329: All Torkoal, No Play
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332: Hagane no tani o toppase yo! Kotasu Vs. Haganeru!
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Your promises don't keep your Pidgeot warm at night, Ash, and your Primeape cries itself to sleep every night.
But as they walk out of the forest, they find not Mauville but a desolate wasteland... it seems that Brock has taken down one shortcut too many. May drops to her knees (hey hey!) and moans that men can never ask for directions, and then they hear the call of the metal abomination that is Skarmory. Looking up, they see two Magnemite lifting a Torkoal into the air, paralyzing it in place with electricity. Torkoal blasts desperately about itself with Flamethrower and Skarmory blasts it with Swift as Ash cries out that he and Pikachu will help it.
Welp, looks like this episode won't be a return to Mauville at all, but rather....
The Magnemite drop the Torkoal through the sky and blast at Ash and Pikachu as they run to help the Turtle Pokemon, which has landed on its back and is wiggling its legs around desperately. Skarmory lets loose a horrific roar and it and the Magnemite turn and leave, and the twerps rush up and roll Torkoal back over... and it let loose a stream of tears from its eyes and smoke from its nose... and all over the twerps.
A roar catches Torkoal's attention and it turns and runs off with surprising speed, and the twerps are completely perplexed, what the hell is going on?
Meanwhile, Team Rocket fly through the air in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon looking for the twerps (Meowth suggesting sarcastically they might have disguised themselves as rocks) and then they see a Skarmory approaching, roaring angrily. Meowth translates, saying that it is warning them to clear out of there, and then it tears through their balloon.
"We're blasting off all ready!" they cry, as they do just that.
The twerps all stagger on through the rock valley, Brock insisting this time he knows they are going in the right direction. They spot the Magnemite approaching again and hide behind rocks before Ash decides it is time to fight back and blasts Thunderbolt at them. Max tells May to get Torchic out, Brock explaining that a Fire Type will be super-effective against them. It blasts the Magnemite with Ember and sends them running, May congratulating it as Brock ponders the mystery of their aggression, and then an explosion catches their attention.
Jihad?
Not quite, they rush to the explosion site and find Torkoal blasting Flamethrowers at Skarmory and Magnemite but taking an asskicking. Ash and Pikachu rush down to help and May shouts out that she and Torchic can help too, and then Skitty pops out as well. She says she didn't call it but Max and Brock point out that it can use Assist to do a Double-Ember with Torchic, so she orders it and... it doesn't quite pull it off.
But luckily the Stringshot it learned from Beautifly brings down the Magnemite, and May congratulates it, telling Max it doesn't matter if this isn't what she wanted to do, it worked. Torchic blasts them with Ember and the Magnemite leg it out of there, but then Skarmory blasts at May with Swift. She gathers up her Skitty and Torchic and tries to get out of the way as Pikachu blasts at Skarmory with Thunderbolt to try and clear it off. Skarmory looks hurt but then comes back for more, and May calls for Torchic and Skitty to help... and then Torkoal leaps into the way and blasts Skarmory with a massive blast of Flamethrower and sends it flapping angrily away. Ash congratulates Torkoal on the massive power of its Flamethrower, but then it collapses in exhaustion.
The twerps settle it down on a blanket while Brock tries to fix it up, and Max asks how it could have been taking a trashing when it is a Fire Type against a Steel and Electric Types. But Ash points out that a 4 on 1 beating isn't exactly a fair fight, then grins at Torkoal and tells it that it can probably take on anyone in a 1 on 1 situation. It cries with delight at this compliment and blasts smoke from its nose into Ash's face again. Max and May figure the Magnemite won't bother them anymore but Brock isn't so sure, telling them that he thinks he has figured out where they are now... The Valley of Steel.
BOOM BOOOM BOOOOOOOOOM!
Max has heard of it, apparently Nurse Joy warned them to stay away from this area before they left the Pokemon Centre... and apparently Ash completely forgot all about that. Brock says it is home to some extremely strong Steel Types that are VERY territorial and the Torkoal probably wandered in lost just like they did. Max thinks they should turn back but Ash just considers it to be a challenge, why not push on, surely they can beat their way through, and May is all for it too, saying that with Torchic and Skitty to help, they should be fine.
Suddenly the roar they heard earlier sounds again, and again Torkoal hears it, turns and zooms off at a huge speed. Brock tells them that he noticed while treating Torkoal that it looks like something else might have hurt it, and he thinks there might be something MUCH stronger somewhere else in the Valley.
Oooh, spooky!
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are..... in deep shit!
Yes a Magnetron is blasting at them as they charge along screaming in terror, Wobbuffet popping out to agree as they're.... blasted off again!
But not very far! They crash to the ground and Jesse demands to know what is going on, and.....
Oh sweet Jesus Christ.
They stare in horror at the monstrosity and then Jesse loses it, screaming,"Hey! I don't care how big and scary you might look! Stop attacking or you'll get the wrath of Jesse!"
"ROOOOOOARRR!" ROOOOOOARRR's the Steelix.
"Say Jess," gasps James,"Maybe we should be nicer to the enormous Pokemon?"
Meowth suggests they act friendly to it and they drop onto their knees...
Well that's always a friendly way to start a relationship!
.... and then rush around waxing it over until it is shiny and begins to glow white, James giggling that all the other Steelix will be so jealous... and then they realise it is glowing white because of an Iron Tail!
"STRIKE THREE! WE'RE OUT!" they cry as they once again blast off.
Meanwhile, Torkoal is blasting Flamethrower at Magnemites, with Torchic following up with Ember. The Magnemite run and Ash tells Pikachu to lead the way... and it almost runs them over into a deep ravine leading down to a river.
"AAAAAAAAAH! THIS IS GONNA HURT!" scream voices from high in the air.
"Can you guys tell what that is?" asks May.
"We're about to get a closer look," notes Brock.
"HEEEEEELP US!" scream Team Rocket as they plummet towards the twerps.
"Team Rocket?" asks Ash.
"YES IT'S US!" screams Jesse and James.
"OUT OF THE WAY!" roars Meowth, and then they smash into the ground.... hard!
They hit so hard that they actually.... bounce! They pitch into the ravine, screaming, "We're blasting off again."
And like that.... they're gone.
Ash says he's glad it was Team Rocket and not them, which is kind of just callous and really fucking cold if you think about it, and then karma fucks him RIGHT up the ass by cracking the ground beneath May and Torchic's feet and sending them plummeting after Team Rocket!
HEY TRAINERS? WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON EVOLVES INTO CAMERUPT? TORKOAL, SLUGMA OR NUMEL? THE ANSWER IS.... HOLY SHIT ITāS GOT VOLCANOES COMING OUT OF ITS BACK!
May grabs a tree branch with one arm and Torchic with another, showing remarkable arm strength as Ash calls down to her not to go anywhere and then Magneton zooms in and starts blasting at them. Torchic tries to use Ember but it dodges and then zaps May, so Torkoal blasts it away as May cries out that she is losing her grip. Ash wraps a rope around Torkoal and starts lowering down to get May, but the Magneton return. Pikachu zaps at them to scare them off, then Ash grabs May's arm and Brock, Max and Pikachu start pulling them up, Torkoal blasting the Magneton away. Ash and May reach the top and Torkoal blasts the Magneton away completely as Brock and Max suggest that May put Torchic back in its Pokeball.
One can't help but think that this might have been better advice when she was using one arm to try and hold it in place.
Magneton crashes down behind the Steelix which turns and glares at its fallen comrade, then roars in fury and digs down into the ground.
The twerps reach the river and Brock says that just past the trees on the other side is the road to Mauville City. They're all pleased to have gotten through without spotting anything stronger than Skarmory and then..... well then it's time for them to meet the Big Daddy of Steel Valley.
Torkoal blasts at it with Flamethrower but Steelix uses Sandstorm to protect itself, while May gasps at how big it is.
WE KNEW IT! SIZES DOES MATTER!
They figure that Torkoal has been charging towards the noise of the Steelix because it wanted a chance for revenge on it. The Magnemites, Magneton and Skarmory fly in around Steelix to watch it pimp-slap down Torkoal, but Ash is determined to help "his" Torkoal get revenge. It blasts Flamethrower at Steelix, but gets smashed back by the Steel Pokemon's far more powerful counter. It then crashes down with Iron Tail right by where Torkoal was standing only moments before, and then smashes directly through a Flamethrower. Steelix's boys zoom in to fight... and then pull up short as Big Daddy Steelix warns them off.
It wants to deal to this fool fronting on its block itself!
But Ash is proud, despite Steelix being apparently highly resistant to what is supposed to be its natural weakness - Fire - Torkoal STILL wants to fight, and that kind of brainless stubborn aggression is just the kind of thing Ash loves!
Torkoal dodges Bites and Iron Tails and blasts Steelix with Flamethrower, and again it slams through and then digs into the ground, almost burying Torkoal in the process. Ash figures Flamethrower isn't helping and tries to remember as far back as two days ago when he fought Flannery and her Torkoal... and he remembers Overheat! He orders the attack and Brock warns him that Overheat loses power each time it is used, he MUST make his first shot count.
Torkoal waits patiently and then Steelix emerges through the dirt with a roar, and Torkoal..... BLASTS THE FUCK OUT OF BIG DADDY STEELIX!
May gasps out in admiration at finally seeing what Overheat is despite having seen one not so long ago (Ash is rubbing off on her, and not in the creepy Brock way), but then Big Daddy Steelix blasts through the attack with Iron Tail!
The twerps are horrified and Torkoal can't believe it... and then Big Daddy Steelix goes down!
BIG DADDY'S DOWN! THERE'S A NEW PIMP IN TOWN!
It staggers back up, not ready to relinquish its hold on the valley just yet, and stares furiously at the stubborn Torkoal that refuses to back down.... and then turns and moves away with its Steel Posse in tow.... Torkoal has gained their respect.
After congratulating Torkoal on its strength and getting a face full of soot for their worries, the twerps cross the bridge and Ash asks if it wants to be a part of their group, because they did work pretty well together. It leaps on top of him with tears running out of its eyes, and Ash giggles that he just "caught" a Torkoal, while Brock looks over the giant turtle that has slammed a little boy onto his back and is crying in joy at the prospect... and declares that Torkoal is going to fit right in.
| BEST QUOTES |
   "We're blasting off all ready!""Say Jess, maybe we should be nicer to the enormous Pokemon?" |
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