318: I Feel Skitty
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321: Eneko to Aromaterapi!
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The twerps find the frisbee but not Torchic, then hears it call out from the long grass so they head in and find a sick looking pink Pokemon. Oh dear, it doesn't look too well, in fact if you asked it how it felt, it would probably say....
Brock tells them it is a Skitty, which according to Dextina is the Kitten Pokemon (KITTY CAT!) and that it likes to chase things. May thinks its the cutest, and when it meows at her she squeals in delight and declares that she HAS to catch it. She orders Torchic to fight but Skitty doesn't seem too eager to reciprocate, and May thinks it might be sick. She picks it up and Brock offers it food, but it doesn't want any, so Brock declares with teeth glinting happiness that he'll sort it out and heads off with a lunging strut, the twerps following as Oddish leap out from the bushes to watch them walk.
They pass under a garden arch with Weepingbell on it, and Brock tells them this is The Greenhouse, a Pokemon Aromatherapy Laboratory.
"Ahh, aromatherapy!" gasps May happily.
"What's that, a new kind of Pokemon?" asks Ash cluelessly.
".... not quite," sighs May.
Brock explains they use fragrances to heal Pokemon, and May thanks Brocks before a young lady in a white coat walks by and asks if they need help and Brock screams in delight that she is Eliza, the Therapist, and Max realises THIS is why Brock lead them here. May tells her that there is something wrong with Skitty and asks if she'll help, and Eliza asks them if they'll come in through the front entrance.
"YESS!" screams Brock, who'd be happy with the front entrance, back entrance, oral entrance... anything to lose this pesky virginity! But then Max showcases that he has been paying attention, and takes a leaf out of Misty's book by grabbing him and dragging him away by the war.
Inside, Eliza shows them the lab where they practice with their fragrances (brutal animal testing on Pokemon hidden away in cages?). May sniffs the flowers on the shelves by the windows, and Brock tells Eliza that he's always loved aromatherapy and catching a whiff makes his day, then SNIFFS HER and tells her she just made his day before Max drags him away again.
Oh Brock, you creep.
Eliza checks out Skitty and tells May that it isn't sick, just fatigued, and she can whip up something to sort it out. Brock moans that she needs to whip up something for him too, only to be dragged away by the leg by Max.
Eliza sets down a vase and releases the scent from inside, which may or may not be opium. As the twerps take a sniff, May asks if she can stay with Skitty while it recuperates. Eliza takes the rest of the twerps out into the garden outside where she shows them the Free Range Pokemon, which are different to the Battery Pokemon in the hidden cages where the soulless testing takes place.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket float over the building in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, and Jesse and James both figure their Dustox and Cacnea respectively could use a treatment. But Meowth has other ideas, they're going to give those fragrances to the Boss! And he tells them why in another patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
"Pitcha da Boss waking up eoily in da moining," insists Meowth, as we see a cartoonish Giovanni waking up in a bedroom with a Team Rocket marked jug emitting a nice fragrance.
"Pictured," agree Jesse and James.
"And finds he's surrounded by a yummy fragrance!" Meowth continues,"Wif a sweet snootful of scent he's sure it's going to be a swell day!"
"And wif more scent in da batroom, he starts brushing his teeth longer and betta, like he's supposed ta! Den it's out tah his scented garden he frolicks! As dat fragrance calms down his Boss-type stress, he says dis, "I just hafta reward Meowth and his friends for giving me such wonderful fragrances!" "
Meowth's insane ramblings end and he asks Jesse and James, "Well?" and they react as only anyone sane could to this disjointed, impractical and thoroughly unrealistic fantasy.
"AHHH! PROMOTIONS! EXPENSE ACCOUNTS! YAY TEAM!" they scream in delight.
"WOBBUHHH!!" agrees Wobbuffet, but then James seems to feel the demon-tendrils of reality creeping into his brain as he suggests that these fragrances are designed for Pokemon, not humans. Meowth reacts furiously to this puncturing of his insane bubble and he screams at James to come up with a better idea, while Jesse laughs and says she really doesn't care as long as it is benefit to their (her) Pokemon. They agree, and Meowth suggests that the Pokemon they start off with be him.
Meanwhile, the twerps have returned to find Skitty sleeping next to May. It wakes up and she asks how it feels, and it starts chasing its tail around before tripping and bopping its own head. Then it sees a curtain move and holy shit it can't let that go unanswered so it runs at it, then jumps at Ash as he dangles a rod near it, then tries to chase its own tail, gets dizzy and falls over.
Oh kitty.
Eliza asks how things are going and Brock lunges for her excitedly only to be dragged away by Max, and then Skitty spots Pikachu's tail and chases after it, only to be grabbed by May who laughs that it is a bundle of energy. Eliza suggests it was tired because apparently kittens like to play all the time boy golly, and then it starts chowing down on some food before May calls out Torchic, proclaiming that it is time to capture it!
"You're going to battle Skitty in a laboratoy?" asks Brock, horrified.
"Sure, why not?" grins May, and then Skitty tackles directly into Torchic's crotch!
May calls for Torchic to come back with Quick Attack, knocking Skitty back. It crashes and bounces, and May prepares to throw her Pokeball when the window smashes in and.... oh holy shit Princess James makes his long awaited comeback!
YAY, HE JUST FEELS SO PRETTY!
"Prepare for some royal trouble!"
"And make it a formal double!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket waxes poetic at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight the good fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"So.... what's with your weird disguises?" asks Max.
"Us royal types know perfume!" grins Jesse, before they tear their clothes off...
HEY HEY!
...and send in Seviper.
Booo!
Seviper pumps Haze into the room, blocking the twerp’s vision as they grab at the shelves of fragrances unseen. But as Meowth grabs at some, Skitty bounds over to him and squeaks in delight and Meowth....
Well hey, I guess Meowth likes it!
Meowth does a little dance for Skitty as Brock chases after James who giggles, "You'll never catch me!" (!) before being tackled into a shelf and knocking down some bottles which combine and create a new fragrance that makes the Pokemon.... get high!
Pikachu dances stoned while the twerps try to catch Team Rocket, Brock grabbing Max instead as Team Rocket leg it out the window, leap into the basket and then.... Brock grabs James' sack!
Well it's all kinds of party time now, isn't it!
He pulls James' sack away (ouch!) and runs away as Jesse sends Seviper in after it, only to get blasted by Corphish which then hardens to protect itself from Cacnea's attack. Weepingbells jump out and James falls in love, declaring happily that they're changing plans and taking the Weepingbells. Jesse however is not one for changing plans, tells James that they're leaving him now (!) and takes off in the Balloon without him (!!).
Corphish then smashes the ground and sends James and Cacnea flying into the balloon before Taillow flies in and punctures it, sending Team Rocket blasting off again!
HEY TRAINERS WHAT'S THE BEST POKEMON TO USE IN A BATTLE AGAINST SILCOON? SABLEYE, MARILL OR WEEZING? The CORRECT ANSWER IS..... IT DOESN'T MATTER! KILL WEEZING! KILL IT! KILL IT! OH GOD KILL IT!
Eliza and Max rush up with Pikachu and Brock tells her all he could get was James' sack, and then May runs up and cries out that she can't find Skitty!
Meanwhile, James is moaning at the crash site that he never gets to do what he wants, and then as Jesse checks out her haul of scents, Meowth pops a sniff of some of the Poke-Opiates. He gasps in delight when it turns out the Skitty that crawls out isn't a fragrance-high illusion but the real deal, and wiggles his ass about as Skitty bounces up and down trying to grab at his tail.
Well... okay then!
Jesse wants to know what it is and James explains it is a Skitty and likes to play with moving things, so Jesse wiggles a twig at it and it jumps and pounces at it, and Jesse squeals in girlish delight, mimicked by Wobbuffet which squeals, "WOBBUHWOBBUHWOBBUH!"
Jesse declares she is going to capture Skitty and Meowth is horrified... not his Skitty!
He imagines a life of Skitty getting blasted off with them again and again and again and moans that that itty bitty Skitty can't be allowed to live a life like that, so he decides to make up a crazy patented Meowth Giovanni fantasy and suggests they give Skitty to the Boss!
He explains without his usual insane enthusiasm The Boss waking up early in the morning, and the Skitty will run over and Giovanni will dangle a feather and they'll play together and Giovanni will decide to give them raises and promotions and stuff and..... Jesse growls that Skitty belongs to her! Meowth moans that Skitty will be unhappy then and she roars, "WHAT!?!?" so he quickly gasps that he'll take "her" Skitty to go get some clean water, then rushes off with it and whispers in a panic to it that it has to run! But it just grins and meows happily at him because it's a Kitty and doesn't know what the fuck. Horrified, Meowth picks up a rock and tosses it, and Skitty turns and runs eagerly as Meowth moans it is all for the best, and then Jesse walks in with a grin and asks who is the best?
Meowth is horrified and clutches at his own head while cringing as she asks where her Skitty is, and when he makes up a lie about it running off, her reaction isn't exactly an understanding one.
Meanwhile, the twerps are looking for Skitty when Taillow comes flying in squawking for their attention, and they find the crash site of the balloon, but no Team Rocket or Skitty. Eliza calls out an Oddish and tells it to use Sweet Scent, and when Pikachu gets a whiff it gets HIIIIIGH MAN.
Meanwhile Team Rocket are looking for Skitty as well when Meowth and Wobbuffet get a sniff of Sweet Scent and stagger drunkenly up to the twerps, then stand and giggle happily as May and Jesse argue over who Skitty belongs too... and then in walks Skitty. Meowth screams for it to get out of there before Jesse and May lock eyes over whose Skitty it is, which all has a vaguely lesbionic flavour.
Jesse sends out Dustox and May sends out Beautiful (along with her patented boob thrust toss) and the two blast at each other, Beautifly dodging attacks and tackling Dustox down then hitting a Gust that crashes it into Team Rocket and then into their balloon wreckage. Pikachu finishes things off with a Thunderbolt to send them blasting off again, and as Team Rocket are sent flying, Meowth appears to crack a joke about Jesse's bad feminine hygiene.
May picks up Skitty and hugs it, then grabs out a Pokeball to catch it... and it playfully paws at it, knocks it to the ground, chases after the ball, taps it and... gets caught!
Well hey, May's got a Skitty.... but it's illegal to be interested in it for at least eight more years.
With Skitty captured, the twerps prepares to say their goodbyes, Eliza telling May that the road will take them right to Fall Arbour Town. As May waves goodbye, Skitty pops out of its own Pokeball, chases its tail around in delight and then collapses before May scoops it back up and carries it onwards towards the Pokemon Contest.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Ahh, aromatherapy!" "What's that, a new type of Pokemon?" "Only fing worse dan being Jesse's Pokemon is getting ya teef pulled out.... and dat ain't as BAD!"
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