348: A Fan With A Plan
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351: Kyouteki!? Mama-san Kodhineta toujou!
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Well it's clear, they've stumbled into a Pokemon Games Console game, and pressing R1 activates the cheat to let you win! Surely this is the conspiracy of some player wanting to beat May to get the greatest credit of them all - credit with strangers on the Internet! Yep, this is definitely the work of....
At the Pokemon Centre, Nurse Joy explains that R1 ACTUALLY means that to enter, you must have earned at least One Ribbon - and luckily May has two of them. Nurse Joy explains that these are Grand Festival Rules, and when May admits she has never heard of these rules, a cocky voice speaks up to say this doesn't surprise him.
Holy crap, it's Drew!
Yes the cocky green-haired coordinator points is there as well, and tells May that he'll be taking part in the "small-time" Contest to get in some practise, but he doesn't know how well May will fare considering she's a coordinator who seemingly "stumbles from one contest to another". May is furious - despite having earlier admitted to the other twerps that she forgot there was a contest here and had to be reminded by Max when he pointed out the poster - and angrily points out that she has won ribbons in her last two contests, and a smirking Drew tells her he's just telling her how it looks to him. May seethes with anger, probably wondering what it will take to knock that self-assured smirk off of his face, and then gets the answer.... desperate middle-aged women!
Yes they surround the shocked young boy and moan away creepily about how they're fans of his, showing off Drew-themed Wallpaper for their Mobile Phones; Drew action figures and commemorative photographs! He seems taken aback by the sudden attention that a certain squinty eyed breeder
"HOW COOL!" coo the women together, "HE ACTUALLY TURNED HER DOWN!"
The shocked twerps stare on at the love-fest, Ash noting, "The ladies love him," when suddenly a tall, slim woman slides up next to May and asks her if she is Norman's daughter, and when she gets an affirmative answer, calls over the cooing women who desert Drew to fawn over a horrified May.
Drew flicks his fringe again and walks away with a smirk, while May discovers that the women aren't actually enamoured of her, but her Father. Max steps up and shouts into one of the woman's crotches that he is Norman's son, and they recognise him to.
"Just think, what it must feel like being able to call Norman your father!" gasps one woman breathlessly.
Okay... that's just creepy.
The tall woman who recognised May asks if she'll be taking part in the contest, and when she says she will, the woman - wearing a contest ribbon around her neck - declares she will be too. Suddenly the other women start chanting and calling out a synchronised cheer, calling the woman Savannah and describing their group as the MFP.
Middle-aged Female Perverts?
Savannah explains it means Mothers For Pokemon.
"Any openings?" asks Brock.
Okay, that's even creepier.
They explain they used to sit in the audience watching their kids taking part, but then started competing themselves, with only Savannah winning a Ribbon so far. Savannah insists that was just beginner's luck, and then another MFP pops over to Ash and tells him she recognises him, and he blushes and says she probably does.... only to have his ego destroyed when she looks through her book of "promising and handsome young trainers" doesn't include him.
Haha, talk about owned.
Outside, Team Rocket have entered the town as well and spotted the Contest Poster, and once again Jesse's mind is filled with dreams and fantasies of winning a Contest Ribbon - though of course she actually needs a ribbon first to compete. But Jesse won't let such mundane things as reality stop her, and she leaps back and thrusts her breasts out as she cries out, "BIG TIME!"
Yes, yes they are.
At the Contest Hall, Jesse screams angrily at the Registration Jockey, and he roars back at her after trying to maintain his dignity and poise that she CAN'T register, she needs a ribbon and she hasn't won any ribbons!
Jesse's reaction is.... poor.
She looks about frantically begging James and Meowth to tell her she won a ribbon, maybe she just forgot! But they shake their heads and tell her no.
Meanwhile, May is being treated to lunch by the MFP, who insist she is very good and they would tell her if she stunk. At first she tries to put on an air of modesty, but as they continue to talk up her skill; the way she raised her Skitty; and her obvious protege status for being Norman's son, she begins to lap it up, giggling happily and saying she just does her best.
Meanwhile, a grumpy Ash sits next to Max with Pikachu on his lap grunting that he's the one doing all the hard work going around winning Gym Battles. Max smirks and asks if he is getting jealous, while the MFP ask May what type of Pokemon she will use, and Savannah admits the same.
After lunch, the MFP depart leaving Savannah behind with the twerps, telling her they'll pick up everything on her list. The twerps ask what she means and she explains that all the MFP are mothers, so since she is taking part in the Contest, they're helping her with the tasks and duties of motherhood - picking up groceries, doing the cleaning etc. Brock points out that being a Mother is one of the toughest jobs there is, and she smiles and tells him he knows how it is. When Ash grins and says Brock is good as being a Mother himself, Savannah tells the delighted young horndog that one day, he'll be in high demand!
"I can see it now!" gasps Brock,"The ladies will love me... a domestic God!"
"Yeah," grunts Max, "I can see it now, a household heart-throb."
A short time later, Savannah shows off her Pokemon - a Lairon and Flareon, one a steel type and the other the Fire Evolution of Eevee. Savannah says she'll be using both of the Pokemon, explaining to May that since this is Grand Festival rules, the Coordinator will have to use two Pokemon, one for each round.
They head down the narrow town streets, and suddenly Brock seems to realise that - for a mother - Savannah has a pretty smoking rack. He pulls up short and declares that you never see perfect tomatoes this time of year before reaching out and giving them a squeeze!
Before he can be slapped down for perversion, however, it turns out to be perfectly innocent as he has spotted real ripe tomatoes sitting in a vendor's stand. He tells her they'd make a great salad and she says he really knows his vegetable, and starts muttering away about turning on women by knowing basic food groups while May tries to figure out which Pokemon she will use.
Brock spots a turnip and goes to grab it, but a small purple haired girl picks it up first, and Savannah recognises her... and well she should, it's Sandra - her daughter!
She introduces her to the twerps and points out that May will be in the Pokemon Contest and May and Max are Norman’s kids.... isn't that awesome!"
"Real mindblowing," sighs Sandra, obviously unimpressed, then apologises for her mother getting overexcited and asks if she can hold Pikachu before telling them that what she really wants to be is a Pokemon Trainer, and she wants to travel just like her mother did once.... a long, long time ago!
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON EVOLVES INTO SEVIPER? IS IT SABLEYE, ARBOK OR SUICUNE? THE ANSWER IS.... NONE OF THEM! FOR FUCKS SAKE, ARBOK DOES NOT EVOLVE INTO SEVIPER, ARBOK IS THE EVOLVED FORM OF EKANS JESUS CHRIST FIRE THE ASSHOLE WHO WROTE THAT HE HAS RUINED POKEMON FOREVER. FOREVER!
That night at the Pokemon Centre, May practises with Torchic, Beautifly, Skitty and Bulbasaur having them try different combinations of attacks that all fail pretty miserably. She remembers the MFP's high praise and overcomes her concerns, perhaps a little prematurely. But then she hears the voice of someone guaranteed to destroy any overconfidence she has - Drew! He's working with a Masquerain, a moth/butterfly like Pokemon with wings coloured like giant, furious eyes. She checks it out with Dextina, discovering it is the evolved form of Surskit. Drew has it use Bubble to create a spiral glowing effect, and May cries out that it is beautiful, getting Drew's attention. He smirks and tells her that if she wants to spy on him, she should come closer. He brags about the quality of his new Pokemon, then eyes up her Bulbasaur and tells her it is a pretty rare Pokemon for the Hoenn Region and asks if she means for it be entered in the Contest. She grins and calls Bulbasaur over, but it ignores her to stare at the Masquerain, and when Drew smirks that it appears to have a discipline problem, she gets ahead of herself and insists that it does AND she means to enter it in the Pokemon Contest!
Oh dear.
The next day, Bulbasaur looks about at the various Coordinators and their Pokemon and doesn't look overly confident. The other twerps arrive and ask if she wants to come shopping with them, and she replies that she and Bulbasaur have a lot of training to do. Their reaction to the news that she'll be using her brand new Bulbasaur in a Pokemon Contest is hardly an endorsement.
She insists that they'll be fine, then looks over and sees Savannah, who is obviously pretty nervous to be taking part in front of the biggest audience ever..... then drops down and cries out for help, moaning she can't go through with it. May approaches and she leaps up crying out that she needs help, this is only her second contest! May is taken aback by this admission, if this is only her second contest, then surely that means... she won a ribbon on debut!
Savannah insists it was a small contest and really she just got lucky, but then she spots Bulbasaur and giggles happily, scooping it up and explaining that her first Pokemon from long, long ago was a Bulbasaur, which now lives with her parents.
Meanwhile, Ash, Brock and Max are out shopping when Pikachu leaps down and rushes over to Sandra, jumping onto her shoulder. They join up with her, and learn she's doing some more shopping for her Mother.
Her mother, meanwhile, is training against May. Savannah has Lairon use Metal Claw, but Bulbasaur blocks with Vine Whip and Savannah squeals in delight that she loves that move, then has Flareon use Flamethrower. Bulbasaur blasts it away with Razor Leaf, and Savannah once again compliments May on Bulbasaur's talent, and a nervous May starts to point out that she can't be constantly praising and talking up her opponent when.... metal claws sweep down from the sky and steal May's fannypack and Savannah's Contest Ribbon!
"Hey, those aren't yours!" cries out Savannah.
"Prepare for trouble, they are today!"
"If you can't win 'em, steal them, that's what we always say!"
"To protect my entry status from devastation!"
"To allow a CERTAIN contestant to complete her registration."
"To denounce the evils of losing, that's true."
"To extend her winning streak from zero to two."
"Jesse."
"And James," sighs James.
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now, do me a favour, or I'll have to fight!"
"This contest will have a cute winner by tonight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!" sighs Meowth.
"WOBBUFFET!" grins Wobbuffet, the only one other than Jesse to show any enthusiasm.
Jesse takes May's ribbons and throws back her fannypack, telling them that of course she knows this means they can't enter, but now she can! May tells Bulbasaur to use Razor Leaf, but Jesse sends out Dustox and sends the Razor Leaf back with Whirlwind. The other twerps show up and May explains what is going on, while Savannah has Flareon use Flamethrower on a surprised Team Rocket.... and Wobbuffet steps up to the plate to save the day!
Jesse cries out in delight and has Dustox use Poison Sting, but Pikachu blasts it away with Thunderbolt, while Brock calls out Lombre and Mudkip and has them use Water Gun.... and Wobbuffet blocks it again! Jesse laughs that Wobbuffet needed a bath and it agrees happily, then they begin flying away. Sandra chases after them roaring that they can't steal her mother's ribbons, and a laughing Jesse has Dustox use Psybeam. Sandra pulls up in horror seeing the blast coming from her, and the tentacles wrap around her and haul her off of her feet!
But no, it's not a sudden raping out of nowhere, it's Bulbasaur saving her from certain.... tingling pain that would be quicker to wear off than the bruises she is now going to have on her ass for the next week.
Savannah is enraged and has Flareon use Flamethrower, and a confident Jesse tells Wobbuffet to block it... but the Flamethrower isn't aimed at Wobbuffet, but the balloon itself! It flares up in flames and crashes to the ground.
"Give back those ribbons!" demands Ash.
"I'd give Meowth and James up first!" growls back Jesse, much to their irritation.
James tells her that no one would believe she won the ribbons anyway and she is horrified, then grunts that she doesn't want the ribbons anyway and chucks them back to Savannah and May. Team Rocket then huffily asks if the twerps would be so good as to put out the flames on their balloon, and Sandra makes a suggestion to Savannah, who has Lairon use Water Pulse to explode water out of the air beneath them and send Team Rocket blasting off again and bemoaning the ungratefulness of the twerps.
You know, they may have stolen those ribbons.... but they've got a point!
Savannah thanks Sandra for all her help, and she tells her that all she has to do to make it all worthwhile she better win. Savannah thanks May for all the help Bulbasaur gave them, and Max says that maybe Bulbasaur is ready after all. She and Savannah agree that they're going to try the hardest in the Contest, and then Savannah points out how competitive things are likely to be considering who else is entering the Contest.
Oh yeah, that's right. For all of the building confidence and getting training that both May and Savannah have done, they can't forget the potential spanner in the works.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I can see it now! The ladies will love me... a domestic God!" "Yeah, I can see it now, a household heart-throb." "Give back those ribbons!" "I'd give Meowth and James up first!"
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