313: Love At First Flight
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316: Barubito to Irumize! Ai no Dansu!
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Then they spot something out in the lake.... a bizarre midget in a weird purple tuxedo floating over the water, and then another little midget in a red tuxedo flies over to join her. Oh my, it's....
The two midgets fly around each other... why they're not midgets at all; they're an Illumise and a Volbeat! The two bee-like Pokemon look set to get it on (or have fun, as Max points out) and then Nurse Joy calls out from the lakeside where a bunch of seats are set up with spectators that they never noticed before, asking if they're here for the May festival. Brock moans that NOW he is, and Joy explains that people come to the lake to watch the Illumise and Volbeat performing their dances....
Yeah, dancing, that's what they're here to see. It's a goddamn voyeur festival!
On the dock stands a fat man in a bowtie who is the Volbeat's trainer, his name - surprisingly - is Romeo. Beside him stands a tall, pretty women named Juliet who is Illumise's Trainer... and as she turns her face in their direction and the wind flows through her hair, Brock loses it as Joy cries out at him that he can't disturb the trainers!
May and max grab him and drag him back, while Juliet waves to the spectators and promises to make the Festival a great success, while Joy says that anyone said to be in love who witnesses the festival will become incredibly lucky.
So they get horny and fuck, eh?
Meanwhile, Juliet has Illumise use Sweet Scent, while Romeo gets overexcited and fumbles with his balls...
So it really IS that kind of festival!
....which turn out to be his Pokeballs, which tumble to the dock as Brock growls, wondering how such a loser like Romeo got paired with Juliet when a perfectly acceptable loser like himself is right there! Ash calls out encouragement though, and Romeo grips tightly to his balls and says thanks.
He calls out four Volbeat and calls for the one all ready out that it is showtime, and it leads the others forward through the air.... then spots Illumise and gets overexcited, leading them too close to it. Romeo tries to call them back but drops his red-tipped wand (first his balls, then his wand!) and Illumise is smacked over and into the water, followed by the Volbeat. Juliet dives in, knocking Romeo into the water as well in the process, and he cries out that he can't swim. So Ash, Brock and their Pokemon swim to his aid as Juliet pops out of the water and Romeo mistakenly thinks she is saving him. Ash and Brock have their Pokemon look for Volbeat and Illumise, and Mudkip finds Illumsie while Lotad and Corphish get the Volbeat to safety.
Once they're all on the dock, Brock offers the wet and dripping Juliet a towel, and she thanks him before hugging Illumise after Nurse Joy has tended to it. Joy suggests her and Romeo bring their Pokemon to the Centre, and as they head off before Brock has a chance to suggest Juliet get out of those wet clothes, Romeo thanks Ash and the twerps introduce themselves.
Romeo is impressed by Ash's "passion", but then he gets a prick up the butt!
So it's THAT kind of festival?
He leaps off of Corphish' horn and collapses into the water as the twerps note that he seems to have plenty of energy after all, while from the forest on the shore the scene is watched by Team Rocket, Jesse surprisingly showing concern for the Volbeat Trainer.
"And wot's it tah you how dat whiny whacko feels?" demands Meowth.
But Jesse wants to see the dance of the Illumsie and Volbeat, and then turns to James and smiles, saying she is also hoping for her Prince Charming to come.
In the shattered, burnt remains of a hovel, the burnt, beaten, spit-on corpse of Rocketshipping suddenly sits up straight and lets loose a deep,"Oooooooooooooh," noise
"But its only good luck for those people in love all ready," gasps James, looking a little concerned.
The corpse of Rocketshipping twists and flinches, but refuses to fall.
"And who says I'm not ALREADY in love with my Prince Charming," giggles Jesse, clasping her hands together on her cheek, still facing James.
From the burnt and blackened lungs of Rocketshipping's corpse emits a dry husky sound... it is laughing!
"He's on his way here to sweep me off my feet so we can live happily ever after!" she proclaims, imagining a shadowy BLOND man on a Rapidash.
"That.... was just.... cruel...." gasps the corpse of Rocketshipping, and collapses inert to the floor once more.
"Dat's nice," mutter Meowth and James together, and then it's Meowth's turn for a crazy, unrealistic fantasy! Why they'll give the Illumise and Volbeat to the Da Boss! He'll be all stressed and tired from the work of being Da Boss, but then he'll be reinvigorated by the dance number that Team Rocket will set up for him, and give them all bonuses!
At the Pokemon Centre, Romeo is concerned that he is going to fuck up the festival, but the twerps offer to help him practice. Heading out to the lake, he calls out his five Volbeat and wiggles his wand to get them to do what he wants.
Be warned Gentle Dodgers, this does NOT work in real life. I have to be in Court next week.
They fly about at his command and the twerps notice he's improved, and Brock tells him he can pull it off at the festival.
So it's THAT kind of festival.
Romeo notes that whenever they practice alone, they do fine, but when they have their female partners with them, everything falls apart.
Oh we've all been there!
It seems that Beat (his lead Volbeat) gets nervous whenever it has to perform, and May's chest leads her forward towards Romeo, and she asks how he feels around Juliet, and he says he feels tight in the chest, his heart beats faster, his hands start to sweat and he starts acting all goofy!
Ash is horrified, it sounds like he is sick and needs to get to a hospital, but May says that may be true, but he can't be cured... he's lovesick!
"Lovesick?" asks Ash.
"So Romeo, you do like Juliet, don't you?" May asks, ignoring him.
"I DO!" screams Brock, and May shoves him away. Romeo says he doesn't know, explaining that they've been mates since they were kids, so he can't be in love with her, but May says even old friends can fall in love, and he doesn't seem particularly pleased at the idea, while May blushes and says there is nothing like young love!
About a million paedophiles have tried that a legal defence, Gentle Dodgers, it hasn't worked yet.
May sashays her hips up to Ash and says she has an idea, can she ask a favour of him? Ash just stares at her blankly and says sure, why not, completely unaffected by her female charms but eager to help out... which he will soon regret.
HEY TRAINERS, WHAT"S THE BEST POKEMON TO USE AGAINST MUDKIP? ROSELIA, PLUSLE OR TORCHIC? THE ANSWER IS PLUSLE, BUT WE'D HAVE ACCEPTED SETTING IT ON FIRE!
That night, Romeo approaches Juliet on her balcony from behind and tries to tell her what he needs to say, but stammers and mumbles with his words. May can't take it and leaps out, shouting out that he has to tell her he loves her, and the two start chatting away while Juliet continues to simply stand on her balcony.... and then suddenly twists about and tears off her wig to reveal she is.... ASH!
May growls at him that if he wants to see the Illumise/Volbeat dance he'll just have to put up with this, and then Brock joins the farce by shouting out to Romeo that he loves Juliet too so he'll show him how it is done. He grabs roses from somewhere and starts expressing his love for her... to Ash... and then starts getting carried away before lunging at the small boy who runs in terror, pursued by the increasingly desperate Brock.
Oh my God, he's going to bang Ash! It's THAT kind of festival!
Inside the Pokecenter, Juliet complains to Illumsie that Romeo was a lot less clumsy when he was a kid, in fact she once asked if they'd get married and he said, "Sure why not," which are the three words all little girls dream of hearing! She spots a light outside, and steps out wondering if it is Volbeat.
Well kind of, if by Volbeat you mean Meowth in a bee costume with a light shining out of his ass!
Illumsie's tits start glowing (yeah, that's how it works apparently) and flies towards Volbeat, only to be caught by James in a net (and he cracks a "surfing the net" joke) and then they haul their catch up, Juliet watching from afar, confused by the lights.
Meanwhile, Romeo is still struggling to get the right words to tell Juliash, and as May and her ridiculously oversized breasts yell at him, Juliet overhears his words and blushes, then is startled by Brock leaping out to tell her he loves her, and then panics when he realises it is the real her. She explains Illumsie has disappeared, and Romeo takes charge after Brock randomly declares he'll save the day, saying his Volbeat can catch the scent and find Illumsie.
The less said about the scent they're following the better.
They arrive at a cliff and Romeo takes charges, saying he'll climb the cliff but the others must go around. Brock declares that this will allow him to "take care" of Juliet, and Ash eagerly declares he'll climb the cliff too. They scramble up, and once there they discover... well what they discover is just plain disturbing.
"Prepare for trouble! don't we look divine?"
"And make it double looking good, feeling fine!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To walk the line towards the sweet scent of success."
"To light up your world with my Volbeatness!
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the scented speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare yourselves for a sweet scented fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
WOBBBBBBBUFFET!"
Yes, Gentle Dodgers, that's Jesse and James in Illumsie and Volbeat costumes, shaking their asses while James ass lights on and off.
It seems Team Rocket were putting out the scent to trap them, and Romeo and Ash spot Illumsie in a cage beneath the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon. Meowth hits a button and drags in four of the Volbeat with a giant vacuum, and then turns up the power and grabs Ash and Pikachu. Beat flies in and smashes Illumsie's cage with Quick Attack to get it free, and then Ash and Pikachu are dragged into the vacuum, Pikachu letting loose with Thunderbolt and making Meowth's hose go limp.
Oh my.
Volbeat uses Double Edge to blast them free, though this makes Ash, Pikachu and the Volbeat confused, and Jesse sends in Seviper after the confused Volbeat, but they're dragged off by the scent coming out Illumsie's crotch.
Wow.
James and Meowth seem impressed too (James is a surprise!) while Jesse is unaffected, and then the Volbeat blast Seviper and Team Rocket with a 5-Pokemon Signal Beam and send Team Rocket blasting off again!
Illumsie kisses Volbeat which grins, and then Romeo tells Juliet that he likes her, and she blushes and says it is so sudden... and then Brock leaps in with flowers and says he likes her too! Juliet lets him down, telling him she likes someone else, and asks Romeo if he means to keep his promise that they marry. He says, "I guess," which are the two words all little girls long to hear, and May giggles that it is a happy ending for everyone, while Brock sobs in despair.
Haha, virgin!
That night, the voyeurs settle in to watch the dance as Romeo and Juliet finally get their shit together and put on a good show. May giggles that it is all thanks to the power of love, and Ash doesn't get it, as per usual. May laughs and winks at him, saying that he'll understand when he's older, and the episode ends as all episodes must.
Ash without a fucking clue!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Hang tough, Romeo!" "There's nothing like finding young love!""That's weird, I don't think I've ever been nervous in my life!""All thanks to the power of love!
!"Power of love?You'll understand when you're older, Ash." |
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