326: Poetry Commotion
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329: Shinjin Jimu Rida - Asuna! Ana Darake no Batoru Firudo!?
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Next thing we see is May's boobs, then her face as she shoves something into her mouth and coos happily. Ash asks what she's shoving in her mouth and she puts some into Pikachu's mouth.... they're Hot Springs Hot Cross Buns!
They spot some people beneath the bridge getting buried in sand, another part of the famous Hot Spring experience at Lava Ridge Town. Everyone is eager to take part as well, but Ash shouts angrily that his Gym Battle comes first, and May is horrified to find that Max and Brock agree that this has to come first.
Team Rocket have also made it to Lava Ridge Town, exhausted from the arduous task of following in the footsteps of the twerps AND constantly being blasted off again as well.
"Why'd they have to be on a journey?" demands James.
"Haven't they ever heard of a daytrip?" sighs Jesse.
But then James perks up as he remembers this town is famous for Hot Springs, and next thing you know Meowth and James are sitting embarrassed in a hot spring fed by a Psyduck sculpture while a towel-clad (and ONLY towel clad) Jesse relaxes near them. She pops up, turns around and heads off for the scented pools, leaving little to the imagination of her teammates.
What a waste, one of them is the last person on earth who would ever even consider sex with Jesse, and the other's Meowth!
Ash shows up at the Pokemon Gym but no one answers his call for a Battle, and then a woman runs back and forth in front of them screaming hot hot hot while her ass apparently burns. Brock calls out Mudkip which blasts her with water, and she signs in relief and then pulls off her green robe to reveal a rather modern looking young punk female!
Brock explodes with lust, tells her the burning fire is in his heart, and then drops his eyes to her breasts before being tugged away by Max. The girl tells them that her Slugma set her clothes on fire when their flamethrower got out of control, and when she finds out Ash is here for a Pokemon Battle, she gets extremely excited. She proclaims that she is the Gym Leader, her name is Flannery and she's more than ready to rumble. As she talks, Max stands holding Brock's ridiculously stretched out ear and May... well sorry to beat a dead horse, Gentle Dodgers, but why the hell does May suddenly have such a huge set of tits?
I mean seriously, they're sticking out further than her face.
Brock is confused, wasn't the Gym Leader in lava Ridge Town supposed to be an older man called Mister Moore? But rather than answer she calls out a Torkoal and tosses it a piece of coal as a treat. It chows it down and blasts smoke out of its nostrils and back, causing Ash to check it out with Dextina. Flannery tells it to make her Grandfather proud and Ash tells Pikachu to get in there, but Max leaps in between them and tells her that she needs to do this officially. They head inside... and discover that the battleground is completely torn up!
Apparently her last opponent liked to use Dig a lot... and she forgot to clean up. She takes them in to grab a drink before cleaning up, and Max has had enough, he has to ask.... is she really the Lava Ridge Gym Leader? She is indeed, she proudly proclaims, Gym Leader for three whole days!
Ash is shocked, and she explains her Grandpa was the Gym Leader before then. He was known as Old Man Moore and he had a Typhlosion that seemed to make him unbeatable... until he suddenly got into Pokemon Poetry, started to hang out with a bunch of older people who liked poetry, and when a friend wrote a bestseller on poetry based on his journeys, Old man Moore decided to head out to Johto for a year and follow suit, leaving Flannery as default Gym Leader.
Well new or old, a Gym Battle is a Gym Battle, so Ash suggests they help clean up the Gym. She agrees and Max lectures from memory that fact that Gym Leaders must do more than just battle with Pokemon, and Flannery discovers they're the children of Norman, Leader of the Petalburg Gym. Because she seems to find that impressive, Brock leaps in and declares to her breasts that he is a Gym Leader at the Pewter City Gym AND the son of a Gym Leader too, so that makes them the perfect fit.... and Max drags him away screaming.
They head out to the Battlefield and get ready to clean up, while up in a mountainside we see Mr Moore staring down over the town. Some elderly folk walk by discussing him, saying that by now he must have passed Fall Arbour Town, and he hides behind a tree and mutters to himself that he can hardly go back now, especially after that send off that they gave him.
In the Gym the Pokemon help the twerps clean up, and Flannery apologises again and says she was intending to clean up. While they do this, they're watched from afar by Team R.... by some hippy? Well you can't see his face but one could assume it's Old Man Moore in a disguise, watching in shock and crying in embarrassment that Flannery forgot to clean up and now she's having prospective opponents help her out! But as he weeps in dishonour, on the other side of the rock he stands by, also watching the twerps through binoculars is... yep, Team Rocket!
Jesse says that after her little soak she's seeing the world in a whole new light, while Meowth and James point out that Flannery has a Torkoal... they should grab it and give it to the Boss!
"Details, details!" demands James, anticipating another patented crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
"Kay, dere's gonna be a time when da Boss needs a fire!" proclaims Meowth enthusiastically as we see a shot of a cartoonish Giovanni struggling to set a fire for a barbeque.
"Maybe he's barbequing down by da river or... if dere's ever a power outage dat Torkoal could lighten things up. Ya know what he'll say? 'Dat was awfully kind and generous of Meowth and his friends to give me dis Torkoal and I'm impressed!' "
"HA! Say it wif me, big promotions, corner office, lots of money!" cries Meowth in delight, but for once James isn't carried away by this lunacy, and points out that a lighter would be just as effective.
"YESSH! A STUPID 99 CENT LIGHTER CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO TORKOALS FIREPOWER YOU DIMWITTED DUMB-BELL DOPE!" hisses Meowth in a fury, and then Jesse notices the hippy on the other side of the rocks from them.
"What kind of creep would hide up here and spy through binoculars?" demands James, and Meowth and Jesse suggest it could be a member of Team Magma or Aqua.
Nah, he actually looks interesting.
HEY TRAINERS, WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON IS THE BEST CHOICE TO BATTLE TYROGUE? DUSTOX, TOGETIC OR SUICUNE? THE ANSWER IS.... NONE WILL SURVIVE THE EPIC BATTLE OF GOOD VERSUS EVIL AS SUICUNE PITS ITS MIGHT AGAINST THE FURY OF TOGETIC. COME NOW THE END DAYS AND THE WORLD OF MAN SHALL TURN TO ASH.... AND LO, A DULLARD SHALL LEAD THEM. YAY, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH I TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE AND REALI.....
Max and May drink as the Pokemon chow down on some food and Max asks Flannery if she'll have a Heat Badge prepared for Ash, and she replies with a grin that she doesn't intend to lose. But Brock says she should be prepared, and when they look around in the office for the badges... she can't find them!
Old Man Moore, who is now watching from a tree branch closer to the Gym, is horrified. He did move them around a lot, but she should know where they are. As the twerps and Flannery look about, Old Man Moore disguises himself as Young Man Moore complete with Hawaiian shirt and yellow wig, and pops inside the Gym and asks if he can use the bathroom, telling her he'll need some tissues too. He then steps into the bathroom and shouts, "OH LOOK THERE'S A SAFE!" then opens it and yells, "OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, SOME LAVA RIDGE GYM BADGES!" before zooming off at a fast walk down the hall towards the exit. Flannery points out that he did say he needed the bathroom, and he shouts he just remembered there is one in his hotel room and cheeses it.
The twerps go back to clearing up, and Max asks if she has a Judge for the battle... and she doesn't! It seems one of Old Man Moore's students usually does that, but he's on holiday and that leaves her without a Judge....
What about the last Gym Battle where the opponent used Dig?
Just then Old Man Moore appears at the door, this time in shorts and a polo shirt, shaggy brown wig and moustache and round lenses glasses, declaring he is a member of The Committee for Popularising Pokemon Gym Judges... he's a judge! He explains to the sceptical twerps that Old Man Moore requested he come and Flannery is delighted, saying that her Grandpa is such a sweety. But Max says he should have had Flannery more prepared, and Old Man Moore coughs to hold back a retort and then offers to help clean up.
As they get back to work, Max continues to badmouth Old Man Moore for not preparing Flannery properly, and he continues to cough back retorts. As Flannery discusses how he can be pretty stubborn when he gets an idea in his head, Jesse and James burst through into the Battlefield dressed up in workmen outfits complete with wheelbarrow, declaring they're Gym Maintenance professionals!
"We're Gym Maintenance Professionals!" cries James.
"Gym Maintenance?" asks Max.
"Professionals!" agrees James.
Jesse explains that nowadays there is just so much damage that can be done by various Pokemon attacks, and that is where they come in. Flannery asks them to help and they pose bravely and then whisper to each other that they recognise the old coot, they'll keep an eye on him, while he himself remembers seeing them and wonders why they're disguised.
They all set too cleaning up, while James moves his wheelbarrow closer to Torkoal and then gives the word to Meowth. Meowth leaps out of the sack in the wheelbarrow, gets behind Torkoal and.... OH MY!
Guess James didn't put out in those Hot Springs.
Jesse growls they're taking too long and grabs both Meowth and Torkoal up and shoves them into the sack, and Old Man Moore roars out, "FLANNERY! I MEAN YOUNG GIRL!" then warns they're stealing Torkoal. Flannery angrily demands to know who they are, and they're more than happy to tell her.
"Prepare for trouble... hoodlums, eh?"
"Make it double... what the hey!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
Jesse calls out Seviper which blasts the Battlefield with Haze before they cheese it out of there, leap into their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and take off. Flannery, Old Man Moore and the twerps give chase, and Ash starts to call out Taillow, only for the "Judge" to call out a Wingull just like Old Man Moore's. It sends Team Rocket crashing into the ground, leaving Jesse and James both in positions they must be very familiar with.
The twerps confront them and Ash again prepares to call out a Pokemon, Corphish this time, but the "Judge" once again beats him to the punch and calls out.... Typhlosion!
Jesse calls out Seviper and James calls out Cacnea (which promptly hugs him). Seviper tries Poison Tail and smacks Typhlosion right in the shoulder, but it comes back with a brutal Tackle. Cacnea tries Pin Missile but Flannery calls out a Slugma and uses Ember to burn through the missiles, and then Typhlosion leaps high and then shoots down through the air with Flame Wheel, smashing directly into Cacnea for a brutal hit.
Seviper tries Wrap but Typhlosion blasts it away with Flamethrower, and as Cacnea is sent in and blasted back just as promptly, May and Max sneak around behind Team Rocket. They open the sack and get Torkoal out, then start to lift it when Meowth leaps at them with Fury Swipes... and gets blown away by Slugma's Flamethrower.
Seviper and Cacnea try to double up on Typhlosion with Needle arm and Bite, but they're hit by Slugma's Flamethrower and then... it evolves into Magcargo!
It has balls hanging on either side of its mouth.
The Judge leaps up and shakes Flannery's hand in delight and she replies,"Thank you Grandpa!" and then stops.... Grandpa!?!?
His disguise falls apart and he laughs nervously as Brock grabs his arms and says he wants to be able to call him Grandpa too, only to be dragged away as Team Rocket moan that he was in disguise spying on his own house? Oooookay.
Seviper and Cacnea try another shot but are blasted away again, this time directly into Team Rocket who are smashed into their balloon, and Pikachu sends them blasting off again, Jesse moaning that all she wanted was a little bit of rest.
Flannery asks Old Man Moore why he came back and he admits he was worried, and Max points out snottily that if he'd left better prepared he wouldn't have to have worried, causing Old Man Moore to cough nervously.
They finish clearing up the Gym and finally Ash is ready to fight... but the day is almost done and Old Man Moore says they must be exhausted, he should go enjoy a nice warm sand bath.
Ash stares at this old man who has just suggested what the rest of the twerps suggested to Ash at the beginning of the episode and he turned down, and his reaction is... yeah okay that sounds like a cool idea!
Oh Ash.
"Nothing like a warm sand bath to heat up our.... romance!" Brock suggests sleazily to Flannery, only to be dragged away by Max.
Old Man Moore takes them out and puts them all under sand as the sun sets, and tries out a few poems on his now captive audience. We didn't get our Gym Battle today, Gentle Dodgers, but we will next episode! But will it be against Flannery or Old Man Moore? On the one hand, Old Man Moore has years of experience and a tried and trusted Pokemon in Typhlosion.
On the other hand, Flannery has a really great rack.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Why'd they have to be on a journey?" "Haven't they ever heard of a daytrip?" "YOU DIMWITTED DUMB-BELL DOPE!"What kind of creep would hide up here and spy through binoculars?""We're Gym Maintenance Professionals!" "Gym Maintenance?""Professionals!" "Nothing like a warm sand bath to heat up our.... romance!"
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