320: Maxxed Out
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323: Masato to Masato! Ametama o mamore!
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"RAIN! SNOW! SLEET! ICE! No matter what adversity mother nature has thrown my way I've continued my quest to be with you, traveling vast distances to witness your beauty!"
"Wow, all that beauty and so full of baloney!" notes Max.
Skitty leaps out of its Pokeball and starts chasing its own tail, spinning about in circles as everyone looks over it and giggles at how cute it is..... and they're all watched from outside by....
Holy shit it's evil Max! One was enough, now we're....
Skitty spins in circles directly up into Brock's face, then May tries to attract it with a reed but rubs it in her own face and sneezes, and Max grabs it and gets Skitty's attention. May thanks him for helping out, and then evil Max makes his presence felt, demanding they cut down the noise. Max apologises to his evil doppelganger, who appears to be about half a foot taller, and Nurse Joy tells Max to be quiet, and it turns out they're both called Max!
They get ready to rumble after the older Max tells Max to change his name, and after Nurse Joy breaks them up Evil Max stalks off angrily and Joy explains that the Evil Max likes Pokemon too and often comes here to play with them. Brock offers to play peacemaker, but younger Max could care less if some ugly speccy jerk has a thing for Pokemon, at least he doesn't have to worry about being in that kind of situation!
Meanwhile, an alarm clock rings and wakes James up in his sleeping bag on the hard ground deep in the forest. He sits up and says morning, revealing that he apparently sleeps in his Team Rocket uniform, then gapes as he looks at his alarm clock and realises that it is noon.... how did that happen!?!?
He mumbles that he didn't set the alarm to the right time again, but Jesse points out they're camping in the middle of the forest so why do they need to bother with getting up early? James explains that it is all part of the routine, you gotta have a routine if you wanna be motivated and ready to go. He carries a bowl of water and splashes it in his face, Meowth licks himself to clean up (oh like you wouldn't) and Jesse asks James what his plan is.... and he burns out and moans that he's had enough!
"Day to day, week to week, we trudge through our weary lives with nary a scrap of food... well I'm mad, I'm not going to take it anymore! So it's catch Pikachu or bust! Shake off the dust of defeat and get a real life.... oh? Guys?
"Yeah whatever, we're going to get some lunch," grunts Jesse, heading off with Meowth who yells back at James to fold their sleeping bags while they're gone, now there's a routine for him!
May stands on a rock in the lake, stretches and sticks out her chest, and says she feels great, which pisses off Max. He says that Evil Max has some real nerve having the same name as him, but then they're distracted by a Surskit, a monster of a Pokemon, a bizarre tentacled water-spider that skates along the water and meets up with Evil Max, who waves hello to it. May suggests she and Max go and meet him, and though Max doesn't want to, May says if they head over they can see some more of Surskit.
Max and Evil Max growl at each other but May tries to play peacemaker, and when Max tries to pet Surskit, evil Max slaps his hand away. Ash and Brock show up to ask what is going on, watched from a distance by Team Rocket, James' having joined them.
"Well, there are our favourite twerps," says Jesse.
"And they've grown an extra one!" gasps James.
They spot Surskit and Meowth instantly comes up with another Patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
"Imagine da Boss waking one morning stressed out like usual," suggests Meowth.
"Imagined," note Jesse and James obediently.
"I been working so hard lately and I'm so stressed out dat I can't sleep at night," grunts Giovanni in a very Meowth-like voice as he sits in his dressing gown sipping tea.
"Awww," sigh Jesse and James, and tell Meowth to proceed.
"He goes tah his balcony looking for a cherry morning sun to lift his spirit, but dere ain't no sun because its cloudy out. And dat's when he remembers his Surskit down by the garden lake!"
It waves at him happily.
"And once dat Pokemon cutey has lifted his spirit to da moon and back, ya know what he'll say?"
Since Meowth and Friends gave me dis Surskit dey're my favour-rite Team Rocket members," finishes Meowth, then cackles madly as Jesse and James are once again wrapped up in his insanity.
Meanwhile Max and Evil Max are still yelling, but Brock suggests they all shut up, and then tries t cheer him up by calling out all of their Pokemon... which is really more a cruel mockery, since it all it can serve to do is remind the two Max's that they're both Pokemon-less losers.
Max tells Evil Max that he hopes to one day become a Pokemon Gym Leader, and Evil Max says there is nothing he likes more than playing with Pokemon. May introduces Torchic and Beautifly to Skitty which starts chasing its tail and then promptly falls asleep on the rock because kitty kitty.
"There's never a dull moment when we've got May's Skitty around!" Brock laughs.
Well geez Brock, at least try to be subtle about it!
Team Rocket watch from the bushes, Jesse and Meowth both horrified and upset that May was the one to get the Skitty over them, but James could care less, they're here to get the Surskit! Their plan isn't entirely subtle either, they leap out of the bushes holding a football, and say they're not here for Pikachu this time, but Surskit.
"Prepare for trouble we don't care for jokes!"
"Make it double we're serious folks!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket breaks the line at the speed of light" cries Jesse, passing an attempted tackle by Brock.
"We'll mow you down so surrender or fight!" laughs James, sliding by May and spinning her about.
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!"
Treecko tries a Quick Attack but gets a football passed to it by Jesse, and a Thunderbolt from Pikachu is deflected by Meowth's parasol (he has a parasol okay wanna fight about it?) and then Skitty wakes up, spots Jesse's long hair and is instantly delighted.
James and Meowth yell at her to keep her cool, but instead she swings Skitty into their faces, knocks Skitty off and then runs off clutching her hair and weeping, "A WOMAN'S HAIR IS HER LIFE!"
The twerps are pleased to see them gone, but then they realise that Surskit has disappeared, and spot watery tracks on the shore indicating that Surskit got scared and legged it. Evil Max heads off after it and Max realises that even an Evil Doppelganger can have feelings, and they chase after him and tell him they want to help.... and then Team Rocket returns!
But where is Jesse?
James demands Surskit but they shout back at him they he scared it off, and he and Meowth turn and growl at an unseen Jesse that she scared it off with her Skitty antics and then she.... well let's just say no one is pleased to see her.
The twerps stare in horror as well at the result of Skitty playing with Jesse's hair, and aren't exactly subtle in showing it.
"Her hair looks like a.... starts Max in horror.
"....like a dustmop," finishes May and then.... everyone starts laughing at her!
Jesse is enraged and activated the giant hammer on top of their big machine, swinging it roughly around at them. The twerps run in terror from this pulverising death-machine, while Jesse screams at them, asking if they find it funny now while James and Meowth desperately try to calm her down only for her to smack them aside and then smash Ash and Brock in one direction, and May, Max and Evil Max in the other.
HEY TRAINERS WHICH OF THESE POKEMON EVOLVE INTO LOMBRE? LOTAD, ELECTRIKE OR ODDISH? IF YOU GOT THIS WRONG THEN GOD HATES YOU AND SO DOES THE PRESIDENT!
May and Max come to in the branches of a tree, and down on the ground Evil Max says he recognises the area. Max says he needs to find his Surskit and Evil Max says this wouldn't have happened if he and Surskit had been traveling together.
Meanwhile, Ash staggers up a cliff mumbling that he'll never understand Team Rocket as long as he lives, then sends Taillow up into the air and suggests he, Brock and Pikachu follow it to find the others.
While the twerps seek to reunite, Jesse continues to drive through the forest smashing the hammer about, growling for the twerps to come out while James and Meowth huddle in the corner in superstitious caveman fear of their Bitch Goddess Queen. Meowth moans in horror that James was right earlier, they have to get themselves a real life while they still have a life left.
Max meanwhile is telling Evil Max that he thought he was a Pokemon Trainer and was jealous of him, and that is why he was being such a jerk. Evil Max explains that he thought Max was Skitty's trainer, and this is why he was acting mean, because he thought he had what Evil Max doesn't. Max felt the same way, since Evil Max had his own Surskit, and then they spot the approaching hammer machine of Team Rocket and they rush off to find Surskit. They encounter a river as they run, and then Team Rocket bursts through the foliage after them and Max shrieks out to his evil doppelganger if he knows any other wet areas.
Well.... at his age he shouldn't even know those areas CAN be wet! Geez!
Legging it again, they find a spring with two different water levels, and inside the lower is Surskit. Evil Max jumps into the water and grabs it as Team Rocket burst through the bushes in their machine, Jesse still in control and obsessed with revenge and death.... The BITCH GODDESS QUEEN DEMANDS A BLOOD SACRIFICE!
Jesse sends out Seviper and James sends in Cacnea.... which turns around and comes back at him with a happy hug. May prepares to fight back but Max and Evil Max leap in and say they'll do the fighting.
What... two small boys against trained fighting machines?
They dodge a Poison Tail and order Agility from Surskit to Dodge Cacnea's Pin Missile, but then Seviper smashes it with Poison Tail and Jesse grins, saying all this time and energy spent and this is all Surskit can do?
"But we wuz just stealing it because it was cute..." starts Meowth, and Jesse screams at him that she knows that, showing him the price of questioning her will.
James orders Needle Arm from Cacnea... and then gasps as he sees it struggling in the water and recalls it to its Pokeball, moaning in embarrassing. Seviper starts bringing down a REALLY slow motion Poison Tail, so slow in fact that Max and Evil Max have time to see it, panic, say they need to do something, suggest breaking the rock wall blocking up the higher level of Spring water, question how to do that, realise that Surskit can use Water Pulse and order it to do so and have Surskit move aside to do just that..... just as Poison Tail finally hits into the water where it was moments earlier.
Wow.
Surskit blasts the rock with Water Pulse which rolls in over Seviper and Team Rocket like a tidal wave, sending Team Rocket washing away aga.....
The Bitch Goddess Queen does not fall so easily.
"Now I'm scared!" gasps May.
"ME TOO!" cries James.
"Look away, maybe she won't notice us?!" sobs Meowth.
"I must catch the Surskit, I must catch the Surskit," growls the now insane monster-Jesse,"Give me the Surskit... RIGHT NOW!"
She grabs Surskit in Evil Max's hands and begins tugging, and as Evil Max tries to hold on, Max runs in to help and May takes the chance to grab a handful of Jesse's boobs.
Oh like you wouldn't.
Having gotten a good grope, May calls out Skitty which slaps Jesse about the face a few times and then knocks her back into the water much to the rest of Team Rocket's horror. Ash and Brock arrive with Taillow and Jesse bursts out of the water still determined to catch Surskit AND Pikachu, and sends in Seviper. But Pikachu fires a Thunderbolt that hits Meowth's Umbrella again, blocking the attack... until Evil Max has Surskit use Bubblebeam to blast the umbrella clear and leave them completely exposed to an attack... and Team Rocket's blasting off again!
Ash and Brock congratulate Max and Evil Max, who pull each other close and embrace as their little baby tentacle monster wiggles its tentacles about while May grabs her Skitty and....
You know what, I'm just going to end this guide now.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "RAIN! SNOW! SLEET! ICE! No matter what adversity mother nature has thrown my way I've continued my quest to be with you, traveling vast distances to witness your beauty!" "Wow, all that beauty and so full of baloney!" "Day to day, week to week, we trudge through our weary lives with nary a scrap of food... well I'm mad, I'm not going to take it anymore! So it's catch Pikachu or bust! Shake off the dust of defeat and get a real life!" "Yeah whatever, we're going to get some lunch.""There's never a dull moment when we've got May's Skitty around!""Look, her hair looks like a...." "....like a dustmop!" "Look away, maybe she won't notice us?!"
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