314: Let Bagons Be Bagons
|
317: Tobi, Tatsubei! Myonichi ni mukatte!
|
It flaps its little arms and legs, then falls directly towards the twerps who leg it out the way, and it crashes into a rock and smashes it to pieces before glaring at them. Max thinks it is looking for a fight, and hey if it is pointless angry fighting you want, who better than a drunken Scotsman? So Ash calls out Taillow!
It flies directly at Bagon which leaps at it, but Taillow dodges and it crashes into another rock, and then Taillow tries a wing attack.... and then a tall girl in tight leather and sunglasses leaps down and roars commands at Bagon to dodge aside after tracking Taillow with her sunglass-visors. It does so, and then the girl turns and roars at the twerps for daring to launch a sneak attack on her Bagon. They point out that IT attacked them, and she becomes enraged and shouts that if it is a fight they want, it's a fight they'll get!
May explains against that THEY are the victims here, and this time it seems to get through. She apologises, taking off her glasses and reveals a pretty face.... and Brock loses it!
She introduces herself at Michelle and Brock moans that it is a beautiful name, while Ash, Max and May ignore their embarrassing friend and introduce themselves. Taillow flies up towards Bagon which is back on its cliff, and it leaps forward and plummets through the air again, Michelle tracking it with her visor and catching it when it smashes off of a rock, avoiding Ash who makes a non-technically assisted attempt to save it. Max notes her glasses seem to be tracking capable, and she explains they have a computer inside she designed herself. But this revolutionary concept completely flies over the top of Brock's head as he tries to figure out the far more mundane mystery of why Bagon keeps jumping at them. Michelle thinks that it wants to fly like Taillow does, and that is why it jumps off cliffs. Ash feels like he can commiserate, he's often dreamed of flying as well....
HE HAS A GODDAMN CHARIZARD AND A PIDGEOT GODDAMMIT!
May also wants to be able to fly, and Max says they're both pretty immature to want that, while Brock is confused, he thought a Bagon evolved into Shellgon first, then into Salamance, which CAN fly. Michelle says she is giving it all the experience it can before it DOES evolve, so Ash offers to help by challenging her to a battle.
Yeah okay, that'll do the trick.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are watching, though Jesse is disinterested by the Bagon. But Meowth sees opportunity where she only sees a brain-damaged Pokemon, he's convinced that The Boss will want one, and explains how in a patented crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
"Imagine da Boss on a mission deep in the hot steamy tropical jungle," he insists as we see a little midget cutey Giovanni stomping through a cartoonish jungle in a pith helmet.
"Dis heat is so overwhelming," grumbles the Wickle-Giovanni in a very Meowth-like voice,"But is it very important dat I build a new secret base here for my free favourite Team Rocket members."
"Just when he's so hot his eyeballs are on fire, da Boss will look up," explains Meowth as we see Giovanni's normal face, eyeballs lit on fire,"Right in front of him he'll see a fallen coconut."
"Just in da nick of time," gasps Wickle-Giovanni,"Coconut milk will save me from dis terrible first, but how can I open it? ARRGGHHHH!!!!"
"Den da boss will remember the Bagon we gave him," grins Meowth, as Wickle-Giovanni reveals that he apparently keeps the Bagon not in a pokeball, but in his knapsack.
"He'll realise dat fanks to da Bagon and its rockhard head, he can eat and drink dose coconuts whenever he wants to," sighs Meowth lovingly,"Dat's when da Boss will say,"I owe dat Meowth and his two friends a big reward for giving me dis Bagon!"
Well Jesse and James both agree this is a most likely, probable turn of events, and Meowth goes on to giggle that they'll be able to soak in "da jacooz" and live large, while we see a quick shot of the three of them enjoying the hot water of a hot spring.
And no Gentle Dodgers, you don't get to see Jesse's "jacooz".
Meanwhile, Michelle and Ash are facing off, Pikachu versus Bagon. Max explains that Bagon should have the advantage, and then Ash sends Pikachu in with a Quick Attack. Michelle tracks Pikachu and tells Bagon to defend, and Pikachu smacks its head on Bagons and wubs its wickle head and moans unhappily. Bagon tries Skull Bash but Pikachu Dodges, but Michelle takes this into account and has Bagon redivert, and it ALMOST hits Pikachu which only just dodges, causing Bagon to smash into a rock.
Pikachu sweat drops in panic at how close that was, while Max and May are worried about the advantage that Michelle's visor gives her. Pikachu uses Thunderbolt, but Michelle tracks the likely target radius and has Bagon dodge, and it Skull Bashes Pikachu hard and sends it crashing backwards. Michelle believes the battle is all ready over, but Ash tells Pikachu to hang in there, and it leaps up and flexes its biceps, which confuses Michelle... this makes no scientific sense! Pikachu moves in with Thunder and Michelle realises it is too big to dodge and they must charge. Bagon charges in and crashes into Pikachu, but a second too late, and Pikachu hits a full force Thunder. Michelle calls for it to get up and it leaps back up, and she calls for Skull Bash again. Ash tells Pikachu to fight back, and they charges at each other as Ash and Michelle grit teeth and look on.... and then Ash tells Pikachu to dodge at the last second. It leaps clear of Bagon which skids to a stop, and Pikachu fires with Thunderbolt as Michelle calculates and orders a 30 degree upward jump, then Skull Bash, but Pikachu retaliates with Iron Tail which hits Bagon's head, stopping the attack but.... doing no damage!
Michelle is impressed and tells Ash so, and he grins asks Pikachu if it heard that.
"Prepare for trouble is all I heard!"
"And make it double was the very next word!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket remote controlled blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare for a remote controlled fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"WOBBBUFFET!
Yes it's Team Rocket in a.... HELICOPTER! It's unclear where they got either the helicopter or the funds for it, but inside of it is a.... JETBACK MEOWTH!
Okay that's just fucking awesome is what that is.
Jesse remote controls Meowth to move for Pikachu, then darts him aside so he can grab Bagon instead, flying through the air as Jesse giggles they should do all their capers by remote control now. But then Ash calls out Treecko to use Bullet Seed on the helicopter, causing Jesse to drop the remote control and send Meowth spiraling out of control!
HEY TRAINERS WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON EVOLVES INTO GROVYLE? NINCADA, LOTAD, OR TREECKO? THE ANSWER IS TREECKO AND IF YOU DIDN'T GET THIS RIGHT YOUR MUM MUST WEEP WITH SADNESS, I MEAN JESUS CHRIST JUST LOOK AT GROYVLE IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE TREECKO, AND LOTAD IS A LITTLE BLUE MEXICAN AND NINCADA'S SOME KIND OF GODDAMN SPIDER WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
James grabs the stick between his legs and bellows he is coming for Meowth....
I KNEW IT!
....while Michelle finds the remote control and scans it with her glasses, saying she can take control if they can get close enough to them. Meanwhile Meowth is moaning for help from Jesse or James, and they fly up behind him with a net extended, and he weeps with joy that he loves them..... then screams that they missed as his jetpack plummets through the forest and he crashes into a tree, dropping Bagon.
Meanwhile, Treecko is running through the treetops followed by the twerps and Michelle, who is complimenting Ash on his well-trained Pokemon. She notes that Treecko has Bullet Seed, Pikachu has Iron Tail, and it’s obvious that he is a great trainer. He thanks her but says the Pokemon deserve the credit, but Brock says he put a lot of work in. Michelle asks if he encourages them and Ash says yes, then points out that if she keeps encouraging Bagon maybe it WILL learn to fly.
Well..... no. But hey, keep on encouraging it to try and violate God's laws and spit in the face of evolution.
Meanwhile, Jesse and James have found Meowth and Bagon, and as Jesse and James try to cheer him up, Bagon giggles over the jetpack. When Meowth explains that Bagon always wanted to fly, Jesse and James don't seem too impressed, but Meowth scratches James face and points out that HE accomplished the impossible, and a surprisingly cheerful Jesse asks to hear the story again, because the sad truth is she doesn't bother to remember anything anyone tells her that doesn't involve her.... and her own personal history is more a bizarre fantasy world written by a terrible romance novelist. So Meowth once more tells of how he learnt to walk upright and speak human. James moans over hearing the story again, while Meowth encourages Bagon to keep on trying, and Jesse is aghast... Team Rocket extolling the virtues of hard work? But Meowth has an ulterior motive, after all, a flying Bagon will make the Boss happier, and he explains how with a SECOND patented crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
"Imagine da boss traveling in his helicopter, and he gets a sudden craving for coconut milk.... but da coconut is too hard to crack open, so da Boss is upset, what can he do?" asks Meowth.
"Just den da Bagon we gave him comes flying by. it uses its rockhard head to split the coconut! Da Boss can finally drink his fill of coconut milk, and dat's when he'll say, "Dat Meowth and his friends deserve an even bigger reward dan I fort for giving me dis Bagon!""
As Jesse, James and Meowth giggle and squeal over the prospect of promotions, bonuses and maybe even a yacht, the twerps show up and challenge them. Pikachu Thunderbolts them into their helicopter as Bagon runs over to Michelle eagerly carrying the jetpack. As she asks if it is okay, Team Rocket start up their helicopter and grab Pikachu with a metal arm, enraging Ash who screams that this isn't fair.
"It also not fair that I'm both brilliant AND beautiful, but that's the way it is, so tata twerps!" laughs Jesse.
They head off, but Bagon cries out it wants to follow on the jetpack, and Treecko jumps onto its back to assist. Michelle uses her glasses to triangulate distance, then fires up the pack using the remote control and sends them flying straight for the helicopter as Bagon looks about beneath it happily. Inside the helicopter, Pikachu is trying to Thunderbolt out of its cage but can't, and then Team Rocket spot Bagon which.... SMASHES RIGHT THROUGH THE SIDE OF THE COPTER! Treecko jumps onto it and Jesse calls out Seviper to fight it.... filling the cockpit full of snake and preventing James from flying. Bagon slams its head against the side of the cockpit while Treecko lets loose with Bullet Seed, which recoils around the inside of the cockpit and cuts open the cage, letting Pikachu out. As James tries to regain control of the copter, Jesse and Meowth tug angrily on his cheeks demanding he do something!
James cries out that lunch won't be served today, while on the back of Bagon's jetpack with Treecko, Pikachu uses Thunderbolt and sends Team Rocket blasting off again. Bagon flies about in circles happily as Max tells Michelle that she believed in him and his dream came true, and Michelle in turn says she owes it to Ash and Bagon.
Bagon lands and Treecko and Pikachu jump off, and Michelle asks how it enjoyed its first flight.... and it evolves into Shellgon!
Michelle hugs it happily and it says its own name in delight, while Pidgeotto fly out of the bushes while the sun sets and the narrator says that they've learnt an important lesson.... that you should hold on tight to your dreams and never let go, because with belief comes success.
Well, belief and a bitching jetpack.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "It also not fair that I'm both brilliant AND beautiful" |
|
