332: Disaster of Disguise
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335: Kamen no Kndineta - Fwntomu Tojo!
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A mysterious caped person wearing a Dusclops mask and a top hat is fighting against Drew's Roselia with a Dusclops. It pounds the shit out of Roselia and the Masked Man laughs that he expected something better from someone with Drew's reputation, and if this had been a real Contest Battle he'd be out of points by now. He laughs and then he and his Dusclops disappear in a gust of wind.
Woah, he's a....
The twerps arrive in Verdant Turf Town preparing for May's third Pokemon Contest, and upon entering the Pokemon Centre they find Drew handing over Roselia to Nurse Joy. He tells them that he won't be taking part in the contest because Roselia won't be fit to compete, and while Ash takes glee in the fact Drew lost, May is rightfully concerned at the idea of someone being so much better than one of the best Coordinators she has met so far. Drew tells her that if she's smart she won't challenge a Masked Coordinator who goes by the name of the Phantom, and then walks out of the Centre.
The twerps head outside where May expresses concern, but Ash laughs that if the Phantom showed up then and now he'd challenge him. As Ash brags, not so far away Jesse is giving James and Meowth a somewhat insulting "inspirational" speech, claiming that they constantly lose because they're out of shape, so they're going to start exercising.
"Whaaat? You must be joking!" gasps James, who is pretty confident in the firmness of his own ass.
"Especially you, flabby," grunts Jesse, looking at Meowth before telling them that she means to exercise them to help her and Dustox win the Contest. As she orders James and Meowth to try some Jumping Jacks, they ignore her to point out the twerps just across the park from them.
May calls out Skitty to train and it happily chases its tail around in circles, until May gets its attention by telling it they can win the Contest if they try, and asks it to practise Blizzard... and it does, on them!
May gasps that they don't need to work anymore on Blizzard, and then tries to get it to juggle balls with Double Slap; much like Dr Abbey did with Skitty in the last episode. Skitty starts off pretty well by juggling two balls, then three, and then drops them when May tries to throw in two more.
Team Rocket watch from behind a trashcan, Jesse laughing that Skitty's routine is lame, she's sure to win now... and she in turn is watched by a nerdy looking kid behind the hedge, staring right at her ass.
Well.... why not?
May keeps practising and Skitty seems to be getting better, but then a sudden wind kicks up, and May finds herself facing the back of the Masked Coordinator, The Phantom!
He turns and says he wants to battle, but Ash says that if it is a battle he wants, he'll challenge him. The Phantom says he likes the idea of a battle with someone with confidence, and says the battle will be with standard rules, including a five minute time limit. Ash chooses Pikachu and The Phantom sends out Dusclops, and after a quick check with Dextina, Ash sends Pikachu in with Quick Attack... and it does nothing! Max points out that Normal Attacks won't do much against a Ghost Type, and then the Dusclops starts using Shadow Punches to smack Pikachu around as Ash screams out for Pikachu to dodge, dodge, dodge!
Phantom starts to order Dusclops to finish things off, and then an approaching car beeping its horn gets his attention and he recalls Dusclops, turns and runs away shouting out that they'll call it a draw. A fat woman leaps out of the car roaring he won't get away this time! The Phantom rushes through the bushes and cuts his hand, then the fat lady trips up and finds an odd looking pen. She gets up and growls at the twerps that if she finds out they've done something to her Timmy.... and then starts shaking Ash bodily in a fat rage.
Brock tells her they don't know the Phantom and the Lady apologises, dropping Ash and then starting to cry as she explains that her son Timmy has been skipping school lately, so she hired a Private Investigator who discovered that wherever Timmy went, the Phantom showed up not long after... it's obvious to Timmy's Mum (Mrs. Grim) that this Phantom has lured Timmy into some kind of activity!
Buttsex?
She begs Ash to find out the identity of the Phantom and says she'll pay them handsomely. As she tells them this, Team Rocket watch through binoculars, focusing on the expensive looking rings on her fingers. They figure if they can unmask the Phantom they'll get paid, and Jesse immediately proclaims that a gorgeous woman like her deserves to be bedecked in gorgeous gems like those... and surely her "Loyal followers" would agree.
Mrs. Grim takes the twerps to her massive mansion, calling it her "humble home" and they enter in, Momma calling out for Timmy as he sits upstairs putting a bandage on his hand and saying to himself he needs to take notes about that Pikachu he was fighting today. He can't find his pen though, and then his Mother and the twerps show up and she shows him the pen, and demands to know why she found it where she chased down the Phantom today.... did he steal it from him!?!?! What's going on here!?!? She towers over him menacing him with implied violence and then spots his bandaid and demands to know what is going on, and he turns and flees to his bedroom.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH OF THESE IS THE BEST CHOICE TO BATTLE CRAWDAUNT? VOLBET, CHINCHOU OR HOUNDOUR? THE ANSWER IS CHINCHOU BECAUSE IT TOO IS A HORRIBLE SOULLESS MONSTER OF THE DEEP!
Mrs. Grim (hey, Timmy's name is Tim Grim!) settles down on an oversized couch and moans that Timmy has the same cut on his hand as the Phantom did.... could they be the same person? But the twerps point out that just because they're always seen in the same place, both had the same cut on their hands and the Phantom had a pen that belongs to Timmy doesn't mean anything.
Shit like this is how Superman got away with being Clark Kent for so long.
They ask if Timmy is any good with Pokemon as The Phantom appeared to be pretty handy as a Pokemon Coordinator, but Mrs. Grimm grabs Ash by the shoulders and shakes him angrily saying that Timmy is going to be a brilliant executive and take over her company, he doesn't have time for this Pokemon nonsense!
She then points an angry finger at Brock when he tries to speak up for Pokemon Trainers/Coordinators, then says she's off to do some work and when next they meet they better have some information. The twerps mutter that Timmy doesn't seem happy, and the downcast looking man in the sweater-vest and tie sitting next to Ash agrees, and Ash.... freaks the fuck out, who is hell is this guy!?!?!
He tells them he is Timmy's Father, Tommy Grim. He's Mrs. Grimm's husband, and no wonder he is sad, I mean, imagine Mrs. Grim coming at you wearing nothing but a negligee and a determined look on her face.
He tells them that he can explain the Phantom and shows them the costume locked away in a cupboard, but it is too old to be the same costume as the Phantom they saw earlier. He explains that when he was young, him and a MUCH skinnier Mrs. Grim met and fell in love, but she hated Pokemon and refused to let him have them in the house. So because he loved Pokemon so much he would dress up as The Phantom and sneak out at night (possibly after drugging his wife) to take part in Contests and Battles. When Timmy was born he gave it all up and retired The Phantom, but it seems that Timmy takes after him and loves Pokemon too, and after finding a scared Duskull he brought it home to the mansion only for his Mother to tell him to get rid of it. Seeing how badly it effected his son, Mr. Grimm made a new Phantom Costume and gave it to Timmy so he could have THE STRENGTH OF TEN TIGERS!
Oops, wrong Phantom.
Mr. Grim explains that Timmy can never take part in a Pokemon Journey because of his Mother, but with a Pokemon contest in town he felt he had the perfect opportunity to finally take part in a Contest. But how can he now with his Mother snooping around? Well, the twerps have a plan!
Meanwhile Mrs. Grim is driven through the town and watches introspectively as a Mother on the street hands her daughter a Poochyena Puppy. As she arrives at home she finds May and Skitty practising when suddenly The Phantom appears on a balcony.... with a surprisingly taller body and darker skin!
Ash runs out with some horrific acting followed by Mr. Grim and Timmy, and Mrs. Grim says she thought Timmy was The Phantom, but now that he has shown up taller than before and the twerps are here with her son minus only their taller companion Brock, she can see she was wrong.
And then things go horribly wrong.
As Brock yells out about challenges, a fishhook is lowered down and snags at his mask, trying to pull it off of the startled "Phantom".
"What's going on, let go off my mask!" he yells.
"Prepare for trouble, the Phantom's exposed!"
"Make it double as our bank account grows!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!" cries Wobbuffet as Jesse and James dress up in Tuxedo Mask costumes, Meowth slaps on a pair of opera glasses, and Wobbuffet explodes through the moon.... just because!
May can't believe it, just as their little scheme was working so well... and Mrs. Grim asks what scheme as May grabs at her mouth. Jesse sends out Seviper and James... gets hugged by Cacnea. Seviper uses Wrap to grab up Brock and then James pulls on his fishing rod to pull at the Phantom mask as Brock tries to desperately hold on using his nose muscles or something. Ash calls for a Thunderbolt and then realises that it might hurt Brock, and Cacnea leaps down to help Seviper only to get hit with Skitty's Blizzard. Seviper is blasted off along with Cacnea and Brock as well, the latter crashing to the ground with his mask exposed right in front of Mrs. Grim. As Seviper and Cacnea fall back towards the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, Pikachu hits it with Thunderbolt and sends them all blasting off again.
Brock leaps up moaning he's been amazing enough for one day and then runs/limps off cackling as the twerps try one more time to use bad acting to convince Mrs. Grim itās not Timmy... and she agrees, saying that she has to get back to work and heading inside. Mr. Grim is shocked, did their crazy, poorly acted and shittily conceived scheme actually work!?!
But regardless, it seems to have worked and now Timmy can enter the Pokemon Contest.... which also means that now while May won't be fighting Drew, she WILL be competing against someone so good that they actually whipped the living shit out of the green haired Coordinator.
Oh dear.... maybe they should have re-thought this little scheme of theirs.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Check out da hardware on Ma, some major bling bling going on!" "Come on James, pull it off!"
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