341: Balance of Power
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344: Touka Zimu taiketsu! Itsutsume no Bazzi!
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Ash steps up to the challenger's side of the Battle Arena and tells Norman that he means to walk out with his Fifth Gym Badge, and Norman grins that it is this fighting spirit that has seen him eager to face Ash again.
Sitting with the other twerps and her Mother on a bench by the sidelines, May is excited to see the match, which irritates Max who snaps that there is no chance at all of their Father losing... why he's so good a Trainer that they're considering making him a member of the Elite Four!
Caroline - who is a lot less tense than the last episode due to a night of knock down, drag out, knuckle bleeding, illegal in almost EVERY state, anniversary sex - rubs Max's shoulders and says he needs to relax and enjoy watching his Father in action for the first time, because she thinks this is going to be a great match. They settle in to watch, divided in who they want to see win and lose, creating an interesting....
In a hidden cave behind the base of a nearby waterfall, Team Rocket have moved a bunch of crates inside the cave in preparation of building an underground Team Rocket base. As they sob with delight over their imagined praise and acknowledgement from Giovanni, we return to the Gym where the battle is set to begin.
Kenny is acting as officiator, explaining that the match will be three-on-three, going till either Norman or Ash's Pokemon are unable to battle. During the battle, only Ash will be allowed to substitute his Pokemon, meaning that if one of Norman's Pokemon is in trouble, he can't recall it.
Norman sends in Slakoth first, and Ash brings in Pikachu. He has it use Quick Attack, but the slow moving Slakoth.... dodges! It blasts at Pikachu with Shadowball, but Pikachu leaps over it and slides in with Iron Tail only for.... Slakoth to dodge again!
Pikachu collapses, spinning out of control due to the unexpected slow-fast movement of Slakoth. The sleepy looking Pokemon fires Hidden Power at Pikachu, surrounding it with balls of light, and Ash tells it to use Thunderbolt to blow them away.... but the Hidden Power zooms in before it can and smashes Pikachu backwards over to Ash. Brock suddenly realises what Norman's strategy is, usually Ash starts a battle with a quick series of speed attacks to disorient an opponent, but against Slakoth that just doesn't work. Caroline nods and congratulates Brock on his astute observation (he wasn't staring at her tits so his brain was working!) while Pikachu staggers back up to its feet and Norman grins that it is this kind of feisty stubborn fighting spirit that he was expecting from a battle with Ash.
Ash grits his teeth and glares at the Slakoth, which swings its long arms hypnotically back and forth while staring in a seemingly dull stupor. Ash can't figure out what to do, usually his Speed Attacks work, so he calls for a Thunder, only for Slakoth to dodge and knock Pikachu back again with Blizzard. He yells at it to use Thunder again but Pikachu is freezing in the cold and can't move! Even the observing twerps are freezing as well, May covering up her nipples to keep WB from getting into trouble with the local Society of Concerned Parents Who Can't Be Arsed Looking After Their Own Kids And Want To Use The Television As A Babysitter...
Better known by the catchy SCPWCBALATOKAWTUTTAAB.
...and Ash tells Pikachu to return before sending in a Pokemon not noted for its speed.
Torkoal!
It tries a Flamethrower but Slakoth dodges aside, then lets loose with another Blizzard, which melts against the Flamethrower as May tugs at her collar and moans it is too hot, and then Slakoth is sent flying backwards into Norman's arms.
Kenny announces that Slakoth is unable to battle and Torkoal wins the round, and Torkoal cries in delight while Caroline assures Max that everything is going to be fine. Norman congratulates Ash on his substitution and sends in Vigoroth, and Ash tries to end things quickly with Overheat.... but misses!
And Vigoroth knocks Torkoal out with one shot!
Brock is very impressed, pointing out that using first a slow moving Slakoth and then a fast moving Vigoroth confuses his opponent. May is impressed, point out that her Dad is really good, and a smug Max asks her what she expected!
Ash sends Pikachu back in, knowing he only has one other Pokemon he can use now, and Norman is interested in seeing how their rematch from Ash's start in Hoenn goes.
Meanwhile in the cave behind the waterfall, Meowth is snapping angrily at Jesse and James to do exactly what he says. They snap at him that if he doesn't like what they're doing, maybe they should order him about, and he retorts that they're the brawn, he's the brains, and he needs to order "dem bums" around.... and they drop a crate on him!
"The brawny bums have voted you out," grunts Jesse.
"Welcome to the working class," adds James.
Meowth suggests they hire workers to do all this heavy labour for them, but they're aghast at the idea, Team Rocket are against outsourcing!
At the battle, Pikachu tries a Thunderbolt but misses the fast moving Vigoroth, which leaps off the wall and moves in for a Scratch Attack... and gets hit by Pikachu's Iron Tail!
But Norman was apparently prepared for this, and orders Vigoroth to use... Flamethrower! Pikachu is sent falling backwards and staggers up smoking as Max gasps over the fact that Vigoroth can use Flamethrower, and Caroline tells her kids that their Father has been inspired by Ash's determination; he's not battling his usual gameplan.
May calls out to Ash to use a substitution but Brock snaps that he can't do that, he only has one Pokemon left to use after Pikachu, he has to save it. May slaps her hands over her mouth and says never mind, while Norman echoes his daughter and tells Ash he is surprised he hasn't substituted his Pikachu yet. Ash replies that Pikachu and he are going to keep going, then suddenly realises what he has to do, and orders Pikachu to use Quick Attack. It zooms forward and dodges Flamethrower from Vigoroth as Ash tells it to keep running, then stops at Ash's command and lands in a Scratch Attack... and it is Vigoroth that gets hurt!?!
Brock explains what Ash instinctively knew when he saw his tired Pikachu sparking, due to the nature of an Electric Pokemon's power; it can sometimes paralyse an opponent with static electricity. Vigoroth staggers back, unable to control its body, and takes an Iron Tail right in the face from Pikachu and... goes down!
Pikachu wins!
And then Pikachu goes down!
Yes apparently its exertions were too much for it, and Pikachu falls a moment after Vigoroth, meaning that both Norman and Ash are down to their last Pokemon!
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON EVOLVES INTO MAGCARGO? IS IT TORKOAL, CORPHISH OR SLUGMA? WE'LL GIVE YOU A CLUE; IT'S THE ONE THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY GODDAMN FEET EITHER!!!!!
Brock takes a tired Pikachu from Ash as the final round of the battle begins, and Ash's last choice is no real surprise considering that he all ready knows Norman means to use Slaking. He calls out his current MVP, Grovyle, and it stares down the hulking Slaking coolly, knowing that the bigger they are, the... well, it doesn't matter, it's Clint Fucking Eastwood!
May notes that they're both big, scary Pokemon and Caroline laughs that she wouldn't want to be in the middle of the two of them.
That's right, her Anniversary was last night, and Norman's window of opportunity to suggest something like that is closed for at least another year!
Ash orders a Bullet Seed and Slaking throws its arms up and takes a direct shot, then lifts its head and snickers at Grovyle. The twerps are amazed, Slaking's massive hands are apparently so built up they're like steel plates, and Norman adds insult to injury by pointing out that since Slaking is known as the "lazy" Pokemon, it takes some real action to get its fighting spirit up, and a "weak" attack like Grovyle just threw at it won't do anything.
Ash takes this in, then orders Grovyle to use Leaf Blade. It extends its leaves and they glow bright as it charges in and slashes.... and Slaking grabs it by the leaf and tosses it aside!
Grovyle hits the ground hard and Slaking moves in with Focus Punch.... and Grovyle blasts it right in the fucking face with Bullet Seed!
Slaking staggers backward and Ash and Grovyle are delighted, but Norman seems almost... amused? And then Slaking raises its head up and let’s loose a blood-curdling roar.
Grovyle has just woken Slaking's fighting spirit!
It begins beating its chest and Max watches in delight as his Daddy proves his belief in him was well founded. Slaking leaps up and smashes into the ground, kicking off an Earthquake which shakes the Gym.... and Team Rocket's cave as well!
Jesse and James pause in their work to look around in confusion, asking Meowth what he thinks... and he charges back and forth screaming for them to cheese it, a delighted Wobbuffet saluting and agreeing. Dugtrio suddenly burst out of the dirt, affected by the quake, and head off. Team Rocket guess it was just the Dugtrio all along, and Jesse kicks a rock at them as they head off, bouncing it off one of their heads. They turn back around and begin chasing Team Rocket round and round in circles, causing them to cry out,"Looks like Team Rocket's spinning their wheels again!"
At the Gym, Ash orders Grovyle to jump above the Earthquake and come down with Pound, but once more Slaking proves its speed by grabbing the leaf on Groyvle's head and spinning it round and round before releasing it to fly crashing into the rooftop.
Ash orders it to use Bullet Seed as it falls, and it blasts at Slaking, which fires back with Hyperbeam and smashes Grovyle in the face, sending it crashing into the ground as the twerps watch in amazement and Grovyle..... gets the fuck back up!
Clint Eastwood ain't a bitch, and he AIN'T going out like that!
But then Norman speaks up, telling Ash that Hyperbeam has obviously taken a lot out of Grovyle, and there will be no shame if Ash surrenders now. In fact, it is not just a Trainer's right to do so, but their duty, to save their Pokemon from harm.
So it seems this battle is ove-
OUR BITCH AIN'T GOING OUT LIKE THAT!
Grovyle braces itself and grits its teeth angrily, channeling both the spirit of its cowboy persona as well as fulfilling its place as the replacement for the mighty Charizard. Ash asks it if it is sure it wants to continue and it is, so he tells it to show Slaking what it is really made off and it.... blasts a green aura of energy around it, using Overgrow, a little used technique that increases its power!
Max asks why it waited till now to use this, and Brock surmises that it needed to feel the complete confidence Ash has in its battling skills. That, coupled with not wanting to let down the rest of Ash's team, means it was able to summon up the strength to use this obviously last-ditch power.
Slaking pounds an Earthquake but Slaking jumps high and glows its leaves green with Leafblade, then bounces off of Slaking's head, bounces off the wall by Norman, bounces off of Slaking's head again and then slams it RIGHT IN THE FUCKING FACE with Pound!
Grovyle lands impressed with itself, and the twerps are impressed, and Norman is too and... Slaking isn't! It stands tall and beats its chest in defiance, then zooms in with a full power Focus Punch! Ash orders Grovyle to head in with a full power Leaf Blade, and the two Pokemon charge at full tilt right towards each other.
They pass each other having delivered their blows, and we wait to see which has been cut in half in true anime fashion.... whoops, we mean which will fall. They stand backs facing each other, and then Grovyle buckles slightly as Slaking smiles knowingly.
For you see, Gentle Dodgers, Grovyle is agile, strong and fast but Slaking is just an out and out powerhouse. In a one on one battle like this, there could only be one result, and thinking that Grovyle could win purely based on being a cool, Clint Eastwoodesque badass alone is just childish. Ash has lost this battle, and now we have the inevitable retraining series of episodes to look forward to before Ash gets another shot at May and Max's father. Such is the way of life, though, and....
....and.....
OUR.
BITCH.
AIN'T.
GOING.
OUT.
LIKE.
THAT!
SLAKING FALLS! SLAKING FALLS! Grovyle is hurt but left standing and Kenny makes the announcement, the winner of the match is ASH!
ASH MOTHERFUCKING WINS!
Norman kneels down beside Slaking and tells it that it did a great job, while Caroline says that you can't win them all, then turns to look at Max who is.... absolutely fucking devastated!
They step outside of the Gym and Norman tells Ash he hasn't had such a great fight in a long time and offers Ash his Balance Badge.... but Max tears it out of his hand and runs off in a rage, locking himself in the greenhouse!
They follow after him, calling for him to come out, but Max will hear none of it, wailing as tears run down his cheeks that Daddy lost, how could Daddy lose? And to say he ENJOYED LOSING!?!?!
May snaps at him that their Father is a Gym Leader and he knows how Gym Battles go, but Max's retort is why the hell isn't SHE sad?
She replies that it wasn't easy watching him lose, but what is important is that he fought as hard as he could. Brock tells him that Gym Leaders don't work hard and hold Gym Battles just so they can win all the time, and Max screams that this doesn’t make it okay to lose.... and Norman shouts back that yes, yes it does!
He tells Max that losing can be quite the wise teacher, using the example of Ash and Grovyle for how their hard work together gave them strength they didn't know they had. Ash steps up and tells Max if he wants to keep the badge that is okay, since Ash thinks the lessons he learned fighting Norman were the most important thing... and then Max steps out of the Greenhouse and asks Norman if he might be able to battle his Father when he becomes a Trainer, then hands the badge over to Ash... who then just goes ahead and celebrates happily beating up Max's Daddy right in front of the little boy who still has tears in his eyes.
Oh, that's coooold!
And thus the episode ends with Ash finally gaining his Fifth Gym Badge and Max learning that your Daddy isn't always the toughest, hardest bastard in the world.
Well, unless your Daddy was Grovyle or Charizard, but that would just raise a whole lot more problems than it would solve!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "The brawny bums have voted you out." "Welcome to the working class."
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