344: Grass Hysteria
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347: Kindan no mori no ouja! Fushigidane!
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The twerps cheese it in fright as the steel monstrosity chases after them, but then Skitty leaps out of its Pokeball and meows happily at the impending doom. May rushes back to it and crouches protectively over it, and Skarmory grabs her backpack and lifts her into the air, flying away as the twerps give chase, only to be stopped at the entrance to a wooden wall stretching out on either side of them. The two hooded figures who stop them tell them this is the end of the line, but what does that mean? What's going on? Have these people gone crazy? Are they suffering....
The twerps are told they must leave, but Max and Brock explain that Skarmory grabbed May and flew her over the fence, and the two hooded figures are horrified, a human has gone beyond the walls!?! They take the twerps with them to see someone called Old Man Obie.
Meanwhile, beyond the wall, Skarmory drops May to the ground in a rocky outcropping above the forest and then flies away, which was a bit of an exercise in futility for it. May puts Skitty back in its Pokeball, then spots a little Bulbasaur with two heart-shaped marks on its forehead stretching over the edge of the rock to grab a pretty flower with its Vine. But then it slides forward and falls over the edge, only for May to grab it and save it from death. She sets it back and it backs off from her in fright, but she tells it that she means no harm and introduces herself, and the nervous Bulbasaur is instantly calmed and begins tickling her with its tentacle like vine as she giggles, further enhancing the propaganda that all underage Japanese girls love tentacle rape.
But then a Sunflora, Weepingbell and Vileplume rush it between them, and menace angrily at May.
Meanwhile, a bald, bearded old man called Old Man Obie is telling the twerps that no human can go beyond the wall, and so they must leave May behind, no human can pass beyond or risk the wrath of the grass Pokemon. But the twerps aren't exactly prepared to just accept this judgement, and when Old Man Obie realises that they intend to go through with it, he tells them to wait while they try to come up with a solution. As he and his two hooded companions walk away, up in the trees looking over Obie's home, Team Rocket's interest has been piqued.
"The wrath of a Grass Pokemon?" asks James,"Couldn't be worse than Jesse on a bad hair day."
Jesse grins that there must be super powerful Pokemon in that forbidden territory, and Wobbuffet slides out of the tree leaves above them, agrees, then slides back out of sight as Meowth declares they should catch the Pokemon and give them to the boss.
Meanwhile, May is facing the wrath of those Grass Pokemon, dodging Stun Spore, Razor Leaf and Vine Whip before Bulbasaur jumps in front of the three bullies to try and talk them down. Weepingbell grabs it with Vine Whip and hauls it away, and then even more Grass Pokemon show up and fire very, very, very, very slow attacks at May, giving her time to call out Torchic and use Ember to blast the grass attacks away, then cheese it, leaving behind the little Bulbasaur which is blocked off from following her.
Meanwhile, the twerps are tired of waiting for Old Man Obie and his companions to come to a decision and decide to leave, but not before Ash apparently pees on the side of the village well. Inside Obie's house, argument is raging over the law regarding entering the forbidden territory when the yapping of wickle Poochyena puppies gets their attention. They're standing by the now deserted well, barking at where Ash must have "left his mark". They gasp in shock, it seems that the kids are heading for the forbidden territory, and Obie yells they must be gotten back before they can enter.
But can they stop them in time? After all, the twerps obviously have a plan to get past that wall. Maybe it involves using their Pokemon? Or an intricate pulley system? Or maybe they plan to climb like monkeys?
Nope.... they're just running into it full tilt, hoping the flesh of their small bodies will overcome the solid wooden logs.
The "guardians" show up so Ash goes with plan b, they'll grab the vines hanging down from the top of the wall directly in front of them and scale up them!
Goddammit, Ash.
The wickle Poochyena puppies run as fast as their little fluffy legs will carry them, and Brock and Max's vines snap and drop them to the ground, the little puppies pulling up a few feet from them and yapping excitedly because now they gets pettings, yay! Brock and Max yell at Ash to keep going, and he heads on into the Forbidden Territory, leaving them behind.
Elsewhere, the Grass Pokemon are still looking for May, and surround her and Torchic after leading her with Stun Spore in the direction they want her to go. She throws her hands protectively over her boobs and tells them she doesn't mean them any trouble, but Vileplume won't hear any of it and prepares to blast her when suddenly... IT'S THE RETURN OF ACTION HERO ASH!
Yes, back from the Orange Islands, taking a leaf out of the dramatic book of ACTION PROFESSOR BIRCH FROM ACTION UNIVERSITY, DES MOINES it's Ash, landing dramatically in front of May and telling her he's here now.... and uhhh.... yeah, that's the extent of his plan.
The Grass Pokemon menace at them but Pikachu clears a path with Thunderbolt, and Ash grabs May's hand and pulls her away, which would be all very dramatic and romantic if he was one of the 99% of the rest of the Pokemon World's Human population that wants to bone her.
And yes, that probably includes her Dad, as well.
Pikachu clears a path again for them as they run, but they reach the edge of a cliff and realise they're boned, as the Grass Pokemon surround them and ignore Torchic and Pikachu's protests, preparing to cast them to their death.... and then one big bad motherfucking Venusaur shows up.
"VENUSAUR!" roars Venusaur.
"What's that!?!" asks May.
"A Venusaur," replies Ash.
Wow.... his stupidity is contagious?
The Bulbasaur May saved earlier is there too, and it Venusaur waggles its vines over Ash and May, then picks up Torchic and shakes its head, and Ash realises that Grass Pokemon don't like Fire Pokemon, so May calls it back into its Pokeball. Venusaur turns and tells the other Grass Pokemon that May saved the Bulbasaur, so it must be okay. How do we know this? Because watching from elsewhere in the forest is Team Rocket, and Meowth is providing a running translation.
"That Venusaur must carry a lot of weight in their community," suggests James.
"Forget about how fat it is," grunts Jesse back deadpan, "It's obviously their Boss."
Jesse suggests that Venusaur must know some fancy moves, and James grins and asks if she means they should capture it, and Meowth adds an amendment that while they're at it they might as well capture all the rest as well, and Wobbuffet happily pops up and salutes, shouting what is essentially happy gibberish at them all, going ignored.
Meanwhile, Ash and May have been taken to a lake at the foot of a split waterfall, the Grass Pokemon showing off their nice, human free digs. The little Bulbasaur brings May the flower is picked earlier and she thanks it, and Ash says that was so nice it reminds him of him Bulbasaur.
Well yeah, except that was more likely to kick you in the nuts than bring you a flower.
Bulbasaur suddenly grabs May's wrist with its Vine and pulls her away, and Ash and Pikachu chase after, May laughing that it sure is strong for such a little Pokemon.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE POKEMON EVOLVES INTO MANECTRIC? ELECTRIKE, MANTINE OR ELECTRODE? IF YOU CHOSE... WELL JESUS CHRIST, IF YOU DIDN'T GET THIS RIGHT, DON'T EVER LOOK IN A MIRROR, YOU'LL GET CONFUSED AND STARVE TO DEATH
Bulbasaur leads May to the edge of another cliff, showing a view of the huge forest, and far in the distance, a town. Ash guesses that Bulbasaur has never left the forest, and May tells Bulbasaur there is a whole world out there, full of stores and shops and malls full of clothes! Well, maybe Bulbasaur doesn't care about the clothes, but still, going on a journey is fun.
Outside of the wall, Old Man Olbie is explaining the history of the forest to Brock and Max. A long time ago, humans from far and wide came to this forest to try and capture Grass Pokemon in order to service them. The Grass Pokemon got pissed off at this and started fighting back, and some real shit got fucked up until finally the wall was built to protect the humans from the Pokemon and the Pokemon from the humans. The village's sole purpose is to protect the wall and the Pokemon inside, and luckily for them a geo-magnetic anomaly in the earth in the area means compasses, electronic maps etc do not work.
Inside, Ash tells May they should be getting back, but then the panicked cries of the Grass Pokemon gets their attention and they rush out to find them running away as they are chased by.... by a giant robot with an R on it's chest, giant rubber red hands and a bizarre curly afro of brown hair and... and...
And tits.
The robot has tits.
"Prepare for trouble we're having oodles of fun!"
"And make it double as you gaze on our mechanized marvel the mean old lady mark one!"
Wow.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"Jamesy!"
Wow.
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
Jesse says they've grabbed enough Grass Pokemon, but James says you can never have enough of a good thing, and they jump back into the head of the Mean Old Lady Mark One. Pikachu blasts it with Thunderbolt, but it absorbs the energy and sends it flying back, and inside the cockpit Meowth laughs and says he's told them enough times that they're electric proof... and Wobbuffet pops into view as the R on the wall twists around to reveal it happily saying its name before the R spins back around into view again.
Oh Wobbuffet.
Ash and May cheese it, the robot chasing, James laughing,"That ain't no way to treat a lady!"
Meanwhile, the little Poochyena puppies are leading Old Man Olbie, his companions and Brock and Max through the forest, Max trailing a rope behind him as their method of getting back to the wall later on. They hear Bulbasaur cry out as it is lifted up by the bulb by the Mean Old Lady Mark One..... and then Venusaur slaps the robot in the face with Vine Whip.
"It wants to help!" gasps May.
Well.... no shit.
"MY LADY FINGER!" squeals Meowth as the hand of the robot is slapped aside by Venusaur, and then the big Pokemon smacks the robot in the face as well, causing it to spin wildly around, and then Venusaur grabs the backpack holding the captured Grass Pokemon and tries to pull it free as Meowth kicks the robot into high gear to escape.
Team Rocket reverse the Bot, causing Venusaur to go flying backwards, and then the Robot grabs Bulbasaur, May grabbing onto it and lifted bodily into the air and dropped into the robot's bag. Outside, Ash helps Venusaur up, and then looks surprised when the Robot begins to get knocked back and forth, seemingly by nothing.
"What's happening to Mean Old lady!?!" demands Jesse.
"I don't know, old age?" suggests James, and the Meowth growls that it is the captured Grass Pokemon causing trouble from inside the bag.... and Wobbuffet pops out from its little hidden room to agree before disappearing again.
As May and the Grass Pokemon hammer against the sides of the bag, Ash yells out to get Bulbasaur to use Razor Leaf, and the completely unexpected happens.... Mean Old Lady's sack explodes!
Woah, no wonder she is so mean!
May leads the Grass Pokemon away but Mean Old Lady tries to grab them with a rubber hand, only to be hit by three Shadow Balls from Old Man Olbie's Poochyena puppies, blasting the hand off. Pikachu tries to blast the Bot again with Thunderbolt, but again it is sucked up and Meowth laughs that he did tell them.... and then Venusaur lets rip with a massive burst of Solar Beam and sends Team Rocket blasting off again... Wobbuffet patiently saluting, still attached to the hidden door and apparently delighted to be so.
As the sun sets, the twerps, Old Man Olbie, his companions and the cute little puppies stand with the Grass Pokemon at the wall separating their worlds. Old Man Olbie apologises for interfering with their forest, the twerps say their apologies to Venusaur and then they turn to leave, May stopping to say goodbye to the little Bulbasaur. She says she will miss it and steps through the wall which starts to close, and Venusaur turns and looks at the little Bulbasaur staring at May's ridiculously oversized boobs..... and then it charges forward and leaps directly into them, fulfilling a dream of Brock's that will never be realised.
The Grass Pokemon beam happily and say their goodbyes, and May lifts Bulbasaur up high, thrusting her boobs out as everyone stares at them and smiles happily.
You would too, Gentle Dodgers, but you'd be arrested if you got caught out.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "The wrath of a Grass Pokemon? Couldn't be worse than Jesse on a bad hair day."Venusaur: "VENUSAUR!"  "What's that!?!" "A Venusaur.""That Venusaur must carry a lot of weight in their community." "Forget about how fat it is..." "MY LADY FINGER!""What's happening to Mean Old lady!?!""I don't know, old age?"
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