgotten in his desire to mack on the woman whose house he has broken into. He admits they did enter the house, but only to get out of the rain, and they found the interior lock scratched up, they didn't do it.... and once inside they have been running around dealing with all manner of odd things. He then tries to get his mack on, but May is too grumpy to allow it, pissed off that the animators have been drawing her breasts at wildly different sizes all episode.
The woman is concerned, strange things are happening AGAIN!?! They ask what she means, and she explains she has been trying to remodel for ages, but every time workers come in odd things happen and they end up leaving, and now no one will take on the jobs. She wants to turn the place into a hotel, telling them that when she was a girl this now slightly run down place was a gem, with wonderful gardens and a luxurious interior. But the twerps are more concerned about Max, they've pretty much confirmed the place is haunted now, and decide to split up to find Max, calling out all their Pokemon and giving them instructions.... and by a bit of luck the lady whose house they are in illegally decides to help them rather than dump their asses in prison for trespassing.
Back in the dining room, Max and Shuppet are still laughing over their earlier prank when they overhear Team Rocket arguing, blaming each other for coming to this big place that apparently doesn't have any food in it. But as they argue, they hear Torchic and turn to see it come stepping into the dining hall, calling out in its squeaky little voice, looking for Max. Max sees it and figures this means May DOES care, but then grunts that it is too late now, and then the apparently deaf and blind Torchic finds itself being menaced by Team Rocket.
It backs up in fright and Max wonders what he should do, then remembers May saying she didn't need a know-it-all brother and grunts that it is just too bad. But then as Team Rocket back Torchic up, Ash remembers how much May loves Torchic, but then insists that she never did anything for him anyway... and then remembers her sitting by his bedside once when he was sick.
He leaps out in front of Team Rocket which... well, it isn't exactly conducive to frightening a grown man and woman and an angry insane cat who is in love with his Organised Crime Boss leader. They spot Shuppet and James uses his index cards to look it up, discovering that it feeds off of emotions to grow larger....
It's a vampire!
They decide to catch it, since Giovanni has a tendency to blow his top, but as they approach, May rushes by the door and sees them, then overhears Max standing up for Torchic and Shuppet, saying that May loves it too much for him to let them take it.
She steps up beside Max saying he won't listen to Team Rocket, he never listens to ANYONE! But he's her brother and she loves him, and a wobbly eyed Max gasps that he loves her too.
Oh Max, she still won't let you see her naked.
"How nice, I may just throw up," grunts Jesse, then sends out Seviper, as James calls on Cacnea and gets a face full of prick.... as is his wont.
Torchic tackles back Seviper, then Cacnea tries Pin Missile only for Ember to burn through it, and May tells Max to back up. Seviper tries Poison Tail but Torchic dodges, and the blast shakes the floor and almost drops a cabinet on Max, May rushing to protect him with her far more valuable body.... but then Shuppet freezes it in place with Psychic.
Ash, Brock and the Landlord show up, and the latter spots Shuppet and remembers him from when she was a little girl and would sneak in to her Dad's perverted pedo paradise to play with it. She asks it to look into her eyes and remember her as the little girl, Emily, and it does, hugging her as the twerps watch on happily and Team Rocket.... do too! Even their Pokemon!
"But the mush has gone on long enough!" growls Jesse and grabs Shuppet in a net, then they leap out a window into the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, which Meowth has somehow summoned in a split second with a remote control.
"YEEHAH!" cries James as he leaps through the window.
"CACNEA!" agrees Cacnea.
"YIPPEE!" adds Meowth.
"WOOHOO" cries Jesse.
"BRRRRP!" brrrrp's Seviper.
"Prepare for trouble as we float away!"
"Make it double, as I like to say!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now along with your Shuppet or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBBUHHH!"
Emily demands back *her* Shuppet (the one she forgot existed) and Ash sends in Swellow, which avoids Pin Missile with Wing Attack, tearing through Shuppet's net and letting it float down to Emily. Pikachu blasts Thunder Attack and Team Rocket are sent blasting off again, fluffy hair included.... even on their Pokemon!
Now that doesn't make a lick of sense!
Max apologises to May and she apologises back to him as Swellow flies back to the window with Team Rocket, and a short time later as the sun is setting, Emily tells them that she and Shuppet are going to work together to convert her childhood home, perhaps in a desperate bid to destroy the memories of her hideous pederast Father. She asks the twerps if they'll come back and stay when the place is finished, and they assure her they will.
They'll never see her again.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "How nice, I may just throw up."
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