339: A Double Dilemma
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342: Papa wa Aidoru!? Itsuwari no Jimu Rida!
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At the Pokemon Centre, a happy stout woman named Rose has brought in the latest vegetables delivery, but finds herself distracted when Nurse Joy recognises May and Max as Norman's children. As she greets them (and Brock tries to get his mack on with Nurse Joy), Rose tears out of the Centre and down the street screaming out for all and sundry to hear that Norman's Children have returned to Petalburg!
Hope Social Services doesn't find out!
The twerps leave the Centre and head on down the street, Max saying that they're not famous, their Dad is.... but then a massive crowd of people come zooming in to surround them, eager to get an interview with May and.... well, just May, no one gives a shit about Max. They've all heard that May is on her way to becoming a Top Coordinator, and she shows off her two contest ribbons, saying that she knows that it isn't "much" but hey, two is better than none. But the crowd seems enraptured, and Ash is delighted, if they loved that, they'll love him! He leaps into May's way to show off his four Gym Badges, and is greeted with... complete indifference. No one gives a shit about him, and they make that clear by shoving him out of the media scrum as they turn their attention back to May.
Hmmm, if they're uninterested in Ash and even Max, then maybe the "two things" that have got them excited aren't May's contest ribbons, but two things a little higher on her chest?
Speaking of boobs, Team Rocket trudge along the street of North Petalburg dejected, hungry and poor before spotting a thriving business and thus... a business opportunity! A giant poster of Norman and Caroline - May and Max's parents - hangs in front of one building front, and Jesse recognises him as the Petalburg City Gym Leader. As they look around they realise that all of North Petalburg has gone Norman crazy, selling Norman t-shirts and posters and badges and other shoddy merchandise.
"We're in da Valley of the Norman!" gasps Meowth.
And Jesse gets an idea!
Oh. My. God.
Yes their idea is to dress up as Norman, Caroline, May and Max.... and it's as horrifying as it sounds and the image looks. Though perhaps not as horrifying as the idea that they had May and Max's outfits in their inventory, in Meowth and Wobbuffet sizes no less!
They're spotted by a local who stares at the obviously far younger than normal "Norman" and "Caroline"; the tiny furry faced, whiskered and cat-eared "May"; and "her" taller, club armed, black tailed, noseless blue-skinned younger brother "Max" and reacts much as you'd expect.
He totally falls for it!
He and others surround them eagerly, and then take a closer look at "May and Max" and start to wonder if maybe things aren't quite what they seem.
"Suddenly I'm not feeling quite as perky," mumbles a worried Jesse, despite her chest's appearance to the contrary.
"Everything was going as planned and then "your kids" had to go mess it all up!" hisses James.
Meowth blames Wobbuffet for being so big and blue, and then a terrifyingly large muscled man in an apron declares he has lived next to Norman for years and he'll know, and peers closely at the "kids" before.... declaring they're the real deal and hugging them!
The man declares to the crowd they're Norman's children without a doubt, though he does note that "Max" has grown a great deal but looks a little "blue", is he cold? "Norman" and "Caroline" insist it's cold on the road and "Max" declares,"WOBBUFFET!" in pleased agreement, before the man turns his gaze on "May" and notes she hasn't grown at all since they first met, and "she" giggles that most people lose weight on the road, but she just shrunk!
Meanwhile, the real May and Max are trying to convince the media scrum and happy crowd that they really need to get going now. But they won't let them, Rose asking May to show off a Co-Ordinator attack, and Max grunts at her to show them and she acquiesces as the crowd cheers. She calls out Beautifly and tells it to show off Silver Wind, and it twists in a spiral and drops sparkles over the cheering crowd. May gets a little over enthusiastic at this deciding to do an encore. As the crowd watches in delight, two young men approach Ash and Brock, exuding testosterone and alpha-male waves. They ask if they're really travelling with May and Max, and when they say they are the two boys demand to know what the hell they're doing in North Petalburg anyway. Ash, still not used to the concept that the world doesn't revolve around him, declares happily he's come to challenge Norman, and the kids snap angrily that not just anyone can walk in off of the street and expect to be allowed to face off with Norman. Only special selected trainers can.... so why don't he and Brock just bog off to some other Gym, the sooner the better!
Brock suggests to Ash that the kid seems to be hinting he wants a fight, and Ash is more than pleased to. They head off to a nearby field and the kid shows he has good reason to act like an Alpha Male, because he's got a Golduck! The awesomely kickass Pokemon would make anyone proud, but Ash isn't exactly lacking in the kickass department himself, as he calls out Grovyle.
The battle kicks immediately into high gear, Golduck trying a Focus Punch that Grovyle dodges before sending Golduck staggering back with Bullet Seed. It does the same to Grovyle with Hydropump to knock it off of its feet, but when it tries Scratch, Grovyle uses Quick Attack and slams it backwards with a headbutt before unleashing the awesome power of its Leaf Blade.
Meanwhile, Meowth-May is selling "Daddy's Autograph!" and there are plenty of people willing to line up, while "Norman" and "Caroline" sell from their own souvenir shops.
Back at the battle, Golduck collapses and Ash declares his victory, asking if the little Alpha Male admits he is good enough to battle Norman now..... and instead finds himself challenged by a whole bunch of fresh challengers all wanting to take him down a peg!
As they line up to challenge, any reasonable person would declare this was ludicrous and walk away. Any sane person would at least run from a potentially angry mob. And thus, Ash.... calls out Corphish to help him deal to them!
Meanwhile, May has Skitty juggling balls while Max mutters that she needs to realise when to quit while she is ahead. That is a lesson Ash could well learn too, as we return to find he and his Pokemon exhausted from thrashing challenger after challenger.
But there are still more challengers wanting to fight, and Ash mutters he wishes they would battle each other... until one of them suggests that he doesn't have what it takes and he roars angrily that he can take them all on at once... and they agree! They send out multiple Pokemon and Ash has Pikachu Thunder them all into submission, declaring final victory.... and they send out even more Pokemon as fresh challengers!
May has also discovered you can have too much of a good thing, as she and Skitty sit exhausted amongst a bunch of balls and...
GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!
...she mumbles that she doesn't want to bore them with any more, and they insist they could never be bored, they want more, more, more!
Luckily she is saved by the two battered and beaten alpha male boys show up warning that "some stuck up trainer" has shown up claiming he wants to battle Norman... and he's pretty good! The reporter and Rose are horrified, but then they have an idea! Why not let May go out there and show that trainer a thing or two!
Ash sits rocking back and forth in exhaustion, arms clutched in his lap and looking for all the world like he is masturbating over how awesome he is. But then the angry crowd arrives, having literally put May and Max on a platform, chanting, "DO IT MAY! DO IT MAY!"
Is it mardi gras all ready?
Ash asks what is going on and May mutters she is supposed to be teaching some stuck up trainer a lesson, and when Ash asks where this trainer is, the crowd points to him! Brock mutters that they're not shy in this town, while Rose turns to beseech her new Demi-God (May) to show the "little brat" what Norman's daughter is made off.
Ash grunts angrily that one more battle it is then, and he means to win it!
HEY TRAINERS WHICH OF THESE IS THE BEST POKEMON TO BATTLE CORPHISH WITH? MINUN, MAROWAK OR NINCADA? THE ANSWER IS SUPPOSEDLY MINUN, BUT THAT WIDE-EYED JERK CORPHISH WON'T PUT UP WITH ANY OF THIS PSEUDO-PIKACHU BULLSHIT!
Back at the fountain, the crowd are confused by the disappearance of "Norman", "Caroline" and "their kids". Where are they? Why they're running away with sacks of moolah, of course! But the crowd won't let them get away so easily, and give chase, not concerned about the money but getting more hot Norman family exposure.
At the battle, May and Ash's Pokemon are all pretty much exhausted, and so it is down to Torchic versus Taillow with Rose acting as the impartial(?) judge. Taillow swoops in with a Peck Attack, and Torchic turns and runs away in horror, getting pecked on the head as Ash grins... and then gets booed angrily by the crowd. He sends in Taillow with a wing attack but gets even MORE booed by the crowd.
This distracts him enough for May to order a Ember Attack... which actually hits Ash! May cries out in delight that she's winning, and orders a fresh Ember Attack that combines into an almost Flamethrower-like move that burns up Ash while Taillow dodges.
Rose declares that May is the winner since "the brat" can't battle any further, and May cries out in delight while Max mutters that a win is a win, no matter how undeserved. A burnt up Ash (who technically hasn't lost since... you know, Torchic never scored a shot on Taillow and May should have been disqualified for attacking her opponent instead of his Pokemon) is delirious, asking to see his next challenger. The crowd crowds around May (that's what crowds do, they crowd!) and Max, a young man pops up and says he only just saw May and Max signing autographs by the fountain, how did they get here so fast?
Rose declares there must be imposters in town, and insists that May and Max be the ones to go run them out. They're hauled up onto the platform and carried off again, leaving behind a confused Ash and Brock.
Meanwhile Team Rocket are still running, Jesse telling Meowth to pick up the pace and James telling him that he runs like a girl. They run into the angry mob carrying May and Max, who leap down and.... May asks what her Dad is doing here?
Oh lordy, Ash is rubbing off on her, and not in the sexy (but illegal!) way.
Max isn't fooled though, and when May takes a closer look at her "Father" she realises that it isn't him, and he laughs of course not, he's Norman, who is she? Max peers at Wobbuffet and asks if it is supposed to be him, while May peers at Meowth and growls she looks nothing like him.
The crowd aren't sure which is which, and then Rose and the apron-wearing muscle man both declare their May and Max's are the real ones, then start arguing, their words indicating they're either husband and wife or business partners. Ash and Brock show up, Ash asking what is going on, and when May tells him that there are two phonies pretending to be them, Meowth angrily insists, "HEY WE ARE YOU.... you're not...."
May has had it and throws a babyish tantrum (she actually looks like a toddler!), telling Torchic to use Ember which burns off Team Rocket's disguises and wigs but leaves their regular clothes, hair and sacks of money untouched. But even clothed, they've still been completely exposed!
"Who the Pokemon are you!?!?" demands the news reporter.
"Prepare for trouble you'll find out soon enough!"
"Make it double, things are gonna get rough."
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off unmasked at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or.... prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"And I'm Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBUFFET!"
Ash says it figures they were the imposters, but they insist they prefer to be called thieves. Jesse sends in Seviper while James gets his throat punctured by a desperately hugging Cacnea. He yells at it to use Pin Missile and it complies, but doesn't give up on showing its love to its Trainer. It dismissively points an arm backwards to fire Pin Missile at Torchic. Ash has Pikachu jump into Torchic's path and Thunderbolt the missiles, and then Seviper fires Haze and grabs Pikachu in the confusion, Team Rocket taking off in their balloon as Jesse laughs that she finally has her Pikachu... only to realise it's Torchic!
Pikachu rushes up the side of the tree trunk (which it couldn't do only one episode ago!) and knocks Torchic and the sacks of money clear. May captures Torchic while Rose and her husband grab the sacks, and then Pikachu blasts the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, sending Team Rocket blasting off and... happy? Yes, it seems pretending to be "winners" was going against their nature, there is no denying that nobody are bigger losers than them, and they blast off laughing,"We're incomparable!"
Ash congratulates Pikachu and the crowd.... cheers! The reporter and Rose both congratulate him and Ash is delighted... until they point out that they weren't talking to him, but Pikachu! Ash collapses in horror as they suggest that Pikachu might even be good enough to challenge Norman, and the crowd chant its name as Ash mutters that hey, at least they like one of them.
As the sun sets, the twerps set off out of North Petalburg, May and Max wondering if Norman realises how big of a hero he is to the people of the town? Ash isn't really worried one way or the other though, let May and Max worry about their Father, he'll be worrying about winning his Fifth Gym Badge!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Hi, my name is May! Where's my little brudda Max, come on down!" "Wobbuffet! Wobbuh! Wobbuh!" "Suddenly I'm not feeling quite as perky." "Everything was going as planned and then "your kids" had to go mess it up!""Meowth, pick up the pace!""She's right, quit running like a girl!"I knew I should have been Max!" "Those two phonies are saying they're us""HEY WE ARE YOU.... you're not...."
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