345: Hokey Pokeballs
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348: Fushigidane to Fushigidane! Monsuta Boru o torikaese!
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Bulbasaur calls out to the twerps as they chase the truck, and Ash and Brock use super-speed Force Burst to zoom ahead of May and Max and call out to the driver to pull over. He stops and they rush up to Bulbasaur, telling it not to run off like that, and insist that if it wants flowers, they'll find it a garden.
Meanwhile, at the Pokemon Centre a trio of workmen - a good looking blue haired young man; a built red-haired young women; and a horribly mutated midget with fur, a tail, ears, whiskers and fangs - work on the Centre's Pokeball Transport Device. Yes it's Team Rocket, they've infiltrated the Centre and are officially "fixing" the transporter, Jesse and Meowth giving James credit where it is due for coming up with the idea. He thanks them, telling them that his genius plan (go to the Pokemon Centre and fuck shit up) took him three whole nights to sort out and he even impressed himself!
The twerps enter the Pokemon Centre and are spotted by Team Rocket, while Ash asks Joy if she can look after their Pokeballs and Brock asks if she can look after his aching heart, and Max grabs his ears and tells him he'll make other parts of him start aching.
He... he will?
Team Rocket step up, caps pulled low, and tell Nurse Joy the transport is all fixed up, then leave, Meowth chuckling "dummies" while Joy tells Ash and May that their transporter stopped working, and they were lucky enough to get the workmen in so quickly.
"Phase one of the plan is in the can!" laughs James - who loves it when things are in the can - outside the centre.
Back inside, Ash, May and Max contact Professor Oak while Brock feeds all of their Pokemon. May calls over Bulbasaur and lifts it up, showing it to Professor Oak, who declares it an outstanding specimen. Ash asks how his Bulbasaur is doing, and Oak picks the startled looking Pokemon up, May's waving hello. Ash gets the idea to transport Bulbasaur over so they can meet and play and learn together, which is a great idea considering Bulbasaur has a tendency to beat the shit out of things. The Pokeball teleports, and Ash lifts the Pokeball up and tells Bulbasaur to come out... but nothing happens!
Ash is confused and shakes the ball about, and some kids come over and tell Ash that the same thing happened to them but they didn't bother to say anything about it. Nurse Joy walks over to ask if something is wrong, and four young kids (including a girl) turn around and present their balls to Nurse Joy!
Nurse Joy is shocked (you would be too if you got an eyeball for some kids' balls) and Max figures that it must be something to do with the workmen from earlier. She says it can't be the case, but then the "real" workmen show up to fix the transporter and she realises that this is indeed the case.
Outside, the extent of Team Rocket's clever techno-meddling is revealed.... and it's not high tech!
Yes they've slapped a pipe to the back of the transporter, so that every time a Pokeball is teleported, it rolls down the tube and into Team Rocket's waiting hands outside while fake are teleported to the kids and twerps inside.
Nurse Joy leads the twerps and the kids outside and discovers Team Rocket, who have been too busy gloating to cheese it out of there (their plan kind of hinged on the idea that trainers that got fake Pokeballs just wouldn't bother telling anyone). Nurse Joy yells that they're not really workmen at all, which is one Ash-level late realisation.
"Prepare for trouble, aren't you smart!"
"When it comes to twerps you're off the chart!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"It's Jesse."
"It's James as well!"
"Team Rocket perfectly pirouettes at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to spin and fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!" sings Meowth.
"WOBBUFFET!"
"I order you to return those Pokeballs!" demands Nurse Joy.
"Nurse Joy, I only take Doctor's orders!" mocks Jesse, and they leap into the basket of their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and lift into the air.
Ash sends out Taillow and May sends out Beautifly, and they give chase, only for two rubbery jets to shoot out of the bottom of the basket and blast Team Rocket away faster than Taillow and Beautifly can fly.
Pikachu tries to Thunderbolt them but misses, and James - who is knocking them all out of the park today - laughs that they were pricey but worth it while Meowth stares lovingly and admiringly at the brilliant blue haired boy... and then the jets start to short out and sizzle, Jesse gasping that they are burping and Meowth moaning that jet fuel gives you gas before they're sent blasting off again.
A Pokeball falls out of the sky and Bulbasaur grabs it with Vine Whip, and out of the Pokeball leaps.... Bulbasaur!
The Sheriff is back!
At the crash site, James stomps and throws a tantrum over the destroyed engine while Jesse and Meowth pick up the knocked down Pokeballs. They tell him to stop whining and he stomps some more over the cost of the failed jet engine, and Jesse leaps up and snaps at him to stash it before she stashes him. He sits down and helps pick up the balls, popping them into a sack and sliding it onto his back... and Jesse hands her sack of balls to him too and "thanks" him for carrying them for her. Meowth heads off carrying a sack and James follows muttering about his poor back, while balls fall out of a hole in the bottom of his sack, leaving behind a trail that can't be missed.
May's Bulbasaur leaves the trail suddenly, all excited, and the twerps watch eagerly as it... runs up and starts sniffing a flower.
"That's just great, your Bulbasaur found us a really nice flower," mutters Ash.
Ash's Bulbasaur (Sheriff Bulbasaur from now on, for ease of identification) rushes up behind it and points out they don't have time to waste, and when Bulbasaur lowers its head in shame, it pats it on the back and offers it some encouragement.
Taillow and Beautifly spot one of the Pokeballs and fly to bring it back to the twerps who have stopped to see a Shroomish a Nuzleaf doing an odd dance together. Sheriff Bulbasaur has been talking to the two Pokemon and shown them an approximation of Meowth with its Vine and learned which way they went. They find the crashed balloon and May's Bulbasaur finds a Pokeball on the ground, and then Taillow drops the Pokeball it found into Ash's hand and leads them in the direction that Team Rocket went.
HEY TRAINERS WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON IS THE BEST CHOICE TO FIGHT MEDITITE? NUZLEAF, COMBUSKEN, OR HERACROSS? WELL THE ANSWER IS... HANG ON A FUCKING SECOND, THEY'VE JUST SHOWN A PICTURE OF A GODDAMN BEAUTIFLY AND CALLED IT A NUZLEAF! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF OPERATION ARE THESE PEOPLE RUNNING!?!?!
Team Rocket have found a bare abandoned cabin, which Jesse thinks is poorly designed and that James thinks is cute. Meowth finds a set of skis in the cupboard but there isn't any snow, and then Meowth notices that one of James' sacks is smaller than the other.
Well yeah... but you don't bring it up in public!
They rush outside and spot the Pokeballs on the ground, and rush to pick them up, only for the twerps to arrive and demand they hand over their balls, while we get a very.... interesting.... view of James.
They rush back inside of the cabin and James hits a button... and it seems this cabin is one he prepared earlier, as a wall of steel surrounds the cabin! James laughs that they'll never get in now, and Jesse demands to know how the hell they're meant to get out?
Outside, the twerps spot an open window not sealed by James' walls, and May says she can use Bulbasaur's Vine Whips to get up through the window and get the Pokeballs out. Ash agrees, saying that he and Pikachu will attack the walls to keep Team Rocket distracted.
Jesse peers out a window THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE SEALED UP BY THE BIG FUCKING WALL THAT IS KEEPING THEM TRAPPED INSIDE and spots the twerps coming, while James tells them that it's time for his "throw mud at the wall and see what sticks" plan. Meowth tosses a stolen Pokeball into the air and James smacks it with the skis, and a Golbat emerges from the ball through the window and smashes into a surprised Ash.
Next out is a Primeape that... PUNCHES ASH IN THE FACE!.
Haha, hilarious.
Up on the roof, Brock says he better go and help out Ash down below, and May and Max have the two Bulbasaur sent their Vines down through the roof, and Team Rocket face the worst fear of all Japanese people everywhere.
Rampant tentacle rape!
James grabs the vines and tries to tie them in knots as Jesse pulls the Pokeballs away, James telling us that he was in the scouts (well... of course he was) while outside, Brock picks up the stolen Pokeballs and calls back Crobat and Primeape. Ash has Pikachu use Iron Tail ONCE and it smashes through the wall, Team Rocket being smacked out of the cabin by the tentacles and moaning,"That hurt" as May, Max and the two Bulbasaurs help Ash, Pikachu and Brock to surround them.
Jesse sends out Seviper and James sends out Cacnea, which immediately tries to hug James, who holds the flailing little lovesick Cactus back and asks it if they need to have "another talk".
Seviper uses Poison Tail and Bulbasaur quickly dodges, the Cacnea uses Pin Missile, raining down pain on May's Bulbasaur, then trying again, its missiles being knocked back momentarily by Razor Leaf and then overpowering it... and then the Sheriff leaps into the way, blasting the Pin Missiles away with a rough slap of Vine Whip.
Don't fuck with the Sheriff!
Seviper tries Poison Tail and Cacnea tries Needle Arm, but a double Vine Whip knocks them back into Jesse, James and Meowth and knocks them over, and the two Bulbasaurs lift up the sack of Pokeballs as Pikachu blasts the resurgent Team Rocket with Thunderbolt and sends them blasting off again.
The twerps rush up and thank the two Bulbasaurs for their good work, and they high five each other with their Vine Whips.
Oh you would too.
Back at the Pokemon Centre, all of the kids have their Pokeballs back, and Nurse Joy bends over in front of the smiling kids (you'd smile too) to thank the Bulbasaurs. But then Professor Oak calls up, beaten and bruised, not by some young lady's angry husband but the Grass and Water Pokemon that only Sheriff Bulbasaur can keep in line.
Ash tells Sheriff Bulbasaur it needs to get back right away, and they tell it they'll miss it but it needs to get back. Ash recalls it to its Pokeball and puts it on the teleport, sending it away as May's Bulbasaur smiles happily, because now it knows it has something to aspire to.
Being as awesome as the goddamn Sheriff!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Phase one of the plan is in the can!" "I order you to return those Pokeballs!" "Nurse Joy, I only take Doctor's orders!" "That's just great, your Bulbasaur found us a really nice flower."
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